₦airaland Forum

Sowore/AAC 2019!

BlaqCoffee109:
oh brother (palm on face)! I need you to get the import of all I tried to make you understand...You want a 50/50 power couple relationship and stated if you are dating a broke woman she should at least keep clean,Yes? I further stated if she meeting you half way by catering to your needs ...you might as well meet her half way if she is broke at least to take care of the financial aspect of the relationship...you went on to say that was the Nigerianess in me speaking...I tried to make you understand that their are a number of factors to it and you being just one man with you peculiarities can never be one size fits all...you go further to allude that I somewhat suggested thean takes care of her financially or she go misbehave...now where was it @ the bolded was inferred?

You are no longer arguing along the lines of logic, but just arguing because you want to.

Why don't you read that post again, where I quote what YOU were saying about women, financial contribution, and rudeness. You are trying to reflect your own bad argument on me...which you did because you came to your senses and realized your argument was terrible.

My advice to your major perspective: When a woman puts her money down for something she is not supporting the man, she is contributing to things. Parasitic females need to understand this difference clearly.

I think it's safe to say we are going to have to agree to disagree on... whatever it is you've been arguing here.

BlaqCoffee109:
@ the bolded...but of course! Neither should a female cater to a male parasite or man-LovePeddler! Any reasonable person wants to be an added value to themselve and society...adding value to the life of whomever one is in a relationship with much more your personal life shouldn't be much of a big deal

So what exactly is your argument about?

Is this just your way of yielding? Because through out, your argument has mostly been about "why a man should financially cater to a broke girl who isn't all that useful".

BlaqCoffee109:
oh brother (palm on face)! I need you to get the import of all I tried to make you understand...You want a 50/50 power couple relationship and stated if you are dating a broke woman she should at least keep clean,Yes? I further stated if she meeting you half way by catering to your needs ...you might as well meet her half way if she is broke at least to take care of the financial aspect of the relationship...you went on to say that was the Nigerianess in me speaking...I tried to make you understand that their are a number of factors to it and you being just one man with you peculiarities can never be one size fits all...you go further to allude that I somewhat suggested thean takes care of her financially or she go misbehave...now where was it @ the bolded was inferred?

Sis, I think you are distracted and may not be comprehending what you are reading (or writing)...

Firstly:
How is her having good hygiene "catering to my needs"?
Good hygiene is required whether or not she is broke.
Abi is good hygiene now seen as something a man should pay for (as being her contribution to the relationship) in Nigeria? You are something else! That is the same kind of entitled me-me mindset that tries to put value of sex as something she should receive renumeration for in said relationship as if she isn't enjoying it too.

Secondly: Let's summarize this:

- I have standards in what I look for in a woman, like every man should and like every woman already does. One of such standards is the example I gave of her needing to be shaved or trimmed when we get intimate for the most part. (From experience: there are several solid women who prefer to keep things shaved and fresh down there...they don't need to be broke like some one here has been trying to binarily inferr.).

- If she is broke, she must have proven useful skills...professional skills that I or some future employer can use (e.g if she is between jobs). She can't just come and park her life problems on my head because she has a vagina. I don't play that. But this is a bottom of the barrel situation and likely not to be picked because, if she is THAT broke we cannot determine the next constraint...

- If in a relationship with a female, I will be looking to see how she reasons about money. Does she fall under the mindset cult of "My money is my money, his money is our money"? If so, that is a disqualification. No be only me waka come this relationship thing.

- If she is not a match, she should be freed to go find her match. A match is not a one-way thing. Both people must have their hard requirements met....not just the woman.


Everything else you have added to this argument of yours has started to confuse you.

BlaqCoffee109:
in your earlier summation you narrowed it to finance...where you asked if it's only the man to buy gift or invest in the relationship and the woman totally dependent on the man without contributing anything like buying him gifts or taking him out to eat? @ the bolded, what are you on about?
2buffagain, this is just your opinion, you have no clue what it means to be an ambitious strong woman in a society as ours...

I don't think you are logically following your argument.

YOU made the subjective claim that a man basically has to totally cater to a woman's finances or she will have a bad attitude:

...A couple of days ago, I had a similar conversation with a man...a fulfilled man on all standard and he goes...all he needs is a loyal woman, a subservient woman! In his case,he does not need a woman to bundle 50/50 with him financially as a man of his status that could pose as an affront...a woman robbing shoulder with him financially ( of course he is wealthy) ...now that is beyond buying this or that gift for him or taking him out for dinner...for a normal 9ja man with real dough though he will respect that but it will be nothing short of amusing to him...push that further, it may pose a terrible risk in the relationship...then the woman will be termed a usurper or arrogant ...not submissive etc...

after reading what you wrote, read my post again.

