₦airaland Forum

He should have campaigned well in the SW. Meeting traditional leaders and grassroots leaders. If his intentions were clear the SW would have voted for him. He relied too much on the population of the North.

Oil subsidy removal, failed N30bn scam, new taxation. The money has to come from somewhere. Since the oil is not doing it anymore these days they have decided to steal directly from Nigerian's pockets. Nigerians should refuse to pay tax if the government refuses to do anything to improve thier lives. This time monkey go work, baboon go chop for real. Nigerian's will now be working to fund politicians lifestyles. We know their intentions are not clear. It looks very desperate, though a valid move. But the series of events recently are very desperate. . I would think an SS man now in power will focus on federalism now that they have the chance. But our leaders are united in keeping sheep like Nigerians poor and uneducated.

You should know the man is not well. Prophet, Dr. Jurispudence D'Akinsanya-Arkisanya rotflmao.

Mental case gone wild. This is a family embarrassment right here except it was a mistake by the newspaper.

I guess this is his immediate need and worry. He has a full belly and does not have to worry about where his next meal will come from. The next thing is to legalize his illegal hobbies so that his girlfriends can be put on government payroll. Instead of these mumu's to face issues affecting Nigeria so that prostitution can be reduced, they want to legalize it. Anyway, remember no condition is permanent. Your grand daughter might find herself in this position one day. Maybe you are doing things with a futuristic perspective. retar*d

Lantean:
[b]Considering emotions flying high in Nairaland, I’ll say Muslims and Christians are so alike in everything – violence, ignorance, arrogance, hatred of each other, little knowledge of their Holy Books and their religious heads, especially, their religious head’s DOCTRINES.

1. Violence
Christians’ Accusation: Muslims are always out to bomb, maim, butcher… them because they believe in being rewarded with virgins.
Muslims’ Defence: The Holy Qur’an did say there would be reward for those who fight in defence of Islam. True.
Muslims’ Accusation: Christians plundered and killed in Europe too in The Middle Ages in the name of the Jesus for Catholic churches so they’ll be rewarded in heaven for giving their life for Jesus.
Christians’ Defence: It was the Catholic Church’s doing not the entire Christian world. And not all Christians are Catholics. True.

Observation:
• Extremists claiming allegiance with either religions did and do commit grievous acts.
• Muslims and Christians forget they are also accusing relatives, wonderful friends, nice neighbours… who are Muslims or Christians.
• Both Holy Books are true on the reward issue.

Opinion:
• Muslims and Christians shouldn’t be fooled that the extremists (Al-Qaeda, Boko Haram and Crusaders) are/were supporting God’s cause.
• A True, pious, faithful or devout Muslim or Christian would know ( without being sentimental) that were Jesus Christ and Prophet Muhammad alive, they would live in the same house, eat from the same plate/dish, talk, be fond of each other and would stand in defence of each other.
• I know this because they both preached TOLERANCE & LOVE.

2. Ignorance
Muslims’ Accusation: Christians don’t know anything about God that’s why they call God Jesus and vice versa.
Christians’ Defence: Muslims don’t understand the relationship between God and Jesus.
Christians’ Accusation: Muslims worship Prophet Muhammad and he was a blood-thirsty man.
Muslims’ Defence: Muslims worship Allah or God (in English) and Prophet Muhammad was following the instruction of God to defend himself and his brethren.

Observation:
• Muslims and Christians spend too much time telling the other what they think the other doesn’t know about his/her religion.
• While they spend little or no time in learning more about their own religion.
• Most don’t know Jesus Christ and Prophet Muhammad craved knowledge about their Creator: As a boy Jesus Christ enlightened elders in the Temple in Jerusalem while Prophet Muhammad taught spiritual enlightenment by questioning pagans’ sensibility over idol worship.

Opinion:
• Muslims and Christians indulgence in “low Blows” shows how little one understands of the other’s religion. Children… Slaves… why should either care what the other calls themselves? Isn’t the “end road” PARADISE?
• Both Christians and Muslims have forgotten that:
Jesus Christ chided people for condemning Mary Magdalene for her sins. And Prophet Muhammad warned Muslims that Allah despises those who think they will gain Paradise just because they observe the Five Pillars of Faith.
• Neither takes the pain in reading the other’s Holy Book without an intent to criticise but to understand the other’s perspective without accepting or rejecting it. It’s called Objective Reading and it’s possible.

