Though he usually says he doesn't care about my self esteem but I don't think this has to do with self esteem alone. I think there is more. While we were dating we spoke about my sex life and body nature. It's not like I had too many relationships but I just knew men say my vaginal is kind of lax. Even wen I lost my virginity the guy called me a blunt liar to my face, saying I claimed to be a virgin when I wasn't.

You didn't bleed and getting in wasn't so hard. That is one ruined relationship that would have been awesome. And probably the last man standing. If you be virgin, you go know, if you not, you will know and I KNEW then that I was.

Now my husband knew this about my body and decides to stick with it. Somehow someway which I don't know after my first child, vaginal got tight, second child too same happened. To a certain extent it helped our sex life because it made him love it. And I could tell it's one of the reasons he probably hasn't cheated..

Just 2 days back. We had a little misunderstanding then I mentioned something about sèx. Quote me if am wrong. Sex is meant for bonding between a man and a woman and that's why God instituted it in marriage alone. So you both can get closer, and in my own opinion when there are issues BTW them the power of sex is to make forgiveness easy. The next thing my husband said is. It's not like am enjoying the sex. It's now feels like been in a pool.

OMG I was HURT. I lost the essence of life immediately, lost the essence of marriage. Out of anger I told him only men with big dicks should complain, men with pencils dares nor. That was my only defence because he said it with soooooo much heartlessness. I cried...i cried so much. This man that I have back sex with so that our sex life would be whole. Sometimes I bleed. Then I said to myself it's not worth it. Then I realised, For him if anything goes wrong with me due to that sexual style, Am on my own. Few hours later I sent him a text that I was sorry for everything not because it was easy but two wrongs never ever make a right in marriage. Can't walk away with two kids can only make it work.

Following day wen I saw he was in a good mood. I decided to ask, then he said I was lax and it has made sex unenjoyable. I wondered y he didn't tell me immediately he noticed and why he had to throw it to my face. But what, it's a man's world. If they don't reap their mean ways here on earth. It waits in heaven.

But trust me since then I have been concerned,Google all I could, nothing much. Even the kegel exercise has always been my practice. I now feel this time he might just look outside wen sex gets all pool like. He said he will buy toys, he said he can't pretend to love it wen he doesn't. Which I agree with. But even the toys can it ever be Like d real things. Sometimes he might want to feel the woman and not want toys. What happens next? I can't encourage him to cheat cos if he does and I find out I would leave with my kids. But I don't want him to. Am confused. So so confused. You know wen a man is concerned he will probably do research with you, find out info call doctors, but he didn't, he just broke the news to me and he's like do something about it or I might not be making out with u again. It's really not fair. Cos some men might possibly not go about it that way. But at the same time, it's like that's his nature. I can only Leave with it or take a walk. But take a walk to where, becos am now lax? But I also hear sex in marriage is KEY, with two kids, and I love him, but thatz still not the point. I DON'T know. Please who does? I have smiling all over the house, acting like everything is fine once am alone i cry again, because the fear is, would there ever be a solution , would I still be tight again, and this is a marriage where sex is sometimes 1 in 2 or 3 weeks, so definitely that's not the reason for my laxity, i will be sad if my marriage gets ruined because am lax. I hope my husband reads this thank God he is a nairalander

I can only imagine how hard it must be for you, putting so much effort into saving your marriage and yet have it thrown at your face that your efforts are in futility.

I might be too young and inexperienced to give advice on issues of marriage but hey, throwing it right at you like that at the heat of the arguement shows he's been thinking about it for a very long time, what guarantees do you have his friends haven't been whispering alternatives to him?

Here's me putting myself in your husband's shoe, if i had an idea you have that kind of problem and i'm not comfortable with it, i probably wouldn't marry you, instead of delving into something that desires commitment and mutual friendship, and then turning around, damning all consequences and throwing tantrums at my wife over a problem i was well aware of before marriage.

I aint judging no one. People are different and so are their reasoning...

Does lax means sag? If yes I will advice you try and wash it with alum or go for a surgery since you care so much. But the truth is your husband is already cheating or lusting after a lady, only time will tell.

Which one is make out again?

Oseod is typing........

Orishirishi

Bridgetown:
Does lax means sag? If yes I will advice you try and wash it with alum or go for a surgery since you care so much. But the truth is your husband is already cheating or lusting after a lady, only time will tell.

