Welcome, Guest: Join Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 2,741,882 members, 6,503,494 topics. Date: Thursday, 23 September 2021 at 11:02 AM

Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. - Family (9) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. (93704 Views)

Married Only: How Often Do You Ask Your Partner For Sex? / For Men And Family Wey Sabi Is / What Family Do You Wish For Instead Of Your Own? (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) ... (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) ... (21) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Focusingmore: 5:53pm On May 31, 2020
omonnakoda:
You can save 20k of that in a 401 K pension and pay ZERO tax on that.

Yeah when you're using walking stick and half blind.

Anyway everyone has their own perspective.

I felt sorry for the guy earning 4k and saving only 800.

Abroad no easy hence why u can't be spending anyhow

1 Like

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by redsun(m): 5:54pm On May 31, 2020
That number five point seems to get every right-thinking African abroad. You have enough to live lavishly but most times secondary responsibilities tend to take priority over treating oneself to luxury.

1 Like

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by foleskay(m): 5:54pm On May 31, 2020
Millenniumlady:
I never done this before you're the only guy i want to give this easy access don't loose this opportunity biko
Lmaoo cheesy cheesy
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by ofiko123(m): 5:54pm On May 31, 2020
Nice write up..

1 Like

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by SweetCunt97(f): 5:55pm On May 31, 2020
salford1:

This is what I do. I have an amount I set aside for family back home.
Except, the occasional laptop or money for laptop request that I get and I politely declined with reasons.
Is it not better to grant the request of a laptop that will be useful to that person's existence? First laptop I ever owned was given to me brand new by obodo oyibo uncle. Na that laptop I use do final year project until I kicked it off my bed and smashed it...

1 Like

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by salford1: 5:55pm On May 31, 2020
zed7:
Does it ever end? I can understand the request from people who are sick and can't afford medical bills. What irks me the most is those who after enjoying the pleasures of ejaculation start nagging you for money because they just had a baby or need money for school fees.
I always say I wouldn't give again but I still end up giving. I have always made it a point not to stress myself. I give what wouldn't dent my own resources. If you need 50k, I can give 10k, go source for the rest yourself.
pleasures of ejaculation grin

2 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by SweetCunt97(f): 5:56pm On May 31, 2020
Focusingmore:


Yeah when you're using walking stick and half blind.

Anyway everyone has their own perspective.

I felt sorry for the guy earning 4k and saving only 800.

Abroad no easy hence why u can't be spending anyhow
4k dollars abi naira shocked
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Millenniumlady(f): 5:56pm On May 31, 2020
SweetCunt97:
Hhhaaaahhaahhaaa. You are funny. There are good obodo oyibo guys here though. If Coco can meet one, I'm sure you can. Just change ur moniker smiley
My moniker ain't the issues because they love strong women who will take down police if they eventually come for them.....Please let them know that i can speak very well i can cook and i can open legs .biko help don't allow all these home base naija guys with corona to get hold of me embarassed
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by SweetCunt97(f): 5:56pm On May 31, 2020
Millenniumlady:
My moniker ain't the issues because they love strong women who will take down police if they eventually come for them.....Please let them know that i can speak very well i can cook and i can open legs .biko help don't allow all these home base naija guys with corona to get hold of me embarassed
Noted. smiley
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by deavicky(m): 5:56pm On May 31, 2020
Amanee:




Nobody asked you all these, always resist the urge to shalaye
if say I never marry I for come marry you.
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by SweetCunt97(f): 5:58pm On May 31, 2020
foleskay:

She's not. Damn serious. She's bn quoting guys even telling them to dm her.
Well, you can't fault her for wanting to be with obodo oyibo guy. Guys do shii to leave this country so why can't a lady try her luck?

