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Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by cococandy(f): 4:30pm On May 31, 2020
lekki1444:
why is it exagerrated that you end up with 40k after tax ?

Not only exaggerated. Shows the poster was not posting from a position of correct information

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Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by InterestedInHed(m): 4:30pm On May 31, 2020
Bills
Bills
Bills
If you have anyone outside or abroad that sends you money or item or whatsoever it might be you should really applause them, over here, you’re spot on with your bills or be homeless and go home, how can you remember to send money to anyone when you’re Paying...Rent, electricity, TV, contract phone or car, food, clothing, no mama or papa or man know man to boycott shiiiii

12 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Amalekki: 4:30pm On May 31, 2020
rentAcock:
Abroad people call me every weekend asking me to send money (not bragging). Many of them are frustrated over there. They work long hours including overtime but the government takes federal, state, city, social security, medicare, medicaid and disability taxes. On top of that, when they buy biscuit, they will still take sales tax. They pay exorbitant rent; those who "own" homes are locked in a loan repayment for 30yrs of which they still have to pay annual taxes for their house. Phone bill can cost over $60 per line, cable $120, internet $80 and they still pay tax on top of it. Burger and chips with soft drink can easily cost you $16 plus tax.

Sure some folks are making over $100,000 theoretically especially healthcare workers in expensive states like California and new York, but by the time they deduct all those taxes from their check, they are left with just $40,000. Then they still have to pay more taxes on every thing they buy. That's not life. It's like a rat wheel, oscillating but not making any progress. I have a cousin who was in the same situation in America, after 10yrs working as a social worker, he returned home and we started up a business. He still regrets all the years he spent slaving away in America. Today, he travels the world on vacation and visiting places he didn't even have time to visit when he was living abroad. It's not too late for Nigerians living abroad to return home; you can make it big here with less stress and you will extend your life span.
grin grin Stop comparing Nigeria with America. Our mates na Senegal, Ghana, Jamaica etc. Just because 3 out of 1 million Nigerians live the normal life of an average American doesn't make yankee our mate ooo.

23 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by timesup234: 4:31pm On May 31, 2020
Nobody is begging anyone abroad for money. We are actually the ones helping them with their bills right here in Nigeria. I have been helping and feeding Americans since I was 15 yrs old

10 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by sunboy(m): 4:31pm On May 31, 2020
eazzzy1:


5. General realization : One day i was going through my bank statement and i noticed i gave out about $500 monthly to family and friends. The same me who will walk into H & M, see a shirt of $40 and think it's too costly. I either buy it grudgingly or wait till it's on sale to buy. I realized i wasn't taking care of myself enough. Most people will come to this realization at a point in their lives.


Well said OP! Your no 5 point reach me to the bones. I recently come to this realization, you’re literally working to take care of them... the sooner everybody realize this the better!

Well said!

4 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by spiritedtete: 4:32pm On May 31, 2020
I think the moment you understand priorities... is the moment you begin to grow. You owe no one nothing.. likewise no one owe you anything.

So if you think you need to assist when you have do so.. abroad or in Nigeria. And if you feel you priorities are greater than helping that person at that moment spell it out for them.


I agreed with what the op wrote. .. However i saw a shallow comment.. talking about how he help people abroad or how the abroad people come back home after studying...

Point is anyone who comes back home after studying but also have the opportunity to work over there and didn't take the chance has something to fall back at home... forget tax and slavery.. outside Nigeria is way better than living and working in Nigeria for now.

But for people like me... I can give excuse that I can't slave abroad.. becuase i was already grounded here before i started travelling out. So i can't be a king in my country and a slave in another man's land.

But if you don't have anything going for you or you are just starting a life.. abroad is way better.

In all.. prioritize your giving... so you won't come back to beg those you have been giving.

26 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by sunboy(m): 4:32pm On May 31, 2020
cococandy:


Not only exaggerated. Shows the poster was not posting from a position of correct information

Big exaggeration! Show me the facts!

What’s taxes do you pay that must that spoil 100k reach 40k ? Which kind tax ?