Am not all that totally expanded, oh well I can't really tell am not the one entering. But I still don't know. I heard alum has its side effects

Or his deek is small

i rushed to comment before i read the story properly

umm your husbands comments where just downright disrespectful...

Its the way your body is its natural and he shouldn't be making you feel this way don't know what to say to make you feel better

tinuolababy:
Which one is make out again?

Small bae like you.. dey tease urself.. makeowt is playing match 0n the bed.. #simpleanology

Hmmmm..... Babe Ur hubby is already cheating on u.

Continue with ur kegel exercise. Do it more frequently. Or u do surgery. Then also do sit bath

Alum is not safe

treese:

Am not all that totally expanded, oh well I can't really tell am not the one entering. But I still don't know. I heard alum has its side effects

The only solution is to overcome the fear of your husband cheating. Because he will definitely cheat to excite himself but if you can live with it and advise him to always use condoms the better for you. I don't think he can divorce you base on that but nagging towards suspicion that he is cheating will cost you your marriage.

I feel your husband pain because I once dated a girl with lax virginal too, i didn't end the relationship but I ran away. There was no friction whatsoever and I felt embarrassed.
Your beloved husband should try and handle the situation with love since you are now the mother of his kids. Sex is not everything in life.

Freemanan:

you're too shocked for words shey

freakthingz:


you're too shocked for words shey

Still shocked...

That yur hubby bad ooo

That ur husband most really be 2baba fan oh...Him talk as him see him no use sugar cover am...Well, U need to see a doctor or a sex therapist to profile solution to ur condition.

Google is ur friend.

DuchessLily:
Hmmmm..... Babe Ur hubby is already cheating on u.

Continue with ur kegel exercise. Do it more frequently. Or u do surgery. Then also do sit bath

Alum is not safe

hmm what an experience

LEvuls:

hmm what an experience

Well.... Sad but some Women experience worse things in marriage

DuchessLily:

Well.... Sad but some Women experience worse things in marriage

yea true same thing while in relationship

Get him drugs that will increase size of his penis now.
and have you both settle you problems on the cheating stuff?
and madam you are at fault.

How do you think the other woman will feel, when she realize your cooking for her husband.
She will give you hell and call you Ashewo.

Op do kegel. I heard it helps.

Wow!!!....speechless

If only she did not had multiple sex partners in her past, these issues wouldn't hav come up.

Even if ur husband coincidentally read this , that won't stop him from feeling the way he feels when he enters you.. Reading this can only make him be compassionate with u but just for a small period of time..
D only solution here is a tight veejay..
I think u need to visit a gynecologist, he/she will be in the best position to proffer a solution.
Because surgery go cost oooo, except if u have the money cha oooo

I feel ur pain sis..


Cc: lalasticlala...

Blackett:
A funky way to say "have sex". Could also be "hook up".

Thanks

NL's blockbuster to drive more traffic! #fabu

this is how pple ruin thier marriages smh. continue o

I understand your pain maam. Everybody has different body make up. Since he was aware of the problem he shouldn't have done that. A more subtle way will help the issue better. You should see a doctor or gynea for consultation and better alternative. Don't listen to all these alum bullshit. Maam, I seriously warn you against the back stuff you allow just to pleasure him.
1. Its a sin even in marriage.
2. The health repercussions are very serious and dangerous. Trust me, only your family will stand by you then that is if they LOVE you. Take note of the capital letter I used in spelling LOVE.
You can make it on your own. The worst mistake you will make is trying to cheat on him or get too close to an ever ready presenting crying shoulder. Especially males. If you cheat and he catches you, it will be to him a confirmation that you have been cheating. He might be cheating on you but hold on. There is light @ the end of the tunnel. It is better to walk away honorably than to be labeled a "cheat". If you succeed, he will come to respect you and see you as his Idol. Trust me, marriage is not a bed of roses. God will see you through.

Bridgetown:


The only solution is to overcome the fear of your husband cheating. Because he will definitely cheat to excite himself but if you can leave with it and advise him to always use condoms the better for you. I don't think he can divorce you base on that but nagging towards suspicion that he is cheating will cost you your marriage.

You just won my admiration bro. Thanks.

Ma'am, your husband might be gay

Hiannn like KanwuliaJara will say "onoda one don come"

Madam op your "husband"obviously has no iota of respect for you whatsoever. This one na emotional/psychological abuse o.my dear I don't have much to say because I'm at loss for words. Infact I've ran out of what to say. Let me call the experts for you

KanwuliaJara come and put mouth o