₦airaland Forum

I can't speak for most professions but in tech, the best way to show competence is to practice building.
And to read a lot and keep up to date with a lot of things.

There is no way someone can help you do these things.
You have to show me you have the discipline enough to study by yourself, and reach out when you have intelligent questions to ask.

A lot of Nigerians have been burned sticking their neck out for fellow Nigerians.
Imagine recommending your fellow Nigerian for a job and when he enters, he starts doing "sharp guy things" in the job to perpetuate the stereotypes held about Nigerians.

I only recommend people for work when I know they have the competence and Discipline to handle it....not just because we come from the same country. Assuming the Nigerian had an acceptable level of competence that was even slightly lower than the competition, I will def pick the Nigerian because he meets the requirement to do the job. A lot of us want to help, but you have to give us something to work with.

I can hang out with anyone, but I cannot work with just anyone. 2 very different things.

Advice on ways to improve is always free though....if the fellow is actually interested in improving.

QueenBelle:
shut up
I like her attitude, she has one thing most women don't have. Boldness. She's a go getter.
She's more open minded than other girls. At least she got her intentions known rather than letting it die in the dark.
I like her spirit.

Exactly! I love her.

LOL her honesty is refreshing. I respect it.

Leave the female cowards to be talking shit there.

Amakababe:
honestly some guys can be foolish. nigga will know quite alright that he's fugly, tattered, and worst broke, why then walk up to me? and when I eventually run away as I saw him coming, he starts saying to everyone that one na Olosho. no I'm not. bcuz you will never see me standing on the road at nite almost unclad chewing gum so I'm not.
just shutup and put you in my shoes, what would you do?
when you see a dirty blacked face boy with brown hair walking towards you when waiting for the bus.
I think people need to teach these mens around here that ladies are visual too and deserve to make their choices.
stopping coming to me and
go buy a mirror boy.

Next time, send them to my thread https://www.nairaland.com/4796059/young-men-respect-yourselves-dignity

Men wanting to get married before their 30's....must be a Nigerian thing

This thread is absolute shiiiit.
I would highly reccomend that a man only marries in his 30s and thats a minimum.
Women should have that sorted out when they are in their 20s.

I'm curious, what do you like about Sowore/AAC?
Why do you want to vote for him?

postmann:
Being ambitious is an old virtue and it's never been a crime. But it's benefits are measured by the sacrifices that was made to achieving such ambition.

Alas, for women most times it has to be little innocent children whose tender infant age are sacrificed to accommodate their ambition.

Irrespective of the politically correct cooperate media, career mothers and child rearing are oil and water that don't mix. One takes the back seat while the other gets the wheel. So your "manager and successful entrepreneurs" definition is as subjective as your pink-colourd binoculars.









What you failed to grasp is that women have always worked from the earliest civilization. They've never been idle. They've always done their bit keeping the home running with their financial contribution.

The only difference is that it never impacted on their ability to answer to their first calling -- motherhood!
Their work never dictated for them, they dictated for their work.

No one could give them a lousy 3month maternity leave or having to subject infants to daycare or employ nannies while they play the absentee moms.

Career always came second to the welfare and nurturing of the child.

Perhaps, your definition of adaptation is when mothers go to work 3 months after child birth while her child is being managed by a nanny and her breastmilk is being pumped away in the office restroom sink.

When mothers play the absentee mom and young children, even toddlers are raised like poultry birds in boarding schools. That's your definition of adaptation?

That's seems to me like an abuse of the grace to be a mother.

This argument is only valid when the child is really young.
Children aren't babies forever, and it is actually HEALTHIER when the growing young one has a bit of autonomy so they are not as dependent.

See usual excuses and responses here:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/how-do-life/201509/addressing-refuse-work-syndrome

Mothers at home are actually at the best advantage of starting/improving family businesses that could lay the foundation for that whole family's financial independence sef. At the end of the day a successful business or business branch is more preferable than just a damn job.

