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3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me - Romance (12) - Nairaland

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Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by golddare: 2:31pm On May 26, 2020
Donbabaj:
I could be happy now but the next minute, she changes mood all of a sudden. We dated for over year after someone match make us but this mood swing things continued overtime so sometimes I get confused even as i really tried managing the pressure. She's a nice girl, takes good care of me, buys clothes, cooks, always wants me to look good but the problem is the rate which she switches mood easily.

Financially, we are both average earner but I think she earns better pay than me.

For instance, recently we got a new apartment - 2bedroom flat but whenever I say something she doesn't like or she doesn't want to hear, she just reacts like why would I say such a thing. All the while we were dating, we never stayed with each other as we stayed in our parents house. Fast forward* most times, as the man, after switching mood, I try to pacify her by petting and apologising but she doesn't just want to listen.

Just today, we were playing with each other on the bed, touching each other (not sensitive part) and she wanted me to kiss her. So I told her jokingly that "but you know this is not biblical" as an advocate of no sex until after marriage. I have never had sex with her either. The next thing she said, "why are you talking like this" she stood up, went straight to the sitting room and slept there. I went to meet her there to pacify her again but she wouldn't listen.

Please note that I have not and can never beat or abuse her cos I'm a Christian.

I'm just tired. She's really getting on my nerves. Our wedding is 3 weeks time but I dont just know what to do. People, friends and family are already aware of the impending marriage but I'm afraid that if a lady can switch mood like this, who knows what will happen tommorrow. I cant sleep in peace...

Please advice. This is happening right now.

Go ahead and do your wedding naso women dey do when they love you, mood swing is part of the package for marriage so be ready for it. To have peace of mind in a marriage please dont put everything a woman say or do for head like Galla unless infidelity or stealing.

1 Like

Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by Nobody: 2:32pm On May 26, 2020
I dont see any problem here, you are looking for problem where there is none.
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by Nobody: 2:34pm On May 26, 2020
Donbabaj:
I could be happy now but the next minute, she changes mood all of a sudden. We dated for over year after someone match make us but this mood swing things continued overtime so sometimes I get confused even as i really tried managing the pressure. She's a nice girl, takes good care of me, buys clothes, cooks, always wants me to look good but the problem is the rate which she switches mood easily.

Financially, we are both average earner but I think she earns better pay than me.

For instance, recently we got a new apartment - 2bedroom flat but whenever I say something she doesn't like or she doesn't want to hear, she just reacts like why would I say such a thing. All the while we were dating, we never stayed with each other as we stayed in our parents house. Fast forward* most times, as the man, after switching mood, I try to pacify her by petting and apologising but she doesn't just want to listen.

Just today, we were playing with each other on the bed, touching each other (not sensitive part) and she wanted me to kiss her. So I told her jokingly that "but you know this is not biblical" as an advocate of no sex until after marriage. I have never had sex with her either. The next thing she said, "why are you talking like this" she stood up, went straight to the sitting room and slept there. I went to meet her there to pacify her again but she wouldn't listen.

Please note that I have not and can never beat or abuse her cos I'm a Christian.

I'm just tired. She's really getting on my nerves. Our wedding is 3 weeks time but I dont just know what to do. People, friends and family are already aware of the impending marriage but I'm afraid that if a lady can switch mood like this, who knows what will happen tommorrow. I cant sleep in peace...

Please advice. This is happening right now.
Holiness kill you there. Stay there and be doing "no sex before marriage" until you frustrated her to an extent she would go out of her way to sleep with another man.
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by TheCrusader: 2:34pm On May 26, 2020
Donbabaj:


I'm sorry I cant, if I wanted to sex her would have done that a long time. I understand guys are not the same.
Then why are you living together?
Why are you touching her


Don't confuse your confusion
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by jamace(m): 2:35pm On May 26, 2020
You are tired when the bumpy journey has not even started? Wahala dey o. shocked
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by frozen70(f): 2:36pm On May 26, 2020
Donbabaj:
I could be happy now but the next minute, she changes mood all of a sudden. We dated for over year after someone match make us but this mood swing things continued overtime so sometimes I get confused even as i really tried managing the pressure. She's a nice girl, takes good care of me, buys clothes, cooks, always wants me to look good but the problem is the rate which she switches mood easily.