2 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Prechgold1180(m): 4:32pm On May 31, 2020
Oga dey dont care about u simple
See am a benin guy my grand dad gave birth to like 20 children days if e nurr pass
16 out of the 20 are scattered all over Europe even my own grand mother travelled to France before I was born now am going close to 25

But I have not gotten help Nur any other family member in naijagotten help from any of them
I remember all through my National diploma in auchi my grand ma was only able to send me just 20k 50euro if u ask her for money she ll say she has rent to pay
My ND program was like hell cause I was always broke
I graduated from auchi I had to go into labour market with just National diploma result to gather money for my HND
Gained admission after spending 1 year hustling
I called grandma just for kill assistance she gave me same story
I blocked her number and told my mum dat I v disown her
D next week I heared she sent over a 2000 euro to my granddad for his coronation celebration

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Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by cococandy(f): 4:33pm On May 31, 2020
sunboy:


Big exaggeration! Show me the facts!

What’s taxes do you pay that must that spoil 100k reach 40k ? Which kind tax ?
does not exist.

1 Like

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by bankylan: 4:33pm On May 31, 2020
You LIED. Nowhere in the world where people pay 60% tax. And whoever is calling you every weekend from abroad to send money to them is obviously an illegal immigrant or students still trying to cope. The fact that you don't know how much they even pay on tax casts doubts on your claims here.

In America or Canada where you gave an instance, they don't pay 60% on their first 100k.






rentAcock:
Abroad people call me every weekend asking me to send money (not bragging). Many of them are frustrated over there. They work long hours including overtime but the government takes federal, state, city, social security, medicare, medicaid and disability taxes. On top of that, when they buy biscuit, they will still take sales tax. They pay exorbitant rent; those who "own" homes are locked in a loan repayment for 30yrs of which they still have to pay annual taxes for their house. Phone bill can cost over $60 per line, cable $120, internet $80 and they still pay tax on top of it. Burger and chips with soft drink can easily cost you $16 plus tax.

Sure some folks are making over $100,000 theoretically especially healthcare workers in expensive states like California and new York, but by the time they deduct all those taxes from their check, they are left with just $40,000. Then they still have to pay more taxes on every thing they buy. That's not life. It's like a rat wheel, oscillating but not making any progress. I have a cousin who was in the same situation in America, after 10yrs working as a social worker, he returned home and we started up a business. He still regrets all the years he spent slaving away in America. Today, he travels the world on vacation and visiting places he didn't even have time to visit when he was living abroad. It's not too late for Nigerians living abroad to return home; you can make it big here with less stress and you will extend your life span.

10 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Olawale118(m): 4:33pm On May 31, 2020
I actually came to the fifth point of recent. I can't kill myself trying to satisfy others
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Naija246: 4:34pm On May 31, 2020
Oga what he just said is nothing but the truth.
How many Americans earn 100k a year even?
Very few, and most are in the tech and finance industry.
sunboy:


Yes you are bragging! And your exaggeration is out of this world wow!

In what state do you earn 100k and left with 40k after tax ... are they paying tax to God ? Abeg go and sit down Mr Shalaye

9 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Seankhalifa: 4:36pm On May 31, 2020
rentAcock:
Abroad people call me every weekend asking me to send money (not bragging). Many of them are frustrated over there. They work long hours including overtime but the government takes federal, state, city, social security, medicare, medicaid and disability taxes. On top of that, when they buy biscuit, they will still take sales tax. They pay exorbitant rent; those who "own" homes are locked in a loan repayment for 30yrs of which they still have to pay annual taxes for their house. Phone bill can cost over $60 per line, cable $120, internet $80 and they still pay tax on top of it. Burger and chips with soft drink can easily cost you $16 plus tax.

Sure some folks are making over $100,000 theoretically especially healthcare workers in expensive states like California and new York, but by the time they deduct all those taxes from their check, they are left with just $40,000. Then they still have to pay more taxes on every thing they buy. That's not life. It's like a rat wheel, oscillating but not making any progress. I have a cousin who was in the same situation in America, after 10yrs working as a social worker, he returned home and we started up a business. He still regrets all the years he spent slaving away in America. Today, he travels the world on vacation and visiting places he didn't even have time to visit when he was living abroad. It's not too late for Nigerians living abroad to return home; you can make it big here with less stress and you will extend your life span.
i fit get something grin

3 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Nobody: 4:36pm On May 31, 2020
No wonder my friend who promised to help me in this lockdown recently stopped replying my text.

OP you may be right but a stingy being will always look for an excuse not to assist his friends or even family. It doesn't matter where you are. If you're stingy, it means you're stingy.

If you don't want to help ,you tell them so .its not by force. Instead of promising and giving them Hopes. I've a friend who I gave almost everything I had when he was here in Nigeria hustling. His other friends and family abandoned him. I took him in until to God be the glory for him. He made it out of Nigeria and boom turned back at me. My brother a stingy being is a stingy person. I know alot of people would ask unnecessarily but its left for you to know who could ask when in dire need.

