₦airaland Forum

That you even thought of it means you are finally asking the question that will deal a blow on that phenomenom. Spiritual growth that brings about a metanoia which is a change of heart and mind is what is missing. And it happens through Watching and praying. Thats the way

This Pius guy does not look pius at all.

Oh my goodness, the boy lacks wisdom, parting away with his kidney at his young age because of a piece of fleeting technology! But again is it not a tendency we all have, trading valueables for instant and short-lived gains. Girls who part their legs for a phone or a pack of brazilian hair comes to mind, Lets reflect and grow.

@shy one. But it is not a debate lol. It was a real pleasure rubbing minds with you. Have a great week ahead.

[quote author=Shy-One link=topic=585065.msg8410391#msg8410391 date=1306598004]wowww, ok - i read your words - I COMPLETELY AGREE

until we get to this part i have highlighted in blue,

LOVE transforms ALL - that is definitely true - I deeply believe that God is love and God as Love - transforms ALL

Now, let's look at that:  If I love you 49cents unconditionally, allowing you to do WHATEVER you want to do, getting upset---but continuing to love you, continuing to stay with you------your cheating ways might diminish somewhat-------but if YOU don't ever get to the point and place where you LOVE ME in the manner in which I LOVE YOU, the transformation from cheater to loyal spouse MAY NEVER OCCUR COMPLETELY WITH YOU.  You may decide to allow a transformation to occur for 4-5 years and year 6 starting cheating again for whatever reason or you may decide to limit your "scope of cheating to a specific region" out of your growing love for me because I HUNG IN THERE like a PARENT'S UNCONDITIONAL LOVE EXISTS FOR A CHILD.  Instead of cheating on me in Nigeria ----where we would be known far and wide------perhaps you would have lovers overseas to protect my reputation.

I believe that we are to ALLOW A TRANSFORMATION TO OCCUR.  IT doesn't just happen because I love you unconditionally.  How many times have you seen couples giving the "unconditional love" to the other and the cheating continues incessantly with no end in sight?  Similar to a parent who loves a child and the child becomes a young man, then a middle aged man, then an old man and the parent dies and the child, who is now an old man------still didn't do ANYTHING, still didn't accomplish, still didn't grow and meet the expectations of that parent. And those expectations WERE NOT LARGE, they were small, simple.  Come on over to the U.S.-----if you aren't already here ---- you will see grown men and women still living at home, living off their parents who are exhausted and worn out from that big-black-bama they call child-----who never, ever got it together.  They are bleeding mom and dad dry----taking their parents money, energy, time, golden years of retirement---taking everything their parents have acquired.  The parents want them out of the house but they won't leave and yet the parent won't get rid of him/her. (Women do it too)

49 - you had me with the first two loves - but that 3rd love nooo I don't agree - because if you have the wrong mate, they will take advantage of that 3rd love and they will ride your love "FOR ALL IT'S WORTH."  They will swim in it, doing the backstroke enjoying your love, while simultaneously committing all types of unethical atrocities, and they, their family and friends will throw in YOUR face that if you loved them "you would forgive them----but their so-called love for you doesn't halt their cheating ways; they will remind you of your vows that you made to them before God---yet somehow always forget their vows as your bf, mate, husband.  They will utilize your unconditional love as a Monopoly Board's  "Get out of jail Free card," to commit lies and crime after crime on the relationship and/or marriage.  Rarely reaching to change themselves-----every now and then, you will find a man or woman who is a cheater that will change their ways but once that cheating door has been opened, it is usually too good and smooth for them to walk in and out of it, regardless to how much you love them as though your love will be the catalyst for them to change.  Change comes from within----not from without.  Most cheaters always justify their ways and their actions and they never change.  Are non-cheaters suppose to align ourselves "til death do us part" with cheaters-----while life goes on in bliss for others who are aligned to those who don't cheat?     