Financially, we are both average earner but I think she earns better pay than me.

For instance, recently we got a new apartment - 2bedroom flat but whenever I say something she doesn't like or she doesn't want to hear, she just reacts like why would I say such a thing. All the while we were dating, we never stayed with each other as we stayed in our parents house. Fast forward* most times, as the man, after switching mood, I try to pacify her by petting and apologising but she doesn't just want to listen.

Just today, we were playing with each other on the bed, touching each other (not sensitive part) and she wanted me to kiss her. So I told her jokingly that "but you know this is not biblical" as an advocate of no sex until after marriage. I have never had sex with her either. The next thing she said, "why are you talking like this" she stood up, went straight to the sitting room and slept there. I went to meet her there to pacify her again but she wouldn't listen.

Please note that I have not and can never beat or abuse her cos I'm a Christian.

I'm just tired. She's really getting on my nerves. Our wedding is 3 weeks time but I dont just know what to do. People, friends and family are already aware of the impending marriage but I'm afraid that if a lady can switch mood like this, who knows what will happen tommorrow. I cant sleep in peace...

Please advice. This is happening right now.

Since you are considering what people will say about your marriage plans

Go on it's almost near

Keep watching and telling her about her attitude and get to know from her what turns her off

All this no sex until after marriage, I don't fancy it, especially if the man or woman is not a virgin
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by 02Kebreal(m): 2:36pm On May 26, 2020
Well,I don't know if its biblical to stay in and sleep in the same room and the sake bed with a girl who is not Ur wife.
If U no comot from here with Ur Hypocrisy ehn
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by wristbangle: 2:37pm On May 26, 2020
Mood swing is common to women but the level differs. Many circumstances result to this such as hormonal control, past incidence hurting their emotions, being deprived in sex/romance and lots more.

OP, your fiance is sexually and emotionally starved. You don't need a prophet or consultant to tell you what the problem is, it's glaring to you. Aside being a Christian, you are not romantic enough to understand that women crave so much for touch even when sex is not involved. Try nurture her feelings. Don't allow her get to the point that she will use this same weakness against you in marriage.

I am not asking you to indulge in sex but try meet her romantic needs and not to the point of losing focus base on your sacrilege.
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by OsuMustGo: 2:37pm On May 26, 2020
dingbang:
You sef.. But you were touching her and you didn't tell yourself it wasnt biblical too abi.
Donbabaj is a hypocrite.
Don't mind him.
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by odinga1of: 2:40pm On May 26, 2020
Donbabaj:
I could be happy now but the next minute, she changes mood all of a sudden. We dated for over year after someone match make us but this mood swing things continued overtime so sometimes I get confused even as i really tried managing the pressure. She's a nice girl, takes good care of me, buys clothes, cooks, always wants me to look good but the problem is the rate which she switches mood easily.

Financially, we are both average earner but I think she earns better pay than me.

For instance, recently we got a new apartment - 2bedroom flat but whenever I say something she doesn't like or she doesn't want to hear, she just reacts like why would I say such a thing. All the while we were dating, we never stayed with each other as we stayed in our parents house. Fast forward* most times, as the man, after switching mood, I try to pacify her by petting and apologising but she doesn't just want to listen.

Just today, we were playing with each other on the bed, touching each other (not sensitive part) and she wanted me to kiss her. So I told her jokingly that "but you know this is not biblical" as an advocate of no sex until after marriage. I have never had sex with her either. The next thing she said, "why are you talking like this" she stood up, went straight to the sitting room and slept there. I went to meet her there to pacify her again but she wouldn't listen.

Please note that I have not and can never beat or abuse her cos I'm a Christian.

I'm just tired. She's really getting on my nerves. Our wedding is 3 weeks time but I dont just know what to do. People, friends and family are already aware of the impending marriage but I'm afraid that if a lady can switch mood like this, who knows what will happen tommorrow. I cant sleep in peace...

Please advice. This is happening right now.


Oga u are drunk and a religious extremists.


