ubong560: Looks like a typical Nigerian Mum. Am i lying? All d young mothers in d house, defend urself here. lols.

Mtcheeewww, comot jooor, where would you find this kind of story in naija? infact not even worth replying to sef

Wow, double wow, no triple wow!
100 likes

Real pity1 if he had stayed back in naija maybe just maybe he would still be alive even if he went hungry now and then. Pity the kid and his family

What could be on her mind when barely 5 weeks before she was delivering that baby? even if it was under total aneastetics she couldnt have 4gotten so soon that life changing procedure called childbirth. She must have been under something STRONG or total lose of mind.

That child should be given out to someone who would value it.

Please can someone direct me to where I can buy hydrated lime for water treatment?

Vikin:



You guys are making me scared o, just to think that i have passed a phase, more difficult ones keep coming.

I miss my single life o. Chai!

Come on gal, u are more than able to cope. Chin up, u come fully equipped to cope. You will see, u will soon be advising d younger generations and be nodding ya head with d wisdom of experience. I shall pm u someday soon with some vital 1st birth advice.

I remembered an article/post in which a mom( I think?) gave this very detailed intimacy resumption plan which I did not fully agree with but I do admit had a few merits:

http://www.nigerianparentsforum.com/index.php/topic,154.0.html under the category child delivery and resuming sexual intimacy.

We must take care of our bodies o! if e spoil now the men would just dreeesssss out and look elsewhere for 'greener pastures'.

Matter of fact, I think our parents had more sense than their 'modern'offspring! call me old fashioned but I firmly believe all amorous gestures should be held back till at least 6 weeks. A woman's body goes through a major ordeal during delivery so she should take time off to heal and recuperate abegi!

I served as a corper 23 years ago and my memory is mostly of the intense heat from a sunny dry weather and no fresh fruit. The sandstorm is gruesome too. So for all who are awwwiing and ooohing for the 'sweet'roads be armed with umbrellas and plenty plenty coolers if you are think of visiting ka ji kwo?

enaye1:

Its true that the older a parent gets the less the starch in child discipline so I can empathize with your older kid.

On how to handle a tantrum, I recently browsed this parenting site and it has excellent solutions:
http://www.nigerianparentsforum.com/index.php/topic,155.0.html on
Nigerian Parents Forum » Child psychology and welfare » Boosting your child’s self-esteem » TEMPER THAT TANTRUM

All the best!

Yep went to your link and while I agree with most of they said, some of the stuff is not practicable.

kulyie: Most of the times,my neighbour left her kids with me when she was goin to work some years ago and when i go to the shopping mall,i take them along and they point at choclates,buiscuits and sweets to buy for them,they were 4 and 3 years old and i told them i didnt have the money and the 4 year old boy removed his canvass and threw it on me and said he will not leave the mall unless i pay for the choclates,of course i didnt waste any time snatching the choclates from him returning it and giving him hard beating with my palms.i have noticed that if you keep buying everything you want for kids,they always assume that yelling,shouting,crying and throwing tantrums will do the trick,however if i have the money i buy and if i dont,then i dont,i tell them that its not everything the eyes see that must be bought even if you have the money.if you as a parent dont curb this wild attitude from them,if you dont give them money to buy it,its either they will steal or beg strangers to buy it for them and if you dont eliminate it and such attitude grows with them,when they are in their early teens,if she is a female,she may start invoving herself in promiscous behaviour to buy things you refused to buy for her.all this over indulgence of kids are part of the reasons we have insolent,indulgent and wild adolescent and teens out there

I totally agree with you . Know what? kids are very smart, they respond in like manner to the kind of treatment they receive. When they see a firm hold, they fall in line. Start early even when they are been breast fed and they will behave.

@poster, no mind those stuck up adults who pretend that they have never handled such esp. in public. stick to your guns and dont cave in to pressure jare!

Siena:

Are there female sons bro? As far as I can tell, all sons are male.

Ok so u got d poster there oya lets hear ur suggestion

When he is old enough to notice you are 'different'from him and he gets uncomfortable. For most boys by age 3 to 4 they have reached that mark.

My cousin was given a tetanus toxoid shot during her 1st pregnancy and almost developed an abscess from the injection site. 4 yrs later now she is pregnant and is dreading being given another one. The question is this; is it really necessary for her to take it? especially since her 'risk' chance of getting tetanus is low?

