***

© Standd 2015

All rights reserved.

This is a story, a rant, a plea and a cry from an anguished heart.
The picture below touched me to the core and a thousand others that makes front page, I can not look on and pretend that all is well; until another picture is posted.

And our MEN sit idle, beat their chests, abuse us and still feel that nothing is wrong with them....and with us all.


**
I have refused to use 'Some men' or 'Most men' cos it's high time we start paying some folks back with their own coins.

**

** I live in Nigeria, hence the title.
Read with an open mind...

Dedicated to miss Morenikeji Owolabi, the 20 year old female student whose remains were found in a ritualist den in Ogun State.
I did not know you while you were alive, I do not know how you got to your place of death, I do not know if you went with a man or you went by yourself...I do not anything anymore as the pain of it all is overwhelming.
I just hope and pray that you and every other woman out there who have been used, abused, and killed will finally find a place of rest.
*****





......Long long ago,

***
The sun retreated into the skies like a weary market woman, wary after a long day of hustling and bustling to sell her wares...I looked around the streets and felt the darkness creeping up on me, though the sun still peeks occasionally, the darkness I feel, seeps outs from deep within.

The day I stepped foot on the soil of Irrua, I looked around and noticed that nothing spectacular marked the landscape of the sprawling town, I wondered if they were hostile to investors, I wondered why I had to end up in this very lonely place, where the sun peeks and peeks, wary of retreating, wary of shining.

I strolled on, as little birds fluttered around, and the winds gathered to begin its journey down south, I titled my face to the sky and wafts of sweet breeze hit, then a fly perched on my nostril at exactly the same moment that snippets of harsh conversation hit my ears....

"Broda, ahn ahn, na 50naira you give me?"

"Ehn, na wetin I get"

"Eee no good oh, you come go two rounds, you no wan pay. I tell you say I wan buy top and skirt, you come do finish gimme 50naira."

"Oya come deh go, your mama go deh find you for house"

"Broda, na God go judge you oh"

"Deh go, we go see tomorrow eh, I go bring better money come, you hear"

**

I hastened my steps as my ears perked up, just as I neared the abandoned building located close to the edge of the street, a figure jumped out and hurried away. I stopped in my tracks and tried to make out the retreating figure, then it hit me, the little girl before me is my neighbour's 11year old daughter. A slim, petite child who has not reached adolescence, flat-chested, tiny and very small.
I prayed in my heart that the conversation I heard has nothing to do with her...but then, God did not answer my prayer as it was a tad too late.

I refused to go away, I did not immediately realize what I was waiting for until I heard rusltlings inside the building and in the semi-darkness, a male figure ambled towards me. And I heard:

"Fine Corper, how far, wetin you deh find for here?"

"Ah, AB..good evening, I am just taking a stroll, PHCN have not restored power and it's hot inside"

"Okay, oya make we stroll go front of Zuma go siddon, breeze deh there."

***

I followed like one dazed, I had one question threatening to burst forth from my lips but I held myself in check. To completely get the information I seek, I knew I had to approach like a friend and that was exactly what I did.

So, I sat with AB and we talked into the evening, after asking him a series of irrelevant questions, I summoned courage and cut to the chase:

"Ermm.... AB, abeg no vex oh, but you see that smallie, mama Joy pikin for inside that building wey you comot from?"

"Yes oh, I just deh follow am yarn, the gal too stubborn"

"Wetin una bin deh talk?"

*goofy laughter*

"Eh, the gal been deh kpash kpash boys for free, so I wan help im ministry"

"Ehn ehn, but that girl small oh, she too small, why una deh sleep with pikin like that, ee no good."

"See Corper oh, that one no be pikin oh, she sabi pass you. Pikin wey give me tough time, deh tell me to hit harder.., no be me first deh there self, I just wan deh help am, I like am."

"You like am, pikin wey be 11years old, you like am? But you go don reach 30 as you deh so oh, abi?. Why you no find ga lof 20-25 to like na? That one too small abeg, leave am."

"See, children for here deh quick grow and if no be me deh do am, others go deh do am.. You see that uncompleted building, little gals of 10-15years deh come there every night and them plenty, na money dem dey find. If you promise them 200naira and you give them 50naira, dem go collect am because them no get choice."