1 Like

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by salford1: 5:58pm On May 31, 2020
SweetCunt97:
Is it not better to grant the request of a laptop that will be useful to that person's existence? First laptop I ever owned was given to me brand new by obodo oyibo uncle. Na that laptop I use do final year project until I kicked it off my bed and smashed it...
Well. I graduated uni without a laptop in the last decade. Over 90 percent of my classmates did not have laptops too. We made use of pen drives and cafe computers. We made use of what we had. The most annoying is when you have siblings living under the same roof demanding for seperate laptops. I suggested they share one sent earlier. Excuse was that, the person that got one first was always making use of it.

3 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by xrayj(m): 5:59pm On May 31, 2020
ednut1:
Once abroad resist the urge to post pictures. Find your parents something from time to time. Finish.
What about siblings?
Ur younger ones?
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Focusingmore: 5:59pm On May 31, 2020
SweetCunt97:
4k dollars abi naira shocked

Dollars
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by SweetCunt97(f): 6:00pm On May 31, 2020
salford1:

Well. I graduated uni without a laptop in the last decade. Over 90 percent of my classmates did not have laptops to. We made use of pen drives and cafe computers. The most annoying is when you have siblings living under the same roof demanding for seperate laptops.
Hhsahhaha, you probably graduated years tears ago. Bro to be sincere it's best everyone get their own laptop o.. Personally I can't share my lappy with anyone.
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Nobody: 6:01pm On May 31, 2020
ibkayee:

The level of entitlement is beyond me

He even said that people abroad should give more because 'what's worth doing at all is worth doing well' lmao I think this is one of the funniest things I've ever seen cheesy
People abroad are actually safer from this madness.
In Nigeria, it goes beyond your friends and relatives.

One has to be emotionless to stay afloat in Nigeria.

8 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by salford1: 6:01pm On May 31, 2020
SweetCunt97:
Hhsahhaha, you probably graduated years tears ago. Bro to be sincere it's best everyone get their own laptop o.. Personally I can't share my lappy with anyone.
True, maybe I graduated in a different generation but 2006 wasn't so far away. Like you said, maybe things have changed alot in Nigeria and I am out of touch.
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by xrayj(m): 6:02pm On May 31, 2020
SweetCunt97:
You no get siblings? Won't it b better to assist d ones you can to cross so that the burden of give give go lessen for your side? Abi you an only child?
@bold I tire for the guy O
I understand if u choose not to help friends & relatives. But if u choose not to help siblings, it only means such a person is a bad person!
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by foleskay(m): 6:03pm On May 31, 2020
SweetCunt97:
Well, you can't fault her for wanting to be with obodo oyibo guy. Guys do shii to leave this country so why can't a lady try her luck?
Lol. I know you hv that mindset too cheesy
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by EDGEof2MORO: 6:03pm On May 31, 2020
rentAcock:
Abroad people call me every weekend asking me to send money (not bragging). Many of them are frustrated over there. They work long hours including overtime but the government takes federal, state, city, social security, medicare, medicaid and disability taxes. On top of that, when they buy biscuit, they will still take sales tax. They pay exorbitant rent; those who "own" homes are locked in a loan repayment for 30yrs of which they still have to pay annual taxes for their house. Phone bill can cost over $60 per line, cable $120, internet $80 and they still pay tax on top of it. Burger and chips with soft drink can easily cost you $16 plus tax.

Sure some folks are making over $100,000 theoretically especially healthcare workers in expensive states like California and new York, but by the time they deduct all those taxes from their check, they are left with just $40,000. Then they still have to pay more taxes on every thing they buy. That's not life. It's like a rat wheel, oscillating but not making any progress. I have a cousin who was in the same situation in America, after 10yrs working as a social worker, he returned home and we started up a business. He still regrets all the years he spent slaving away in America. Today, he travels the world on vacation and visiting places he didn't even have time to visit when he was living abroad. It's not too late for Nigerians living abroad to return home; you can make it big here with less stress and you will extend your life span.

Your fictional cousin is a lucky one

4 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by ibkayee(f): 6:03pm On May 31, 2020
sassysure:

People abroad are actually safer from this madness.
In Nigeria, it goes beyond your friends and relatives.

One has to be emotionless to stay afloat in Nigeria.