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Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by AllenSpencer: 4:36pm On May 31, 2020
InterestedInHed:
Bills
Bills
Bills
If you have anyone outside or abroad that sends you money or item or whatsoever it might be you should really applause them, over here, you’re spot on with your bills or be homeless and go home, how can you remember to send money to anyone when you’re Paying...Rent, electricity, TV, contract phone or car, food, clothing, no mama or papa or man know man to boycott shiiiii

Let me tell you the truth. Their are classes of Nigerians abroad- The legal and illegals, the skilled and unskilled. Your notion does not cut across all boards.

1 Like

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by HeavenlyHolines(m): 4:38pm On May 31, 2020
Abroad life ehn make I no lie sweet to live and make money but if u want invest,come Nigeria. No place like home as long as investment is concern

4 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Nobody: 4:39pm On May 31, 2020
This table una dey shale so...I decline to comment
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Rubicon67(m): 4:40pm On May 31, 2020
eazzzy1:
Are you a Nigerian? do you have friends and family in diaspora or home who are doing well for themselves but will ignore your request to send money all the time? before you call them stingy or wicked, here are some of the reasons why rich friends do not give out money;

1. They don't have enough: Enough is subjective, someone can earn as much as $100,000/annum but feel he's not earning enough, some people have these dreams of being wealthy and that salary isn't sufficient to get them there. So you have a friend/relative who works in a big firm abroad, you think he's rich, he thinks he isn't earning enough. Even millionaires have needs too.

2. You are not the only one making financial demands: You think you are his best friend because you went to secondary school together and were seat mate or bunk mates in the hostel so automatically he should be predisposed to meeting your needs, well there are primary school best friends, university best friends, first love, NYSC best friends, Neighbours, uncles, aunties, brothers etc who think their request should be met too. It is impossible to meet all these needs.

3. Making financial demand is never a one time thing: I had this habit of giving money to people who ask for financial favors the first time. I thought since they never asked for such before, they must really be in need. I soon found out that after that first time they run to me whenever they need money again, sometimes they space out the request like two months, some every month etc. I then realize that the $100, $200 i send them is never going to be sufficient, they will always come back for more. So i joined the God will provide gang.

4. Yahoo boys : Not every fraudster hacks into companies accounts, or forge the accountants signature, or even find lonely older women/men to scam. Some yahoo boys have resorted to begging, they send you message of how their dad is dying in the hospital, how their sister got arrested for a crime she didn't commit and they need a lawyer bla bla, they call these lies format and once you send them money they pop champagne and call you client.

5. General realization : One day i was going through my bank statement and i noticed i gave out about $500 monthly to family and friends. The same me who will walk into H & M, see a shirt of $40 and think it's too costly. I either buy it grudgingly or wait till it's on sale to buy. I realized i wasn't taking care of myself enough. Most people will come to this realization at a point in their lives.

This thread isn't limited to just people abroad, it include people who work and earn who are home based too. How do you cope with demands?Diasporans what made you rethink your generousity?

Feel free to add yours.

You are so true. I couldn't agree with you more.

However, the most annoying thing for me is the blantant sense of entitlement displayed with some requests.

1 Like

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by faoogoke(m): 4:43pm On May 31, 2020
Interesting! I have a cousin who complained that I was the only one not asking her for money.

I told her its not that I don't have needs but that I understand what she goes through to make the money.

Notwithstanding she still sent me money once.

Then many years later, my mother passed away and I had lost my job and for the first time I asked her for money.

She was quick in sending. It was a real need for me then.

33 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by ibkayee(f): 4:44pm On May 31, 2020
I wonder how often these people asking for money contact their family abroad just to check on their wellbeing without asking for anything

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Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by GuestLog: 4:44pm On May 31, 2020
eazzzy1:


Lol. Nobody makes $100,000 and ends up with $40,000 after deductions. Anyway this is not a homebased vs diasporan thread. How do you cope with the people abroad making financial request?
Have you been to Norway? The more you earn, the higher your tax rates.

3 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Shikena(m): 4:45pm On May 31, 2020
HeavenlyHolines:
Abroad life ehn make I no lie sweet to live and make money but if u want invest,come Nigeria. No place like home as long as investment is concern

In fact, Nigerians abroad should stop sending money home & learn how the economy of their resident countries work. Some Nigerians are making a killing everyday in America but most still need to learn to use the financial system without the Nigerian mindset. We need to learn from the Scots, Indians, Pakistanis, Chinese etc. Stop wasting good investment money on useless ventures in Nigeria. You can do that when you have a flourishing business abroad. Just my opinion.

