₦airaland Forum

dayokanu: [size=18pt]Mr. Jonathan said. "I urge Christians to continue to pray that some of these people will even confess to Nigerians that at the appropriate time they will tell us that they are behind this.[/size]

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So we should close our eyes and pray while they steal billions with opened eyes.

Whatever the woman plans to do post divorce is her personal business. Why are people worried about if she would be lonely and the kind of men she may meet? Did she mention that she is desperate? Did she mention that she needs a relationship to feel human? Did she come here to advertise and beg for boyfriend or moan about not being able to stay alone? Social stigma or no social stigma, live your life for yourself. The people you are trying to impress will always find a way to stigmatize you. When your husband passes in front of them with the newest babe or your are stricken with AIDS, will they not laugh and still stigmatize? . This life is all about choice. So it is left for the OP to make that decision. Not people worrying about things like boyfriend. Think more about your kids. Am sure you dont want your daughters and generation yet unborn to fall in the same cycle and trap. Because it never ends. Met lots of girls from these kinds of families and they are damaged emotionally. The guys nko? Their mentality is something that will scare you. They have not respect for women, be it their mums or sisters.

Beaf has met his match.

This is definitely not Alj Harem. I Gbadun this Ilaje44.

agiboma: I am non of those things but people on NL can either understand my logic or in your case it goes way above you limited level of understanding but that's ok. Wait a few years get some more life experience and then com back on comment.

Trust me, your experiences in life are self inflicted. That is your choice. Stop making OP think her life begins and ends with any human being. That should be left for God alone. Stop throwing your personal fears up and down at the OP. Keep your convincing words for yourself because they only make sense to you. Look at your life before and if you had any pride in yourself, then go back and read your posts to see what you have become. A strong person is someone that knows when to say ENOUGH! I deserve better than this. As we see, the OP is a well established person. Maybe that is what you are missing. The OP also does not seem emotionally bankrupt like you, and is not willing to lay down and die for any human being at the expense of her future (kids). So leave your matter at the door, it does not apply here. You still have some years to be cheated on before you come to the realisation. If you want to measure how much this same guy love you, try cheating and telling him "Am sorry". Let your boyfriends call and insult you. When a guy doesn't care whether you stay or go, that relationship is OVER! When he gives the phone to other people to insulthis wife, that relationship is OVER. Maybe you snatched someone else's husband and are too afraid to look like the loser. So you justify yourself by saying all this. You are trying to set a very bad and pathetic precedent, which is a major turn off for any guy. No pride or self esteem. An emotional beggar.

Somebody needs a job, a hobby and a psychiatrist.

Wow, Aigboma sounds emotionally frustrated and trampled. No human being has a right to subject another to such. No human being has a right to make this short life miserable for anyone. OP made a choice to get married, and she is making the choice to get divorced. 10yrs is a long time to make it work. Not because you have been emotionally manipulated and so desire to keep your title doesn't mean others take themselves for granted like you. If OP was my sister I will get her the lawyer. Life preservation should be your first concern. Live for your kids, not for any spouse. So many diseases out there that will take your life. No one will take care of your kids like you. And your parents, if that is your back up plan will die sooner than you think. Nigeria is dangerous to live in already, why increase the rate at which you die? You only live once, and everyone is entitled to as much happiness as they want. OP, if this is how you feel and what you have experienced, you are on the right path. Goodluck. The people fighting you for him will win a lottery when they marry the guy.

Ib: In my opinion, i feel that the issues in this marriage has to do with the fact that both parties esp the husband do not understand this important requirement for marriage: Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh” (Genesis 2:24 KJV). Other translations render “leave and cleave” as “leave and be united” (NIV), “leave and be joined” (NASB), and “leave and hold fast” (ESV).

To “cleave” means “to adhere to, stick to, or join with.” It is a unique joining of two people into one entity.