"But it's not fair, it's not fair, you guys are destroying their lives from such tender age and when they grow to become nonentities, you will lable them as sluts."

"Na slut them be na, all woman na slut, sorry oh fine corper"
***

ALL NIGERIAN WOMEN ARE SLUTS....

Okay, that is the Cruz of the matter, we have heard it over and over again form Nigerian men.. If you are a Nigerian woman, it's either you are cheap, proud, gold-digger, slut, fake, dirty, ugly, shameless, just name it.

And our MEN are what? SAINTS!! Who do no evil. Shusssh, all they do is finger toddlers, steal and rob, lure girls to ritualists dens, rape 3year old girls, become political touts who maim and kill and then play football with human heads, join cults and then put innocent people through hell, traffic women and drugs, join cabals, let us stop here.
And when they have time on their hands, they sit and rant and have the guts to label their women with different undignified names...Such Hypocrisy...

Did you see the ones that ran to the radio station in Kano to wed a supposed rich gal, NO! They are not Gold-diggers, they are hustlers..And the ones that wed FAT mamas and their ancestors age mates abroad, they are hustlers too. In Nigeria, only women should be called names, the men can do no harm.

See,

In my country, if a woman makes it in public office, she used her punny. Pls ask Deziani and Oduah.
If she doesn't make it, she is dull and weak.
If a woman works to fend for herself and has no time for men, she is proud and will grow old without a man.
If she doesn't work and depends on others, she is a gold digger.
If a woman sleeps with different men, she is a slut.
If she is a virgin, she is a pretender.
If a woman keeps herself and rebuffs all proposition, she is a stupid oaf who will die of loneliness.
If she says yes to all of them, she is shameless.
If she knows her onions, she is a feminist and a plaque.
If she is soft and pliable, she is a dunce and fish-brained
If she breathes, she is in trouble
If she is homely and decent, she is getting old so she is pretending so she can get a man.
If she is indecent and dresses wild, she will be raped.
If she shows her love to a man, she is just a pretender trying to form good girl so the man can marry her.
If she is non-chalant and free-spirited, she is a loose girl with no manners.
If she marries a rich man, she is a gold-digger
If she talks back at her cheating husband, she will be beaten to stupor.
If she steals 50naira pepper at Ejigbo market, she will be brutalized and killed by touts, thieves and rapists who call themselves men,
If she steals a bale of cloth in Onitsha market, she will be stripped and molested by Touts in Upper Iweka road who themselves are petty thieves and robbers.
If she stays in an abusive marriage, she is a GOOD woman.
If she leaves her abusive husband, she is a BAD woman.
I she dares to follow her dreams, she is a FEMINIST.
If she dares to live, the way she desires to live, she is a FEMINIST!


****
I have a friend whose uncle used to give her head when she was 6years old, he continued molesting her until she left the house. She grew up attracted to abusive men, she craved for the thrills of sex everyday, we would huddle together and cry when she remembers her past, and all the pains inflicted on her by the male specie..

***

When I was 15, I had a 13year old friend in school, everyday, she goes home to her 30year old boyfriend and they have SEX. A 30year old man sleeping with a 13year old and nothing touches his conscience. My friend grew up in Ogu-Bolo in Rivers state and she told me that during periods of unrest, soldiers deployed to their community sleep with little girls and women alike. It was a norm that drove her into the arms of a 30year old Nigerian MAN when they moved to Lagos...The GOOD man, sleeping with the 13year old 'slut'.

***

We have heard and read about men defiling children and these men don't talk to themselves, as a matter of fact, to most of them, a girl/woman should be used. They don't understand the level of their own depravity, they see girls/women as sub-humans who should not be respected or cherished. They spend money to get girls and then whine endlessly about it,..

Some men blame girls who wear skimpy clothes and get raped, very soon, they will be blaming the 3months old toddlers who get defiled for not tightening their diapers very well...yes, there are some animal called men who do NOT know what to do with women except to beat them up, rape the, abuse them, unclothe them, and shame them.

It is like a legacy of woe and madness... See a woman, disrespect her, abuse her in any way possible, then shame her. They don't stop there, they move on to the next victim. Who taught the men to do these things? Is there a warp in our natures, something in us that make men want to hurt us?