3. Arrogance
Both Muslims and Christians express their arrogance by claiming being better or true believers of God than the other.
Christians’ Defence: Giving your life to Jesus makes you a child of God and you will ultimately gain Paradise.
Muslims’ Defence:  All creations are slaves of Allah and submission to Him is the only way to Al Janat (Paradise).

Observation:
• Both Muslims and Christians are always saying things to criticise each other’s relation with their God.
• Should it matter to others how you regard your relationship with God?

Opinion:
• Both Muslims and Christians worry themselves dead over people knowing their relationship God.
• This begs to tell that Muslims and Christians only want people to know that they are this or that someone to recon with. That’s rather SHALLOW of ANY BELIEVER.

CONCLUSION:
• Only a FOOLISH MUSLIM will call an EXTREMIST a Muslim at all. Have you forgotten Prophet Muhammad didn’t wage way without PROVOCATION? And those wars were mandated by Allah NOT based on the Prophet’s will.
• His first war was instituted by Mecca pagans. The people of Medina supported him because they believed him to be a good man but the people of Mecca to be trouble makers.
• He was a man who led every campaign from the front not the rear and you dare compare the Holy Prophet to a bunch of COWARDLY-RICH-AND-BORED people posing as deputies of the Prophet. While they send fools like you to go out and cause chaos.
• Only a FOOLISH CHRISTIAN would open his mouth to disgorge nonsense about another man’s religion. Little do you know if Jesus were here he would disassociate himself with you because, despite reading the Bible, you are not following his teachings.
• You call yourself a TRUE CHRISTIAN, how many GOOD DEEDS have you kept yourself busy over since the beginning of the year. NONE!
• Rather, you would RAP YOUR MOUTH like a FOOL about another religion when you can’t tell (without consulting the Holy Bible) the name of Ruth’s mother-in-law.
• Good for you if you’re a Child of God. Leave people who call themselves Slaves be.
• And good for you if you are a Slave because you want to humble yourself. Leave Children of God alone.
• How many PAGAN SOULS has either of you saved from damnation to hell? Nada! But you would rather exhibit your stupidity by pointing fingers at each other.
• Humble Slaves, how many Christians (who are not relatives) have you associated with this year in your quest to follow Prophet Muhammad’s teachings of relating with people to show that Islam is a religion that encourages friendship, peace and other positive situations.
• Dear Child of God, How many Muslims (who are not relatives) have you associated with this year in your quest to follow Jesus’ teaching that you must not only condemn but can also associate with them because there is some good in them? Consider Mary Magdalene’s case.
• I say Muslims and Christians are a bunch of fools. They turn on each other and abandon the pagans, the very people God intended all His messengers to preach to so they would not be damned, the same people our religious heads are supposed to convert to either Christianity or Islam. NOW THEY MAKE FUN OF OUR IDIOCY. HOESTLY, OUR STUPIDITY IS BEYOND WORDS.
• WE’VE PROVEN IT BY LUNGING FOR EACH OTHER’S THROAT OVER THE PERFECT RELIGION.
[/b]

Muslims and their actions represent their religion. Instead of trying to justify nonsense by creating comparisons, you should be more interested in proving that your religion is a religion of peace by denouncing terrorism. It is only the muslims in the SW that have done this. I am yet to hear one imam in the north out rightly denounce terrorism around the world. When Nigerian muslims start to denounce terrorism other African countries like mumu somalia will take note. Soon terrorist groups will know that Nigeria has low tolerance for this dumbness. Charity begins at home, and in this place your mosques. Until then, stop wasting your time with all these dull justifications. Mutallab needs to be Mutallabed. They should wrap him in explosives in the middle of a desert.

If you know you are not ready to take on another mans responsibility, Mr. Adviser mind your business o. If the girl has come to you that she is fed up with the  arrangement, advice her to get a job to finance her education if that is what is important to her. She can leave the house but be ready for a very hard life to achieve her goal. if you know that you cannot help in anyway financially then leave the matter. If she did not ask you for help and you are carrying another person's problems on your head, i say OP mind your business. If you are sure she is brilliant enough, philanthropists like Gani Fawehinmi have scholarships for brilliant less privileged kids.