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Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by rontolo(m): 4:45pm On May 31, 2020
A reason many people don’t have much to give abroad can sometimes be traced to a lack of financial education. People tend to ‘spend up’ as wages remuneration increases. It’s a common problem with our consumption mentality

If you haven’t already, please read the book Rich Dad Poor Dad and /or the richest man in Babylon. These are basic /starter books I read a decade ago and has been life transforming

The secret is: Spend less on consumption. Your income should come more from assets and less your job. Invest-Take advantage of historically low cost of capital to grow your asset columns.

Otherwise, the rat race the op projects will be your trap

12 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by ModestGal(f): 4:46pm On May 31, 2020
oyetpel:
Thank God my cousins are not iike these complainers.

They will refuse to send people money here (when they know the exchange rate is favourable to foreign currency), and then they mock people still stuck in Nigeria.

Despite the struggles my cuzs go through, they always have good things to say about abroad, and i hope i join them soon.




Continue complaining with the little change you send or not sending again, money you can make in one day.

Since you are not sending again, did they die?
Abi o, don't mind them. Let's be grateful we have good families and relatives. All the people I know abroad always tell me how sweet the place is and how they want me to come. Even my friend that recently travelled to South Korea was busy telling me the place is good and how I am missing and telling me different beautiful stories. These yeye stingy Nairalanders are blabbing because of their stingyness. Abeg keep your money, your people won't die

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Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by PigTormentor: 4:46pm On May 31, 2020
cococandy:


Hmm.
Where are these stats coming from?


In fact, the percentage of adults with less than $1,000 in savings increased slightly to 58 percent from 57 percent in 2017. The graphic below shows how much Americans have been saving over the years, beginning in 2014.May 15, 2019

58% of Americans Have Less Than $1,000 in Savings, Survey Findsfinance.yahoo.com › news ›

My assertions are partly factual and partly from experience - When I was living in the US, I knew many people who will call for help while in fact they have more money in their bank account than I did. This has happened to me, friends, other family members in the US.
Yes, living in the US, you will make more but you will also spend more. If care is not taking, you will be living pay check to pay check like the average American.
You will drive the best cars and live in a nice house all on credit and mortgage to be paid for on weekly basis. Whereas, your paddy in Nigeria has built a modest house that is PAID for, a car that is PAID for hence is able to save more than you paying on a 30 yr mortgage that might never be paid off.

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Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Wizygreat12: 4:46pm On May 31, 2020
This Year i have change a lot of bad decisions in my life pleasing my friends and family at home and depressing myself

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Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by cooltola(m): 4:47pm On May 31, 2020
My own philosophy to giving.
1 Give God your first fruit first
2 give the amount that you can afford comfortably without losing any sleep even if someone took advantage of you. If it is N1000 then do it, if it is N100000 then do it. If the person is not happy with amount, then sorry that is what you can do. You are not Dangote, Bill Gates, Abacha.
3 Give cheerfully because God loves a cheerful giver. It is not by force. You have the right not give cash without feeling bad especially if you feel reluctant
4. Before you give, take care of your finances, saving, bills and yourself first. It is not selfish because when you are broke, they will be saying how come you did not save when he or she had money. So use your brain
5 If you give, some people will think you are stingy, if you give too much, some people will think you are an ode, and if you do not give , some people will think you are wicked. Give according to what you can give cheerful and you have the right not to give without feeling guilty.
6. You can give other things apart from money. You can offer spritual support by praying for them.

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Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by ModestGal(f): 4:47pm On May 31, 2020
Amalekki:

grin grin Stop comparing Nigeria with America. Our mates na Senegal, Ghana, Jamaica etc. Just because 3 out of 1 million Nigerians live the normal life of an average American doesn't make yankee our mate ooo.
Don't mind them

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by lekki1444: 4:48pm On May 31, 2020
cococandy:


Not only exaggerated. Shows the poster was not posting from a position of correct information
OK from a position of correct information how much taxes will someone earning 100k pay and how much will they take home. rough estimate, i know there will be variables like how many kids you have etc but just a rough estimate
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by sweetmelanin(f): 4:50pm On May 31, 2020
timesup234:
Nobody is begging anyone abroad for money. We are actually the ones helping them with their bills right here in Nigeria. I have been helping and feeding Americans since I was 15 yrs old

Indeed.

Lmaooooooooo!

11 Likes 1 Share

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