₦airaland Forum

johhnnie:
I can feel what you and your siblings are passing through. I spent the greater % of my life experiencing the same. Have u  ever prayed to God that one of your parents should die so that the children would have  a measure of peace. That was the exact experie

Three days hardly passed by without serious arguments and violently getting physical. Many things in the house were spoilt over the years. We did not record peace until one of them dropped dead. It was a terrible growing up.

Many of us resolved not to marry.

And to many of us (marriage counselors on this group). Never advise people to stay put in their relationships when there are tell tale signs. It is not worth it.  It is worst than hell. The trauma is not explainable.  Better discussed than experienced. Do not marry anyone hoping that  one day you will both overcome shortcomings (whatever the shortcoming is as much as muchit poses something you worry about). Do not manage anyone. Life is so short to experiment with with an issue such as marriage.

Every relationship based on polity of lies and make belief end this way. It will continue until either of them drops dead. Nothing anyone of you can do except prayers. i mean it. It is hell. I wish you and your siblings well. The best thing you can do is to ignore them if you can't make them live separately . You have your lives to live. Only play your God given role by taking care of their basic needs.

we are all witnesses to what happened to the Wigwes( The embattled Nigerian Ambassador)

One moment, they are like the best of lovers. In the twinkle of an eye, hell will let lose. I remember all those cuts/ injuries etc.

The kids having to be roaming about in the dead of the night calling on neighbors for aids.


The Lord is your strength and He will teach you what to do.

i dont think the father has ever beat the mother. This is verbal abuse if i am understanding the OP correctly. And it seems to come from the two of them. . My parents used to argue a lot. And when my mom comes to stay, my father stalks and accuses us of keeping his wife and baby from him.  . They also turn against anyone that interfere in their arguments or take sides. Like they forgot who started the argument. We all just learned to listen and keep quiet. Also tell them that no one is willing to take them permanently if they decide to leave each other, you all have your problems. . Also, all of you the children have to agree to stick to the rule that their grand kids are not allowed to stay in their house if they keep fighting. So it is best they both learn to stop arguing. That will stop them for some months because they have no support, cant see the grand kids and no where to go if they misbehave.

Ask your doctor . I hear these days you can pick the sex of your next child. It is very expensive from what i hear. Or you can do abortion till you get a male? Depends on your level of desperation. But ask your doctor.

The house part is a bit suspicious

You will be surprised that this two cannot do without each other. The arguments and fights have now become part of their daily life. They give everybody around them high blood pressure but they remain healthy because this keeps them going. They also know that no one except the both of them will be able to put up with their characters. If you have a brother, tell him to invite dad over for a month or two, and mom should go for a month or two to another siblings house. You will see they will start stalking each other, because the excitement they get is no longer there. Some people have very strange marriages. . If they didnt kill each other 20years ago, trust me they feed off of each others wahala. Both of them are the same. If one dies, the other will follow or start talking about dying.lol.

@OP

Very important question. Nigerian's are users. That is why before they use you, make sure you have something to gain from them. They are very aggressive and have a serious crab in a barrel mentality. But do you blame them? Bad economy, government and morals. Even when they have and they think you have more, they will collect from you and runaway. When it is time to lend money, you will think they are almost dying but to pay back. .

horny4u:


Not good enough, expected much more.

This is assuming everybody on here is coming to live up to your expectations or anyone cares about it

The worst decision you can ever make. Discussions about your relationship should be between you and the other person in the relationship only. Not everyone you call friend is a friend, true friends are extremely rare these days. As you grow older you have only acquaintances. And most people are not happy with their lives so they will try to destroy the joys of others. You may think you have problems until third parties start giving you advice, then watch your relationship crash. Even family is not advisable, they are too emotional and will not be willing to forgive your partner after you both have moved on. When a family disagreement happens, watch them throw it back in your face. You also give others power over your relationship/life when you discuss personal details. Anonymous sites like nairaland are not bad though. It is impersonal which is better. Plus there are no secrets except one kept to ones self. peace.