You cant tell people what to do with their lives and how to live. You are not in his shoes and you cant see life from where he is standing. For him to come and beg you shows economically he cannot afford mother and child. It is always the woman's decision at the end of the day, if the girl agrees then there are no problems. Quite frankly i will rather an abortion than an adoption in Nigeria. i dont ever want to think that my child is a house boy/girl or even being molested in one orphanage somewhere in Nigeria. At worst being sold to ritualistic people. There is no child welfare, i will rather not make the child go through being up for adoption in Nigeria.

I think if you know your place in the family, and stop the spirit of competition (with the mother) where you absolutely cannot win, you will not have a problem. Also, drop the thinking that people are out to get you or nobody likes you. Try to not read meaning into every sentence. You can never take the place of his mother so dont even attempt. 9/10 it will backfire. And you will always be on the defensive where people will begin to dislike you. Take advice or criticism with a smile. Just maintain your space, respect yourself and respect your mother inlaw and you should have no problems.

Dede1:
The last time I checked though, Ibadan was the capital of the all encompassing development driven Oodua nation and the pride of cocoa revenue induced WNDC.

Yet the brains behind Oodua and WNDC did not find it necessary to develop Ibadan instead they goofed over to Lagos. Not even Abeokuta was remembered in the scheme of things from the seat of government in Ibadan. This scenario is unlike the Yoruba people I know.

In the other hand though, the shameful claim of Lagos as the brain child of Yoruba industrial magic resourcefully reminded me about the real Yoruba that I know.

Who are you to tell Yoruba's which land to develop? Dont you see Ibadan? And before the Nigerian entity or the invasion of the british Yoruba's have been moving to Lagos in droves because of its access to the sea. Lagos's success has always been its location and nothing else. Dont jump before yourself here. It has always been a hub and more advanced than others, this is a fact. Before Nigeria was an entity people from all parts moved to Lagos. So, Lagos is the brain child of Yoruba industry. And dont forget Yoruba's are city dwellers unlike Igbo's that live in Village communities historically. This is why Ibadan, Abeokuta, Lagos, Akure and so many southwest states have very big cities. Ibadan has always been a big city even from historical accounts.

Dede1:
What tends to generate this type of nonsensical analogy? Lagos was a nation’s capital development from capital fund set aside from the national coffer.

Lagos has always been what it was, that is why it succeeded regardless of being a nation's capital. Considering allocation, does it get as much as the delta for its size? If all that made Lagos was government allocation it should have collapsed by now. So shattap your useless mouth there. mumu. Lets take a look at Calabar or even Abuja? So spare me that crap. In 100 years they can never be Lagos. This just shows how hypocritical and double mouthed you are. . Yoruba's should never fall for that no mans land crap because if hte shoe were on the other foot we see the reaction. Just from small Onitsha talkless of a state like Lagos.

elisabet51:
Exactly! I have documents and letters from EFCC and the case is still in their files. Don cannot enter another country i made sure of that. He has a criminal record in the Uk and spend time in jail for fraud. As of contacting newspapers I already did that. Further the story and his name is all over the internet. He's a coward hiding behind other people. The business in Lagos is mine.

If the business is registered under your own name, including the assets then you can take your case to court. Consider researching and getting a competent lawyer to plead your case. They will freeze the assets and close down the company pending investigations. Make sure you revive the case in the newspapers before you take it to court. If all of this happened in Lagos, you have a better chance of recouping your investments or recovering your property. You must have all legal and valid evidence. If he attempts to come up with fraudulent documents in court, he will be arrested. . Do your research well and find a SAN's office to take up the case for you.

So, whats YOUR OPTION(S)?:
1.)Would your wife change her mind? After 8yrs, l dont think so. Infact, forget it, you cant have a child by her!

2.) Wife #3? A dangerous possibility but then "you're falling in-love with her" and men are stewpid when they fall in love; they cant think rationally and like someone pointed out, what if She wont/cant bear you kids nko?
What will you do? Wifey #4? Naaah, stop hopping around man, you no be Grasshopper now, abi?