It's a terrible attitude to have

Mehn I can imagine
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by SweetCunt97(f): 6:03pm On May 31, 2020
Focusingmore:


Dollars
He's an extravagant fellow biko. Patapata 500 dollars will go for monthly bills, 300 to send down to peeps here... Unless he has an ongoing project o.
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Hathor5(f): 6:03pm On May 31, 2020
sassysure:

People abroad are actually safer from this madness.
In Nigeria, it goes beyond your friends and relatives.

One has to be emotionless to stay afloat in Nigeria.


It reminds me of a friend whose mother would spank him when he was a boy because he would start crying when he saw very poor people. undecided
When some people try to teach their kids compassion, she would try to beat it out of her son for the same reason you have described.

1 Like

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Nobody: 6:03pm On May 31, 2020
salford1:

True, maybe I graduated in a different generation but 2006 wasn't so far away. Like you said, maybe things have changed alot in Nigeria and I am out of touch.
See you acting like an elder tongue grin
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by COOL10(m): 6:04pm On May 31, 2020
ogbonti:



Thanks for this exhaustive analysis of the situation overseas. what is baffling to me is the notion that someone or anyone who travels overseas is seen as a financial messiah to friends and family back home in Nigeria. My father used to tell me as a kid that there is nowhere on God’s green earth where money grow on trees. every amount you spend is earned EXCEPT you are into CRIME, you won a LOTTERY or you got an INHERITANCE. The latter is not applicable to anyone who left Nigeria for a foreign country because there is no inheritance for you from someone who is not related to you

Having said that, the actions or some of us overseas is terrible. Agreed a few of us made it to be comfortable, but a whole bunch of us are struggling too financially. The few successful ones go home to paint a rosy picture that life overseas is a piece of cake - and that if you have relatives overseas who are not supporting you means they are stingy and wicked BUT what they won’t tell you is that most of them are into a criminal enterprise or simply sailing under false colors (borrowing from credit cards to impress) or probably became legitimately comfortable financially but makes it seem effortless and easy, it isn’t

HOWEVER - i believe in giving wisely because the bible tells us “blessed is the hand that gives than the hands that takes” but never do so to the detriment of your comfort and future

For example, if you make $4,000 a month after tax (at least that is a decent earning in states that not california, new york or new england area, and you can pay all yours bills and live on $3,000 nothing stops you from giving out $100 to a family members and $100 to a friend once every other month- if you can save $800 a month

NOW that money is not going to be for one family member every month but randomly given to different ones who you truly know are in a bind- TRUST ME, you will be blessed for doing so

My rule is - stick to that budget (5% for charity and 20% savings) because i know bills and expenses will surely consume 75% of what I earn in the western world) - Now whatever i make from doing business or my side hussle is not and will never be shared with anyone- i do not give even 0.000001% of my business profit to anyone -NEVER, that is just my rule and I can’t explain it- period!!!!

Ordinarily, to even save 20% of your earnings and give out 5% of your earning as charity to folks in Nigeria means you are able to earn something decent here in America and you are not burying yourself in debts acquiring liabilities like paying child supports (that’s another story for another day) and you are not buying a new car that you do not need just to keep up with the trend, just generally living a lifestyle that you cannot afford.


So my advise is - “never ever do more than your pocket can accommodate for anyone in Nigeria regardless of the situation because you are not Jesus”. If there is a month no one ask you money or request then keep your money

whenever someone is genuinely in need (not never ending monthly need) You will be blessed when you give - because when someone thanks you and prays for you - there is a feeling of satisfaction in your soul and God listens! NEVER EVER FORGET THAT - and there is no divine rule that says if someone ask you 100,000 naira and you can only give 10,000 naira that you will not be blessed. it’s what you can give - NEVER DO MORE THAN YOUR BUDGET PERMITS

and if someone is ungrateful or acts like - i didn’t do enough, i simply black list that person and will will never get 1 naira from me again because I owe no one nothing, PERIOD!!!!

.

