Soon................?

You seem like a nice guy raskasal. I have just one word letgo

Ode!face front...you no dey read ni?

drnoel:


I believe that is what the Op was doing and why she refused to listen anymore. That thing I said about speculation

I have been reading your comment since you started this your advice or such, but the thing is you seem not to get it. Of course am not Mr perfect to warrant correcting her all the time. But then that doesn't mean I'll leave things out hand when errors are made. Over times she correct me as well and I heed to her correction, even more than I do for her. Does that mean she's overbearing? Correcting each other isn't bad in a relationship and the way I do it doesn't make me overbearing. Don't assume what you don't know if you can't get more facts. I kept quiet because I wanted to garner experience and tips from married people. And if you can give that, better not assume what you don't know.

Firstly, I would like to let you know that I have been married for close to a decade now.

Secondly, I will only advice you when I can ascertain that you have escaped to safety from that lady. For now, please keep running...run for your dear life. Life has no duplicate.

Let me know when you are absolutely sure that you are in a very safe distance from her. Please, do not heed any advice aside from the ones that say 'run', for now.

drnoel:

I believe that is what the Op was doing and why she refused to listen anymore. That thing I said about speculation

I have been reading your comment since you started this your advice or such, but the thing is you seem not to get it. Of course am not Mr perfect to warrant correcting her all the time. But then that doesn't mean I'll leave things out hand when errors are made. Over times she correct me as well and I heed to her correction, even more than I do for her. Does that mean she's overbearing? Correcting each other isn't bad in a relationship and the way I do it doesn't make me overbearing. Don't assume what you don't know if you can't get more facts. I kept quiet because I wanted to garner experience and tips from married people. And if you can give that, better not assume what you don't know.

biafraisdead:

Months back I was in a similar relationship before I finally call it a quit(I also intend to keep her as a wife, I have even introduced her to my people). I always apologise to her even while she was at fault and she will never admit been at fault or even say sorry, though she would stupidly tell me at times that her bad side is her being too proud and that she was working on her self to correct it. the day I ended the relationship was a day she insulted me and I just told her I won't call her again but she thought I was joking and since that day(over 7 months now) I haven't called her neither has she called me(because of pride). But I know she is seriously dieing now her problem is for her to call me and say 'I am sorry' she keeps calling me with unknown numbers and each time I pick she would end the call without saying anything but I know she is behind those calls, also she keeps stalking me on LinkedIn, she doesn't know LinkedIn sends u profile of people viewing ur profile. so my brother if u try to change her and she is not changing I would advise u to let her go; imagine what u would go through when u finally marry her, we shouldn't allow love to block our senses at times. any man or woman that can't say sorry is not worthy to be a husband or a wife. By the way where is she from cos we may be talking about the same girl.

The last lines crack me both, you really do relate with OP

[img][/img]Many beautiful women who are aware of their beauty do this. The secret is telling yourself you deserve better. That her attitude is emotional abuse and is very common among many Nigerian women. Until you prove to her that she can go Bleep herself if she doesnt change her attitude, she will ride you like a donkey forever. ive been in your shoes. I know how it feels to love someone who isnt emotionally flexible.

So my best bet, send her packing. And dont be nice about it. If she truly loves you, she will beg and try change. If she doesnt come back, well the lord has shown you your future wife.... not her.

You already know what you deserve. Nobody deserves to be emotionally starved or abused like you have been.

Raskasal:
This post is directed to the matured minds in the house.

I've dated this lady for close to a year now and I have the intention of having her as my wife because of my love for her. She's got good qualities, cooks well, supportive in a little way but temperamental and easily provoked.

But there is this challenge I'm having with her, she puts up surly attitude and would always keep to herself whenever I correct her, and she won't talk to me for as long as we stay together, call or try to get in touch while away. This might last for as many days not until I come out to calm her down. Over times shes been doing this and the only way I've had to let things be normal is for me to talk to her again and beg her not to be angry. But I'm feeling I'm loosing my worth. This is someone that never admits she's at fault, talk less of apologizing. On several note I have had to take blame for her errors even when I'm not at fault just to make sure we're fine.

A recent development was that she came for holiday and was using the rest room within my apartment, I was passing by and asked her to close the door, she murmured, closed the door and she hasn't been talking to me since then and even when I do she'll answer reluctantly for like five days now. I am tired of living under same roof with someone that never feel anything keeping malice and I want her to realize her mistakes and apologize, but she won't, she'll rather stay back in the room, and whenever I go to the room, she be making avoiding moves.

I watched her closely to observe if she's into someone else but I haven't got any traces of that.