If you are trying to say I am changing mouth, I have been clear from day one that she has to either bring resources OR resource generating/management skills to the union. This inferes that percentages apply here, because she can also have resources AND skills, all of which simply make the relationship sweeter.

MY opinion? YOU are the one making the point that a woman who contributes financialy will be rude and cheat.
That's on YOU not me. You are arguing like a woman at this point. Your thoughts are unstructured. Can you just make an argument and defend it(or yield) without trying to make it look like someone else (me) made it? This is all on text.

All this one is long story. The long and short of everything is I don't cater to female financial parasites. She has to be willing to contribute to things. If it doesn't come natural to her, then I simply see her as one of those girls who want to marry so she won't have to hussle or be useful to herself....which is a massive turn-off to me.

BlaqCoffee109:
ok, ok...this is hilarious! This has nothing to do with being Nigerian, trust me on that. Talk on being materialistic, the Nigerian woman is below par with her fellow women else where in the world...a Nigerian woman can marry you
..stick her neck for you...even cover you with her own money just to massage your already over bloated ego as the "man" that emphasized, there are a number of things men want and there are peculiarities in need. A couple of days ago, I had a similar conversation with a man...a fulfilled man on all standard and he goes...all he needs is a loyal woman, a subservient woman! In his case,he does not need a woman to bundle 50/50 with him financially as a man of his status that could pose as an affront...a woman robbing shoulder with him financially ( of course he is wealthy) ...now that is beyond buying this or that gift for him or taking him out for dinner...for a normal 9ja man with real dough though he will respect that but it will be nothing short of amusing to him...push that further, it may pose a terrible risk in the relationship...then the woman will be termed a usurper or arrogant ...not submissive etc...so my dear this goes beyond buying gifts,dinner dates and all

I don't have a bloated ego. My wife can pay for whatever in the union and it won't affect my ego one bit.
A man with an ego so fragile that he needs to keep up with appearances of being "The ATM of the relationship" cannot marry a confident ambituous woman who, for example, is the CFO of a fortune 500 company.

Taking your mind to automatically think of 50/50...and limiting it to money... is just another way of binary thinking.
50/50 in a grander sense of contributions sure, but from experience, monetary contributions can be any combination of sum100 percentages.

So your statement, again, is that a woman who pays for some things in the union will undoubtedly go cheat outside and be rude to her partner?

I don't know where you get your data or experience from.
That kind of woman will cheat or be rude whether or not she is financially catered to 100%.
You are talking about an "attitude", not a condition. The attitude is independent of the condition.

BlaqCoffee109:
no woman worth her salt will meet and obviously exceed his taste in women and still take care of him financially...com'on now?! She doesn't have to depend on you but you still have to do the man thing...how can she cater to you and still Jack up her ass to take care of you financially?

The Nigerian in you seems incapable of thinking outside the scope of binary thinking.

Your subtle use of language depicts you are trying to inject a very binary perspective about women and their money that has been proven to be illogical.
Here is the more direct translation of your language: The woman putting her money down to invest in the relationship, like the man is doing, automatically means the man is totally dependent on her. Both can only be 100% dependent on the other. The concept of interdependency is incomprehensible.

So in your brain:
- It is only the man that should buy gifts for the woman or take her out to eat?
- The woman (who makes her own paper) should never contribute financially to things in play?
- A woman in a serious relationship with a man must put ALL her financial needs on the man's head and not be able to stand on her own because Man has come....talkless of now even investing her money just as well in said relationship.



That's the height of narcissism and entitlement, and is exactly the kind of mindset I look for in a woman before disqualifying her.

BlaqCoffee109:
Have i inferred by omission or commission for you to take care of her financially she must be broke?

Firstly: We would be taking care of each other financially or in equivalent value. As I have mentioned before, sex is not a reason to financially carry a woman, as that is a mutual trade of pleasure.

Secondly: No man worth his salt will need to "pay" a woman for her to be presentable/hygenic (if she is trully worth her salt).
It just means she isn't ready to get chosen.

