Benita27:
He's not my husband, so why shld i?.

Doesn't he have a family, or papa?.

what kind of thinking is this na ? so if you are about to lose your home he should not help you out cuz you are not his wife ? walahi talahi i pity the man that will end up with you.

Benita27:
Marriage!.

Men should marry a lady that views dating has a one-sided spending affair? And when she becomes a wife, she sticks to her one-sided spending policy, then the man later complains ?
He has seen the drawings on the wall of her one-sided monetary policy !!!!

nuelzz04:
so if I play her dad's role....wat will b her dad's job den

And by asking her to spend on you, what role is she playing?.

Benita27:
That's how is meant to be.

said by who....wen am datin a gal wateva i gv must be on myvolition not obligation......if u want to do hair,go to ur father,if u want to buy gucci bag, go to ur old man...abi he broke lyk u

AlphaCentauri:
what kind of thinking is this na ? so if you are about to lose your home he should not help you out cuz you are not his wife ? walahi talahi i pity the man that will end up with you.

You don't need to pity him.

He will adore me. what i'm saying is, in doing all that, there's no guarantee he will marry you, don't forget that heartbreak is inevitable.

pussyAvenger:
said by who....wen am datin a gal wateva i gv must be on myvolition not obligation......if u want to do hair,go to ur father,if u want to buy gucci bag, go to ur old man...abi he broke lyk u

You don't have any business in asking a lady out.

hardbody:
https://www.nairaland.com/3246211/advice-needed-please#47844774

This post is yours, the only other post you have on NL, you must be a hustler or very ostentatious, or worse still a scum of the earth. Get some self worth, it helps.

Benita27:
You don't need to pity him.

He will adore me. what i'm saying is, in doing all that, there's no guarantee he will marry you, don't forget that heartbreak is inevitable.

I didn't know girls are so scared of heartbreak. I am now fully aware why you are so scared about spending on your boy friend.

Benita27:
And by asking her to spend on you, what role is she playing?.

take ur tym n read my post ...m not saying d guy shudnt spend...I said der shud b a balance .....balancing it means d guy ain't playing daddy roles neither do d gal.... Tanchu

Benita27:
You don't need to pity him.

He will adore me. what i'm saying is, in doing all that, there's no guarantee he will marry you, don't forget that heartbreak is inevitable.

well i hope you are very fine. because only then will men put up with this your nonsense mindset. but if you no fine ? just forget it, no man go stay. i hope say you fine like beyonce or alicia keyes for your own sake.

Benita27:
You could be absolutely drunk.

He that wears the financial shoes, knows how tight it is. She that simply only wants to spend the money, feels or demands the pot is more buoyant beyond redemption

Let me sound this to every lady following this thread. There is nothing wrong in spending on your guy if he is not a lazy and stingy type he deserves it.

Relationship is all about building up to marriage. If you cannot spend on your boy friend because you are scared he might dump u then you are not for real. What you practice in dating a guy you will take into marriage because if a guy you haven't spent on becomes your husband you may end up repeating the same behaviour which would likely make the marriage to crashed. Reciprocating is very paramount in relationship because it builds confidence and make partners to make plans and execute plans.

Only kids says I can't spend on man.



My two cents anyway.

Benita27:
You don't have any business in asking a lady out.

lady ke??these ones that crave for my attention anyhow..



see babe this is 2016...una too plenty to cause anybody headache...ladiesz?hahahaha..
...na false sense of high worth they kill una.


ladies get me stuff and i dnt hesitate to reciprocate because i knw they hv fish brain

dat was how one gal told me how he helped a' big boy' with 20naira.hmmmm.
.
we laughed ooo but dat was d moment i deleted her in my mind

she s still hoping for d day i will ask her out but na metusalah go judge her matter


babe!!men of honour respects women of honour....we are nt as stupid as we appear

stop spreadin d news of how u helped a guy because it makes u look lyk a shylock- someone who can kill for help rendered to others..dats creepy u knw

Benita27:
.

Never develop the habit of spending on a guy you're dating, there's no harm in helping them when they're in need, What "real men" want is a faithful lady, not one that spends on them.
- You're totally wrong! There's nothing wrong to spend on a man! No man would tell you that he doesn't want a woman to spend on him. If you as a woman likes it then why won't a man? The problem is that, a typical Nigerian woman wants a man to do everything for her while she does nothing to assist! Some Nigerian women think when they have sex with you, they're doing you a favor, which is nonsense! As if women don't enjoy sex too! Men please, stay away from such women, they're totally useless. A modern man wants a woman who can also contribute financially in the relationship.

To some spending on them reduces their self worth, even in marriages when a lady is the bread winner of the family, the men are not so happy, so why should your boyfriend be happy when you're the one doing virtually everything for him?, when such a relationship crashes, he has nothing to lose but you.
- A man could lose his job or be paralyzed, so why should he be sad that his woman is helping? Unless the man naturally has low self esteem. A good man would like to contribute but won't be unhappy that you help.

Imagine if all you do is:pay his school fees, pay rents, cook for him with your money whenever you visit, change his wardrobe, when there's no guarantee he will even marry you, neither are you his sugar mummy, is he handicap?. He will take all these and still cheat on you, and dump you when the need arise.
- You're wrong again. That you're in a relationship with anyone doesn't mean the person will end up marrying you! And there's no way to know if someone will marry you until the person in question actually indicates interest to do so. The person you thought would marry you may not even be the one who would actually want to marry you.
There's absolutely nothing wrong in helping your boyfriend if he deserves it. And the same applies to men. If you're spending money on him in hope that he will marry you, then your intention is misguided.

