scantee:


is that you on your profile? menn your not looking bad @ all

jomoh:


While you're at it, make sure you meet a girl. If possible a white chick. Have fun with her and take pics of you together, upload it where she and possibly her friends too can see it.


Thank me later.

donholy28:
It seems most people can't think for themselves these days.

Amhappy:

My humble submission are as follows
1.She is not cheating yet
2. She is more likely to cheat if the long distance relationship continue or even during nysc
3. She may cheat after marriage if you are gone for long(she is not matured and emotionally ready) unless she changes.
4. She is still young and wants to explore
My advice;Inform her that you are going to give her the space she asked for. Reduce communication and see if she will initiate it. Socialize with others but don't date or get intimately involved with anyone. Make out time to see her face to face(after her project)and let her know your marriage timeline(eg 3-6months) to make up her mind. Once the grace is over,find ur way. Lead her to Christ,so if you ve not given your life to Christ,pls do. God is the third person in marriage. Tell her to watch Tyler Perry's Confessions of a marriage counsellor, Not easily broken.
If all these fail,I ve a young,beautiful,responsible, single 042 babe in my office with a heart of gold,contact me if only you are still the same guy after this experience and have not changed for the worse.


connect me in the new generation network. lol...anyway the deed is done,believe me after reading all the comments here, the man in me just awakened, the worst of it all is that this girl is from a particular place in the SE people ran away from when it comes to marriage, my uncle almost gave me a crazy slap the day i informed him i want to marry the girl from that place because i don't believe in the hearsay story, but notwithstanding her attitude will nerve make me believe that everybody from there are the same.

justmenoni:
Op she's seen a better option, don't feel bad about it anf even if she comes back and claim innocent just ignore her..u know why?? what you don't know is better than what you know...she's probably been influenced by peer pressure..find another girl who appreciates you and move ahead but I'm sensing complex issue,do u think she's better than you and op are u educated urself She might hv been using u all this while why waiting till d end time....alot of naija girl are guilty of this act but our sisters from the east are d most common violators..

iamosamede55:
OP na do the girl fine reach? Or do you feel u can't get Anoda girl that Is as beautiful or even more pretty? I'm sensing that u r not sure of your ability of landing a more beautiful girl.

scantee:
what do u mean by wanting to get marry to her severally? I said we agreed to get marry after her school, since are both still young no rushing, as for school fees & hostel whatever that is not a topic bro, i never said i did but if i do is nothing to regret because someting you do out of love is nothing, my major concern here is not about whatever i spent on her, that is nothing...my only problem is that i feel hurt for i so much trust her bro.

pinkycute:
She's confused for real and she don't want to loose you as wel.

But have it in mind, there's this guy out there disturbing her, talking sweet nonsense to her, making her to lost interest in everything and it might affect her final.

@Op, you just have to be the man here, don't call her again, if you've the time, go and see her as a surprise, talk to her and make her understand that she'll be save in your hands this's the time she needs you most

Don't listen to all this NL guys concluding what they don't know. She might still love you, but confused due to pressure concerning some setting things, of which she has already confirmed to you. You know her very well more than we here. And i believe you're not a kid, and you can tell if someone is breaking up with you. So my dear, do the needful and save your relationship

ariyike23:


its not a bad idea,but do not forget that he is also hurting,who will take that pain from him? giving her clear space so she can sort out her feelings is the best option.sometimes,its needful for us to lose some things to be able to realise its value. psychologically,d lady in question cant handle marriage because her emotions are still playing hanky panky with her. dumping her isnt a good idea considering time nd emotions invested,buh wen something isnt working,you cant force it. I went tru dat same phase and i lost someone soo good,he did hurt a lot too and evn had his mum pleading on his behalf but i was still engrossed in the youthful exuberance,its d age,u cant blame her..

xtervaganza:
Niw that I have read your 1st topic about this same lady I believe you're a fool. You're lucky we are not related, I would smack you so hard you'll faint. Are you mad? How did it become so sad for you to the point you're giving a 2nd thought about dumping a cheat? A girl who has been banged endlessly by small boys and you still want to continue with her? You're a fool.


I'm really angry. Where do they make fools like you? This girl is pissing on you man.




Fxck you if you still continue with that wh0re

ariyike23:


lol,yes.. ur heart is feeling beta naw? .

MarieSucre:


OP scantee pls I beg you. Ignore this jomoh fellow's advice infact throw it into a trash can till Jesus comes. You can see that he is also a "white people" worshipper and a bitter man. And I bet he is not even married or in a committed relationship.