3.) [size=16pt]My suggestion: Since l am convinced that what you need is your own biological children, IMPREGNATE A WOMAN (any sane woman) and LET HER DELIVER THE CHILD FIRST and FOREMOST. Dont give yourself out again on this one o! Rein-in your emotions.
Check me out properly o![/size]

[size=16pt]a.) I did not say marry a woman or the woman (dont complicate your situation with further marriages right now.)
b.) I mean just "impregnate any fertile woman" (adult and of-age, of-course! Grin ). Support her till baby is delivered.
Then ask yourself and herself, if marriage is for both of you afterwards![/size]

[size=16pt]Advantages:[/size]
1.) You will have solved your biggest headache.
2.) You could still keep your "wife #2", (if you still want her or if she still wants you; Thank God its not a legal marriage, she for show you pepper! Grin).
3.)[size=16pt] The new "mother of baby"[/size] might even decide she does not want to marry you or just wants to be paid-off (like surrogacy)
4.) You can shop-around for a wife #3 then (if thats your wish), without the pressure of "l want a child", maybe just for pure love and bliss!
5.) [size=16pt]At times, one cannot get all we want in a "single product".[/size]
(I like Volvo cars for strength but l like Toyota for fuel efficiency and l like the ruggedness of Mercedes cars but can l get all these attributes in one car? Dont think so! So, l buy a Volvo first and sell it later, buy Mercedes next and sell  it later and now that fuel is getting costly, maybe its time to get a Toyota! Wink ). Since wifey #2 cant give you your won biological kids, [size=16pt]get it elsewhere and she can remain if she wants or since she is not even "your real wife" (women consider the first wife, the real wife, right?), she can go back to her being a widow[/size].
(Who the heck came-up with the car-analogy on this thread! Shocked Shocked )

But please, be careful in jumping into another "marriage".  It can cause you a lot of grief!
[size=16pt]Marriage should be off-limits for you. You can have a child without being married (White peeps call it "partner" or "cohabiting", No strings attached! Wink[/size]

Remember the saying: When disaster comes, it does not come singly! They come in droves!
You have a 90% probability of making another mistake, as per marrying another wife!
[size=16pt]In your position, your judgement about marriage is just no longer reliable (it is beclouded by your "need" and you will likely make another fatal error unless you sort out that "biological need" first.[/size]

See why l say its not going to be "ice-cream, lovey-dovey" stuff? Brutal stuff!! Grin Grin Wink

Lastpage.

BTW: Be careful, if this "possible wife #3" knows you're desperate for a child, you're finished! That your "weakness" would be used against you, all the remaining days of your life and it wont be amusing at all.
I pray that you will use wisdom, even from above.
Cheers.

You should have ignored the post. Because this is very shady advice. Once again, is this an advice you can apply in your personal life? This post is filled with what i accused you of, i did not pick certain parts. i have highlighted your advice and it seems to fill out the whole quote. If it is something you can do, fair enough. Otherwise . And she is his real wife, customary marriages are recognized just in case you do not know.

Such anger, at the thought of Hausa indigenes. Interesting,  When it comes to Lagos though, they say no mans land. Well well, Onitsha is no mans land, nor vex. Besides historically it was occupied by Bini, so there may be an element of truth in what he is saying.  . So there will definitely be a lot of people with Bini ancestry in Onitsha, reason why they would not be able to chase them out during Biafra. You will have to chase the royal family.

She is already biased, she will hang him without considering the facts of the case. The fact that she was embarassed by the incident shows that she will not believe any insanity plea by Mutallab. They need unbiased people, and people that will give Mutallab a "fair" trial. . This is not a racial issue. It might have been on the recommendation of his lawyers.

Why do these people buy cars every term? There are some reps that were reelected, does this mean they will have 2 new cars? And by the way, when did it become to responsibility of Nigerians to buy casr for them? I am sure each rep has transportation allowance. They should use that. Nigerians should not be responsible for buying new cars for them.

If you want to pursue the case, do you have the documents from EFCC? You can forward them to Interpol, just for their records. Anytime he tries to fly to Europe . Although it will be a lot harder to prosecute because the crime happened in Nigeria. You left your country to Nigeria. So it is up to the Nigerian government to take up the case and pursue it. Quite frankly i suggest you take it as one of those life lessons we learn everyday. The Nigerian system is corrupt, so it will be hard for you to make headway. If the business is truly yours you can take the case to court and contact newspapers to put the story out there since he is a popular individual.

lastpage:
@Chaircover.
Thanks very much for your last post.
Very thought provoking and done with honesty.
I agree with you  on a lot of things there, especially that part that says "Happiness comes form God".
I stated that earlier in one of my first post on this topic. "Wo/Man happiness should not be predicated on another Wo/Man". We are all infallible humans.
Only a personal relationship with God can guarantee you fulfillment and (or) happiness.