MTN the rip off! nothin spoil, I shall just and immediately move off to the next pocket friendly network. Thank God for competition!

Efemena_xy:

It's relative and depends on the parents outlook on life.

Some won't do it for religious purposes. Some who've been searching for the fruit of the womb for years, and I mean really searching, would see it as a blessing and keep the child.

It also depends on the level of disability the child would be born with. It's such a wide spectrum that generalizing the issue and conforming it to a simple "yes" or "no" answer is not adequate. Having said that, I remember seeing a gentleman with Down's Syndrome employed by a university as one of their Technical IT support staff.

So it does depend on a lot of factors, such as where you are, the available facilities to support the child from birth, through schooling and onto it's adult years, job opportunities and most importantly, the emotional strength and commitment of the parents.

You hit the nail on the head here, in our naija society, we simply dont have any support, be it financial, emotional or otherwise for such and it defintely creates a hugh burden on the family sadly enough especially with the social stigma of the uninformed(which makes up for a large group here)

The society has become materialistic and what the young chics are doing is just a reflection of our shameful or shall I say shameless society. No dignity to womanhood.Its a real pity to hear about how the young girls are lured by the rich sugar daddies (in those days, it was a shameful thing to have a sugar daddy) and yet these same dirty old men expect their sons to marry 'good'girls.

The health hazards and truama of birthing an abnormal child is beginning to make an entrance to our society as I see more and more of kids with congenital ailments being born. Maybe I have not been too observant before now but it seems the incidence of abnormality is on the increase. That brings the topic or issue of how our society sees the issue of termination of so called high risk pregnancy especially if the baby will be born malformed.
This is the question? if your doctor tells you the baby you are carrying is likely to be malformed at say age 8weeks of the preggie, would you abort it?

How about the men? People dont talk about the 'right age'for men because we all assume simply because they continue to procreate till old age that there is no right age abi? well here is the news! old men should NOT sire kids after a certain age because they stand the risk of fathering malformed and retarded kids! we should remind the menfolk too of the 'biological clock'.

I feel so outraged! and wish he had his thing crushed and put behind bars for the rest of his misearable life. Well a lesson to all parents to be very careful and observant to the needs of our children.

Hmm the issue of how prepared a child is for school is important. Some early starters have so much of school before they are ready that they are burnt out by the time they are really ready for serious schooling. Parents beware of this. On the other hand some kids are just too ready to start schooling you cant keep them off. Those ones fare better. So each child should dictate the pace.

Akinagirl: Not everyone needs to be a parent and not everyone can be a good parent. I have one child and I dont want more because I find I dont have the patience. Love my son to pieces though.

Hey loving your offspring is the best or most important thing about parenting dear girl! imagine if you didnt have your son, how empty your nest would feel.
Yes parenting comes with a price but I believe it is well worth it in the end. Parenting isnt only when you biologically birth a child anyway, raising kids is also part of it.

yeah, big stomach =pregnancy, most Nigerian senior girls are pregnant abi? So true, at least pregnant with fat and food,lol

Busy_body:


How dare you call a whole picture of er,  er, me iyalode multiplied by ten b.o.o.b.s, nonsense and jagbajantis



[s]I have always been and will always be a good girl, i have never been banned, and not about to start now So pls tell me cos i don't wanna get banned, is it a crime to post other people's pics on one's profile on Nairaland And for that to be my blood sister, my Mum must have cheated on my Dad with a orangutan to give birth to me I am telling my Dad,my Mum is sooooo in trouble[/s]


No wonder she dey always sing "monkey e no fine, but hin mama like am" to rock me to sleep as a baby

hey I no fit laff again. Abeg make I comot from this land before I reach ER Iyalode, u fine full ground abeg

Come now ladies! lol Jenny and Busybdy, am in stitches here! haba! know what Jenny? your comments drew my attention to the pix. Wldnt have looked but for your posts

Congrats mom-to-be, like others have said, I hope you have told your hubby by now. I remember rushing off to inform mine when I conceived my daughter,(I already had 2 boys but had to wait 5 yrs before her pregnancy) he was still in the bath when I barged holding out the test strip like a trophy!lol. Couldnt even wait till he finished his bath

Now(rubbing my hands together briskly) time for the real showtime: expect alot of changes, roller coaster infact to your body and life; you are responsibly for that little precious life and I assure you, you will never be thesame again. But no matter what, I assure you, having a baby is a beautiful experience every woman should have. It is defintely worthwhile. Yields great dividends I tell you.

