₦airaland Forum

ravensckar:
I don't know who you are, but I pray that the Most High will bless you abundantly for this. What most men fail to realize is that the moment a woman too start bringing home money, things will turn chaotic in that house. Let me use myself as an example. My first two years of marriage was the most peaceful and enjoyable. You know why? My wife wasn't working then. She looks after our child, takes care of the house, cook me good meals such that I started getting fat. Whenever I'm out for work, I always feel like going home to meet my sweet and loving wife. Everything was going peacefully until boom....


I used my own hand find trouble. I helped her get a job. She started with 60K salary, then, things started to change. After a short while, she decided to go into trading. After gathering my savings and obtaining a loan at my place of work. She started something. That was when the 'devil' in her show face.

She started disrespecting me, now, if I talk one, she'll talk five. It got so worse that she comes home around past 10 and you know what that means; no delicious dinner, no hot sex, no conversation or lovey lovey talk because she's very tired. Things got so worse that she doesn't even have time for her kid. She sometimes send the poor child to child on bike without even accompanying her.


We don quarrel tire. Papa talk, mama put mouth, relative settle quarrel, all to no avail. Now, I've applied the greatest gift of all; patience. I no longer let her actions bother me again. Need I even tell you that she doesn't contribute 'shishi' to the running of the house? Yes, you heard me clearly.


Why am I typing this? It's so those of you who are about to get married know the implication of your choice. A woman who does petty trading may not assist you financially, but she'll give you that peace of mind and make the marriage enjoyable. A woman who makes as much as you earn may not afford you that luxury of a peaceful marriage, but one way or the other, she'll assist you financially in running the house. Please and please, let nobody tell me that there's any woman who can contribute financially and still give her best in the marriage. I'm yet to find one.


PS- having accepted my cross, I resorted to giving myself peace through my watching movies, playing playstation, hanging out with my gees and focusing on my job. One woman no fit scatter my head o jere.

A few things:

1) You sound needy AF.
Why were you not doing all those emboldened things before?
In the life of a busy couple, there is something called date night, where you both make plans to spend extended time together.
Personally, I enjoy my alone time as much as the time I would spend with whoever I'm with. Everyone needs hobbies. You can't expect another grown ass human being to be at your 24/7 beck and call for entertainment.

2) Also, what's stopping you from cooking or prepping small chops for your babe who had to work late? Sounds like you still expect her to do everything in the house while also doing whatever she is doing. It is possible she does not contribute finance because this is still your expectation.

3) Housework counts as exercise, which you should be doing anyway especially the older you get. No be only inside gym.

4) This your whole matter could have been avoided if you DID take my advice. Because then you would have known to TEST her ability to contribute without being an idiot prior to you marrying her.


In short, na you do yourself.

candelahria:
If you want a woman to contribute equally financially in a home,just be ready to cook and clean like she does and[b] sacrifice your headship over the home[/b].Period.When a man loses his job,his working class wife shouldn't treat him like crap but he should know that he should do more chores than he used to.That's common sense.

It is not only some naija men who think backwards.
Obviously a lot of naija women think backwards as well. Yourself included.

Again, Nigerians don't know the first thing of what democracy means.
The only format of leadership your ilk understand is autocracy and oppression.

That is why a full grown woman will be beating 7 year old housegirl to near death...because you are the "head" of the housegirl.
That is why your politicians would rather DIE than help the people, whom they are supposed to be leading, rise and prosper....because they are the "head" of the people and must always be seen as such.

I pity your type.

Tell me, why equate "the head" to "not serving the family?".
Whether or not the people you lead make money has nothing to do with anything.
It is not demeaning as a true leader to serve the people you lead, and the people you lead can even make more money than you.
Upgrade your minds please and save that country!