WOMEN? Are we sluts? Do we really deserve all the disrespect? Should we be used and even killed because we are CHEAP SLUTS and our MEN are MAD?
Sometimes, one would wonder, when did it all deteriorate to this level. Grown men desiring toddlers and babies, grown men hitting on women and exhibiting all sorts of abusive behaviours because they no longer see anything good in womanhood.
A man who has probably carried a 3years old toddler on his laps and messed with her, then moved on to sleeping with 12year olds in uncompleted buildings, and then a scantily dressed female passes by him, and he drags her by the neck into the bush and rapes her, because in his sick mind, she deserves to be raped...will he stop there? NO. He will probably get married and proceed to abuse his wife in every way possible, then when the madness eats deeper, he will abuse his female toddler and the endless circle continues.


****
Yesterday, I was in a bus and as I looked out the window, I saw a man, a grown man, pretending to urinate by the road side, while he subtly flashes his deeekk towards a female student passing close to him, I watched again to be sure, and he exposed himself more and faced the little girl as she passed him. I almost puked as bile rose in my throat. This same MAD man will move around labelling the women in the society with all sorts of unprintable names.

And I know women are also to blame for most of these, yes! When women in their petty jealousies and pettiness can not stand together to right a lot of wrongs, when women also label themselves with stupid names just to gain points with the male folks... NEWS FLASH! Hey gal, when you rubbish a woman like you just so the men will think you are cool, it's pathetic cos men don't see you as cool, they see you as stupid and petty. Comprende? Have you ever heard of the girls code..of course not sister!


So our men are hypocrites who:

Rape and molest toddlers,
Sleep with 12year old girls,
Abuse women,
Beat up their wives,
Spend on women and then call them gold-diggers as if they were roped and tied to release their cash,
unclothe women in public for crimes they are also quilty of....
Impregnate girls and deny them..
Father children and abandon them..
kill and use women for rituals..
The list is endless....

And they don't see anything wrong in all these because the society has degraded womanhood to what it is today, even women who can not work, who can not think, who refuse to birth the number of children they can comfortably train, who can not love themselves enough, who can not dream and achieve anything without being dependent; have also degraded womanhood..


***
And the cruz of the matter is: WOMAN, are you a slut and a gold-digger? Look at yourself and answer the question....There is always time to turn around and put your life on the right path...And all you need is YOU, your two eyes, your two hands, your two legs and your medulla.


If you are a man reading this and you have abused, or you MAY still abuse a woman in any way...Be it mental, emotional, physical, verbal or sexual.. Please know that the women in this society are what you have made them to be. And when the HEAD is ROTTEN, how can the BODY survive.

And if you are a NIGERIAN MAN who have never abused anyone, talk to the males around you when they do, do NOT hail them or pat them in the back, do NOT watch evil prevail as lives are being trampled upon.
You are SICK and you are an HYPOCRITE if you ABUSE women and you do not see anything wrong with it...

***

My name is Standd, I am a Womanist.
Before you call me names, look yourself in the mirror and know exactly what you are.

I also dedicate this write-up to all the toddlers, girls and women who have been molested, mutilated, abused and killed.
Time will herald peace for us all, and despite all the mire and smears, we will survive and grow and evolve to be the best we can be.
#PEACE

***
As for the HYPOCRITES, can you please talk to yourselves and educate yourselves more, it is not sane to abuse, degrade and still call women names. So, instead of patting yourselves in the back and goofing around while another person gets raped and killed. Pls talk to yourselves, report yourselves to relevant authorities and stay away from women that you consider to be sluts...And STOP spending money on women too if you are going to cry about it, cos if you are not tired of your pathetic tears, I AM!

ABI NA BY FORCE?

Do you know how hard it is to explain to these men why our girl turned out to be like this? Most of them were abused by their fellow men and hence grew up to be ‘sluts!'. Nigerian men have no right to call us sluts, no right whatsoever!

I dunno where all these generalisation comes from that women are sl**s. It's not right. At least ve got frnds and family who are not. It's a way of intimidation which ladies should not subscribe to.

However life is complex: evil men exist as well as evil women. And none is an excuse for the existence of the other.