Interesting . . . . . . .

prittigrrr:
Hello all. At the risk of being matched again, I have a few comments to share. I am divorced and during my marriage I raised my 3 stepsons. They are all grown now but when my ex proposed, I told him I would only marry him if I could treat the kids as my own. I loved them, sacrificed for them and fought for them. I also encouraged them to love their mother. When they would ask me, "mom, who should I love more: you or my real mom?" I would answer that they didn't have to choose since God had given them enough love to embrace the world! Though their dad and I split, we eventually became friends and my sons are still my beloved children. Don't lower your standards and wait for the one who loves you enough to want all of you including your children. Also, a wise woman will keep the love for mom alive because she knows mom is alive in you and your kids.

Just toast the guy. Why is Serubawon afraid to try this girl. Well i dont blame him. Nairaland was a way to vent so you may not want someone that has read your whole life story or can come back and put issues on Nairaland if anything goes wrong. You are entitled to protecting your family from this sha . Cos human beings cannot control their emotions some times. Pritti gir, i wish you the best. Hopefully Serubawon will not seru ba ara e with all his fears and reservations which are valid. Sorry for making fun of your username but just had to. .lol.

This is very sick. Never in my life did i expect that someone will come out openly and admit that they see church as business in which they should profit from or use as a source of income. Since when did ministry become a full source of income or a job. You and your husband are thieves and evil people with very bad intentions. If you attempt to start that ministry may you never succeed or escape poverty. It is your likes that produce prosperity preachers and mislead people. May God help us Christians from these wolves in sheep clothing.

Siena:
We never spoke pidgin growing up, our parents spoke to us in regular English. I will not encourage my children to speak pidgin either, it's of no benefit, as far as I'm concerned.

It's not about children being dumb, your remark is pretty crass. Why can't Nigerians accept that others will have different points of view, and not resort to becoming verbally abusive?

In my opinion, pidgin distorts regular English. This is apparent in graduates getting their tenses mixed up, and other grammatical blunders. One only has to watch Nollywood movies, or other Nigerian productions, during the credits, you can see the errors. Shame, that even when these productions are being edited, these errors aren't picked up. Some top Nigerian graduates make blunders when they're being interviewed on live television too. Often a mixture of pidgin and regular English.

You are entitled to your opinion, as i am entitled to mine. People should not excuse the inability of their children to juggle different languages. The fact that some people cannot speak correct English on TV shows the level of decay in schools. If your child cannot speak good English, then you need to withdraw the child from whatever school they are going to. The same excuse is made by parents about their ethnic languages. They say the accent will affect the child's ability to speak English correctly, this is bull as we know. The people that speak French, German, Italian and English excellently must be aliens. Laziness is no excuse. Just come to terms with the fact that either the parent or the child is not smart enough to handle different languages.

Are your kids too dumb that they cannot speak more than one language? A child's ability to juggle many different languages shows intelligence. . Nothing wrong with pidgin, it can open some doors same as polished english can. It is all about balance and a child's intelligence. There are some people that can speak pidgin and in the next minute converse in very posh english.

Double blessings

Maybe OP could look towards women that are single mothers . A spouse that has something in common with you may be better. Because there is no way a single woman without baggage will be perfect for you, because human beings are selfish naturally. A blended family might work in this case.

MAKABBEY:
I kown of a sister dat did abortion six times, and nothing happen 2 her, though she is in hopital right now for d sixth one.

We should just gather Fulani and Ijaw together in one area. 50% of Nigeria's problems will be solved that day. Is this a DNA issue or what.

Is this a joke? Superstory?

It is funny some times what some people come to ask on NL "What should i do?"

The day one of the victims will decide they want to be a rape activist and take the case to police and media houses, then your sister will be the wife of the yansh rapist. .