The president of the United states only makes $400k per year and he leads billionaires and "peasants" just the same.
He/She does not feel any sort of way because he/she is not the richest person in the country.
Unfortunately, nigerian leaders don't think that way. They feel they must be "the head" in that section too, according to your definition.
You people love totalistic oppression. It is your way of life.

yeyeosoronga:
I hope while she is also bringing in the money, you're also pulling your weight with childcare and house chores.
It will be wicked of you to expect her to come back home from work everyday, and start cooking, washing and doing all sorts.
If you want things to work out well, get ready to also pick your kids from school, do homework, look after them while mum is at work on days you're free.
You should also be ready to get dinner ready for your wife on certain days of the week, and handle the washing when it's your turn.

That been said, I am all for women working and getting to the height of their endeavours. I believe real empowerment comes when you're able to take care of the financial needs of yourself and family. You learn to appreciate every dime, and you actually plan well around money.
Marriage is always teamwork anyway.

Of course!

I will also play football with my children.
A father's bond with his children has never been more important in these crazy days.

I will also wash my wife's clothes just as she washes mine.
I don't know what some of you are feeling like when you try to make such sound demeaning.
That's your wife.

Also the housework thing some housewives complain about it not hard.
We've been doing it as bachelors/spinsters WHILE also working.
It's certainly not like back in the day. We have all sorts of machines that automate these things, washing machine, dish washer, robot vaccuum/mop, etc with even MORE automations coming on the way.
Whatever remains, you leave it till tomorrow.

Women who cry about housework are just lazy.

tunjilana:
I agree to an extent...I always say men should test a woman's attitude towards her own money before deciding to marrying her....Cos assuming you will always have more than her is foolishness....It is a 40+ years journey and u ain't God...she can overtake u...If all u have as joker is your financial power then na sorry be your name....A woman earning and having good character....is not mutually exclusive. Find you a woman that has both, not one whose "good character" is based on the fact she depends on you.

So which part do you disagree with?

Juliearth:
I totally agree with the op. Nonetheless, this post reeks of double standards. Let's analyse this with the first two paragraph of your analogy, labelled 1 and 2.
1. So its right for a man to assess a woman's prospects and shoot his shot based on that, but women should not be allowed to assess a man's potentials too, right? Quite a hand full of women have been bashed on here due to the aforementioned factor.


2. Why would you want a house wife? Ofcourse, no one would want that, but a woman should not be crucified for not wanting a "house husband"too.

These are strawman arguments that have nothing to do with the post or even me.

1) I personally have never said women should not analyze men for potentials. Quite the contrary really. Maybe refer that to the guys who say such things. All I will and ever say is, she needs to remove the log of brokeness in her own eye before trying to laugh at the speck in the guys eye.

2) A man who has no vision or ambition is worse than an slowpoke. That goes without saying.

babakb:
Them no born her well, I will divorce her asss

AAH broda mi.
Divorce is the source of the man's fear when having such a wife in the west.

Because not only would she have brought no assets into the union, upon divorce, she then gets HALF OR MORE of everything you own.
Most times You would still be paying for the house, but you can't live in it. You will go and live in someone's basement or boys quarters while paying for your mansion.

If you have children, and custody is given to her (most likely as she was the only one who stayed home with the kids), then you pay her child support. IF the marriage was long enough, add alimony to that. You can forget about the house, that's hers now. You will ofcourse keep paying the mortgage, and she will keep bringing boyfriends to fvck in the house you are paying for but cannot enter.

Mind you, none of this changes even if you chose to divorce her because you caught her cheating.
Unless you signed a prenup penalizing infidelity before marriage, the State will not automatically penalize her for that.

Also if she is broke, you would be paying for not just yours, but her divorce lawyer as well...and those guys are crooks.
These are the powers granted to women by the State here.
There is a phrase here.... "It's cheaper to keep her".

To summarize man, in the west, even divorce (God forbid) is far bearable if the woman came in with assets and/or earns her own money. Because at least then, the thing can even begin to be fair. That's why a lot of Nigerian men who have been fvcked raw like this just shoot their imported wives here. I understand them completely when that happens lol.