You are the fool. The woman is matured
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by ifud(m): 2:41pm On May 26, 2020
As you don get am now, how you dey feel?
Donbabaj:


From my observations I dont think she is, she claimed not to. She has had only one heart break in the past where a guy jilted her and she told me. I have had cause to investigate from a friend in her office but they all said she is just a tough lady but very hard to get. Guys have tried her but couldn't get her.
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by intruder15(m): 2:41pm On May 26, 2020
Donbabaj:
I could be happy now but the next minute, she changes mood all of a sudden. We dated for over year after someone match make us but this mood swing things continued overtime so sometimes I get confused even as i really tried managing the pressure. She's a nice girl, takes good care of me, buys clothes, cooks, always wants me to look good but the problem is the rate which she switches mood easily.

Financially, we are both average earner but I think she earns better pay than me.

For instance, recently we got a new apartment - 2bedroom flat but whenever I say something she doesn't like or she doesn't want to hear, she just reacts like why would I say such a thing. All the while we were dating, we never stayed with each other as we stayed in our parents house. Fast forward* most times, as the man, after switching mood, I try to pacify her by petting and apologising but she doesn't just want to listen.

Just today, we were playing with each other on the bed, touching each other (not sensitive part) and she wanted me to kiss her. So I told her jokingly that "but you know this is not biblical" as an advocate of no sex until after marriage. I have never had sex with her either. The next thing she said, "why are you talking like this" she stood up, went straight to the sitting room and slept there. I went to meet her there to pacify her again but she wouldn't listen.

Please note that I have not and can never beat or abuse her cos I'm a Christian.

I'm just tired. She's really getting on my nerves. Our wedding is 3 weeks time but I dont just know what to do. People, friends and family are already aware of the impending marriage but I'm afraid that if a lady can switch mood like this, who knows what will happen tommorrow. I cant sleep in peace...

Please advice. This is happening right now.


Your marriage is closer. Fear of the unknown is creeping in. Bro, if all u wrote is what's happening in your relationship, u are good to go jare. Does her mood swing make her aggressive? I guess not. She just wants to be left alone. Your approach is ideal. Don't relent in the way you manage the situation.

How long have u two been staying together actively? I guess not too long. Just after u rented ur apartment. Meaning u two are just learning to live with each other. It won't be that easy. There will be issues. But with time, it will get better. Less mood swing. Always make her feel loved. That's what matters.

You will prevail. I look forward to ur 5 years anniversary.

1 Like

Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by shadeyinka(m): 2:43pm On May 26, 2020
Donbabaj:
I could be happy now but the next minute, she changes mood all of a sudden. We dated for over year after someone match make us but this mood swing things continued overtime so sometimes I get confused even as i really tried managing the pressure. She's a nice girl, takes good care of me, buys clothes, cooks, always wants me to look good but the problem is the rate which she switches mood easily.


Please advice. This is happening right now.
And you the think the problem is because you didn't have sex while dating? Very wrong dear.

You problem was that you dated without courting each other. You didn't even know the person you married. She had always been like that only that you overlooked it.

You both need some marriage counseling.

BTW:
Most women until menopause are moody. You never know when a laughter would become a frown.

Continuous heart to heart talk is the solution. And get yourselves counselled

1 Like

Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by fscream(m): 2:44pm On May 26, 2020
Oluromantic:
Youre abt to marry a mel-chlor or san-mel. Apart from mood swings, they want admiration badly and they get easily angry if not admired. I once dated a girl like that before, I was the one who by myself told her we're not compatible, cus I couldn't cope. She ranted when I told her, abused me and my parents blabla but I felt free like I was caged before. That's me though, you may be able to cope. We're different.

By nature, they lack moderate feelings, emotional independence and stability...that's their weakness. It's usually from one extreme of emotions to the other extreme skipping moderation and balance in-between. At one time, they'll love you like babies, like all their life depends on you. Another time, they'll show serious temper over little things. Either you date for marriage or there's nothing between both of you. No ordinary friendly plays or so at all except birthed by emotions. If you beat her often in a ludo or whot game na wahala. If you decide to be passive abt her swings, she may leave for her parents or friend house for being ignored and that'll be embarrassing. But their strength is being supportive, they can give u their all or even indebt themselves for you in loves name.