Find out some more tips and info here on this life changing exciting trip:

http://www.nigerianparentsforum.com/index.php/board,14.0.html

I am still wondering who foots the bill of the 65 tonne cake at the end of the day. Who approved the contract? whose opinion was consulted? is it the choice of the masses?

otokx:

This story is suspect.

Exactly my point too. Doesn't ring true. so so stupid. Both for the guy and the girl in question. Any man that requests talk less of demands a fertility test before marriage isn't worth anything and I tell all women not to sell themselves cheap. Its an indication of what kind of marriage they are about to enter into. They will NEVER get any respect for who they are in themselves.

It all depends on what you want outta marriage. The outcome could be diverse, some good, some bad so people should just weigh the consequences before taking a leap. That you both come from thesame race doesn't guarantee a successful marriage anyway. Think of the effect on the offspring. In short count the cost!

~Sissy~:


you will be very much surprised at the number of young people who are very ignorant about consequences of sex. so, even though, with the way sex is everywhere we'd like to believe that at least these kids have or have had enough infos on sex thats hardly the case. so, i believe that we still have tons of them out there.

yes abstinence is the best protection but at some point i humbly think we need to realistic. i rather have an informed teen who knows that she has options when it to comes to sex. at least if and when she does decide to have intimacy, she will educated enough to rightly protect herself and spare me early entrance into grandmotherhood and save herself from the consequence of all things undesirable about sex than for her to be rather clueless, make the worst possible mistake,and hide it from me when she does have intimacy.

i guess what most people get wrong about sex ed is that they tend to believe that teaching kids about sex will encourage them to be sexually active. big lie. in many cases, teens who received abst.  sex ed were more likely than their counterpart to get pregnant. so, inasmuch as we'd love to have our kids be vrigins till their wedding night, we do also have to come to terms with the fact that those are just wishful thinkings in many cases

yes absti. programs does work for some if not many, likewise the other sex ed also protects them from pre-martial sex.

abstinence or not, kids will have eventually have intimacy if and when they want to. its eventually their choice because as parents one can only do their best. i like giving them the BOTH options and not just one sided part.

Sissy I do agree with you that they may still be some teenagers who may not know much abt sex and I am of the view that they should be taught the basics and its results like any biology class would but the tilt or emphasis should be on the possibility and the normalcy of abstinence in present day life. Most of our youth ARE driven into sex purely by peer pressure because they feel and are told by adults and peers that it it normal and expected of them to practice sex 'play'. Nothing wrong with giving candid information abt sex ed but the principles being taught along side it is the issue to be addressed. When a girl is told that, ok, when you play sex its ok and normal but to avoid getting pregnant, use pills or insist on condoms, its WRONG. I would rather tell MY daughter, dont cheapen yourself by having sex without commitment (marriage), you can do it! and besides, playing that way can result in pregnancy and ruin your life. When we protect them from stds and pregnancy, do we protect them from the hurt and complex premarital induced sex places on their mind? Many women are scarred by feelings inflicted on them by peer pressured sex. I know quite a handful of young beautiful and healthy people(male and female) who have planned and are following through to waiting till they get married before sex. Its not so difficult or scarce to find these kind. Its all abt choice

~Sissy~:


IMO,the idea of sex ed,is let young people know that they have options when it comes to protection and their choices. its better people know the consequences of their actions and choose to indulge in it than to be ignorance of it and bear the unknown consequences

I doubt very much if there are any 'ignorant' kids anymore concerning the consequences of indulging in sex. Just like the adults in our society everybody knows the consequences but choose to ignore it till its too late. I think kids should be encouraged to practice abstinence in the sex ed, let them know it IS possible and not to be cajoled into thinking there is something wrong with them if they want to abstain by their peers or adults for that matter!
I would love a situation where role models who have practiced abstinence can be present when teaching sex ed to these young ones so they see it as an option too. The advantages of it should be emphasised over and above the other choices after all, its the only fool proof option against stds and pregnancy.

Dear lady, think deep and long. Listen to your inner self and gut feeling. You cant really rely on a virtual relationship though ie via email or internet to marry. The internet only provides you with what the person wants you to know about him. His 'story' doesnt ring true to me. There is more to it than meets the eye. Get closer to your creator(no matter what church) and listen to the inner voice.

Wishing you the best.

How's the brilliant 2 yr old genius doing btw?