That is why Naija is still the best place to live as a man. We need to get the country working and stop fucking it up by voting foolishly.

bukatyne:
100%

Notice how most of the countries that try to put "Democratic" in their full name are usually the most autocratic folks?
Besides Naija there is also DPRK aka North Korea.

It's like a joke.
I bet they were laughing when they named their countries.

DexterousOne:
Bwahahahahahahahahahaha




That made me laugh


Which power woman get for those western countries sef?

In the real sense of it, that is no power whatsoever o.
It's the illusion of power.

But I get your point

Na the State dey give them the power illusion.
You know everything in the sandbox of civilization is fake, made-up rules.
The rules they have made up for themselves is that any crazy woman you live with can just call up police to come and pick you up from your mansion and make you spend the night in jail...just by her word. No verification of facts. Men in naija cannot fathom this, and that is why some of their marriages fail when they come out to these parts after their wife open eye.

If that's the power she has, then she needs to be bringing money to match. Also fawk Bride price and marriage list.

cococandy:
How many men can truly afford to provide? 100% provision including wants not just needs?
It goes without saying that they will look for someone who can make money too. As they have been doing for ages and more so in recent times.
It’s not a bad thing. I recommend it too.

LOL sis, you should go to the romance thread and see how some naija men are vehemently against this.
They feel that your ilk will become demons upon any kind of earning, and they also believe that the only way a woman can make it outside of the home is by thotting.

It's a comical thread at this point.

RisenPhoenix:
They may not be in broken marriages, but the men are not happy, not respected; in short; not men. And the children are often neglected. Plus divorce rates are through the roof and extra marital affairs are probably at an all time high.



Petty.



True, but only recently has it been made mandatory on them. Originally, they would contribute when they wanted to but no one blamed them if they didn't. No self respecting man would at that time, advice another to ensure that 'a woman was making income' before he married her. Now, women are shamed for wanting to be housewives or for rejecting a career lifestyle... and yes, that attitude is actually a feminist creation.



Yes. Like equating sponging off your wife with being alpha.



No she may not be a devil. But it is still unnatural and emasculating to have to send your wife out into the clutches of other men just to support an unnatural lifestyle that you are too lazy to hustle for yourself. Ask the average lady how many solicitations she gets from men she finds attractive on an average day, and ask yourself how well an average woman would be able to hold out against every single one of them; day in day out for decades; especially when she has been shackled by the inability to cause offence by the financial burdens you imposed on her.
Of course, some men are accepting of being cuckolds and would rather hide their heads in the sand when faced with their wives' infidelities; being too weak to complain about it.

Old man ...
A working wife who cheats will be teated just like a jobless wife who cheats.

I don't know what kind of men you have in mind when you write these, but clearly you have an incomplete view of your own gender.
Talkless of the female one.

CHoccolaTE:
Personally I am all for female emancipation and women having jobs/not depending on some guy totally but topics like this are not for the average Nigerian man who believes he should be taken as a demi god by his wife.
You can't have a wife paying rent and buying food to feed her husband and and paying other bills and then her husband wants to exercise TOTAL control over her and the household in spite of her financial and domestic contributions.

That's why Nigerian women avoid men who want them to contribute financially.
Another thing is, after marriage the same man expecting his wife to split bills will expect her to be primarily responsible for housechores and be completely submissive and obedient to him. It doesnt work that way. If a woman starts feeding you or paying your bills you no longer have complete authority over her.
And it becomes imperative that you as the husband also take up housechores like cooking and cleaning and child care.

An average egotistical Nigerian man will not want to all this.

Nigerians in general tend to believe in autocracies and theocracies...not democracies.

This bleeds into everything they do.

Some of you speak like ALL the married women you work with in your offices are in broken marriages.
Y'all be some clowns.

The fact is, women have been working and contributing to the financials of the home unit long before this feminism thing some of you keep blaming.

I guess if you believe something hard enough, it becomes your reality.
Hence all this "If she makes money, she will eventually grow horns and become the devil" madness.

efosky1246:
Bros abeg you deserve cold beer. I honestly don't understand men who have this stupid mentality.