I hope you know that the legal age of consent in Italy and Spain is 13 years old,and as low as 12 years old in the Netherlands.(Subject to technicalities)
Here in the UK, the legal age is 16.

That effectively counters most of your feminist diatribe against Nigerian men.

That being said, I do believe in equal rights for women. In fact, I'm a feminist. Who likes to sleep with women. And in these days of gender flexibility, I believe that makes me a lesbian. Apropos of nothing.

Nihilist:
I hope you know that the legal age of consent in Italy and Spain is 13 years old,and as low as 12 years old in the Netherlands.(Subject to technicalities)
Here in the UK, the legal age is 16.

That effectively counters most of your feminist diatribe against Nigerian men.

That being said, I do believe in equal rights for women. In fact, I'm a feminist. Who likes to sleep with women. And in these days of gender flexibility, I believe that makes me a lesbian. Apropos of nothing.

I am not in a good mood, sorry.

Cococandy Mollytinrox Freecocoa Cetona Sambarry Aisha2 Jennimma Ghostlady Joecutie Kizmarty Kenwins et al

Kindly share your thoughts.

Insidous:
Do you know how hard it is to explain to these men why our girl turned out to be like this? Most of them were abused by their fellow men and hence grew up to be ‘sluts!'. Nigerian men have no right to call us sluts, no right whatsoever!

life is all about DECISIONS, I'm not supporting the stupidd men but are you saying that one should turn out to be useless or jobless or an armed robber or a prostitutee just because the society pushed them in to it?! what trash, we all are responsible for who we turn out to be hun. what is an engineer, a nurse, a pilot or doctor called? so tell us why a slut shouldn't be addressed as a slut? so that she won't look bad? what's your reasons. can you look at a goat and call it a cow? please GTFOH with that shiit. BTW rip to the lost girl. if one is not a slut or didn't act like one then they're not supposed to be addressed as a slut but if one acts like a slut should I call the person A NUN?!?!? I'll call the person a fykin slut/bitcch/punk/mugu be it male or female

My thoughts on the matter is that as much as we like to focus on the bad , there are also good men out there. So while condemning the bad ones, let's also praise the good ones.

The issue about hypocrisy tire me though.
I can't say it enough. Double standards will make sure we never get anywhere in trying to curb social ills and injustice.

It's also important to note that sluts are not just limited to Nigerian women. The world is full of sluts of all nationalities. That is a fact.
Perhaps Nigerian women could take some comfort from that.
To put in perspective, if you're in the UK, tune to Pick TV right now, and some sluts are naked on TV kissing and discussing their sexuality and kinkiness

Channel 11 on Freeview. The documentary is called 'Laid Bare'

cococandy:
My thoughts on the matter is that as much as we like to focus on the bad , there are also good men out there. So while condemning the bad ones, let's also praise the good ones.

The issue about hypocrisy tire me though.
I can't say it enough. Double standards will make sure we never get anywhere in trying to curb social ills and injustice.

Thank you. Apparently, there are good men out there.
All I ask is that the good ones talk to the MAD ones and then they should also speak out and point fingers at the rapists and killers the same way they call women sluts..

Maybe when these rapists are being called out by the male folks, they will relent.

Nihilist:
It's also important to note that sluts are not just limited to Nigerian women. The world is full of sluts of all nationalities. That is a fact.
Perhaps Nigerian women could take some comfort from that.
To put in perspective, if you're in the UK, tune to Pick TV right now, and some sluts are naked on TV kissing and discussing their sexuality and kinkiness

Channel 11 on Freeview. The documentary is called 'Laid Bare'

I am a Nigerian, I live in Nigeria, the people in UK should take aspirin for their own headache.

standd:


Thank you. Apparently, there are good men out there.
All I ask is that the good ones talk to the MAD ones and then they should also speak out and point fingers at the rapists and killers the same way they call women sluts..

Maybe when these rapists are being called out by the male folks, they will relent.

if it were that simple the world should be a better place
Some need horrible punishment and some deliverance

I under standd were u re literally driving at, and as usual, you weren't biased on your opinions either... This issue has been in existence since the days of our ancestors, and that is why i adore muslims especially those in well developed muslim countries...we christians based on one fact or some quotes in the bible believe that the females are below us and will always be till the end of time, being hypocritically ignorant of the real reason God put it that way.. even most times i dont blame the SLUTS, because once they have been abused they feel like they have nothing to lose henceforth...#penitentiary will always judge every unrepentant hypocritical man out there!!!!!