A lot more women just need grander visions besides basic reproduction sturvs.

ranmoor:
come to think of it, most friends of God in Bible are polygamous! Abraham, David, Solomon.. etc, yet God loved them!

Polygamy is not wrong. That it has been made to seem that way is just because society in general is easily manipulated by female agenda....especially out here in the west.

postmann:
It's not as simple as you might have put it. But I'm obviously a conservative.

I believe a woman's first call is her home. Irrespective of the changing times, the office or wherever one makes his income is a warzone. It is precarious for family when both parents are at the warfront simultaneously trying to make ends meet.

Sometimes it can't be helped but it's the children who suffer the neglect and ill-exposure such arraignment brings.


A wife is free to pursue her own ambition when her children have attained a manageable age. No woman really likes to be idle. But a true wife always finds fulfillment in helping her husband fulfill his dreams. A true wife finds her dreams even up to 90% entwined with her husband's.

Women should attain education to the highest level if it falls within their interest.

If she's the career-first and family-second type of woman, she best get a husband who shares same value genuinely. But keep in mind that men are generally easy preys to homely and domesticated women.

Just about every profession needs a female professional, especially when it involves evasive procedures that gender sensitive people may find offensive.

I actually agree with you more than I dissagree.
I agree a woman's first concern is her home.

Unfortunately, I have seen too many women use the "children" excuse when her last born is as old as 18 years old.
And then something happens with her marriage, then she is stranded, and has to become a burden on others...including children who may just be starting out life.

Whether you are new-school or old-school, I think we can both agree that This is not a good thing!
It is a problem more common today than you think in this social media era.
Every woman needs a financially productive outlet. There are ways for her to achieve this TODAY that do not necessarily put her at odds with her homely calling.

Those are all ones.
Hardly enough to pay rent!

highqueen:
Hmm.
You can hardly hear of the polygamous shitt in Igbo land, full Christian man and someone that abides in God's word won't bother bringing in second wife to add in his home.

Op, becareful what you wish for

Women and your dillusions.
There is nothing "unchristian" about having multiple wives.
Not every Christian need be a deacon.

postmann:
Being ambitious is an old virtue and it's never been a crime. But it's benefits are measured by the sacrifices that was made to achieving such ambition.

Alas, for women most times it has to be little innocent children whose tender infant age are sacrificed to accommodate their ambition.

Irrespective of the politically correct cooperate media, career mothers and child rearing are oil and water that don't mix. One takes the back seat while the other gets the wheel. So your "manager and successful entrepreneurs" definition is as subjective as your pink-colourd binoculars.









What you failed to grasp is that women have always worked from the earliest civilization. They've never been idle. They've always done their bit keeping the home running with their financial contribution.

The only difference is that it never impacted on their ability to answer to their first calling -- motherhood!
Their work never dictated for them, they dictated for their work.

No one could give them a lousy 3month maternity leave or having to subject infants to daycare or employ nannies while they play the absentee moms.

Career always came second to the welfare and nurturing of the child.

Perhaps, your definition of adaptation is when mothers go to work 3 months after child birth while her child is being managed by a nanny and her breastmilk is being pumped away in the office restroom sink.

When mothers play the absentee mom and young children, even toddlers are raised like poultry birds in boarding schools. That's your definition of adaptation?

That's seems to me like an abuse of the grace to be a mother.

Binary thinking is not the answer here.
Like I mentioned in what you quoted, if she is ambitious (let's face it, not a whole lot of women are) she can engage herself (as she should have been doing/building long before now if she was serious) in many proven online business opportunities.

With the mutations of modern life requiring more funds to survive, so came also mutations that made it so earning at EVERY state of one's life is possible....if they care....and care they must.

postmann:
In other words you're trying to tell me that as the year progresses you seem to lose touch with the cardinal principles of lasting human values as they affect the society at large.

It's OK if you look longingly across the bridge to a life that appears glossy and attractive. If that's where your fantasy lie, then by all means set sail.

But it would be to you like a wave bolting down with great gust only to end up at the pebbled shore empty.

For many have threaded the path you seek but they found no satisfaction for their lustful and greedy souls.