Sharing bills with a woman?

Why the f*ck are you a man then.

If you want a certain lifestyle for your family, work your ass of till you achieve it, you won't die during the process.youll become a better man.

Men create their own reality and women live in it.

There are women for your type, just as there are women for my type.

Stay in naija

RisenPhoenix:
No.

A simp is one who is subservient to women, does not understand their manipulations and puts them on a pedestal. One way of doing this is by giving in to the feminist idea of role blurring, which is what your method leads to. If she has to contribute financially, then her work is as important as yours, so you have no moral right to consider yourself as the head of the family, nor can you shirk equally being responsible for roles that are traditionally hers like child nurture and housework; this is straight out of feminism 101.

Having a financially contributing wife automatically disqualifies you from any respect in marriage. Only pimps and players make money off women and they can only sustain it for a short while, and tend to use fear and addictions more often than game; also it only works on damaged women. An alpha male does not shirk responsibility; ever. He also has too much pride in his abilities to sponge off a mere female.

Then you are the type of dude who believes he shouldn't even lift a finger to wash plate or do laundry in his house.

That's you I guess.
Again, stay in Naija.

lalasticlala can we get some front page love on this thread?

Belafonte:
I’m talking about women offering wetness to get ahead, not even being harassed here.

In certain parts of the world, it would be far easier for the woman to get ahead if, upon any on-toward approach by her boss, she sues the company for multiples of her salary. Even if she gave green/mixed signals

Much easier on the back and the kitty, wouldn't you say?
Unless it's one of those morally questionable industries like entertainment, only a foolish man today in those countries would exchange business for sex with any female. He basically becomes her bitch after that.
Far cheaper to simply go relieve his sexual appetites with a prostitute... If he no longer sends his wife like that.

Again, Naija factor is what makes your experience on that subject a "most" and not a "some".

RisenPhoenix:
Women are the same worldwide, and bosses are the same worldwide too. I've seen for myself firsthand.

You are only trying to justify your desire to rely on your wife's contribution to what should rightly be your own responsibility.

Yes, I know that it will cause me problems elsewhere, which is why I will always remain in Nigeria despite having dual citizenship. But my view being unpopular among the Western simp culture does not make it wrong.

You do realize that the actual definition of a simp is a man who feels he needs to pay for everything about a woman, right?

With natural game, you can have a financially contributing wife and STILL have your respect.

Belafonte:
I’d say most women thot or would thot to make ends meet or meet set targets. It’s a firmly held belief of mine that has proven true more often than not.

*Some* women. Not most.

If it's "most" then that's possibly a naija factor where there is no such thing as worker's rights or really justice of any kind that does not involve money or sex.

RisenPhoenix:
The same person can have two income streams. It is not necessary that one should have the steady income and the other should invest. The man can; and should; do both.

And entrepreneurship does not preclude a woman from being forced/tempted to use her enticements. She will still need to obtain favours from men in the form of contracts, connections etc.

The more the merrier, but as to the bolded.

Lol I guess your mind is made up that the only way a woman can make something of herself outside the home is by thoting.

For your sake bro, I hope you stay in Africa/Middle East and never entertain any plan to live outside of those areas. This your mindset will cause you problems anywhere else.

RisenPhoenix:
I hope you won't rush to do DNA tests for the kids sha. Someone who needs to share the expenses may have to do much to get her boss to give her bonuses and promotions.

And bosses do not normally appreciate hard work in their women staff, additional overtime might be necessary to secure that raise; skin to skin.

I really cannot understand why a man will want a woman to take over his role. This feminist idea is really taking root in the psyches of men.

As a high earner, I think a good configuration is to have one person pull steady income which we budget with, and the other person be entrepreneurial so that person brings in burst money e.g Real Estate, sales, etc. Big (and I mean big) money drops that are not limited by salary/raises etc.

MrBrownJay1:
... yet you were adamant earlier that she needs INCOME and you were quick to write:



so how can you run your above "idiot proofing diagnostic test" if she is an educated/intelligent woman (with no income) actively seeking employment?!?!?!?