BlaqCoffee109:
[s]touché! My point exactly, in the dating game, prior to any form of involvement or intimacy, the man is expected to woo the lady in question ( you know there's so much that has evolved thus far in our generation); for the man it's somewhat of a man thing..the chase, the conquest...for the woman, oh well it's all for the thrill I might say(to some extent) to culminate to that excitement of the promise of such a chase...now motives, intentions, attraction or whatever the man employs to further win over the lady may factor in the overall win or lose for the man or acceptance or rejection from the woman...so you see here it purely for some men like the end justify the means, they are willing to go the long haul for the taste of victory... this may be spurred on by some mixed reaction from the lady( this is somewhat so common on this side of the hemisphere...the vainess of having a man willing to go a mile/spending heavily to get ones attention etc); remember the lady in between Lancelot and King Arthur? Yup, this is as old as immemorial and has absolutely nothing to do with dignity or lack of it on the part of the man...let's just say it's a man's thing! So what was your question again?[/s]

You are persisting further in your strawman argument.
That's not how you make an argument.

Let's go back to the question you asked, and the question I asked in turn:

You: "...If one of your hard requirements include your woman to shave...that is your requirement, would it hurt if her one and only requirement be you take care of her financially.."[?]

Me: Are you saying it is only Broke women that shave?

Answer my question and stop trying to be slick

BlaqCoffee109:
touché!

So then you agree that you are being willfully illogical.

I think you are just trying to look for an excuse to continue talking to me. There are nicer ways you know?

BlaqCoffee109:
...sure you don't . @ the bolded, you are the man here, you tell me... from your sampling thus far!

Sampling not required.
Anyone who is true to logic can answer that question without sampling experience...unless the person is just willfully trying to be illogical

Black people die without choice.

Oyinbo people kill themselves because they are trying to catch an adrenalin rush.

If human being does not have problem, they must go and find it.

BlaqCoffee109:
don't be slow! If one of your hard requirements include your woman to shave...that is your requirement, would it hurt if her one and only requirement be you take care of her financially as against her shaving and supporting you financially?

Also I don't care much for your logical fallacies and strawman arguments.
Understand that if hard requirements clash, then that is a bad match. A man with a mindset of abundance does not obsess over bad matches. He releases her for her own good to go find her best match. It’s not by force.

Answer my question first. Are you saying it is only Broke women that shave?
When you do, you would have answered your question yourself.

Your gay boss gives you head EVERY morning?!

Omo, remain small you go don turn gay be dat O.
The human mind is more malleable than you think.
Just know that Neural paths are being built, and your sub-conscious is being gradually trained.

Small time now, in the future when a girl is giving you head, your mind will start drifting like "Humn. My boss sucks dick better than this...maybe because he has one?....(which leads to)...Maybe I should get a gay guy to give me head again to verify if that's true..." so on and so forth until your brain rationalizes you back to prefering gay things and then push you further into it because "I mean, it feels like the same thing".
Na small small brain neurons dey change, but after ee change complete, na problem oooo.

Quit yourself respectfully.

BlaqCoffee109:
Methuselah pubes?! so what are the hard requirements ? You can have your hard requirements and she just can't expect you to take care of her financially?

So the argument you are seriously making right now is that Only broke, overly-financially-dependent women shave their pubes?
You have such a low opinion of your gender.

WTF is up with her teeth?

Fine sluts are talking and this horseface wants to talk too?
She needs to stay in her lane. The "slay-queen" industry is not for her.

This is why it is good to surround oneself with honest people. She would have been made aware of her deficiencies that make her unsuitable for slay-queening before she went online to make a fool of herself.

...

BlaqCoffee109:
oh brother! (Palm on face) ...I bet if you had your way you might still relive the experience by playing street fighter or Nintendo game boy song I said, com'on...say?!

Lol. I really liked the Fugees....and Sisqo's thong song

...yes.

BlaqCoffee109:
you see my dear that's the problem..it seemed you were making demands of her and it may have been done in some derogatory fashion...in relationship involving 2 mature people, you get to know what the preference of the other is and lovingly of your own volition make adjustments to it...that is called compromise! Now imagine if we had a conversation and you told me you feel your pubic hair is kinky and I go like ewwww, that's disgusting...you better shave that off, or bye... don't you think that would be disrespectful on my part?For your being self absorbed with some kinda self esteem you might want to still keep the bush if otherwise my preference altogether was presented in a more respectful manner...you see? So self respect/ personal dignity and the appearance for validation is a two way street, the catch in it is your manner of presentation

No, You saying eww would not be disrespectful. It would be you simply stating your preference/expectation.
A disrespectful expectation would be something absurd like "[parasitically speaking] Give me XXXXX Naira to show you love me". With that one, that person can f*ck right off .

In this case, If a guy having methuselah pubes disgusts you and he CHOOSES not to meet that simple expectation, and it is an issue that can easily be solved by him shaving whenever he wants to be intimate with you, shaving would be the compromise in that situation, not him saying he doesn't shave for any woman and she can't force him to shave....so basically he will force her to endure said pubes?