If either spouse fails to both leave and cleave, problems will result in a marriage. If spouses refuse to truly leave their Parents, Friends, Extended family, Sometimes a sport or hobby or activity, Our selfish ways or Anything else that might come in the way of our ability to bond with one another, conflict and stress result. Leaving your parents does not mean ignoring them or not spending any time with them. Leaving your parents means recognizing that your marriage created a new family and that this new family must be a higher priority than your previous family. If spouses neglect to cleave to each other, the result is a lack of intimacy and unity. Cleaving to your spouse does not mean being with your spouse every moment or not having meaningful friendships outside of your marriage. Cleaving to your spouse means recognizin

g that you are joined, essentially “glued,” to your spouse. Cleaving is key in building a marriage that will endure hard times and be the beautiful relationship that God intends it to be.

I dont mean to go all church......however, if partners understand this very key concept, this situation would not have occurred.

Yea sure, as long as it concerns you there should be cleavage. But when fight start or it is time to share property you remember you once came from a family.You wan enjoy the spoils, you no wan bear the responsibility. Madam cleavage.

andyanders: I think poverty is the cause of this problem of food. Where you are comfortable, food is the least thing you think of. I believe poster that you grew up in a family where meat is counted and food is treasure.

In a comfortable home, every matured person can go and take the quantity of food he or she wants. It is only when you are a stranger that you cannot dish food from the kitchen. Unless you have issues and also this man must have observed that you attached so much importance to minor issues. With this, you must have problem with your husband and sister in=laws when they come visiting or come staying with you.
Please try to accommodate everybody and do not allow worldly issues to destroy your home.

I wan laugh die for this comment. OP, you know you have messed up when Andy Anders doesnt recommend SCOAn for you. E don be like sey your matter don pass SCOAN power. But he has a point. hahahahahaha

Outstrip: It does not matter where they live. Wrong is wrong. Like I said it is obvious that the man has already been bad mouthing his wife to family. So knowing that would you not agree that she going to that pot was meant to be an insult to the woman of the house. Keep in mind that I do not do those traditional things. if someone lives with me I am okay with cooking and them serving themselves. Let us call a spade a spade and not an instrument for digging. I agree she should not have left either. That is just the lazy approach to solving the problem. What message has that sent. He has already told his family that they can walk into the home and decide what food the child eats and they can call his wife and tell her that she behaving inappropriately. If she was such as arse do you think the sister will be able to call and give her a piece of her mind? I don't think so.

There is no wrong is wrong in this matter. Even the OP's friend can enter into her pot and eat without asking. Why not family? The husbands family has become your family, whether you like it or not. If you dont like the family, dont marry the man. Your family has also become his family. If at any time they are staying with you, you adjust and accomodate. Family is something you cannot throw away, so you better learn to live with it. If the crazy OP did not open way by insulting the sister first over something as small as food, the sister will not have the mouth to disrespect the OP. Respect begets respect. They way she treats her husbands family when he is there and when he is not there says a lot about how she respects him. The husband could have handled this very easily. Quite frankly the sister did nothing wrong. As long as we are not starving, why cant my sister eat when she is hungry. The man gave his sister his food, because a guy will rather starve than see his family go hungry. This includes his siblings and his wife or kid. Not because you are married, your own family becomes a distant memory. The OP has mental problems.

Outstrip: EPIC FAIL. This is where you guys start making mockery of your position in your home. Food he likely paid for. What if the woman was the bread winner then what? Most families depend on the two incomes to survive now adays. So murdar flipping what if he paid for the food? Good Lord. You have issues you need to deal with. With that mentality you already show that you have an inferiority complex. If the woman happens to carry the family for a little while you will probably make her life misreable because the only thing you believe you are good for you find that anybody with two legs and two hands can do

From what i read of the OP they live in Nigeria. Also, she ran away from the house, it is most likely HIS house. She is working, and apparently he also has a source of income. From what i know about Nigerian women in that situation, they collect money from their husbands, typical and cultural. If she is claiming culture forbids anyone from entering her pot, i assume culture allows the husband to also bring food money? Abi no be so?

Please when did personal property now become synonymous with food? Which was cooked for the house? a house in which the inlaws were staying in at the moment? Food that the brother most likely paid for? Lets compare apples with apples. If the sister in law entered the kitchen to cook for herself another problem abi? . Crazy OP. Is something that can spoil or replaceable worth spoiling your relationship with family? i pity you OP. Get yourself in the situation where his family hates you first, and see yourself packing out very soon.