Prospects and potential are "okay" to go off of.
Testing is and will always be better.
I still prefer to observe a woman's actions than just hear her talking about what she would do in scenarios.

MrBrownJay1:
in this age of woman being intelligent and educated, of course they will... unless of course you are talking about useless good for nothing slay queen that have nothing to offer a man but a warm coochie.
REMEMBER a man may be broke AFTER paying the rent/bills/food etc and that certainly does not make him a poor dude....far from it!



i dont believe it is... it only is in Africa/Nigeria etc where marriage is a do or die mission. thus many are marrying donkeys not because they want to spend the rest of their natural life with their loved one, BUT SIMPLY BECAUSE thats what society/family/religion/friends etc demands of them.

there should be no overcalculation here... you find someone, she ticks all the natural foundation/character/desire that you need in a mate, and you you guys settle to spend the rest of your lives together. having a job is irrelevant, so long as she is intelligent/educated and actively seeking for employment.

Yup. prospects/potential

Kfaaji:
I agree with you op. Before I went for my NYSC there is a married old man in my area that gave me an advice that during NYSC there will always be opportunity but people do fail to see it. That's it's after NYSC people will be realising those opportunities they've missed. I payed careful attention to this warning by making sure I applied for every opportunity coming my way then. Even some that required NYSC certificate and it worked for me. Fast forward to after my NYSC, I went back to thank him for the advice. He now said he'll offer me another one. I said I'm listening He said "never marry a lady that is not earning any income to complement you". He said it's very important I keep to it. The man must have been talking from experience. Am still holding on to this advice. It's the truth. It's not easy to be taking care of all your immediate family and some of the extended families needs coupled with some unforeseen contingencies during this period. It's a suicidal mission!

That man must have seen life

The major thing is that, especially we black people, we are susceptible to the Black tax i.e expenses from extended family members.
The honest feeling is: "I can handle taking care of my parents, but why do I have to still be taking care of hers?"
Especially if they are the type that hungrily went in on you and collected "flenty" money during wedding list matters.

Those expenses for her side should come from her own income.

Ancientbeing:
So i have worked in this industry for 3 yrs now and recently, they transferred my male boss and swapped with a nice looking lady.
So i work in the packaging section of the industry where i seal cartons, containers etc. So for the past two weeks, this new superior superior has been on my tail. Whatever i seal, she will find a fault or simply say am too slow even in front of my colleagues. She talks to me in a way my mom has never spoken to me before.. I need help on my next line of action cos its clear she is either a sadist or she has a crush on me.
It is really frustrating me o. I dont know if i should quit and find another work

Now this is your post, so obviously you have sculpted it to suit your narrative.
It is also possible she is not that good at constructive leadership.
I see a learning opportunity for both parties.

The best thing to do here is to slot yourself into her calendar for a one-on-one.
Every top-down office relationship should have regularly scheduled one-on-ones whereby each party (not just the oga) give each other props and discuss ways you/the other can improve. It serves as a great forum for 2-way constructive feedback.

This is an essential team management initiative that can start with you, and spread to other members of the team.
As a manager, seeing as managing you is her freaking job, she should be happy about doing this with you.
If she does not, then she hates you but you can still use that to your advantage.

As always, make sure you are using email to request these things so that she has no way of misconstruing anything in case she does have it out for you. If your company has an employee calendar system, take the initiative by looking at her calendar and slotting yourself into a free spot as you send the email. In case she flips the whole thing against you, those proof of actions can then be used by her own boss to determine that you were the professional one and she shirked in her duties to manage you properly.

I know the typical Nigerian oga/worker relationship can be an abusive one that thrives on subjugation...but you don't need to be passive or passive aggressive about it. Be assertive and take the right steps always.

Naomila:
You'd be surprised, especially African guys.
Haven't you seen some guys on NL saying if you date an independent woman you're on your own and youd never be able to control her.Those are the type that would like housewives, probably so they can control em.lol

Guys who still think that way are not part of this century.

