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3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me - Romance (14) - Nairaland

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Few Weeks To Wedding....text Message Discovered. / 3 Weeks To Our Wedding, I Feel Like Calling It Off / Man Caught His Fiancee In Bed With His Best Man 3 Weeks To Wedding (2) (3) (4)

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Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by cricifixo: 4:07pm On May 26, 2020
Badt guys everywhere. Which one be vitamin D biko?
Ningen:
Do not bail on her for this. undecided

Her “mood swings” aren't even exaggerated. It's very mild and subtle. With good communication and effort from both parties, it can be managed.

Guy, I can tell she's also sexually frustrated.
Vitamin D is important for her mental health.

Once you've seal it off, dominate that “swing”.



Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by Leo588(m): 4:12pm On May 26, 2020
Donbabaj:


I'm not a 1 minute man. Cos before I rededicated my life to christ. I have had flings with 2 different ladies which I told her and coupled with I did a medical check up recently and was treated of only infection which I told her.

You talked too much on this.
Men don't need to tell ladies all about themselves, their brain is so little to comprehend your words esp when she is sexually starved.

Let her find out some minor things and not a hurtful secret.

Perhaps if you help your feelings to know her weakness when she is angry then, you will win her. Ignore when she is angry and don't pet, if she comes back to her senses then, it's a go rrlship if not WAKA
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by baratech: 4:12pm On May 26, 2020
dingbang:
You sef.. But you were touching her and you didn't tell yourself it wasnt biblical too abi.

grin

No mind am....

She was even on his bed....

1 Like

Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by zedman1(m): 4:17pm On May 26, 2020
Naija246:
Women are economically better to rent than buy.
Don't marry that lady.
Don't say I didn't warn you undecided
Bro, say 'bad women', I repeat ' bad women'. I rented a bad one for years and bought a good one in the end. The difference was/is clear..... 7up.
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by Kirinwa: 4:18pm On May 26, 2020
Ebenezer2O2O:
shut up

Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by cray91(m): 4:18pm On May 26, 2020
Brother leave Christ Talk. God self would not be angry with you if you had good sex with her. lack of sex by you contributes to her mood swings and she's too stressed

She Really Needs stress released

If you Don't Eventually get married in Three weeks cuz of this reason thats when God will gets really Angry at you!

Bible or Not. Christ Or Not! Scripture or Not! you got sex her. you can't Be holier than the Holy
Donbabaj:
I could be happy now but the next minute, she changes mood all of a sudden. We dated for over year after someone match make us but this mood swing things continued overtime so sometimes I get confused even as i really tried managing the pressure. She's a nice girl, takes good care of me, buys clothes, cooks, always wants me to look good but the problem is the rate which she switches mood easily.

Financially, we are both average earner but I think she earns better pay than me.

For instance, recently we got a new apartment - 2bedroom flat but whenever I say something she doesn't like or she doesn't want to hear, she just reacts like why would I say such a thing. All the while we were dating, we never stayed with each other as we stayed in our parents house. Fast forward* most times, as the man, after switching mood, I try to pacify her by petting and apologising but she doesn't just want to listen.

Just today, we were playing with each other on the bed, touching each other (not sensitive part) and she wanted me to kiss her. So I told her jokingly that "but you know this is not biblical" as an advocate of no sex until after marriage. I have never had sex with her either. The next thing she said, "why are you talking like this" she stood up, went straight to the sitting room and slept there. I went to meet her there to pacify her again but she wouldn't listen.

Please note that I have not and can never beat or abuse her cos I'm a Christian.

I'm just tired. She's really getting on my nerves. Our wedding is 3 weeks time but I dont just know what to do. People, friends and family are already aware of the impending marriage but I'm afraid that if a lady can switch mood like this, who knows what will happen tommorrow. I cant sleep in peace...

Please advice. This is happening right now.
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by isaiahethan: 4:19pm On May 26, 2020
Donbabaj:
I could be happy now but the next minute, she changes mood all of a sudden. We dated for over year after someone match make us but this mood swing things continued overtime so sometimes I get confused even as i really tried managing the pressure. She's a nice girl, takes good care of me, buys clothes, cooks, always wants me to look good but the problem is the rate which she switches mood easily.

Financially, we are both average earner but I think she earns better pay than me.

For instance, recently we got a new apartment - 2bedroom flat but whenever I say something she doesn't like or she doesn't want to hear, she just reacts like why would I say such a thing. All the while we were dating, we never stayed with each other as we stayed in our parents house. Fast forward* most times, as the man, after switching mood, I try to pacify her by petting and apologising but she doesn't just want to listen.

Just today, we were playing with each other on the bed, touching each other (not sensitive part) and she wanted me to kiss her. So I told her jokingly that "but you know this is not biblical" as an advocate of no sex until after marriage. I have never had sex with her either. The next thing she said, "why are you talking like this" she stood up, went straight to the sitting room and slept there. I went to meet her there to pacify her again but she wouldn't listen.

Please note that I have not and can never beat or abuse her cos I'm a Christian.