You can see how when the script is flipped it starts to sound terrible to you right? Yet you feel a man should be the one to "just take shitty sex and be happy he got some in the first place", because you've already been spoilt by all these low self-respect naija men who I've been talking about. It's that spoilt/selfish female mind that expects men to be thirsty for sex no matter how nasty she intends to be about herself that irks me (shaving is basic personal hygiene.).

In the case of this girl, she now has the option to go find a better match by finding a guy who likes excess bush...or eventually coming to the realization of her own that "Come o, this guy I like hate this pubes thing I have going on. Is it more important to me than him?".
Either way, it's her choice.

I respect myself, so I can't waste valuable time on someone who assures me that by choosing her, I will never have something that is very important to me....a crotch free of pubes . (I'm actually not a very picky person, but I have a few hard requirements for my women)

Part of self-respect means easily Freeing people to find their best match...not getting too attached to anyhow outcome.

A good example about self-respect and dignity guys:

I just had a talk with a professional girl I've been talking to for a bit.
We finally ventured into talking about sex.
I told her my preference is that she be shaved when she wants that kind of attention from me.

The brat had the nerve to start going off about how she doesn't like guys that request that she shaves. That she does not like to shave. She won't shave for any man. Yada yada yada. I wished her goodnight and cut the call.

As you are reading this right now, that is the last time I will have any contact with this female as it would be a waste of my time. Unless she informs me that she was just joking. Most naija guys would have been apologizing to her now for expressing their standards and expectations to a common lady.

We all have our soft and hard standards/requirements.
Soft requirements are "nice-to-haves" but you can do without (perhaps substituted by something else).
Hard requirements are "if you won't like to do this, then we should probably stop wasting each others time".

It doesn't matter how cute a female is. She MUST meet your hard requirements just like you met hers.
Anything other than that is you proving yourself to be less worthy of respect than her.
Because that girl would not have been interested in you if you didn't meet her hard requirements.

Think of yourself as a prize fellas.

PS: If you like bush that's fine. I don't like it as it traps smells, etc. Have whatever standard you want as a man, just make sure the female meets it.

BlaqCoffee109:
uh uh... you go girl! Just that one joint that has got the whole 80's golden era wrapped in it, name it
2buffagain you are needed here

Street Fighter II Turbo

Bad Breath/Halitosis.

lefulefu:
well some dudes get kicks from chasing ladies that aint interested in them
its jus their thing
u can imagine a guy buying a car or an iphone to make a lady fall in love with him
at the end of the day when the lady plays him for a maga he then turns around and vents his aggression on an innocent lady who might have real feelings for him
some go dey chase woman wey no send them for 5yrs,6yrs...wasting all their financial resources on d girl
some guys dey try oo

Yup. This is the kind of ish I see that puzzles me.
But then again, maybe its just a naija thing!

Eyeness:
pucci can never be bssic and common, change your mindset

Are you really sure I should be the one to "change my mindset"?
To what exactly?

LOL see this thirsty guy trying to recruit for his thirst crew.
Some boys are sooo desperate that they cannot even comprehend the concept of self-respect.

Go preach this your Gospel of Thirst to someone else please.

EDIT: Turns out this one is a female. Makes sense.
You better start improving yourself beyond just pucci that every woman in this world has.
Keep up that way of thinking and you'll be in for a rude awakening when you get a little older.
Even your future husband will tire of you quick if all you bring to the table is what he can easily get from all the younger, fresher, tighter girls pursuing him.

BlaqCoffee109:
in your usefulness as part of a power couple, what do you offer apart from the jamrod? In the case of usefulness and productive skills do you mind enlightening us further on what that entails?

A1: This is not a personal interview about 2buffagain.

A2: I mean exactly that. For me, she has to bring resources or proven skills we can use to make/manage more resources. And by this I mean ACTUAL skills with proof of earlier proffessional-grade success, not just those all-talk and no hussle women that end up draining resources even more with one "business" she is always on that has never seen kobo.

Eyeness:
while i whole heartedly support your post, this only works for desperate pick me females, not gurls with game.

Go and be letting "Girl with game" to be insulting you then.
Everyone has a choice.

I will admit though that not every guy can pull this off.
But you can never go wrong with having more respect for yourself and your time as a human being.

Nonye1234:
then stop craving for it

How about you stop craving teh cawk?

BlaqCoffee109:
the type of men that would only want to be with a woman because of money...she alleged it's become common for some 9j men to only want to get involved with women for money...

I only get involved with women who are as useful to me as I am to them.
This can be through her resources or her useful productive skills i.e Power Couple tinz, doing my taxes, etc.
If all she brings to the table is her crotch, then she is basic and common...