If you know u can't cope, you still have time to decide. Forget about family.. only 2 of you'll live together as man n wife. Forget the general conclusion that women are emotional..little things upset them blabla. It's when they want to be selfish they say all that. Not all women are emotional dilly-dallys. Though emotional, some are sensible with their emotions. I'm not wishing you separation at d edge of ur wedding but the truth need be told. You need to be very emotionally balanced and independent on your own to keep her going. If you are, then you can cope, but if you're not, hmmmm...

All you need to know is here, am talking from experience too. If you can live with it now, then u are good to go because this mood swing and you petting her will be your cross till death do you part

1 Like

Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by Jung(m): 2:46pm On May 26, 2020
Oluromantic:
Youre abt to marry a mel-chlor or san-mel. Apart from mood swings, they want admiration badly and they get easily angry if not admired. I once dated a girl like that before, I was the one who by myself told her we're not compatible, cus I couldn't cope. She ranted when I told her, abused me and my parents blabla but I felt free like I was caged before. That's me though, you may be able to cope. We're different.

By nature, they lack moderate feelings, emotional independence and stability...that's their weakness. It's usually from one extreme of emotions to the other extreme skipping moderation and balance in-between. At one time, they'll love you like babies, like all their life depends on you. Another time, they'll show serious temper over little things. Either you date for marriage or there's nothing between both of you. No ordinary friendly plays or so at all except birthed by emotions. If you beat her often in a ludo or whot game na wahala. If you decide to be passive abt her swings, she may leave for her parents or friend house for being ignored and that'll be embarrassing. But their strength is being supportive, they can give u their all or even indebt themselves for you in loves name.

If you know u can't cope, you still have time to decide. Forget about family.. only 2 of you'll live together as man n wife. Forget the general conclusion that women are emotional..little things upset them blabla. It's when they want to be selfish they say all that. Not all women are emotional dilly-dallys. Though emotional, some are sensible with their emotions. I'm not wishing you separation at d edge of ur wedding but the truth need be told. You need to be very emotionally balanced and independent on your own to keep her going. If you are, then you can cope, but if you're not, hmmmm...

Okoto meow skrrrrr
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by safarigirl(f): 2:47pm On May 26, 2020
You are not perfect. She is not perfect.

Find a balance.

If she offers more positives than negatives for you, marry her, if not, review the relationship.

Some things that have simple solutions, a lot of young people today will rather rush to the Internet and ask miserable people that don't know enough about them or their partners, for advice.

Only you, can understand your relationship. We are not in it with you and we cannot help you through your problems.

2 Likes

Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by Joshbass: 2:47pm On May 26, 2020
From what I got from ur text, shez a good person and she will definitely be a good house wife.. The mood swing thing is something both of you can actually work on. Don't leave her because of that becos u will regret and may never find someone like her.. U need to kW that nobody is perfect. So u guys just have a lil work to do on that.. #Happy married life in adv

1 Like

Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by Nobody: 2:47pm On May 26, 2020
OP, you should sit your fiance down and have a heart to heart conversation with her. You have listed very beautiful qualities that she possesses and to be honest, it is rare to find a partner who cares about your well-being. Nobody is perfect and I believe if she told her own side, everything will be much clearer. You have depicted yourself in "good light", maybe there are things that are lacking with you too so instead of taking advice from total strangers on a forum, sit the love of your life down and talk. If you both love each other, you can make it work. Since you mentioned you are christian, I assume both of you have gone to marriage counselling, remember 1 Corinthians 13. And congratulations in advance!

1 Like

Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by Gwazah(m): 2:47pm On May 26, 2020
Donbabaj:
I could be happy now but the next minute, she changes mood all of a sudden. We dated for over year after someone match make us but this mood swing things continued overtime so sometimes I get confused even as i really tried managing the pressure. She's a nice girl, takes good care of me, buys clothes, cooks, always wants me to look good but the problem is the rate which she switches mood easily.

Financially, we are both average earner but I think she earns better pay than me.

For instance, recently we got a new apartment - 2bedroom flat but whenever I say something she doesn't like or she doesn't want to hear, she just reacts like why would I say such a thing. All the while we were dating, we never stayed with each other as we stayed in our parents house. Fast forward* most times, as the man, after switching mood, I try to pacify her by petting and apologising but she doesn't just want to listen.