My role in life is to progress and to reflect God as much as possible (I have faults too) - I cannot progress if I have to keep covering the very same ground over and over and over again with a cheater or with someone who is jobless EVERY SINGLE DAY or with an addict of alcohol or drugs --- it is not my cross to bear to continually listen to mediocrity because "they didn't" --- not "they couldn't"----but they didn't get it together.  They didn't wake up and go to work, they didn't get an education, they didn't take the high road and keep their hands off new p.u55y.  etc, etc.[/quote]@ SHY one. I SEE WERE YOU ARE COMING FROM I THINK I UNDERSTAND YOUR LINE OF THOUGHT.

First and foremost i am not saying you should love me, as a spouse (for instance) without carrying out the necessary checks on my maturity in understanding what committed love is all about; that is why it is VERY important to do your checks properly and to be brave in letting go of the person during the courtship period when you notice that i don't have for instance an wholesome attitude towards commitment.
Unmarried couples who have celibate  relationships are more likely to know their partners true attitude towards fidelity.

When i speak of love between parents and their children am talking about the fact that parents see loving children as their "destiny". A parents' love for their child must not be indulging (GOD'S LOVE DOES NOT INDULGE US, IT SEEKS TO CORRECT,) SAME GOES FOR A PERSON'S LOVE THEIR PARTNER. We must never allow sentiments to get in the way, no issue must be swept under the carpet especially before vows are exchanged, no hoping that we will change them; if they dont measure up to a basic standard then that's it,
We can marry for the wrong reasons (like the sex is good, or he/she is doing fine/or has a university degree, there is much more to all these) We cant marry carelessly and expect bliss.

Couples who profess love must see themselves in that light (of loving the other who is now part of your destiny, like in parental love). We are all on a journey of life, a once strong and well disposed spouse can slip into a bad habit which maybe drunkenness or sth, our love must bear them up but not in an indulging them is not in an indulgent  way.

The vocation of marriage is great and profound, whose meaning is mysteriously linked with  concept grand and lofty s the Maker who summoned us into existence and calls us into his love. Without this judgment  our love would necessarily stop at the fraternal level.

We can only say we love when we put our lives in the line, Jesus says no greater love can one have than to lay his life for his friend. Love is a belief/cause that we are willing to die daily for even if the the beloved does not transform in our eyes we love (not pamper) all the same. The reality is that the world and the humans that live in it are imperfect but we are called to be perfect like our heavenly Father is. Yes we can be soldiers, we can be soldiers of Love.

Its live on nta.

The OP your idea is what i have been looking at for 6months now. Too bad i came in late would really, really want to be part of this but i came in just late. Will follow the journal anyways

We are humans with Wills, Testersterone should not direct our lives .consider it a fight for freedom. Better die free than exist in shackles.

@ shy one i always relish the balance in your comments. But you will agree with me that true love is unconditional else the love is not perfect yet. We have the duty of verifying the qualities of the person we have feelings for first, before we put ourselves into it else we have ourselves to blame. The love especially between a couple  must be a fusion of all these: first the romantic (emotions between lovers, many relationships and even marriages have just these, at this stage infidelity is highly probable and rampant)  secondly the fraternal (love between siblings and friends, when lovers get to this point marriage talk comes up, and married couples feel happy cos they can trust the other much more marriage is stronger and infidelity is drastically diminished  due to the comfort that filial love provides, yet infidelity cannot be stomached as the betrayal cannot be rationalsed away)  thirdly filial (emotions between parents and their children, this love is rare in couples . When this dimension of love exist nothing can shake it not even  repeated infidelity the love the other shows the other will be responsible for the  change of the beloved to the extent of laying ones life for the beloved. At this stage it is love itself that heals and renews and transforms the couple)

^well said. There is nothing heroic about having sex outside marriage anybody can do that.

I find that must people think sex education is about knowing about to engage in the act. See we are humans born with concupiscence of the flesh which is basically a bent drive towards sex. Most times i learn that is just a case of total ignorance for many sex is just like anything else eating, urinating etc its just ignorance. But there is hope for our generation. Darkness cant conquer light never!