Now to your issue.

This is one of the problems of long distance relationships. The physical side. Now I am not talking about sex, but the bonds that are formed with being in close proximity with each other. Its now even made harder with the fact that she is in a youth environment (university). Where all he needs to do is show her some attention and she starts having doubts, meanwhile all she is able to get most of the time from is your voice on the phone. Women like attention. Humans in general like attention. I will liken your situation to a child born into a family where the father is always on transfer or works on an offshore rig. He will bond more with uncles around his compound and in school than the father who is hardly ever around.

Now it is not your fault that you can't be with her as she would like, you guys are in different stages of your life. Marriage MIGHT harmonize that, but that is by the way. I am neither excusing her actions because she is in a committed relationship and if she had any misgivings about the relationship, she should have communicated with you. I am just trying to see her position. Communication, that is what I advice you to do now. Have a heart to heart with her now. Iron these issues. And if you have or can create breaks from works, spend it with her. Let her have your attention and not feel like she can get it from elsewhere.

Finally keep in mind that a lot of the guys on this forum(from their comments) are still in "sampling punanii" and "girls are bitchess" stage. You on the other hand are a responsible man who wants to get married. You can't run away from every problem or treat it like you're a teenager. Because that is what all that "make her jealous crap" is all about. Abi are you in secondary school? So communicate with her and try to make it work, if it doesn't then seek for closure. For both your sake, I hope it works. Goodluck scantee

scantee:
bro i understands u quite alright, my major concern here is that she seem to be confused about what she is doing as if she is under something, she is a different person when we are 2geda, we have issues mostly when she is school.

blessedfavoured:


You are WICKED!
So much emotional manipulation to the point where it's not fair

@scantee She won't learn now. I've seen it happen to too many girls around me. The moment the boyfriend is trying to move the relationship to the next level is the time devil in the form of ex or another random prince charming decides to show up.

Most of them end up dumping the boyfriend for ex or the new guy and they get burnt really badly. That's exactly what your girlfriend is going through.

Just give her space, she'll come back to beg you herself. Trust me.

scantee:
Hello N'landers! Please i am very sorry to come up again with this my fiancee matter again, for those of you who might be familiar with my previous threads https://www.nairaland.com/2666138/want-call-off-marriage..i-feel concerning her attitudes will understand better.

Brief Intro: i met this girl some years back when she was still on 1st Semester 200L in one of the university in SE states, though we met in Lagos...we fell in love <fast forward> i wanted to marry her then but she said i should allow her finish her school before we can officially get married (she was 20yrs then) while i was in my mid 20tez as well, so i decided to wait since i am still young & not in a rush, we are like everything to each other, i introduced her to my entire family members, friends, relatives & work coliquez, i made them understand we would be getting married during or after her final year in school, we are in a distance relationship because my work takes me to places within & outside the country, we only spent time together only during her holidays (i.e after 4 months) practically all her friends knows about me though i never met them in person, we really love each other so much that people believe we are unbreakable...

To shortened the story..we spent time together in Lagos last xmas before she traveled for new year..while i stayed back in Lagos, & we have agreed that we would be getting married this being her final year in school, i noticed that since she left for the new year celebration in her village our communication declined so much, she hardly called or pick my calls, when i complained she attributed that to a bad network in the village where she went to spend some days with her friend that was getting married that last year.

NOW SHE IS BACK TO SCHOOL..the same thing is still happning, she does not give me much attention again, hardly called, if i called she will claim to be so tired having hectic day in school, so i got tired of everyting yesterday when i called her she did'nt pick my call rather she text me that is was very busy & will call me back when she is done, after 2hrs no call back i decided to call her back & her number was busy, after she done making her call she picked my & said she was on call with her sister, i asked what she was doing that kept her busy from 8;30pm -10:30pm she said she was ironing & cooking. I felt unconvinced i asked her are you tired of me? She said yes & laughed, i was shocked, i ask her why, she said she can't even explain it herself, i then ask..

ARE U SEEING SOME ELSE OR HAVING CRUSH ON ANY GUY? She said yes that it started last year, the guy use to come visit her in her hostel, but now she has lost contact with the guy, though nothing has ever happend between them, i felt like i was dreaming because i can swear for this girl that she can never do such...she said though she declined the guys proposal to date him because she does not see the possibility of it happning. Now i fell betrayed after all these years of waiting even when some friends adviced me against it, i have lost the trust in her, right now i feel so hurt, she pleaded that she don't even understand what is happning to her that she is confused, she then said she just feel like being left alone to concentrate in her final year project...

please i feel so sad right now because i put all my egg in one basket in the name of love, my imagination is just going wild about her right now, i have lost apitite for food & loosing concentration, i so much love & trust her. Please how do i overcome this now? help me..

jomoh:



And you expect him to put up with someone that said at some point that she's sleeping in the same room with her friends brother for good two weeks and later she said was in her room with a neighbour at an odd hour. And that is someone who is already in a committed relationship.