A lot of women these days are also not content just sitting down waiting for husband to bring them money...for good reason.
They are ambitious go-getters who make their bread and combine it with the man's to make bigger moves. Some of them are managers and successful entrepreneurs.
Are you saying these women do not deserve happiness because they are not dependent on some man's wallet?

Times have changed sah. Economies have changed...so much so that one source of income is increasingly becoming not enough to run homes and put children through quality education to give them a better chance at the future....talk less of then investing so you don't have to depend on said children in said future. In the old days, parents did whatever with the mind that when they grow old, they will depend on their children. This itself is not the expected norm today. You have to plan for yourself too. So you see, there are changes everywhere.

Adaptation is, and has always been, the key to human survival...not "this is how we've always done it". Tell that to Kodak.

Also the fact that she stays home to raise children, doesn't mean she should be financially idle. There are several PROVEN online businesses she can channel her ambition into from the comfort of her home (daytrading, ecommerce, internet marketting, etc)...as long as she has the ambition or brain to follow things through (don't marry a brainless woman).

The "power couple" route is generally the best way to go in this era.
Females can no longer afford to dull themselves....both for the good of the family they are building and for the good of themselves in case things go south in the future so they don't become a burden to extended family and children who may still be unstable in these rough economic climates!

This is not 1988 where as soon as you finish school you get multiple job offers with insane perks; jobs which instantly affords you a house (or gives you one for free). Is it business? Well markets are saturated and it takes pure grace to thrive in any endeavour today.
This is no longer the case anywhere on earth today and it will likely never be. My bible says things will only get worse as we advance in these last days.

So no, this your thinking sounds sweet, but it is for a by-gone era. Not this one.

Konquest:
^^^^^
^^^^^
You've said it all.

When I first read the original post, I knew
that some embellishments were in the post
of the so-called Canada-based guy...
^^^^^
^^^^^
You've said it all.

When I first read the original post, I knew
that some embellishments were in the post
of the so-called Canada-based guy...

The average american knows very little of immigration laws, I have come to determine.
An American does not need a visa to ENTER Canada, but you need a visa/permit/something if you are planning on staying there for 6+ months. Vice versa with a Canadian and USA.

QueenBelle:
Abi, is this how you use to do?

Someone cannot play with you?

[quote author=QueenBelle post=72520946][/quote]So you are calling someone reading scripture "ori e ti yi?" eh?
May God forgive you.

If you think I changed anything from the scripture I quoted, go read it here:

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ecclesiastes+7%3A27-29&version=NIV

QueenBelle:

I still don't see the point of this thread

Why are you looking at me like that?
Clearly you have not read your bible today

...

Ecclesiastes 7:27-29 New International Version (NIV)
27 “Look,” says the Teacher,[a] “this is what I have discovered:

“Adding one thing to another to discover the scheme of things—
28 while I was still searching
but not finding—
I found one upright man among a thousand,
but not one upright woman among them all.
29 This only have I found:
God created mankind upright,
but THEY have gone in search of many schemes.”

Abeg don't come and fight me.
I am in my room reading my bible

Ok. But bring a short man now for these same feminists to date and they will say "ewww"

Amakavula:
Idealistic love is when someone love without limits or condition. Say a very educated , rich guy go looking for a village girl with nothing. He married her and sends her to school to improve her level.

But for Us Women we love opportunistically; we find someone with value ( Sex , money , influence , fame or Handsome ) and with aspirations ( CEO , Entrepreneur , Musician or politician ) so we can be attached to that value. A woman want someone other women want not just any person. So if you have no value and go telling a woman about love, you are making her hate you.

I appreciate your honesty.

Like I have said before, a woman allows herself to be talking to a man because he meets her standards.
That is why I tell men to never be timid about judging a woman by his own standards as well.
It makes no sense when her requirements are being met but yours are left pending.

It means he is basically saying she is more worthy of respect than him.
No be only the guy waka come.

Every mature man knows that human love is not unconditional.
Thresholds vary....but it is never unconditional.
You get that only from God.