I have decided not to call her to terms again not minding if it costs a break up, but then am thinking I might be taking things way far.

Pls How best can I handle this? I really do love her tho and I am afraid of loosing her but I am loosing my worth and this has made her not have regards for me.

Thank you all

I don’t honestly understand the so called the stupid relationship guys are keeping nowadays by living their life to impress all these girls that have nothing to contribute positively. They thinks they are doing you any favor when you guys are dating

ojoj:
My brother, it's natural. She needs a re assurance. Most of us are wired that way. Women are like kids. When you rebuked them, you need to bring them back to reassure them. Even we that have been married for a lot of years, our wives behave that way. Even mine, will pass by you in the house a d tried as much as possible not to let a little part of her body touch you.
Please roll with her since she has scaled about 70% of the qualities you want in a lady. Please manage her. When you rebuked her, bring her back and tell her you love her. With time, she will do it less. It is well.

error marriage is not meant to endure but enjoy this a big red flag any man should run from. i once have a girlfriend very fine one at that with this same nonsense attitude. i was so obsessed about her and have much fear of losing her and things keep falling apart. One day sense fell on me i came out of obsession shell and became free. marrying her with that attitude will be his end, his dignity as man is gone and thrown to the dogs.

Skmoda360:

You fit Bleep girl all day and every days in a week wih quadrillion orgasms she go still fume for you....do you think sex can turn an egomaniac woman to virtuous one?

it gives confidence to tackle her

Elliot2:
Truth is,u haven't bleeped dat biatch to a point her toto hurts. luk bro.,there is just one reason dat a girl wil brazenly disregard u despite dat she knws u luv her very much...dat is a mind blowin sexual prowess. dis can tame d most arogant of dem.

big lie the guys with biggest of the manhood are been cheated
upon by their babes with the rich guys while the rich guys babes
cheat upon them with the guys with big manhood so it is vice versa.

BestDude:
so Na tru fucckk u go get the respect?

yup! it gives u d confidence(ego) to tackle her excesses.a man who got d luv n d gud sex will not allow one bitch disrespect him,n treat him lyk she is managing him.

bejick:

big lie the guys with biggest of the manhood are been cheated upon by their babes with the rich guys while the rich guys babes cheat upon them with the guys with big manhood so it is vice versa.

ok?!

delugajackson:
You are dating a woman with so much ego and such woman will never make a good wife. Truth is, you can never control a woman with so much ego. If she can't apologize for little things, then she has no business being in a relationship. Take my word, she has little or no respect for you. The only reason she is with you up till this moment is because she is gaining from you, once she fulfills her aim of running you down, she will leave your áss for good.

I suggest you look for someone else with better attitude, character and finesse that will make life worth living for you, cause once you marry this particular girl, you will experience x2 of what you're suffering now. She will offer you a lifetime of misery! Who wants a stubborn, nagging, disrespectful woman with an over-bloated ego as a wife?

You need to re-consider this cause it seems you're gradually becoming a victim of emotional deficit. And the hard truth is that you both are not meant for each other.

Guy, you are on point, you spoke my mind. Kudos!

Raskasal:
This post is directed to the matured minds in the house.

I've dated this lady for close to a year now and I have the intention of having her as my wife because of my love for her. She's got good qualities, cooks well, supportive in a little way but temperamental and easily provoked.

But there is this challenge I'm having with her, she puts up surly attitude and would always keep to herself whenever I correct her, and she won't talk to me for as long as we stay together, call or try to get in touch while away. This might last for as many days not until I come out to calm her down. Over times shes been doing this and the only way I've had to let things be normal is for me to talk to her again and beg her not to be angry. But I'm feeling I'm loosing my worth. This is someone that never admits she's at fault, talk less of apologizing. On several note I have had to take blame for her errors even when I'm not at fault just to make sure we're fine.

A recent development was that she came for holiday and was using the rest room within my apartment, I was passing by and asked her to close the door, she murmured, closed the door and she hasn't been talking to me since then and even when I do she'll answer reluctantly for like five days now. I am tired of living under same roof with someone that never feel anything keeping malice and I want her to realize her mistakes and apologize, but she won't, she'll rather stay back in the room, and whenever I go to the room, she be making avoiding moves.

I watched her closely to observe if she's into someone else but I haven't got any traces of that.

I have decided not to call her to terms again not minding if it costs a break up, but then am thinking I might be taking things way far.

Pls How best can I handle this? I really do love her tho and I am afraid of loosing her but I am loosing my worth and this has made her not have regards for me.