That, or they have never left for or lived in any western countries outside of Nigeria.
If they have, they will realize that, even if she doesn't bring any money, these women have been given a lot of powers, so the focus is on negotiation not control.
So if she is going to be having these powers as granted by the State, she might as well be bringing money to match

A bad situation a man can find himself in is having a broke/no-employable-skill-having wife, who still controls him on top of her financial irrelevance.

I posted this in romance section, but I think more realistic responses will come from this forum. Enjoy and please share your thoughts.
You can also go to the romance section to respond
https://www.nairaland.com/5763544/make-sure-marry-woman-makes

Gentlemen. The reality of living in the 20th century has changed, and so must every notion formed from previous days that no longer hold weight today.

Women are not the only ones who should be asking what you do.
You should also be asking her what she does....and guaging her wifeability from her response.
Nobody likes to suffer...yourself included. So why sign up for a lifetime of every financial request of your immediate family (and possibly both your extended families ) coming to just you alone?

Gone are the days where families survived on one income alone.
Those days, houses in Nigeria used to cost #5M or less.
These same houses now cost well over #30M.
I can bet your income did not also inflate 6x over the same time.

The reality is that you need a wife who also brings something home, and honestly it should hopefully be around the same (or more God willing) of what you pull in.
This way one person's income can cover the family stuff and the other person's income goes towards savings/investments/emergencies/joblessness buffering/ etc. Your family will go farther and you can even both retire earlier if this is done right.

Also Naija guys please, have some respect for yourself.
If you meet a girl and she has the mental configuration of always wanting money from you, just know that is not the one.
As a sister here once said, "A girl who truly likes you, won't ask you for money...unless it's bad and you are her last resort."
Na woman talk am. Believe that sister. Peep that one game from her, and most of you will be alright.
If a girl really likes you, she'll be too busy trying to think of ways to be an asset to your life or impress you...not a taker.

Get you a girl who makes her money with a good source of income and who understands that her income is to be included in plans.

You have been told.
You should be done with your broke girl phase right about now (much like how women should be done with their bad boy stage).
It does nothing for your life.

NOTE: I am not saying go and marry an idiot because she makes money....obviously.
You are still looking for a good wife, who just ALSO happens to be equipped with income and/or good income prospects.

CanadaOrBust:
So what u want is a girl with solid character who can weather any storm with u and without u, even if they don’t have much at the moment. The important thing is the character. That job may be gone tomorrow. She could be sleeping around but with good money/job. She may want nothing to do with home but always all about business and money-making. U sure that’s what u want? So u see the answer is not so simple. What has worked through the ages is: the man goes out to bring and they MANAGE whatever he brings, while the woman takes care of the home! Nothing prevents her from doing small time jobs or biz. Once the children are grown she can then go big time

In everything, achieve balance.
You are focusing on the extreme.
Nobody said one should get a wife who wants nothing to do with her children.
In fact, you would be hard pressed to find a woman who thinks like that.

That said, after a certain age, she doesn't need to be with the children 24/7.
That is called helicopter parenting.
That is why a lot of nigerians raise kids who don't even know how to be independent.

Also, y'all talk like you don't even see women with healthy families in your various offices.
What I'm talking about here is not rare, neither is it rocket science. They exist in quantum.
We can pay for maid and catering if we want to relax. No be so?
There are even housewives who still request for maids and cooks join, so one wonders what exactly these so-called housewives actually do.

As was covered in the opening post, as a man, fully expect that there will be moments where you will have to take on the lion share if not everything, especially pertaining to childbirth and perhaps even job-loss on her end.

But that should not be stressful to any one because counter-measures for such things were already put in place via dual income lifestyle.
Dual income is the way to go in this age...unless you are stinkingly wealthy...of which everyone is not thanks to the inflation of expenses over income.

Also in some companies, incomed women enjoy mat-leave, so they can still pull in small something even while at home as you prepare to take on everything.

The man is a fool for agreeing to this.