I am against violence but this woman's story is not complete. I have gone over the story to see the violence but i dont see it. What does she mean by she went to feed her husband? Does the husband require feeding? Or you mean you went to serve him the food. Reading the story i think what she is trying to say is the husband refused her serving the food, and took her to the room to have a conversation outside the hearing of his sisters, which is very respectable. She most likely started fighting and he physically restrained her from leaving the room. This guy did not beat her. Like i said, this OP's is very immature and really very stewpid. Coming on NL to get sympathy is even more stewpid. Quite frankly this is a crazy story. You share a house. If your family can go into the pot and collect food, so can his. You cannot tell me in my house that my family has to take permission. As long as you are not feeding me, and i contribute my fair share. To take water or snacks will also be a problem i bet. If you have a problem with this, serve the food you want to store and your husband's food and leave the rest for everyone in the house. Simple solution to a simple problem. If more food is needed, simply ask the spouse with family in the house to provide more money. Stewpid lying OP. You just came to justify your childishness and immaturity by selling one sided stories. I hope the guy chases you out. This is very petty.

I just had to login to state how steewpid i think the OP is. All this trouble because your inlaw went to take food from the pot? What if she sat down and waited for you to serve her and bring it to the table. Another complaint abi? You are not mature enough for marriage. This is a very steewpid and unnecessary fight. Just tell the truth, you are the kind of sister in law that doesnt want their inlaws around.Does your sister come and beg you that they want to eat and you should come and serve their food before they eat? What if you are not around, they should starve to death? What a very crazy topic. Are you and your husband suffering so much that you cant afford the food? Abi wetin be the problem. Stop complaining about trivial issues. huh

LOL, the babe pretended to get married. Now she has gotten her goal, you are just seeing the real person she is. That is why it is better to marry someone who you know her good and bad side, than to marry a so called "good girl", that becomes a devisive monster after a few weeks of marriage. . OP take heart, she had become too comfortable. She doesnt know she needs her inlaws because of the high rate o divorce. Or if tomorrow they need help and you are the only one that can help, she just put a comma to her behavior and the kind of person she is. No one is too small or too big, we dont know tomorrow. There is no excuse to treating inlaws badly because they did not call. She should have let your brother handle that aspect, and should have gone on treating you as well as can be expected. When your brother starts misbehaving tomorrow, nor be una she go run come dey cry to? . Mumu girls.

edited

Very strange behavior. I dont think it is his eating it that is the problem but his addiction and the way he forcefully seeks the drugs out. Sorry OP, but you may have a future druggie or someone with addictive personality which would most likely be a druggie. These are kids where you have to discipline it out of them. Thorough discipline so that they understand limits and control their desires. Otherwise you have a potential future gbege on your hands.

Oh, this is a retirement plan not so? Obviously it will run its course. With a retirement plan, there is most likely also a life insurance with a heavy amount paid at his death if he did not retire before he died. Any way, you have access to the company and you know where and who they are. Contact them and let your mother find out who the next of kin is. If she is the one, then she has to discuss the use of going there physically. I think she will have to go in person to present herself and the necessary identification. Goodluck. Well, my bad, not calling you a liar, but you said pension not retirement plan.

(((GBOA))), you have finished them with facts on NL. Go on soun baba. awon da

Just change it back!!! Is this new interface cheaper? because na wa o. Seun you are trying to embezzle more money from your investors by putting up this cheap nonsense. Well the only good thing is that i cannot see the moderators threatening messages.

tales by moonlight. What if that is all the young couple can afford. Instead of them being grateful that they were being fed, they are complaining about the food. Well, seems like there have been underlying tensions that are not being discussed, and this is a way for them to explode on the babe. She should open us and tell use the real matter. This sounds like super story.

ROTFLMAO. mamagee the NL blonde is back in all her glory. Time did not change you. Mama gee, simply you were wishing and wishing and wishing to where your wishes came true in your dream. But reality and the dream world are different. The mind is a very advanced and complex organ.