So when and if they get married the guy won't be able to travel with a rest of mind because he has a wife that need a lot of attention and if he can't be there to give her, she might go with another person. Suddenly am tempted to say the person behind this moniker will do the same if in that position.

Madam the world doesn't revolve around ladies alone. We men too need attention, a lot of it.

I bet you never read the part where he said he is on leave but his so called girlfriend is nowhere to be found.

Or you expect him to leave his job so that he can give her the full attention she needs.


Sometimes if you don't have better argument to present it is best you ignore rather than come up with trash that portrays you like a LovePeddler.


FYI I've gone through his numerous threads on this same girl from the beginning that is where I formed my opinion but you on the other hand in a bid to impress and look different jumped another persons comment to not only to write trash but also to insult.

What guarantees do we have that you're not an abandoned single mother or someone elses baby mama who has not been able to tie down a real man. We also have a lot of your type on this forum.

I might want to ignore you but for the personal insult and the fact that you made excuse for a cheating lady makes you no better than a call girl. Your type are the reason for the moral decadence in the society.

mysticgal:

What do you mean

boxer022:
What I meant was that he should not have dated a girl who is a student. My reason being that apart from the long distance between them, she may not have the time for him as she will be very busy. Also another reason is that most relationships involving girls entering the university and those in the university end the same way after the boy must have spent a lot her of money training in school.

scantee:
Hello N'landers! Please i am very sorry to come up again with this my fiancee matter again, for those of you who might be familiar with my previous threads https://www.nairaland.com/2666138/want-call-off-marriage..i-feel concerning her attitudes will understand better.

Brief Intro: i met this girl some years back when she was still on 1st Semester 200L in one of the university in SE states, though we met in Lagos...we fell in love <fast forward> i wanted to marry her then but she said i should allow her finish her school before we can officially get married (she was 20yrs then) while i was in my mid 20tez as well, so i decided to wait since i am still young & not in a rush, we are like everything to each other, i introduced her to my entire family members, friends, relatives & work coliquez, i made them understand we would be getting married during or after her final year in school, we are in a distance relationship because my work takes me to places within & outside the country, we only spent time together only during her holidays (i.e after 4 months) practically all her friends knows about me though i never met them in person, we really love each other so much that people believe we are unbreakable...

To shortened the story..we spent time together in Lagos last xmas before she traveled for new year..while i stayed back in Lagos, & we have agreed that we would be getting married this being her final year in school, i noticed that since she left for the new year celebration in her village our communication declined so much, she hardly called or pick my calls, when i complained she attributed that to a bad network in the village where she went to spend some days with her friend that was getting married that last year.

NOW SHE IS BACK TO SCHOOL..the same thing is still happning, she does not give me much attention again, hardly called, if i called she will claim to be so tired having hectic day in school, so i got tired of everyting yesterday when i called her she did'nt pick my call rather she text me that is was very busy & will call me back when she is done, after 2hrs no call back i decided to call her back & her number was busy, after she done making her call she picked my & said she was on call with her sister, i asked what she was doing that kept her busy from 8;30pm -10:30pm she said she was ironing & cooking. I felt unconvinced i asked her are you tired of me? She said yes & laughed, i was shocked, i ask her why, she said she can't even explain it herself, i then ask..

ARE U SEEING SOME ELSE OR HAVING CRUSH ON ANY GUY? She said yes that it started last year, the guy use to come visit her in her hostel, but now she has lost contact with the guy, though nothing has ever happend between them, i felt like i was dreaming because i can swear for this girl that she can never do such...she said though she declined the guys proposal to date him because she does not see the possibility of it happning. Now i fell betrayed after all these years of waiting even when some friends adviced me against it, i have lost the trust in her, right now i feel so hurt, she pleaded that she don't even understand what is happning to her that she is confused, she then said she just feel like being left alone to concentrate in her final year project...

please i feel so sad right now because i put all my egg in one basket in the name of love, my imagination is just going wild about her right now, i have lost apitite for food & loosing concentration, i so much love & trust her. Please how do i overcome this now? help me..