Having said that, there are times when we not only need "To Pray" but we also need to "Work" so that we can get "Work and Pray"!

In essence, these are periods of life when "Practicality" is needed.
You can pray to God for food and sustenance but if l sits on my fat bum all day long,  "Heaven WILL ONLY HELP those who help themselves"!

Your suggestion caters for "his emotional well-being" and that is good.
Right now, what does he need to do, to take care of his "Physical Well-being"?

Remember that we dont all have the same "capacity to deal with stress"!
What would "kill me" might just be a "joy-ride" for another person!

Assuming a woman marries a man who constantly beats her and strips her of her dignity, am l to play the Ostrich and hypocrite by telling her to continue to beg him (even after she had tried to beg him and has asked "elders" to beg him)?!

Would l offend God if l ask her to "stay-away" for some time, hoping the psychopath will get his senses back?
Would l be wrong if he does not change his ways and Madam (assuming she is just 29yrs and has no children) wants to find fulfillment in life by wanting to divorce the "weere" and find love elsewhere?

This is the "PRACTICALITY" of Life!
Or should l then use a different "Yardstick" now because "a man" is at the receiving end?

No one wants to "bell the Cat" as it is safer to "play ostrich". (Am not in anyway referring to you Maam)

Unfortunately, that is not my own nature (it has put me in trouble a few  times sha ), l am so outspoken but l say what l think is right and am very responsible to my conscience, always.

Please do have a great day.


Lastpage.


BTW: And "Cheetah02", take it easy, for everybody's sake.
I am not your Doctor 'cos we are thousands of miles away from each other, even if you be winch, you couldn't have seen me in person!
God will strengthen you and give you wisdom.

I dont know, but advising someone to do things you will not do in your personal life is . Will you put your hand inside a burning flame? So why ask him to go and have a baby mama. This was your first advice before you changed positions. That he should have a baby mama while married. Will you want yourself or your daughter in that situation?

Its best you act like nothing happened or nothing has changed until you do the test in 6 months. If you are positive, then you might as well stay for your own selfish reasons as well. We dont want you infecting other people out of anger. . But if you are negative and you cant carry on with it then you have to move on. She acted selfish and is still acting selfish, so you have to act selfish for the first time in your life in this relationship. Dont act different please so that she doesnt get desperate and find other means to make you stay. . You dont have to tell any of her family or yours about her personal business. When the time comes, she will tell them herself. Remember she is still the mother of your child, though you may not be able to be with her but you still owe it to her to protect her business and respect her wishes. We hope if you move on in future, you know better how to behave. HIV does not show on the face, protect yourself always. You may be one of those rare people that have little immunity to the disease, this is if you dont already have it.Goodluck.

Official maga of the century, here take biscuit. You are a maga becaus 1) You were having sex without condom before marriage without necessary STD tests. 2) you got married withput testing. 3) You did titanic (I believe people should take a step back and reconsider when there are objections, it may just be God giving you a chance to reevaluate). 4) You are still having sex without condom. Now I suggest you act selfishly because your wife is looking out for her own interest. If she was a sane, and unselfish person she will never suggest you have sex without condom. She wants you to catch the disease so you cannot leave. That is very wrong and sick. If I were you I will cut at the first suggestion. You are blessed because God has been giving you so many chances and protecting you, but one day you will catch it. My thought is they found out before you, this is why the dad suddenly had a change of mind. This is where you become maga for the 5th time. They were hoping you will have sex and catch it so that they can say she contracted it from you. What you need to do is start using condoms for 6 months and go back to test. If you are negative by God's grace then its time to do DNA test for your child and leave the situation. Human beings are so wicked. Did you read the story similar to yours where the husband injected the wife with his blood so that they will both be positive? If your wife was sane and unselfish she would be more interested in the other parent being healthy for the child just in case of any unforseen or unfortunate event. Shine your eyes.

We thank God. People will now start using their God given brain to do things. No more oil money, poverty in the land. Nigerian leaders wil now settle for fighting for agege bread and ewa agoyin. . On the positive side, Nigeria may see an increase in entrepreneurs. Lets hope for the next steve jobs.lmao.

tunnytox:
Some men no get shame sef! Toasting a married woman?