What makes her pretty?
I guess to those who want Canadian papers, she is prettier than beeeyance

What do all these hoes care about politics and people dieing?
They get paid to eat old men's asses so surely they will accept to be paid to put on a T-shirt and dance...regardless of what said T-shirt says.

Try to engage these ones now in a conversation as to why they are supporting PMB, you won't hear any sounds from their mouth that appear to have been stained by a brain. Just pure unintelligible wind.

CAPSLOCKED:
CLASSIC.

MOST MEN HAVE THIS PROBLEM OF NOT LOOKING AT MARRIAGE FROM WOMEN'S POV.
THEY ONLY CARE ABOUT "OWNING" THE PROPERTY AFTER PURCHASE (BRIDE PRICE) AND HOW THE PROPERTY CAN SERVE AND SATISFY.

APART FROM MONEY THERE'S NOT MUCH A MARRIED MAN LOOSES BUT YOU CAN'T SAY THE SAME ABOUT WOMEN WHOSE LOSSES SOMETIMES CAN'T BE COUNTED.

BECAUSE OF SOCIETAL/FAMILY PRESSURE, AND THE WAY OUR YOUNG WOMEN IN THIS PART OF THE WORLD ARE PROGRAMMED, FROM THE EARLY STAGES THEY'RE EAGER TO GET MARRIED.
THEY YEARN FOR MARRIAGE BECAUSE ALL THEIR LIVES THEIR MOTHERS FOCUSED ON RAISING THEM TO END UP IN ANOTHER MAN'S HOUSE, AS A PROPERTY, TO COOK, CLEAN, SERVE, AND OBEY WITHOUT COMPLAINING BECAUSE HE'S THE MAN, AND THAT IS HOW THINGS SHOULD BE.
NOBODY TELLS THEM THE REALITY OF MARRIAGE THROUGH PRE-WEDDING PHOTOS AND WEDDING VIDEOS THAT ARE FEATURED ONLINE.

IT IS ONLY AFTER THE WEDDINGS AND MERRIMENT, THEY TAKE OFF THAT FANCY WEDDING DRESS, REALITY KICKS IN AND THEY DISCOVER THAT MARRIAGE IS BIGGER THAN THE FAKE SMILES AND HUGS ON WEDDING SOUVENIRS.

Women don't fantasize about "marriage".
They fantasize about the wedding. HER big day, where she can "stunt on those lonely hoes" and
"pepper dem". This is usually the sum perspective in most female minds when it comes to weddings.

They themselves could care less about thinking/planning about the life after said big day.
Very few women have forethought....as most men very quickly realize after she blames him for all bad outcomes after leaving sensitive things in her hands to plan for.

They have nothing but their ego and ignorance to blame for not preparing for the actual marriage itself.
And for those that know, the idea of being totally dependent on a man for everything is already something they are looking forward to.
It's like going back to her simpler teenage years where she does not feel the need to work anymore or think about bills because daddy is there.

Only this time, daddy has demands! (as he should)....and this shocks them for some reason. Maybe they thought he would just be a silent mugu paying her way through life, crawling out of the mines from time to time ONLY to give her kisses, feed her grapes, rub her feet and return back to the mines to make her more damn money! Brainless assumptions.

They get exactly what they planned for.

A sensible woman would have had firm conversations about these things with her fiance/boyfriend prior to marriage.
Addressing her concerns about these dynamics as listed/numbered in the opening post.
Does she have goals she intends to achieve AS WELL AS being a wife? Make sure you table it out as well as how you intend to go about it so it is clear. If you have no goals of your own, then enjoy the wife hussle. It's not easy for everyone. Husband too has wahala.

So you see, it is not the Man's fault....but the greater number of silly women who either take pride in their ignorance or in their mindset of arrested development and thus do not prepare themselves for LIFE after wedding.

Elder0001:
Sagamite your contribution will be appreciated

Saga is a prime MGTOW.
I don't think the bros sends marriage

But it's so.....flat