carefreewannabe:


You have happily participated in p[b]utting single mothers down[/b].
You have sided with people who offend them.
You called it enlightenment and education to tell them what ALL of them know.
And to come at people whose situation CAN be very tough, especially in developing countries, is very weak.

And the worst of all is that you don't see anything wrong in it.

jpphilips:



Nobody is putting anybody down, a man or woman with a child is socially disadvantaged it is common sense, I will not marry a man with a child if I was a woman.

carefreewannabe:

You have happily participated in putting single mothers down.
You have sided with people who offend them.

carefreewannabe:

You called it enlightenment and education to tell them what ALL of them know.

carefreewannabe:

And to come at people whose situation CAN be very tough, especially in developing countries, is very weak.

And the worst of all is that you don't see anything wrong in it.

carefreewannabe:

I don't see having a child as a disadvantage just because some or even many men wouldn't want to be with me for this reason. My life is not about how many men fancy me.
If anything ever happens to the father of my children, he will be able to Rest in Peace, because he will leave this world knowing that I will never consider my position as disadvantaged but rather cherish motherhood and make the best out of it.

Sagamite:


Really?

So me stating that women in Saudi Arabia are not allowed to drive or travel without a close male relative is "participating in putting Saudi women down"?

So me stating the men in the West are milked through the divorce courts is "participating in milking men"?

Merely stating the obvious is putting people down.

I am sorry but I don't understand such logic. It does not mix well with the blood in my veins.

My first post on the thread states everything about my opinion.

https://www.nairaland.com/1929092/marry-someone-child/7#26798704



Some did not appear to know, and I laid my facts down the way it is.



Wow! As usual, the feminist angle!

So when you stated single fathers have the same issues, you did not see it as a "put down" or "offensive"?

It is only when it is said about women that it is a "put down" or "offensive"?

You get very emotional and outraged at situations that can be very tough for women, but if it is a situation that can be very tough for men you are taciturn and only want to talk about ................"what about women".

But, you see nothing wrong with it. It is fine.

It is okay for women to be "me, me, me".



Having a child has its pros and cons just like any complex human interaction.

Marriage has its pros and cons.

Living in wealthy neighbourhood has its pros and cons.

Having only sons or only daughters has its pros and cons.

Living in Nigeria surprisingly has its pros and cons.

When it comes to the dating game, having a child already has its cons that puts people (women or men) mainly at a disadvantage. Far more so women.

Just like being a divorcee puts people (women or men) mainly at a disadvantage in the dating game. Far more so women.

Just like having a disability puts people (women or men) mainly at a disadvantage in the dating game.

Just as being uneducated people (women or men) mainly at a disadvantage in the dating game.

Just as being unattractive puts people (women or men) mainly at a disadvantage in the dating game. More so women.

Just as being extremely short puts men at mainly at a disadvantage in the dating game.

Just as being poor puts men at mainly at a disadvantage in the dating game.

The society you are in dictates the magnification of these disadvantages.

Simples!

Hyperventilating in your feminist red mist at the obvious does not change anything. A mist you never have for men being disadvantaged, obviously, otherwise it would not have the appended "feminist".

That is not to say people should be ashamed or not love their child. I just stated what is the fact! It is what it is.

carefreewannabe:

And then you asked if single motherhood is bad karma? You continued talking about single motherhood as a form of punishment (=bad karma).
I am sure you would never ask if men in the West lose a lot of money due to bad karma.

Sagamite:


I merely reversed a real man mugu training principles as a question, not even an assertion.

I never talked about single motherhood as a form of punishment except in the illogical mind of Professor Implier who might have implied it for me.

carefreewannabe:


I don't see having a child as a disadvantage just because some or even many men wouldn't want to be with me for this reason. My life is not about how many men fancy me.
If anything ever happens to the father of my children, he will be able to Rest in Peace, because he will leave this world knowing that I will never consider my position as disadvantaged but rather cherish motherhood and make the best out of it.

jpphilips:




Who makes the social rules, you? you think the world runs on what you think or what your convictions are?
I followed closely your bickering with Sagamite, though he is Maverick, but I can categorically tell you that if men really think like women, where things that really matter should be down played, you lots wont have any need for us.

It doesn't matter whether or not you are happy, the thread is a direct question that behooves a direct answer, my answer is a capital "NO" if you have a child, and my reason is that you are socially disadvantaged and if the tides were reversed, you will still not consider me.

I may change my mind probably when Genevieve agrees to marry or date a plumber in her neighborhood.

Sagamite:


Really?


Having a child has its pros and cons just like any complex human interaction.

Marriage has its pros and cons.

Living in wealthy neighbourhood has its pros and cons.

Having only sons or only daughters has its pros and cons.

Living in Nigeria surprisingly has its pros and cons.

When it comes to the dating game, having a child already has its cons that puts people (women or men) at a disadvantage. Far more so women.

Just like being a divorcee puts people (women or men) at a disadvantage in the dating game. Far more so women.

Just like having a disability puts people (women or men) at a disadvantage in the dating game.

Just as being uneducated puts people (women or men) at a disadvantage in the dating game.

Just as being unattractive puts people (women or men) at a disadvantage in the dating game. More so women.

Just as being extremely short puts men at a disadvantage in the dating game.

Just as being poor puts men at a disadvantage in the dating game.

Whether this people choose to see it as a disadvantage or not does not stop it from being a disadvantage they have to somehow overcome.