They give you their husbands hard earned money for your small girls, and you dont have to deal with the emotional wahala. Best arrangement actually.

PointB:
Another hypocritic pops up.

The point is that 'clueless' Jonathan have done better job caging contract inflation than the almighty fashola. This bridge should be probed. EFCC should shine their light on this. This is corruption on a massive scale! Fashola clearly cannot be ignorant of this massive looting; I bet he his a hand in it. The buck stops on his desk. Very disgrace and shameful, coming from Fashola! Lagos tax-payers are indeed suffering!

At N944m/ 10 schools. hahahahhaha. Please kindly jump over Falomo bridge.

The operative word here is "asking.", not "asked". Where did you get this your wife and how old is she? Asking means she is giving the guy some kind of green light. Maybe being desired makes her feel good and she wants you to know she is still wanted outside. If she behaved like a respectable married woman, the man will respect your family and will not keep saying it doesnt matter shes married. Maybe she responds to him "oh, but you know i am married nooow, i like you but i am married oooh". Body language and reactions determine if people will keep trying. It seems you have a childish person on your hands. You can inform her that if she is encouraging such she can pack her bags and leave. And the next time she comes to tell you that someone is disrespecting your marriage because she has given the space for rubbish talk, she will go and meet him.

Yes, construction workers in Nigeria are not cheap. The people that will supply that kind of labor will inflate the prices. This is Nigeria we are talking about! Anything imported is double the price not to talk of a bridge that was built in a limited time frame. Even foreign companies that come into Nigeria catch the bug and all inflate their prices. Nothing Fashola would be able to do about that, they know how the corrupt system in Nigeria works. Cunny man die, cunny man bury am. If you want cheap prices and bridges start with trying to make corruption illegal. This is business as usual in Nigeria.

bridges are not cheap, especially quality bridges. Plus these contractors have to pay staff, buy materials and make a profit. I dont think it is outrageous if it is a soundly built bridge. Construction workers are not cheap at all. Fashola am sure is learning about allocating costs and profit with infrastructure. With fourth mainland bridge we home he does his homework well. As long as he is doing projects we can see, then we thank God. Not like N900M+ for 10 schools that still look like chicken coop.

A country ruled by short men with Napoleonic complex . And we expect Nigeria to be what

Such mumurity. People should learn to trust in God and not man's vision. Am sure she is a zombie, no mind of her own. This type of people are the best candidates for religious cults. All a pastor should be doing is counseling and marrying people. Not becoming a sooth Sayer. Such blasphemy.

Like the old Yoruba people will call it "Amola!". That hot swallow that retains heat!!!

Are you trying to fry the child's intestines?!

[quote author=cheetah@02 link=topic=774327.msg9282451#msg9282451 date=1317832762]The lady i am involved with at the moment is not a gold digger. She is comfortable to an extent. I know she is not after material things- come to think of it, how much do i even have now. She has not even agreed to marry me. I am the one bugging her with that request. Sometimes she just shuts down on me when i pressure her with the issues of marriage because she is scared that she loves me to the extent she cant say no to my proposal. She is begging me to please go back to my present woman and beg her to at least agree to the surrogate mother idea. I dont want to leave this girl, she is all that gives me joy at the moment. Assuming things were different i know she would not have hesitated in marrying me. She (my girlfriend) is hurting seriously, i am hurting because of the situation we have found ourselves in. For God's sake this stress has taken its toll on my health- at what age, i am just 37 to be 38 in december for crying out loud. Is it fair that i should go through this.

When i met the widow, she didnt say anything about her inability to concieve. she didnt say she has had 4 C-sections. Yes we discussed on having our own kids at least 2, but she has reneged on that. The way and manner i am being treated is absurd. This whole thing has been on for a while, but i decided to stay put, thinking she would change.

As i stand now, i dont mind leaving the house with just my boxers and starting all over again. I dont see my life lasting another 2 years if i continue like this.