@bolded,even your brothers and sisters may act this way. What do you do then?
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by EDGEof2MORO: 6:05pm On May 31, 2020
Klass99:


I can relate to this post. I had a school mate schooling and working in Russia. She often had to fall back on money contributed by her siblings in Naija to survive. She didn't stay back after school, she came home.

My own cousin returned from Australia, after his Masters. He said the system over there won't allow you live a very comfortable life. Everything is billed and taxed to a point where, you can hardly afford nice but expensive things for yourself.

He said most of the people he befriended had never been on a plane or travelled outside their states of residence, because by the time they are done paying bills, there's very little left for travel. Travelling for them, would mean a financial plan of 6 or 8 months ahead for that trip.

Same shit in Nigeria. If you manage to get a job in the private sector, forget about traveling

2 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Nobody: 6:06pm On May 31, 2020
omonnakoda:
When you grow up marry and have children you have to be "stingy" Nigerians throw that word around with a strong sense of entitlement.

Get your own and stop calling people stingy.

I would rather give money to beggars or random people than any of these entitled Nigerians. Main problems

They feel it is their right
They are not grateful
It is never enough


And when you were single and has nothing, it was those people with strong sense of "entitlement " who helped you grow and became the success which you wouldn't have possibly not smelled?

You're the ungrateful disgusting being ever existed for thinking that way.

After helping you to grow , you now see the person as claiming entitlement? Instead of being grateful. Yall bringing rot that befalls you guys in the name of ,I too sabi.

May God never let us have a friend like you.

1 Like

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by SweetCunt97(f): 6:06pm On May 31, 2020
salford1:

True, maybe I graduated in a different generation but 2006 wasn't so far away. Like you said, maybe things have changed alot in Nigeria and I am out of touch.
Haa, sir you definitely did o, we still dey jss when you graduated na. Anyways things done change. If possible, try bringing some over so d burden will b less. A rich man in d midst of poor relatives na poor man.
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Focusingmore: 6:06pm On May 31, 2020
SweetCunt97:
He's an extravagant fellow biko. Patapata 500 dollars will go for monthly bills, 300 to send down to peeps here... Unless he has an ongoing project o.

No , its just the way it is. Maybe he lives in an expensive city.

It depends, i have a friend who makes 5k in London and saves only 900.

Hire purchase and rent alone don finish am.
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Nobody: 6:06pm On May 31, 2020
ibkayee:

It's a terrible attitude to have

Mehn I can imagine
So terrible. It's in our gene o.
We are never satisfied with what we have.
That's why a politician will steal billions or workers. Everybody.

U must be weird if u act differently.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by SweetCunt97(f): 6:07pm On May 31, 2020
COOL10:
.

You described your uncle in the past tense. How old was he before passing on?
Late 60s
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by smeag0l(m): 6:08pm On May 31, 2020
The complaint on nigerians here feeling that you must send money to them doesnt only apply to nigerians in diaspora. It also applies to nigerians that they feel are doing well here. I'm also posting to fault some of the things I've seen here. First, there's no where in the world where you pay 60% of your pay as tax. The highest I've seen is between 48-52% in some places in Europe and it applies to some levels of income. They run a progressive tax system in most European countries. Secondly, one can send money to someone abroad from Nigeria and ive done it a few times. Not everyone abroad have things going rosy for them.
Then, i want to ask nigerians in diaspora two questions. First, why do most nigerians that have been abroad for a while think everyone else living here in nigeria are never-do-wells and most of them tend to shun their nigerian friends? Secondly, what should be one's net income in nigeria for that person to abandon the idea of travelling abroad?I asked this last question because some of the friends I had while in the university and that are in the US now are asking me why I'm not making any efforts to come over and i usually tell them I'm wondering why I have to.

10 Likes 2 Shares

(1) (2) (3) ... (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) ... (21) (Reply)

Man Designs Posters For Wife’s Lover; Says “stop Sleeping With My Wife Or Die On / Man Walks In On His Wife Feeding Her Lover In Their Home (Photo) / Groom Dies On Wedding Day In Jos, Shocked Bride Lands In Hospital

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2021 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 175
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.