Deep, very deep!

ArchEnemy:
if it were that simple the world should be a better place
Some need horrible punishment and some deliverance

It is very simple. You hear that a gal is sleeping around and you call her a slut abi? The same way, when you hear that a man has raped or abused a woman, gather around him and shame him, call him 'rapist', let him know his name, report him to the authorities, talk about him.

Leave the girls for a bit and focus on yourselves. That is it.

standd:


I am a Nigerian, I live in Nigeria, the people in UK should take aspirin for their own headache.

Of course, but my point stands, no?
A slut is a slut regardless of Nationality.
I know you've chosen to focus on Nigerian sluts, and the society which chooses to label them as such.
I'm only pointing out the fact that there is a default configuration of woman that is globally recognisable as a slut from Lagos to Accra, and from Sweden to Turkey.
As such, it seems a bit unfair to castigate Nigerian men for acting like their global counterparts in recognising sluts.

Even in Nigeria, slutshaming is not a practice limited to men. As you well know, Nigerian women also refer to their 'sisters' as sluts. Nigerian women are also involved in ritualistic killings of other women. Nigerian women are also capable of physically, emotionally and sexually abusing other women and underage girls.

Standd why so serious na?

Nihilist:


Of course, but my point stands, no?
A slut is a slut regardless of Nationality.
I know you've chosen to focus on Nigerian sluts, and the society which chooses to label them as such.
I'm only pointing out the fact that there is a default configuration of woman that is globally recognisable as a slut from Lagos to Accra, and from Sweden to Turkey.
As such, it seems a bit unfair to castigate Nigerian men for acting like their global counterparts in recognising sluts.

Even in Nigeria, slutshaming is not a practice limited to men. As you well know, Nigerian women also refer to their 'sisters' as sluts. Nigerian women are also involved in ritualistic killings of other women. Nigerian women are also capable of physically, emotionally and sexually abusing other women and underage girls.

Standd why so serious na?

Hmmmmn... I will not reply you today

Standd this is a good write-up you came up with, you've obviously heard it so many times. I am a guy, a man to be precise its time to take serious responsibilities for our actions. Women are not to blame for all they do, they are either lured or deceived to do it tho, they too are also deceivers but why do we just justify a man's barbaric action with mere words and stone a woman who does the same? Its totally uncool. To the women, ladies, girls out their, you too mind yourselves, you won't be asked for something if in one way or the other you don't show interest. Remember you are in a country that those not respect your existence. Our constitution is crappy.

cococandy:
My thoughts on the matter is that as much as we like to focus on the bad , there are also good men out there. So while condemning the bad ones, let's also praise the good ones.

The issue about hypocrisy tire me though.
I can't say it enough. Double standards will make sure we never get anywhere in trying to curb social ills and injustice.

Exquisite

Standd, have you heard of this word- "Misandrist"

The fact remains that not all men.....not all Nigerian men are pedophiles who justify their actions by calling young girls "sluts".

Also, ignore the nihilist. The age of consent across European countries may vary but at the international level with EU law, sex with someone under 18 can put you in prison given certain conditions.

standd:


Thank you. Apparently, there are good men out there.
All I ask is that the good ones talk to the MAD ones and then they should also speak out and point fingers at the rapists and killers the same way they call women sluts..

Maybe when these rapists are being called out by the male folks, they will relent.

Exactly.
It makes their silence look like implied approval.

Passionate, strong worded piece sister.
You delivered, as usual.