I'm just tired. She's really getting on my nerves. Our wedding is 3 weeks time but I dont just know what to do. People, friends and family are already aware of the impending marriage but I'm afraid that if a lady can switch mood like this, who knows what will happen tommorrow. I cant sleep in peace...

Please advice. This is happening right now.

Bro your wife to be needs your machine in between her legs. Do you want her to write it the wall
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by Kirinwa: 4:19pm On May 26, 2020
paul100:

gringrin. I just dey reason that thing he said.Which one be not sensitive parts.I don't know whether na her teeth he dey touchgrin.

Back, head, hand
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by Candoit: 4:23pm On May 26, 2020
OP, some nairalanders are about to crash your marriage.
Beware!

3weeks to the wedding would not kill either of you. And stop the touching. If you want to do something right, then do it RIGHT!
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by popcykaylah(m): 4:24pm On May 26, 2020
Dey preach for there ..them go help you Bleep her well well before you get married ..how many people do marriage for inside bible ? And I don’t see anything wrong in her switching her moods that’s quite normal .. she no be Dundee ..something tells me you are gonna be a boring husband ..person Dey find dick you Dey talk bible
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by festusforchrist: 4:24pm On May 26, 2020
It is for your good. Be patient.
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by OKTolu: 4:24pm On May 26, 2020
Relationship is complicated, use your head bro
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by Nobody: 4:26pm On May 26, 2020
Naija246:
Women are economically better to rent than buy.
Don't marry that lady.
Don't say I didn't warn you undecided
Haahaahahaha!!
Omo Naija! grin grin grin
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by kevotek1000(m): 4:26pm On May 26, 2020
Go and Nak your wife very hard, I repeat Nak her hard. I assure you her mood will not swing again.
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by Goalnaldo(m): 4:28pm On May 26, 2020
I have said it before and I will continue to say it that sex after marriage is a sin sorry marriage after sin is a sex. What am I saying Whatever, just know that sex after sin is a marriage kiss
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by Skmoda(m): 4:33pm On May 26, 2020
Donbabaj:


For the one year we have dated she never for once. I mean for once embarrased me. She respects me in public. My only problem is the way she switches her mood. She just go into her shell and avoid any communication. I've talked to her mildly but this keeps repeating itself.
she won't change even after marriage...it will get worse and please pray you satisfy her sexually after marriage cuz she will gladly cheat on you without remorse and you will raise bastards if care is taken.
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by hero2000: 4:37pm On May 26, 2020
You say you believe in Christ. That makes you my dear brother!

Now to the matter. For you to keep from sleeping with your fiance is a tough decision but you held on. Great. Don't mind all them 'Fuc* her well gang'. 3 weeks will soon be over.

It is possible she was sexually frustrated when she got angry at you for not kissing her. But that's nothing out of ordinary. However the real issue is: Do you have the depth of manhood(maturity) to lead this lady? Remember you will be her head.

I advice you to postpone the marriage, if need be, to sort out the issue of her 'perception of you'. Individuals are different. Some are more moody than others. She is also a woman. Their emotions are not as stable as men's. Nevertheless, if one respects a person, even if her moods get the better of her, when she gets back to 'level ground', she MUST give you regard. She MUST NOT discount your words to her. A man is not always right but he should be respected (especially if he is a good man).
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by thymm: 4:39pm On May 26, 2020
Beatswim:
u have actually done the right thing by abstaining from premarital sex.. I did the same thing too and my wife got pregnant 3weeks after our wedding.. Today we have 2kids.. Happily married and we are at peace all glory to God.. Your foundation in marriage matters alot.. Dont let her make u sin against God.. Let the bed be undefiled.. that was God's commandment.. Just pacify her she will come around.. Replace those dangerous touches with meaningful engagement for now.. Pray together.. Reason together.. Watch Christian films together..as for her mood swing, from lagos to america women are wired that way.. U just have to be patient enough to know ao to trigger her mood back to normal.. May God uphold your marriage and bless your union in Jesus precious name.. Amen

Same thing I experienced. We abstained until marriage, 9 months and 2 weeks later we welcomed our son.

1 Like

Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by Nobody: 4:43pm On May 26, 2020
As you no wan touch her kukuma bring her come make I knack craze comot for her brain to save your marriage
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by Ryocaj(m): 4:43pm On May 26, 2020
My Brother.. it will end in tears..
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by Anusiemgood(m): 4:45pm On May 26, 2020
Since your faith is against the no sex before marriage, why bringing her in before marriage...my brother give her what she desire, after all she is or wife to be.
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by samtol4(m): 4:47pm On May 26, 2020
You are not supposed to live together . Playing on the bed as husband and wife ? This is not biblical ,if you want to practice Bible principle practice it in full and if u want to be worldly ....practice it and face the consequence . Three weeks not far from now be careful of the playing you are doing in secret places ,the most high can see . Concerning your wife nothing is wrong with her ,she want good sex . You touch a woman and make her wet , suddenly you remember you are born again ? Why did you touch her ? Maintain good communication and avoid living together until you are married .That mood will stop after wedding ,once you have good sex with her .
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by ice4real: 4:53pm On May 26, 2020
Op your wife to be might just be the kind that bottles things up in her mind especially when she is angry. Study her and find a way to get her to be expressive. If you have come this far I will advice you endure, 3 weeks is just by the corner. Moving together is not the best of idea though in my opinion because it increases the pressure to have sex.
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by tyup(m): 4:53pm On May 26, 2020
professore:

I like the language "toxic". Bro, no like trouble grin. Give me examples of toxic behaviours.

any Average 9ja ladies are an example

try dating one grin
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by mcknowles: 5:02pm On May 26, 2020
Will you take up a full time job to pet a woman, will that feed you both? Most part of a relationship is a serious time for business. Bills got no chill at showing up at your face. Everytime isn't fun time. Life journey is about decision making per second and this make the reality you experience.
Please cut the crab on mood swing.... She needs to take responsibility to improve herself and acknowledge frequent mood swing is a baggage not healthy for a relationship. At crucial time when a fast pace decision is need and a dialogue is on the table with a need for non sentimental approach. Mood swing will definitely make a mess. At age 60 will there be a mood swing games?
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by abbasajao(m): 5:02pm On May 26, 2020
DanseMacabre:
I hope she won't find out in the next three weeks that you're a one minute man.


Anyway to be honest with you the way things are going there is every likelihood of it ending in tears.

When we say some nairaland comments are relationships scattering. Can you see one?
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by Obynolee(f): 5:07pm On May 26, 2020
Donbabaj:


You know at times you just want to please these ladies at times and give them attention. But not with my faith.


This where I have problem with all these Nigerian pastors forming "assistant Jesus ",they tend to ignore reality, who told you that she is not worried that you might not satisfy her sexually?.
How can you deny a sexually active girl sex all in the name of " faith "?.
Are you a virgin?.
Sexual compatibility is an integral part of marriage stop deceiving yourself.
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by sunkieisland(m): 5:07pm On May 26, 2020
two questions are important to ask you at this time.

DO YOU LOVE HER?

if yes good.

DOES SHE LOVE YOU TO SAME DEGREE OR MORE?

if the answer is also yes, good


Then 3 weeks is little in the scheme of things

Mood swing will change when you give her what she really needs.
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by gbigbega: 5:09pm On May 26, 2020
My brother be careful with listening to advice from many not so straight people on Nairaland. As a fellow Christian I think you too are doing good and should go ahead with your marriage. Its natural when two people from different background comes together to find something the other don't like. I am sure she has something she is also complaning about that you do- its just normal for all couples.

To resolve this, you may need to be a bit more stern with how you express your displeasure with her action. When you say it mildly and its not taking serious, say it seriously. Let her see you upset and angry about the way she is acting that you dont like. It may help make are rethink her actions. If she loves you, which I think she does, she will start trying to change that. However, dont think she will change overnight because that is who she'd been all her life and she can only learn as days goes by.

That action is not a marriage spoiler, it could be a think of concern and it can be handled and treated by the two of you. As you want her to work on this part of her make sure you work on your own too that you have not told us.
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by Philip1914: 5:17pm On May 26, 2020
Have you talked with her about this matter you have noticed?
I suggest you both sit doen and honestly talk about it
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by chester23(m): 5:19pm On May 26, 2020
Am facing the same problem with my fiancée. She easily get angry, although am an angry type but now I am the one to pacify and plead with her even when she is the one at fault, which if I didnt do, we won't talk to each other until one person makes the step to say sorry.
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by vickydevoka(m): 5:20pm On May 26, 2020
Donbabaj:
I could be happy now but the next minute, she changes mood all of a sudden. We dated for over year after someone match make us but this mood swing things continued overtime so sometimes I get confused even as i really tried managing the pressure. She's a nice girl, takes good care of me, buys clothes, cooks, always wants me to look good but the problem is the rate which she switches mood easily.

Financially, we are both average earner but I think she earns better pay than me.

For instance, recently we got a new apartment - 2bedroom flat but whenever I say something she doesn't like or she doesn't want to hear, she just reacts like why would I say such a thing. All the while we were dating, we never stayed with each other as we stayed in our parents house. Fast forward* most times, as the man, after switching mood, I try to pacify her by petting and apologising but she doesn't just want to listen.

Just today, we were playing with each other on the bed, touching each other (not sensitive part) and she wanted me to kiss her. So I told her jokingly that "but you know this is not biblical" as an advocate of no sex until after marriage. I have never had sex with her either. The next thing she said, "why are you talking like this" she stood up, went straight to the sitting room and slept there. I went to meet her there to pacify her again but she wouldn't listen.

Please note that I have not and can never beat or abuse her cos I'm a Christian.

I'm just tired. She's really getting on my nerves. Our wedding is 3 weeks time but I dont just know what to do. People, friends and family are already aware of the impending marriage but I'm afraid that if a lady can switch mood like this, who knows what will happen tommorrow. I cant sleep in peace...

Please advice. This is happening right now.
Its normal with ladies

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