She wont let you go like that thats for sure. If you search your heart and find you trully love herand their is mutual respect then carry on

Ok. Fine. Its been here for long but is it to this degree? Remember the custom of the stained bird sheet! But thats besides the point. People fornicated only out of lust but not its for 'skill ' acquisition since they know they will be celebrated later especially the males. This has given to the high level of men-whores who dance around like cocks and are not ashamed of their state. This really is a culture of death if you look closely. Sex for many is usually initiated by the hormones like in the lower animals; whereas in a mature human it should be initiated by love which stems from the will. Hormones should be a catalyst here not initiator.

No sir. This is not how its always there has been a degeneration in sexual attitudes of people

@wislet the converse is the case:high value is placed on cheap commodity

there IS NO SAD LOVE STORY GUY. You may call me an observer of human behavior, so i see things others ordinarily would not

Yet every 'Hero/heroine" demands/craves 100% from spouse later as though a leopard will suddenly loose their spot because a ring was slipped down the finger SMH

[quote author=High_Chief link=topic=677150.msg8406267#msg8406267 date=1306525628]You took the words out from my mouth[/quote]Confimation number two. Next

snowdrops:
poster must have been traumatized recently.

man, please can you expantiate further. sorry o. come one, i would give you a shoulder to cry on.

See you just confirmed my observation. You feel i must be traumatized to to make my opening post!

It is year 2011 and if you have not been promiscuous enough to understand the 'chemistry, physics and biology' of sex (ALL BEFORE MARRIAGE) you are REGARDED AS A DUMB not-so-smart person, Whereas the he/she-LovePeddler next to you is tagged experienced; the self-controlled are useless while the He-goats and N-y-m-phos are celebrated.this is worse than Sodom and Gomorrah.

True Love is stronger than infidelity

This thread is bringing up the fact that we all crave exclusivity in devotion and affection and believe me its not limited to sex , thats our nature as humans. The truth is that your partner is not enough reason to be faithful, you are, think about cheating husbands whose wives are human goddesses or the unfaithful wife whose husband 'has it all' fidelity most include a personal decision independent of your partner cos most times it is the change or even lack of change in our partners that spur people inte unfaithfulness. Love makes us human, makes us become bigger. The thing these days people enter relationships hurriedly with another without policies, standards except dont have sex with someone else, Thats not sufficient

Depression is a nature's way of getting us to look at things from a different perspective.Depression many times has a root cause and most times its on a subconscious level. Some people can be so depressed that they cant help themselves, I guess this is as a result of not facing earlier depression properly and not learning from it. A logical thing to do is just to gaze at yourself knowing that you need a'fixing'. Never panic nor be in hurry to live that state it may only worsen it. Depression is the time to engage the mind in doing some physical work. But in all keep a smiling face and lift your head up literally it works! Sex. Alcohol its not it.

Why is the rating affecting you like this that you had to come online to let it out if not that You are simply so sad and disappointed because you are not seeing the nudity of others. I think this is the best big brother africa i have ever seen there has been some intelligent coversations especially by that malawian chic. I wish she wins!

^^what has yoruba and igbo got to do with the matter of bank acquisition in sao tome? Your statements are grossly uncalled for as they are idiotic!

This is a good move. However the governor should create policies that will empower people, an example being a policy that allow property owners speedy and inexpensive titles to their land or building. In that way they can access credit from the banks imagine the amount of businesses that can spring up! At the moment lagos is full of dead assets.

Sun newspaper just sensationalised it! Of course as gov-elect rochas does not have legal powers but moral powers, his word to the banks is sufficient to frustrate Ohakim from any last minute withdrawals. Any bank that defies rochas is risking loosing imo state's account come may 29. This is a humilating slap on the arrogant gov. whicch serves him right.

Hmmm this is interesting, issues like this are what bring about development, checking corruption at the state and local government level is another issue. At the meantime i wonder what Jonathan will do

Men have seductive powers too so their is equality okay.