@lastpage
i spoke to my lawyers on changing the title documents to my name only, but they said i will need her consent to do that. Secondly leaving my house for another place would be a little painful because i built that house. Did i do wrong by marrying her and taking care of her kids. Is it right that i should be repaid in this manner

I am ashamed to say this, whenever i'm alone in the office or at home- i shed tears (as a man!) because this is just too much for me to handle. Right now as i speak to you, my girlfriend has relocated from her house to her aunt's place- she said she wants to be alone to make the right decisions. The truth is i dont want to loose that girl, she is all that gives me joy. Yes when we met, she didnt know i was married (yea, my bad), but as soon as we became serious- i just had to let her into the truth. My parents have met her and everyone likes her. I dont want to go to the streets and get any girl pregnant- Will they get pregnant and dump the baby with me or my mum? I want a home, where the children will have a father and mother, a home when my son is ill, i will as a man take him to the hospital, a home where the mom is there is put on little pink ribbons on my daughters hair while preparing to go to church. I just need a home and i am willingly to give all i have to have that now.[/quote]Now that i have a better understanding, you live and you learn. I am all for people being happy, but based on the fact that all efforts at reconciliation has been exhausted. You keeping an outside relationship as your marriage is going on is bound to cause this kind of issue. Take some time to think about this well, i hope you are not infatuated. I suggest you take steps to move out. I dont see why if you bought those properties, you cannot change the name on it, except you and your wife bought those properties together and had to sign the documents together. You know the chances of her signing off ownership are slim to none. For now, scout around for a place to rent. Make sure you have at least 2 years rent and a years living allowance based on the needs for you and your son. Then pack all the essentials and move to this place first, before informing your wife on your decision to quit the marriage. Start with a separation first. Although it is a traditional marriage, you guys have been married for 8 years, this marriage may be valid by the court. During this separation you can both decide how to share the properties jointly owned. Either she gives you money for your interest or you buy her out. At least you have learned another lesson that you put properties in your kids names, create a trust or create a will. Dont make this mistake again. Just in case you dont find happiness. Also, even if at the end of the day things with this new girl dont work out, you will find someone else. Just take some time. You dont always have to be in a relationship or marriage. Focus on your son, he is the most important thing, instead of relying on women to fill some emotional need or want. A traditional divorce simply involves the woman's family returning the bride price you paid. You also dont want to put this woman's life at risk, what if she loses her life what will happen to her own biological kids? With any new person take your time. Make sure you do all the blood tests and fertility tests early on for compatibility. Also look to God for guidiance and comfort not humans.The length of the union though will make the courts recognize the union for sharing of properties.

Na wa o. OP, did you enjoy it when she was your girlfriend? What are you afraid of? That your daughter will want to wear G-string? Ehen, so you can knack other people's daughter's with G-string but when you become a father you remember that it is immoral.

This seems like a call for attention. OP, do you spend enough time with your family? There are people like you who are superman to everyone else but their families. My father was one of these. . Money is not always the answer, your family also need your presence. Even if it is that you take vacations together, and spend as much time as possible doing family activities. No matter how much money you give, it will never be enough. Sit down with your wife and communicate. Somehow i think a lot of issues have been swept under the rug with your busy schedule, and this bad character is a response.  . This person is obviously trying to get your attention in the most destructive manner possible. Call her family and tell them that she has moved out of her home. If she intends to stay out permanently, she should vacate your house she is living in. Hopefully this does not backfire, but you have to put your foot down.

This poster is not speaking the whole truth in the role he played in the break down of this marriage. i dont think he cared too much about the woman on the onset, but what could be gained. OP, i dont trust the act you have put up here. You seem to complain a lot about the woman, and you are here looking for support on your decision. You have already made up your mind, but you are looking for like minds to reaffirm your position. Look, you say you are in love. If i had money and was married, and i cheated on my wife i dont think i will ever get to the point to believe that the girl i am cheating with is in love with me. A small girl who can get a younger more active boy will all of a sudden fall madly in love with me. We both know this your relationship is a relationship of mutual understanding ( money for sex). In your quest or desperation you have confused it with love. If that girl can agree to be a baby mama for life, believe me you will pay dearly for it. You will never be comfortable and will always be scared about the secret you have. Every amount she will request from you will be x1,000,000. Having a child outside will complicate your life x100. You dont know people until you are married to them or joined by something (a child). The good thing is the current wife is of a traditional marriage. It can be easily dissolved. I personally suggest you take your time to find someone that is on your financial level and someone you can build a home with. Also remember to discuss all the things that are important to you before getting married to this new person. I suggest you divorce this second wife first. And be free to live your life. I suspect you have been caught cheating or your second wife knows you are cheating. . Always remember though, not every woman you meet will be able to give birth. You may marry a woman with problems giving birth.