Just today, we were playing with each other on the bed, touching each other (not sensitive part) and she wanted me to kiss her. So I told her jokingly that "but you know this is not biblical" as an advocate of no sex until after marriage. I have never had sex with her either. The next thing she said, "why are you talking like this" she stood up, went straight to the sitting room and slept there. I went to meet her there to pacify her again but she wouldn't listen.

Please note that I have not and can never beat or abuse her cos I'm a Christian.

I'm just tired. She's really getting on my nerves. Our wedding is 3 weeks time but I dont just know what to do. People, friends and family are already aware of the impending marriage but I'm afraid that if a lady can switch mood like this, who knows what will happen tommorrow. I cant sleep in peace...

Please advice. This is happening right now.
U are too religious guy. She need sex, it will really make her stable.
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by Nobody: 2:48pm On May 26, 2020
Joshbass:
From what I got from ur text, shez a good person and she will definitely be a good house wife.. The mood swing thing is something both of you can actually work on. Don't leave her because of that becos u will regret and may never find someone like her.. U need to kW that nobody is perfect. So u guys just have a lil work to do on that.. #Happy married life in adv
In fact, you just spoke my mind.

1 Like

Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by safarigirl(f): 2:49pm On May 26, 2020
odinga1of:



Oga u are drunk and a religious extremists.


You are the fool. The woman is matured

Premarital sex is not a sign of maturity

There are millions of immature people that are shagging regularly. Banish this idea from your head.

1 Like

Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by peterbello(m): 2:49pm On May 26, 2020
Kula da kashi ya kan sa ta wari.
Translation: Na when you mind shit, e go dey smell.
If you ignore her during her mood swings and act like you didn't notice it, she would grow up and behave. Na the attention dey make her misbehave.

1 Like

Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by AristocraticMe: 2:50pm On May 26, 2020
Donbabaj:
I could be happy now but the next minute, she changes mood all of a sudden. We dated for over year after someone match make us but this mood swing things continued overtime so sometimes I get confused even as i really tried managing the pressure. She's a nice girl, takes good care of me, buys clothes, cooks, always wants me to look good but the problem is the rate which she switches mood easily.

Financially, we are both average earner but I think she earns better pay than me.

For instance, recently we got a new apartment - 2bedroom flat but whenever I say something she doesn't like or she doesn't want to hear, she just reacts like why would I say such a thing. All the while we were dating, we never stayed with each other as we stayed in our parents house. Fast forward* most times, as the man, after switching mood, I try to pacify her by petting and apologising but she doesn't just want to listen.

Just today, we were playing with each other on the bed, touching each other (not sensitive part) and she wanted me to kiss her. So I told her jokingly that "but you know this is not biblical" as an advocate of no sex until after marriage. I have never had sex with her either. The next thing she said, "why are you talking like this" she stood up, went straight to the sitting room and slept there. I went to meet her there to pacify her again but she wouldn't listen.

Please note that I have not and can never beat or abuse her cos I'm a Christian.

I'm just tired. She's really getting on my nerves. Our wedding is 3 weeks time but I dont just know what to do. People, friends and family are already aware of the impending marriage but I'm afraid that if a lady can switch mood like this, who knows what will happen tommorrow. I cant sleep in peace...

Please advice. This is happening right now.
No big deal.... It seems you spoilt her, by trying to please all the time and she know you will always bend your rules or decision to please her........ Just try to stand your ground sometimes regardless on how she feels (Make sure it is for a Reasonable thing and lastly not everytime, when she makes sense and you are wrong adjust and apologise if needed but when you know you are right stand your ground... but apply wisdom)

On the sex thing, just be wise at this moment..... Try not to be alone with her, anything can happen....

1 Like

Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by Nobody: 2:51pm On May 26, 2020
Donbabaj:
I could be happy now but the next minute, she changes mood all of a sudden. We dated for over year after someone match make us but this mood swing things continued overtime so sometimes I get confused even as i really tried managing the pressure. She's a nice girl, takes good care of me, buys clothes, cooks, always wants me to look good but the problem is the rate which she switches mood easily.

Financially, we are both average earner but I think she earns better pay than me.