To me, this guy is a gay man, a gay man rapist for that matter. Also, the day he doesnt see a victim and is so pressed is the day he will descend on his daughter or son. Creating more yansh rapists in Nigeria . I dont believe this story though. Nigerian people will not just let this kind of thing happen, just like that.

Court is sanctioned by laws, church is blessed by God. But with church wedding you will still have to sign registry documents to make it legally binding. Church just has the religious angle to it, which to some is more important that they start their lives with God.

I never thought in my life time i will witness a male whiner. But this guy can whine and nag. . See epistles from page one to 10, all nagging and whining. No wonder the spouse is collapsing in bed. Guy just man up and stop whining. You are very excellent at picking out flaws and am sure you have more than your wife does. I am also sure you whine and say all these things that you have been saying here. Maybe you are not what she expected as well. This is the problem with old fashioned errr,  arrangement? I want to ask what deficiency you have physically, mentally and emotionally that you could not pick your own wife. There must be something character wise wrong with you. And i see from your writing that you may be an insecure and over critical person. You left the people that fit you to go and import someone you can control and oppress from Nigeria. Now you realize a human being is going to be a human being and not the robot you were hoping to design for yourself. You don enter am, carry your cross.

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IG:
And so what? Southern Libya used to be part of Kanem-Bornu. They were our subjects, it's good that they are coming with lots of gold. And since NATO openly collaborated with Al-Qaeda in ousting Ghaddafi, maybe the fleeing Libyans can do what our government failed to do; Neutralizing Boko Haram as a form of payback.

But seriously, this story is bullshit. No offence @2mch.

Tell that to punch and other news outlets, you can write them a letter or comment on the news. Surely they are not spreading false news. Youssef Dbiri is Nigerian and has decided to come back home. What are you people going to do about it? Nothing. He is Nigerian too, and has come back to mummy.

otooro:
i thought u wanted to provide a solution , i'm waiting to hear from u, tnx

Why will you invest in someone that will be of no value to you or to himself? So you are financing his coming to Canada to start fresh. Do you have the money to support him for another 4 years? Because once you open your pockets to this kind of request, be ready to support him through out his stay. After all you agreed to help him, you possible will not stand by and let him suffer in a foreign country.At least after his first degree he can get a job with his certificate and skills, and help himself out with what ever he earns. Before he makes the journey make sure he has a skill, even if it is as a barber, so he can help himself in canada if he doesnt get work immediately. All of this of course is if he doesnt have other motives for the money you will send to him to come to canada.

I think this information was directly from one of their inside sources. Because other wikileaks reports always cites the person gossiping, so this is not mere gossip. There is no way this woman will frolick with Obasanjo and come out clean. Even Obasanjo fired her for putting her hands too depp into the national coffers. She was becoming sharper than him. I heard about stories of allegations of corruption in her ministry and her surrounding herself by people that she "trusts only". But i guess even under lock and key, some people are willing to still sell what they know. Okonjo was not a saint and is no messiah. If she was, she will not risk staining her name with corrupt governments. I guess it pays more to be a Nigerian minister than a world bank VP

I dont know about Adenuga taking it over, but i believe the take over should be by a Nigerian Company. This is our national communication company. I am also assuming they will be in charge of land lines which a lot of our government parastatals will use. I dont think it is wise to put all of that information in foreign hands. No country does that even when they go private. They always use a firm that is indigenous to the country. National security issues once again i guess.

Look at all these mumu's pissing in their pants and blaming me. When did i become punch newspaper? You can be in denial all you want until Gadaffi comes on NTA tv station with "Hello my country fefle, this is a national broadcast. Remain calm" . Since when did it become so tasking to cross from Niger to Nigeria? 100's of Nigeriens do it everyday without being detected. Instead of trying to fix the issues you people are shouting propaganda. Dont you see one of Gaddafi's top officials has maternal roots in Yobe? When we get into trouble, who do we first call? Mummy na.

manny4life:
That U.S. has classified info doesn't mean that Paris, Britain et al who sit on the board as well don't have classified info as well. Why do u feel so confident that U.S. classified info is the SH/I/T. How they will get is because all nations who contribute to WBG have a governing treaty and in as long as Paris requests for information regarding to that effect, U.S. will honor the request. A classified material has two requirements; are you cleared to see the material, answer is YES, second do you have a need for that material "on a need basis" answer is YES.