I know a guy in Europe who sponsored a girl in Nigeria through school. A day after her graduation, she told the guy that she was in love with someone else. That was what this guy got after spending millions on her. Spending money on anyone doesn't guarantee anything. Even a bad husband can take your money and file for divorce.
So, if you're spending money on anyone make sure the person deserves it. Don't do it because you want him/her to marry you.

We ladies are naturally emotional, while the male counterparts are naturally logical, when he dumps you suicide is inevitable, he's likely to move on sooner that you.
- Both men and women do dump their partners. Anyone who can't handle rejection has no business being in a relationship.

He asked you out, you didn't ask him, why should you two go on a date, and you're the one buying everything, while he's collecting?.
- Anyone who asks you out should be responsible for the expenses during date. But it doesn't mean you can't assist with the bill if you wish. In Nigeria, men are expected to pay for EVERYTHING. It is extremely difficult to see a woman spend on a man. Unless the woman is a sugar mummy or came from a multimillionaire family, don't expect her to pay anything. A Nigerian woman would prefer putting her hand in a bag filled with Fire ants or Bees than reaching for cash in her purse to spend on a man!

Expecting the ladies you date to spend on you is like patronising a prostitute and asking her to pay you.
- According to your ridiculous mentality, it is totally fine for a man to take care of all your financial needs but terribly bad for a woman spend a dime on a man. I pity any man who takes you as his girlfriend. You're the type that would dump a man if money stops flowing in.

We're not in India where women marry men.
- I'm a believer in fair treatment. Both parties in a relationship should contribute financially (if both are capable) and otherwise. If you want a man to take care of everything then you have no say in any decision making and don't expect mutual respect. Unless the man doesn't want you to make any financial contribution, which I believe is a terrible decision. I don't see any genuine reason why a woman who has a good paying job wouldn't want to contribute financially in a relationship while I do.

It's not bad, she can if she wants to buying him a gift should not be a problem or buying him something you thing he will like on your way home from work is not a bad idea, but when he's expecting it everyday or demanding like it's his right your reply should be a straight NO instead you expecting it from him and if it makes him angry that you stopped doing it intentionally then leave him to die meaning let him go hug an electric pole if he wants to.

Benita27:
I no dey find nairaland bf or husband, i'm nt insane to do so.

Some of you are just too broke, so you need women to lean on ....work hard man.

na so....since i wasborn and now am getting old i ve never seen ur kind changeth.......singing and whistling

Crude....I'm guessing u r a very wicked person

Benita27:
When he dumps you, you can go extra miles to harm him, because of all you gave.

na only man money good to chop abi? the thing we dey do no be wetin sweet me e sweet you? nonsense

JustHere2Observ:
I dont understand, so because he asked you out you should just be collecting? You won't surprise him with gifts or pay for dinner once in a while? This is why guys keep shading ladies on this forum, you present yourselves as leeches.

This is coming from a Woman to a Girl. We all know the difference.

Why not so na only man go dey spend Abi....African mentality

[quote author=abbeyboy2o15 post=47952136][/quote]

Let's do more giving and forgiving in our relationships pls.

It's 100%,advisable for a lady to support the guy financially, it's a door thing to do

If she can then let her. As long as the man is not asking her to do so. Naturally some ladies enjoy spending on men. But guys even is she is 10times richer on ur own try taking up responsibilities; worse off are lazy men.

Benita27:
I have a family friend that works in shell, though! He's married, the wife works with the state government.

You won't believe that that man pays the wife monthly salary, ouside what she earns, and he still takes care of the home running.

That's who a man is.

My dear u got it really wrong here..... Do you know that what works in relationship A won't work in relationship B. if you are looking for a guy that will do that for u... u might end up being single.. don't forget women have expiring date. Don't take relationship advice built urs

God save my soul. Good luck finding the one!

kilokeys:
if there is a plan besides changing wardrobes and feeding him

if u can empower your man , either advancing his career , or setting him up.. thats a great idea


note the word ''Your Man''.

@smhart1 can u spend for me?

*takes cover*

I tink if she is in love she can assist him, atleast it is nt compulsory d male must be financially stronger,

under normal circumstances,yes she should but from experience of people, it is not advisable

Benita27:
Stop preaching halfricanadian, women are too mean, only few will let go.

A guy has been spiritually crippled, because he dumped a girl that cared for him for years and married a newbie.

And why would a normal guy dump a girl that was with him through thick and thin if not ojukojoro? No pity for the guy he deserve he get.

This OP sef, "we ladies are naturally emotional and men are logical" yet "ladies in India are marrying men" (according to OP), are Indian ladies not emotional (going by their movies)?

Insinuating Nigerian ladies are illogical may justify the mind set and message of this OP.

Benita27:
I have a family friend that works in shell, though! He's married, the wife works with the state government.

You won't believe that that man pays the wife monthly salary, ouside what she earns, and he still takes care of the home running.

That's who a man is.

See definition of a man.
Pls tell us the definition of a woman also.

As no two finger prints are the same, no two life experiences can be the same, except in Telemundo.