The life of the female in this country is at a risk the moment she is born, and I'm facing the women w go keep silent and let it all happen.
I am not a conformer to silly norms, by the way, so I'm one to talk.
A grown man fingers your toddler and you let it slide because you're protecting her reputation. May the life of her reputation never be good. What reputation is to protect when such a girl grows to become someone who accepts abuse?
If your cousin is caught sleeping with your 8 year old daughter, hand him over to the police! What family?
If your husband is abusive whether physically or verbally and all you do is tell us you're staying because of your childrwn, you're picture-perfect for the word slowpoke. Your kids will watch a man abuse you and grow up thinking its alright. The boys will become bullies and the girls will become doormats, but society will praise you for staying in a loveless marriage. Which way ladies?
You see those other species so quick to label everyone of the opposite sex a slut, keep hustling to return to where you came from. At least your mothers did what today's sluts are doing, and if ALL Nigerian women are sluts I don't see how we can singly exonerate your own female relatives. It means every one woman who has walked the surface of Nigeria since a band of black men and women wandered here chanting kumbaya is a slut. No one is exempted, even me. But your mother and her mother before her were more slutty.
Have you ever wondered why girls grow up wanting the bad guys?
Why do you even do it?
Defile a child for what pleasure? How does touching an underdeveloped poosie make you feel? Why so you hate so much what you have created?
I even see some of them here carrying shoulders and making comments on how girls are gold diggers.
You meet a girl and promise her money after shining her Congo, that makes you a saint?
All these Mr. Self Righteous' parading about, nature has found a reward for y'all. It's called Karma.
Since your father and role model, Adam, started the female bashing, none of you has evolved to correct it.
But I tell you, wait for it.
Karma.
With your own eyes you will see, with your owns anuses you will feel what it is like to go through what you put them through.
Keep promoting your gospel of Nigerian women being sluts.
RlP dear girl. You're done with the sadness of this world, the pain and shame. I only hope for you, the death was a quick one. RIP dear girl, for karma doesn't disappoint.

Passionate, strong worded piece sister.
Double post.
Egbon I see you o.Up so early

What are you going to do about it if majority of those affected don't even have access to your educative literature?

cococandy:

Exactly.
It makes their silence look like implied approval.

Silence is subjective.

A man shouting in the middle of a remote forest is silent to the man in the centre of the the village. Should I accuse you of being silent about women who beat their housemaids to death?


Molestation/pe.dophilia is against the law and against most people's sense of morality. It is not that good people are silent. The problem is that Nigeria has not progressed like advance countries in the prosecution of such cases. Also Nigeria lacks the technology and systems to limit such problems.

With internet access, good standards of living, electricity and public service annoucements, our people would be able to record and shame these molesters. Until then............

cococandy:

Exactly.
It makes their silence look like implied approval.

if they talk, the so called alpha males would be on their case like white on rice.

Francis tony is an example.

but you are right. their silence is taken for approval.

Hmmm... Na wa o... Don't even know what to say sef.

But on a serious note... Using double standards in categorization and generalization sucks...

Fortunately /unfortunately enough the women folks haven't been doing themselves a whole lot of good...

A typical example was the post on fp yesterday where a big "area sister" was setting up a girl she ought to be mentoring up to be raped and even aided him in the hotel during the process...

Then the prostitution ring, trafficking etc...

The male folks will like to keep the status quo the way it is....

It's now left for the female folks to change their ways... Their orientation... Raise their voices and say enough is enough...

I am a human being... Dammit...

And fight back till their voices are heard...

God help us all...

AllNaijaBlogger:
Standd, have you heard of this word- "Misandrist"

The fact remains that not all men.....not all Nigerian men are pedophiles who justify their actions by calling young girls "sluts".

Also, ignore the nihilist. The age of consent across European countries may vary but at the international level with EU law, sex with someone under 18 can put you in prison given certain conditions.

I'm sure you can make your 'point' without being offensive.
Especially when your point doesn't actually invalidate mine

Nihilist:

I'm sure you can make your 'point' without being offensive. Especially when your point doesn't actually invalidate mine

He has in no way offended you.

https://www.nairaland.com/2392124/man-sister-arraigned-battery-sodomy


A Nigerian Woman is the co-suspect in this case.

Accusing her sister-in-law of adultery, she held her down, and help shove a beerbottle, and later poured pepper into the victims Vag.
The suspect was aided and abetted by her brother....and her mother

That's slut-shaming, sexual assault and disrespect for women all at the same time....committed by two women

I didn't even have to dig around obscure sources to find this article...it's on the front page on this very site, this very morning. Fresh off the press.

At least one thing is clear from the article though, the female suspects believe in equal rights and opportunity to batter and sexually assault other women. They are the ultimate feminists.

Good morning Standd