For instance, recently we got a new apartment - 2bedroom flat but whenever I say something she doesn't like or she doesn't want to hear, she just reacts like why would I say such a thing. All the while we were dating, we never stayed with each other as we stayed in our parents house. Fast forward* most times, as the man, after switching mood, I try to pacify her by petting and apologising but she doesn't just want to listen.

Just today, we were playing with each other on the bed, touching each other (not sensitive part) and she wanted me to kiss her. So I told her jokingly that "but you know this is not biblical" as an advocate of no sex until after marriage. I have never had sex with her either. The next thing she said, "why are you talking like this" she stood up, went straight to the sitting room and slept there. I went to meet her there to pacify her again but she wouldn't listen.

Please note that I have not and can never beat or abuse her cos I'm a Christian.

I'm just tired. She's really getting on my nerves. Our wedding is 3 weeks time but I dont just know what to do. People, friends and family are already aware of the impending marriage but I'm afraid that if a lady can switch mood like this, who knows what will happen tommorrow. I cant sleep in peace...

Please advice. This is happening right now.

Dog wey go loss no dey hear hunter's whistle...Na you be the dog in this case ooooo grin
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by emmajodeci(m): 2:54pm On May 26, 2020
The answer is simple... Firstly, She needs to be bleeped. All those mood swings will stop.
Secondly a lot of temptation comes with marriage.. As long as you guys are in love bro go ahead and wife her. Nobody is perfect as long as you can deal with her small small swings.


If you nack her all those swings go stop.
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by osram(m): 2:54pm On May 26, 2020
Donbabaj:


From my observations I dont think she is, she claimed not to. She has had only one heart break in the past where a guy jilted her and she told me. I have had cause to investigate from a friend in her office but they all said she is just a tough lady but very hard to get. Guys have tried her but couldn't get her.

my brother I have 3 sentence for you

1. e go shock you
2.oga Na express u dey go ooo
3.it will all end in tears
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by naijapatriot: 2:55pm On May 26, 2020
Donbabaj:


I'm not a 1 minute man. Cos before I rededicated my life to christ. I have had flings with 2 different ladies which I told her and coupled with I did a medical check up recently and was treated of only infection which I told her.
Do not do it... She will flip on you again after the act. Just wait, 3 weeks is not too far... And she is just being fickle... This phase will pass, trust me
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by Raskasal(m): 2:58pm On May 26, 2020
Donbabaj:
I could be happy now but the next minute, she changes mood all of a sudden. We dated for over year after someone match make us but this mood swing things continued overtime so sometimes I get confused even as i really tried managing the pressure. She's a nice girl, takes good care of me, buys clothes, cooks, always wants me to look good but the problem is the rate which she switches mood easily.

Financially, we are both average earner but I think she earns better pay than me.

For instance, recently we got a new apartment - 2bedroom flat but whenever I say something she doesn't like or she doesn't want to hear, she just reacts like why would I say such a thing. All the while we were dating, we never stayed with each other as we stayed in our parents house. Fast forward* most times, as the man, after switching mood, I try to pacify her by petting and apologising but she doesn't just want to listen.

Just today, we were playing with each other on the bed, touching each other (not sensitive part) and she wanted me to kiss her. So I told her jokingly that "but you know this is not biblical" as an advocate of no sex until after marriage. I have never had sex with her either. The next thing she said, "why are you talking like this" she stood up, went straight to the sitting room and slept there. I went to meet her there to pacify her again but she wouldn't listen.

Please note that I have not and can never beat or abuse her cos I'm a Christian.

I'm just tired. She's really getting on my nerves. Our wedding is 3 weeks time but I dont just know what to do. People, friends and family are already aware of the impending marriage but I'm afraid that if a lady can switch mood like this, who knows what will happen tommorrow. I cant sleep in peace...

Please advice. This is happening right now.