The sad news is that it's just NOT ANYONE, these are Board member countries ok, and just because U.S. has info on her and classified doesn't mean France, Britain, Italy, Germany, Japan, China,and the others he don't have other classified materials on her as well. I never said U.S. is the one doing it, I clearly said the Board of Governors of the WBG or Member countries are the ones who does it because they contribute their nation money to WBG so they have vested interest. As for the guy who snitched, that's his problem not mine

LOL! You are assuming all these countries share spies? hehehehe. Everyone holds their cards tightly until it affects their foreign policy. Wetin concern them with world bank. Dont you think it favors these countries a lot more to have people they have something on in sensitive positions, who at a snap of their finger things can change in their favor. It is clear, the US does not need and does not owe anyone/ country any obligation to spill its intelligence. That is the edge they have over other countries, intelligence. Their spies are well placed, well payed and well spied on as well. Hope Nigeria learns a thing or two about intelligence gathering from this wikileaks saga, and start to seriously build theirs too. There is power in information. Iweala has been found out. She is not the first or the last looter. The point is her hands are not clean, and she is not a saint. Even El-Rufai was mentioned at, and he has not come out to deny.

[quote author=aloy/emeka link=topic=756816.msg9122427#msg9122427 date=1315709139]Half of them here do not know what is clearance. Okonjo will have up to level 3 clearance in the Us to be considered at all for that job and with such noose on her neck, they won't even try shortlisting her in the first place.[/quote]International organization like world bank? US level 3 clearance? buahahahahaha. funny stuff. World Bank is totally independent of any country. Lets take for instance IMF, the guy that was accused of raping an african, he had been accused of raping a french woman prior to becoming IMF chief as well. But did this come up? nope.

Maybe its time they have a serious vigilante group. Something like OPC to protect them since the government is incapable and at this point putting all their efforts on Boko Haram the international embarrassment.

manny4life:
I'm glad you said it's an "International Organization" and I don't know what classified info you're talking about, if you're referring to the cable, that belongs to U.S. obviously but has nothing to do with the Board of Governors of WBG. That does not prevent the BoGs from carrying out their investigation as matter of fact, people appointed into international organizational offices hold impeccable records, from finances / credit to personal background information to education et al. Yes her record is very significant to her policies because a corrupt leader with dirt is more than likely to lead in corrupt path, make corrupt decisions, likely to engage in corrupt practices and fraud et al. When you go to get a U.S fed job, particularly those with clearances with confidential, you MUST have impeccable Credit Checks, Background Checks must be CLEAN. Her being there with a dirty record of FRAUD doesn't speak high ethics and responsibility of the international organization

How is an international organization going to get classified american information? Some classified information, even the president of America is unaware of until it becomes relevant to their country. So, anyone can do background checks and not find anything. It is classified for a reason. The person that leaked all of this is facing life in prison. So this is not a small issue, it is a very big embarrassment. America has no reason to do background check for World Bank on Iweala, except it favors them. And at that juncture it didnt, but trust me this was an ace in their hands.

manny4life:
Madam at times replying you is just a waste of time; pouring water on rock.

WBG Executive Director Position which goes through intense Background Checks, Security Checks and even interim security clearance et al from Board of Governors of Rep countries is something your comparing to an appointed representative aide / envoy which i guess is unpaid.

Not supporting Kobo J, but you do realize that the World Bank is an international organization and this is classified information belonging to the US. If the US ddoes not deem fit to expose this information they wont. I dont think a country like the US will always show all its cards. I dont think her being in a transperent international organization has any effect on their policies. Her being there is even better for them. When they flash what they know she will do what they ask even in the World Bank.