She won't even look at him the same way again after he has allowed her do this dehumanizing shit to him.
Might as well just let her go. That marriage is already over, first wound was the cheating, but this one has just killed whatever remained.

BareFacedLies:
Any guy who is not yet married should take this advise very seriously!

Sounds like you have married and have stories.

MrBrownJay1:
IMHO i dont think her income has anything to do with finding a right mate, and instead this should be primarily about the MINDSET of that person. a job is just a tool to "help" you guys have a better life, it aint a necessary foundation to assure anyone of a great union. yes , a lot of women out there are LIABILITIES, but having a job does not solve this issue. there are a lot of LIABILITIES out there that have jobs.

the important question Is: whats important for your family?! a wife with a job (that she could lose a week after wedding) OR a wife with good character (that she can never lose)?! there is a huge difference between a mentally/emotionally broke woman AND a woman who is currently unemployed.

Naturally, whether she has income or not, you still have to find a wife...not an idiot.

You can't even run some very necessary, idiot-proofing diagnostic tests on a female prior to marrying her, if she doesn't have income.
How will you know for sure that she is not of the "My money is mine and your money is ours" idiocy category? The type of idiot that will rather "borrow" you money in a rough patch to pay rent/mortgage for a house she ALSO lives in.

josen16322:
wen som women start makin cash more dan their husband dey wil be like i am now d head of d family i can provide half of d tins my children needs be4 u kno it d husband wil be talkin one d wife wil be talkin 2 no more respect 4d husband dis incident is hapenin in my compound dat is y women can neva rule dis country becos wen dey start 2 earn more dan their husband,dem go form pass shit

Well do Nigerian men have enough general game to work with and live with women without trying to be autocrats?
If your plan is to leave the country one day with your wife , you will quickly realize that the only way you can deal with your wife in these western countries is through negotiation, not by you just yelling and giving commands. And that is even a wife who is not making any money so you are not even getting any benefits of said negotiation style.

Might as well adjust your pattern, and have her enjoy some of the benefits of her input by her also being able to have a say.
Sooner or later, if you ever leave naija, you will have to anyway.

That said, the woman who overdos and destroys her marriage over the fact that she manages to bring something in is a fool.
The only way to know she is this kind of fool is by observing how she behaves as an earning woman before marriage. If you are keen (and you have to be in this game), you will detect what you need to detect to either continue or abort.

CanadaOrBust:
(The guy above me don kolo o)

OP, I agree with you, BUT
1) How do u know her future? (Girls usually marry young)
2) R u sure u want extra money and financially independent wife more than a wife who’d take care of the kids and home and be totally financially dependent on u?

1) Is she in school? What course is she in? If she is not in school what is she doing or aiming at? Basically analyze her for potential as she no doubt did you.

2) Eww. Why would I want a house wife?
I would rather she apply herself to other things besides only just child rearing, be it business or an actual career. Keeps her interesting and realistic. We should both be able to come back home and trade stories of our victories and learn from each other, as opposed to just "guess what, Junior pooped on me today".

That can happen for a time, but that cannot be her entire life plan.

Reason is that will become a problem when that child grows up and no longer need her or leaves the house, like they are supposed to. What next for her? She has done nothing else over the years. She used that child as an excuse to not engage her mind in other things.

Also you hardly hear men being honest about this, but There are a lot of men who would end up disrespecting her because she is fully dependent on him for everything. This typically begins after his first financial strain.

This is the point where she starts feeling useless and starts looking for funny ways to find relevance for herself. I would rather spare my wife from that psychological turmoil.

Wifey will understand that, as much as we love our children, they must leave the nest. Her life must continue after they do, so she can't afford to make it all about the children. Even so, God forbid but if something were to happen to him, would it not be better that the woman actually has the capability to keep that family going? Instead of everything going to hell. She would then not even be able to provide for the children who she has made her whole life about.

That aside, nobody is trying to have that many children in this day and age. 2 is fine. _{I can be persuaded to 3, but she would have to convince me hard to get that high.}