Are you sure that's not my formal girlfriend you're talking about, because that's exactly how she behaves too. Her name starts with Fehin..... and she's from ilese, Ogun state. If you're advised to quit the relationship now, you wont hear becos of love. From experience she has some things she hasn't really told you about her self and always looking for an Avenue to make you fit into that scenario when even if she tells you, you will still marry her. Engage her and let her tell you every insecurity she has and what she really wants from you. If you think after marriage it will be better, you're on your own. I've been in it and I can tell you I was successful after ignoring her swings and ego, later she tagged it emotional torture, but still I ignore. If it can't be sorted now, just prepare to live with it after marriage. More so, have you both been open to yourself about your sex live and health? Did you ask her what made her last relationship broke out? You could see a honest truth in the answer she gives. But dont give room for manipulations. It's not good for young couple. Be truthful to your self
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by Saintinoo(m): 2:59pm On May 26, 2020
Donbabaj:
I could be happy now but the next minute, she changes mood all of a sudden. We dated for over year after someone match make us but this mood swing things continued overtime so sometimes I get confused even as i really tried managing the pressure. She's a nice girl, takes good care of me, buys clothes, cooks, always wants me to look good but the problem is the rate which she switches mood easily.

Financially, we are both average earner but I think she earns better pay than me.

For instance, recently we got a new apartment - 2bedroom flat but whenever I say something she doesn't like or she doesn't want to hear, she just reacts like why would I say such a thing. All the while we were dating, we never stayed with each other as we stayed in our parents house. Fast forward* most times, as the man, after switching mood, I try to pacify her by petting and apologising but she doesn't just want to listen.

Just today, we were playing with each other on the bed, touching each other (not sensitive part) and she wanted me to kiss her. So I told her jokingly that "but you know this is not biblical" as an advocate of no sex until after marriage. I have never had sex with her either. The next thing she said, "why are you talking like this" she stood up, went straight to the sitting room and slept there. I went to meet her there to pacify her again but she wouldn't listen.

Please note that I have not and can never beat or abuse her cos I'm a Christian.

I'm just tired. She's really getting on my nerves. Our wedding is 3 weeks time but I dont just know what to do. People, friends and family are already aware of the impending marriage but I'm afraid that if a lady can switch mood like this, who knows what will happen tommorrow. I cant sleep in peace...

Please advice. This is happening right now.
You are being too holy and she doesn't like it.... Next time just kiss her, and hold your stand of no sex if that is what you want....

She is wondering how her sex life with you will be.... Try and talk out things with her.
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by Nobody: 2:59pm On May 26, 2020
Oluromantic:
Youre abt to marry a mel-chlor or san-mel. Apart from mood swings, they want admiration badly and they get easily angry if not admired. I once dated a girl like that before, I was the one who by myself told her we're not compatible, cus I couldn't cope. She ranted when I told her, abused me and my parents blabla but I felt free like I was caged before. That's me though, you may be able to cope. We're different.

By nature, they lack moderate feelings, emotional independence and stability...that's their weakness. It's usually from one extreme of emotions to the other extreme skipping moderation and balance in-between. At one time, they'll love you like babies, like all their life depends on you. Another time, they'll show serious temper over little things. Either you date for marriage or there's nothing between both of you. No ordinary friendly plays or so at all except birthed by emotions. If you beat her often in a ludo or whot game na wahala. If you decide to be passive abt her swings, she may leave for her parents or friend house for being ignored and that'll be embarrassing. But their strength is being supportive, they can give u their all or even indebt themselves for you in loves name.

If you know u can't cope, you still have time to decide. Forget about family.. only 2 of you'll live together as man n wife. Forget the general conclusion that women are emotional..little things upset them blabla. It's when they want to be selfish they say all that. Not all women are emotional dilly-dallys. Though emotional, some are sensible with their emotions. I'm not wishing you separation at d edge of ur wedding but the truth need be told. You need to be very emotionally balanced and independent on your own to keep her going. If you are, then you can cope, but if you're not, hmmmm...

Brother brother, pray to God for a go ahead to proceed for the marriage. If you didn't get any answers from God to proceed, pls follow this advice becuz there is still time to quite to avoid sorrow & anguish in future.
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by Nobody: 3:02pm On May 26, 2020
MelaninSkinGirl:


My dear, it's sad. Now this poor girl will be damaged from this cancelled wedding and carry the emotional damage to the next relationship. But society will blame the woman and not the man. I weep for our generation, we are a selfish, entitled bunch.
Yes ma'am

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