Thank you all

This looks very familiar to me. The lady is not mature enough especially emotionally. Don't be a weak Mr. Loverboy wussbag. If you want peace and happiness in life and you believe you deserve to be treated better with respect, from my experience, close your eyes and leave like a man that you are. The greatest mistake you can ever make is to be with a woman out of pity or whatever bond or so-called love you share/d, you'll regret it sorely. You are already going through emotional abuse, if not you won't come here. There are a billion other women out there who will treat you better, too many for you to be locking yourself down on one that is tolerating you but if you don't let one go, another won't come, that's the law of the universe. Thank me later and all the best!

biafraisdead:

Months back I was in a similar relationship before I finally call it a quit(I also intend to keep her as a wife, I have even introduced her to my people). I always apologise to her even while she was at fault and she will never admit been at fault or even say sorry, though she would stupidly tell me at times that her bad side is her being too proud and that she was working on her self to correct it. the day I ended the relationship was a day she insulted me and I just told her I won't call her again but she thought I was joking and since that day(over 7 months now) I haven't called her neither has she called me(because of pride). But I know she is seriously dieing now her problem is for her to call me and say 'I am sorry' she keeps calling me with unknown numbers and each time I pick she would end the call without saying anything but I know she is behind those calls, also she keeps stalking me on LinkedIn, she doesn't know LinkedIn sends u profile of people viewing ur profile. so my brother if u try to change her and she is not changing I would advise u to let her go; imagine what u would go through when u finally marry her, we shouldn't allow love to block our senses at times. any man or woman that can't say sorry is not worthy to be a husband or a wife. By the way where is she from cos we may be talking about the same girl.

Like RKelly and Usher...

LivingFree:
You sound overbearing, is this not an adult who has lived all her life governing herself? How do you come along and start telling her what to do? I think you should let people live their life how they see fit and if you have a problem with the way they're doing things you should recognise that it's your problem and you should reflect on how you can manage it or if it's a deal breaker for you then move on with you're life. Imagine telling someone to close the door when they're using the toilet. It's not everybody that closes the door when they're pissing and they live with their partner. I find it uncomfortable personally so I close my door instead of telling them what to do. You don't sound like a fun person to be around always correcting people upandan like you an eraser. Learn to chill and deal with your control issues.

Hmn hmn, her friend done come. Aunty Thatcher.

LivingFree:
You sound overbearing, is this not an adult who has lived all her life governing herself? How do you come along and start telling her what to do? I think you should let people live their life how they see fit and if you have a problem with the way they're doing things you should recognise that it's your problem and you should reflect on how you can manage it or if it's a deal breaker for you then move on with you're life. Imagine telling someone to close the door when they're using the toilet. It's not everybody that closes the door when they're pissing and they live with their partner. I find it uncomfortable personally so I close my door instead of telling them what to do. You don't sound like a fun person to be around always correcting people upandan like you an eraser. Learn to chill and deal with your control issues.

Is that the only thing you could pick from the write up?

Bolnij2:
I think you know there is no perfect person and even if you dump her there is no guarantee that you will get a perfect woman to replace her. Learn to understand her and what makes her to behave like that. All those asking you to leave her may not be doing you any good. Behave maturely. Women are like babies and you have to pet them. She probably needs your attention. I advise you drop your pride as a man if you want to enjoy peace in your home.

What attention does he needs to show her again Mr/Ms with all signs clearly written on the wall?
Those attitudes are a no no no for any sane person to tolerate, be it man or woman. Someone that cant say sorry, dont take to correction and then keeps malice?
You will do well to go for her then by collecting her details from the op if you so desire.
Go back and read a true life advice of a 51-year old man in page 4 or 5 of this thread.

delugajackson:
You are dating a woman with so much ego and such woman will never make a good wife. Truth is, you can never control a woman with so much ego. If she can't apologize for little things, then she has no business being in a relationship. Take my word, she has little or no respect for you. The only reason she is with you up till this moment is because she is gaining from you, once she fulfills her aim of running you down, she will leave your áss for good.

I suggest you look for someone else with better attitude, character and finesse that will make life worth living for you, cause once you marry this particular girl, you will experience x2 of what you're suffering now. She will offer you a lifetime of misery! Who wants a stubborn, nagging, disrespectful woman with an over-bloated ego as a wife?

You need to re-consider this cause it seems you're gradually becoming a victim of emotional deficit. And the hard truth is that you both are not meant for each other.

I can't agree less

Raskasal:
This post is directed to the matured minds in the house.

I've dated this lady for close to a year now and I have the intention of having her as my wife because of my love for her. She's got good qualities, cooks well, supportive in a little way but temperamental and easily provoked.