The society you are in dictates the magnification of these disadvantages. Some would be pronounced, some would only be slight.

Simples!


Hyperventilating in your feminist red mist at the obvious does not change anything. A mist you never have for men being disadvantaged, obviously, otherwise it would not have the appended "feminist".

That is not to say people should be ashamed or not love their child. I just stated what is the fact! It is what it is.

carefreewannabe:


You could have done it without supporting the rest of the brainless people here who think it is ok and good to discriminate against single mothers.
Intellect comes with responsibility.



If you say that single motherhood MIGHT be bad karma then you say that single motherhood is a form of punishment. It's more than an implication, it is a logical conclusion.

[quote author=carefreewannabe post=26965091]

My ex had a child. I had no problem with his child. I had a beautiful relation with his son.
When we broke up, the most painful thing was to part with the child.
Since then I know that I prefer a man who does not have a child because it can be pretty painful but a child would never be a reason for me not to date someone. And as we get older more and more people will have children. In the age of divorce, it is more than normal that most people we meet will have a past and its results will be children from previous relationships.

carefreewannabe:


I don't have children. I thought you followed the discussion.

jpphilips:


Good for you, but remember Sagamite's advise when you become baby moma hungry

jaydee87:

Bro thanks for your advice, the problem is the guy na her friend senior brother, the guy just moved after the whole film... well I just dey tank God say she no let me enta cos she fit say na me, one reason why I liked her more.

jpphilips:


Good for you, but remember Sagamite's advise when you become baby moma hungry

maternal:
Carefree,

I know you're a feminist. But single mothers in the west aren't strong at all. They're a liability to the state. Stop it.

OmoEziokwu:


He he he you guys should stop telling her any more. She's simply being unreasonable or something.

Re-tarded...?

carefreewannabe:

Apart from Sagamite all of you have a 1 digit IQ.

OmoEziokwu:


Typical Nigerian black girl. I don't expect any different.

Enasco1:
ok so youths shud do away wt premarital sex!! Ok. Marryin a lady who has collected more than 8 joysticks n have done numerous abortions x better than Marryin a single mother....

AdeniyiA:
At least it shows her fertility, how do you explain a lady who had had several unprotected intimacy not having a baby, it's either she's done abortions or she's infertile, either way what's d assurance she'd be able to conceive when married /
yes of course, i can ...

carefreewannabe:

You could have done it without supporting the rest of the brainless people here who think it is ok and good to discriminate against single mothers.
Intellect comes with responsibility.

carefreewannabe:

If you say that single motherhood MIGHT be bad karma then you say that single motherhood is a form of punishment. It's more than an implication, it is a logical conclusion.

carefreewannabe:


In an environment that is crowded with chauvinism, Naija women are still too nice.

Send Maternal to any Western country and let him spew his rubbish there and see how women AND MEN will react to him.

maternal:



I have married her. Unlike some she refused to carry my child unless I put a ring on it. She actually has morals.

CharmO1:
Wow! Many comments, mostly negative. I'm a single mother. I did the same thing many ladies have done and will always do: s3x. But I did what only a brave woman with a conscience would do, I kept my son. I laughed when I read some HELL NO's. Better a tokunbo. Car than a car that was wrecked in an accident and then panel-beat, repainted, and repackaged as new. I haven't had issues with men looking down on me because I'm independent and I don't even allow a man I'm dating meet my son. I don't want my son seeing different men in my life. It's only that lucky man that would have the priviledge of meeting him though adopting him is out of the question cos my family won't let him out of their sight. Fertility is not guaranteed because a woman has given birth but there's a higher chance of fertility and if there are no kids after marriage, then na the man get problem be that. As someone rightly said, it takes a mature mind and a good heart to be with a single mother because honestly we hardly trust because we've been hurt deeply before. I haven't met any promiscuous single mother. Strangely, most single mothers can close legs tight because of fear of being used and dumped. My advice to single mothers, don't be desperate, rely on God's time. It will happen for you too. And also be financially independent so no man calls you a gold-digger. And no matter what love your child/children because a man can break your heart and abandon you but your kid(s) are yours forever.

DailyNews:
many guys here saying yes they will marry single mothers are either pretending or just typing for typing sake. The guy u quoted is real...and what he said is what goes in the minds of majority of guys.

As for ur question, that's y guys can kill any guy who messes with their sister; me, God forbid, but any guy that tries such with my beloved female relation won't find it funny- in fact he must marry her except she doesn't want him.

But I keep wondering y a girl would get pregnant for a guy who isn't ready for marriage, its ridiculous.

Every parent out there should pls forewarn n educate their male n female children on the dangers of premarital sex n unprotected sex pls.


This topic is a big problem in our society now- many young single mothers; which also shows how HIV is being transmitted nowadays, sighs

carefreewannabe:


In an environment that is crowded with chauvinism, Naija women are still too nice.

Send Maternal to any Western country and let him spew his rubbish there and see how women AND MEN will react to him.

maternal:


You have started again. I now live in the west. Everything I've said are based on facts or my life experience. Any reasonable man would agree with me. It's a pity you're deceiving women on this board. Other than being at a great disadvantage finding a boyfriend or husband, they're also at a big disadvantage economically as well. All these "strong independent single mothers" if they had to do it all over again, they wouldn't put themselves in the position they're in. You can fool others with your rhetoric, it won't work on me. I'm a realist.