But there is this challenge I'm having with her, she puts up surly attitude and would always keep to herself whenever I correct her, and she won't talk to me for as long as we stay together, call or try to get in touch while away. This might last for as many days not until I come out to calm her down. Over times shes been doing this and the only way I've had to let things be normal is for me to talk to her again and beg her not to be angry. But I'm feeling I'm loosing my worth. This is someone that never admits she's at fault, talk less of apologizing. On several note I have had to take blame for her errors even when I'm not at fault just to make sure we're fine.

A recent development was that she came for holiday and was using the rest room within my apartment, I was passing by and asked her to close the door, she murmured, closed the door and she hasn't been talking to me since then and even when I do she'll answer reluctantly for like five days now. I am tired of living under same roof with someone that never feel anything keeping malice and I want her to realize her mistakes and apologize, but she won't, she'll rather stay back in the room, and whenever I go to the room, she be making avoiding moves.

I watched her closely to observe if she's into someone else but I haven't got any traces of that.

I have decided not to call her to terms again not minding if it costs a break up, but then am thinking I might be taking things way far.

Pls How best can I handle this? I really do love her tho and I am afraid of loosing her but I am loosing my worth and this has made her not have regards for me.

Thank you all

My brother, the earlier you end the relationship the better for your life because its obvious the lady ain't wife material and she doesn't deserved you, go look for decent girl that will love, cherish and respect you.

Elliot2:
yup! it gives u d confidence(ego) to tackle her excesses.a man who got d luv n d gud sex will not allow one bitch disrespect him,n treat him lyk she is managing him.

lol... This guy. I know the kind of people you hang out with. One day you will learn a bitter lesson!

Please I hardly comment on topics here but this I must advice you not to marry such a woman like this cos if she act like this when she's unmarried, hmm when you get married to her is pure hell at home..
Such kind of woman makes a man violent..
Woman are supposed to be submissive and listening n understandable to her partner...

[b][/b] never marry any woman you can't control.

[
I know you have read so many suggestions now and your head probably bursting. A stitch in time saves nine o...

I have an uncle we work in same office, he would come to office 7am leave office 9pm every day, he doesn't smoke, drink nor womanisel why? Initially other staff would question me why my uncle stay late at work that I should talk to him. Meanwhile, I know d reason but I couldn't tell them cause I lived with him before I got married. He married the wrong woman. When you close from work and u av a woman at home but no eagerness to quickly go see her, that kinda feeling of trouble dey house if I go quick, are signs that things are not well at home in the marriage. To avert such words "If I had
Known". So my candid advice stay away from her. There are multiple better females than her.

Pataricatering:
Who made you her father that you will be “ correcting” her ? Is she your student ? How would she not have a bad attitude when your house is a “ correctional home “ for juvenile delinquents! You think you will be telling an adult what to do and she will like it ? Obviously your attitude to your relationship is wrong ! This is not your fathers generation where they used to “ correct “ their wives like 5 year olds ! Of course you can dump her but I seriously doubt you are going to find any girl nowadays that likes being “ corrected “ ! Otherwise you can work on your communication and learn to deal with her as an equal !

But without been my mother she can correct me abiii. You're getting it wrong. The moment we feel we have it all, we start getting it wrong. That's why we should be for each other. As an adult, she do corrects me as well without me putting up any attitude

cityabbey01:
[
I know you have read so many suggestions now and your head probably bursting. A stitch in time saves nine o...

I have an uncle we work in same office, he would come to office 7am leave office 9pm every day, he doesn't smoke, drink nor womanisel why? Initially other staff would question me why my uncle stay late at work that I should talk to him. Meanwhile, I know d reason but I couldn't tell them cause I lived with him before I got married. He married the wrong woman. When you close from work and u av a woman at home but no eagerness to quickly go see her, that kinda feeling of trouble dey house if I go quick, are signs that things are not well at home in the marriage. To avert such words "If I had
Known". So my candid advice stay away from her. There are multiple better females than her.

Thanks for the tips. Appreciate your rich experience

Bro i can relate and feel your pains. is she from the heady tribe- i mean Ondo and Ekiti if she is from those tribe, na their way oo. they are so heady and full of themselves even when they don't have nothing. i am currently going through thesame drama with my wife and it's not the first time. we have been at this since sunday and still on. we ignored each other right under thesame roof and i have stop eating her food since the same sunday when it all started. and guess what happened that led to all this, i inquire to know how come the money we have in our business account and the one we have in the safe has gone so down. i reminded her that the agreement was for her to give me daily updates on any money that leaves and enters the account and safe daily, but she doesn't. i have deceided not to beg her nor settle things i don't even care anymore sef.

Raskasal:
This post is directed to the matured minds in the house.

I've dated this lady for close to a year now and I have the intention of having her as my wife because of my love for her. She's got good qualities, cooks well, supportive in a little way but temperamental and easily provoked.

But there is this challenge I'm having with her, she puts up surly attitude and would always keep to herself whenever I correct her, and she won't talk to me for as long as we stay together, call or try to get in touch while away. This might last for as many days not until I come out to calm her down. Over times shes been doing this and the only way I've had to let things be normal is for me to talk to her again and beg her not to be angry. But I'm feeling I'm loosing my worth. This is someone that never admits she's at fault, talk less of apologizing. On several note I have had to take blame for her errors even when I'm not at fault just to make sure we're fine.

A recent development was that she came for holiday and was using the rest room within my apartment, I was passing by and asked her to close the door, she murmured, closed the door and she hasn't been talking to me since then and even when I do she'll answer reluctantly for like five days now. I am tired of living under same roof with someone that never feel anything keeping malice and I want her to realize her mistakes and apologize, but she won't, she'll rather stay back in the room, and whenever I go to the room, she be making avoiding moves.

I watched her closely to observe if she's into someone else but I haven't got any traces of that.

I have decided not to call her to terms again not minding if it costs a break up, but then am thinking I might be taking things way far.

Pls How best can I handle this? I really do love her tho and I am afraid of loosing her but I am loosing my worth and this has made her not have regards for me.

Thank you all

jaxxy:


She has ur MUMU button and she doing rite now is manipulating u and yes ure lossing ur value and self worth fast. To break the cycle u have to do wat u wud normally not do bt this will be quite hard becos uve already let her control ur head and she sees she can control u quite well. U must do smtn totally different and unpredictable in ur actions. U might even have to be a little bit mean to her cos rite now she sees u as soft and naive. I will direct u smtn sm1 placed on NL dat might help u. Buzz me if u need it.

I'm all ears. You can drop it here

Raskasal:


I'm all ears. You can drop it here

Read ilegend's post on this page
https://www.nairaland.com/4601407/how-control-boyfriends-temper/2#69148130

doskie:
its called emotional blackmail. browse and read about it. you are a victim of emotional blackmail. sometimes we often spoil and pamper our companions into this bad habit by not making them know from the onset that we will not be blackmailed emotionally. its a mind game. you cannot spend the rest of your life with her. i was once in your shoes, i called the girl and told her i want out. i explained to her that its not in my character to double date, else i would have done that, so to be honest, i want to be with someone who is human enough to feel guilty and feel disturbed when things are going wrong between us, you SHOULD NOT ! I REPEAT !!! YOU SHOULD NOT ALLOW YOUR HEART DECEIVE YOU INTO THINKING AN EMOTIONAL BULLY WILL CHANGE !!! You will always be her victim, and some are psychopaths, if eventually you stay long enough in keeping a grudge with her, she may increase the extent of her evil by attacking you one day with a broken bottle, taking solace in cheating on you thinking shes having her pound of flesh, or employing whatever machination necessary to keep you within her powers and manage all your affairs in her own liking. the world is full of beautiful, nice and submissive women. go for one

Thanks man. I learnt from this piece

I dis agree with this one bro. even the scriptures makes us know that God hates pride. Again as we all know pride goeth before a fall. If i continue to apologies every time there's an issue and s/he doesn't won't i get tired and just dey look him/her?

MWTH:
THERE IS NO PERFECT WOMAN OR A MAN ELSEWHERE

Speaking from experience too, I would strongly advise that you keep to the relationship. Just ensure, you try as much as you can to always let her know your dislikes.

You should also understand that most ladies today do not have the character of our mothers. Education and exposure has changed a lot of things with our girls.
Men are no longer their small gods like it used to be with our aged parents.
Most ladies today don't believe in marriage as an important achievement in life.
They also know that, they can fend for themselves even without a permanent male folk (Husband). This is not far-fetched from the fact that, one woman will always be chased by a thousand men with luxuries. Not because they want to settle down with her, but for the fun (sex).

If you've found a woman who has all the good qualities except for her ego, please hold her tight. She's still a child.

By the time she starts giving birth, those things will vanish. If it doesn't, of course your tenderness towards her now, will definitely change when kids begin to come between both of you, because your love will be more on the kids and she would have to adjust.

And of course, once family is involved, her attitude will change as well.

My final dose......

Do your best, and keep her for tomorrow. She's a GOOD WOMAN & A WIFE TO BE.

But don't let her give you hypertension sha.