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Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. - Family (7) - Nairaland

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Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by foleskay(m): 5:20pm On May 31, 2020
Hathor5:
I had to leave someone in the past with a heavy heart because I saw what his family was doing to him. I could not see us build a life together because of the pressure they put him under. I am glad I left and I am glad people are opening their eyes to the exploitation taking place in Nigerian families.
You left him at your own peril. I know he's happy u left him. He's nor regretting atal

6 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by lekki1444: 5:21pm On May 31, 2020
xavuv:
Sweet John disciple of Jesus!

5k is too small?? Tell me how much u feel entitled to?

Hmm i know and understand your type.



grin
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Hathor5(f): 5:21pm On May 31, 2020
foleskay:

You left him at your own peril. I know he's happy u left him. He's nor regretting atal

I hope he is very happy wherever he is.

5 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Millenniumlady(f): 5:21pm On May 31, 2020
SweetCunt97:
He has passed away. Sadly.
Find someone else maybe those emeka US or NEDU canada biko help me to connect with one of them i don't want to marry the guys here there not my type help a sister please embarassed

2 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by QueenMyles(f): 5:21pm On May 31, 2020
I have no issues with helping friends and family once in a while. But I had to learn the hard way. My company cut down salaries for a while and I was a bit low on cash yet the same siblings I always sent money to and pay fees for were asking me what I do with my money that I have not even bought a car. I almost cried because every month 60% of my money was spent on helping one friend or relative or helping my parents with one thing or the other. How then do I save to buy a car or land when bills pile up before the check comes? I have advised myself by myself

31 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Sterope(f): 5:22pm On May 31, 2020
Keep your family circle small and prioritise. Ask uncomfortable questions about demands, especially from overbearing parents. When family members push responsibilities like 'why don't you get mum a car', ask them who would be responsible for fuel, repairs etc;

'You should pay so and so fees', ask them if his parents are dead or what happened? If a nephew asks for money, ask him to forward his request to his parents or an outright no. When you give Mr A some money, warn him not to tell Mr B.

There are always exceptions, it is uncomfortable but you will get used to it. Obviously, your 'friends' will not expect you to be financially responsible for them, it doesn't mean you won't care if you really think they need it or if you are feeling charitable.

13 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by MrBigiman: 5:23pm On May 31, 2020
Very true. I decided to do my worst and not to send anyone for the past 7months, and I was surprised how much I saved.

More surprising was the fact that no one died or was homeless from me not sending any money to them

21 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by COOL10(m): 5:24pm On May 31, 2020
SweetCunt97:
God bless that special uncle.. Dude was simply a giver, never complains. He always prepares list of people he'd give money to. People far and wide respected him sooo much. He's simply one of a kind.

Best is simply help the relative cross over so they can hustle and help others, no be to dey how many thousands come dey complain anyhow.
.

You described your uncle in the past tense. How old was he before passing on?

5 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by ibkayee(f): 5:24pm On May 31, 2020
foleskay:

Yes its too small. 5k is equivalent of 2£ or so. If you wanna give, give something tangible and people back home would appreciate. Like 20k and above. Naira is sóo less to pounds, so any small pounds you send would surely hv significant increase in naira. You can do better, that's y they're not appreciating it. 5k na chicking feed in naija
5k is actually approx £10, but I digress

How much does the average Nigerian earn? I'm sure someone would appreciate it

8 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by carpdiemz: 5:24pm On May 31, 2020
eazzzy1:


This is not always the case for immigrants, especially the ones of coming from Africa. There is a minimum wage system in most developed country, meaning no matter what you do, you can not earn below certain amount of money. These wages are put in place with consideration to cost of living, i.e housing, transport, feeding, taxation etc. Most minimum wages are livable wages, you can survive and live comfortably if you live according to your means.

Most Diasporans who come back home only do so because they do not see themselves doing these minimum wage paying jobs. e.g your cousin with a master degree wouldn't want to work as a security or sales associate at a store. Depending on ones course of study, grades, age, past work experience, not every diasporan will get the career of their choice. As long as you are able and willing to work and spend according to your means, you won't suffer.


Don’t mind the op , if your uncle could go for his master degree in Australia it means you guys are from rich homes , schooling in Australia is no beans , and with the part that he came back home ; your uncle came back home bcuz he has family money or someone to fall back too , Australia is better than USA and better than some of the countries Nigerians always go for , talk of jobs there many jobs there with good pay , why won’t u pay tax are u in Nigeria ? Where u don’t pay tax , even Nigerians in Australia don’t want anyone to come and spoil it for them it’s a virgin land , pls stop deceiving people , u want to compare the standard of living in Australia to someone who has millions in Nigeria grin life span is very low here , and talk of money u can’t beat the exchange rate , how many jobs are here in Nigeria , when people say Nigeria is a land of opportunities I laugh , if you don’t have anyone to give u that opportunity my dear u will get old . Living a better life abroad is better than having millions in Nigeria and to get the millions it’s like dreaming

15 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Crochet: 5:25pm On May 31, 2020
Most of the people living abroad are broke but despite that they are comfortable. But note even If you have lived abroad for years , you will always have this mentality that you are a second class citizen and the thought of am not part of this people will always be in your mind. This is what I have experienced and not hear say. As for helping your loved ones back home if you can help them, please do and If you can't let them no, but the idea of ignoring their text messages and phones calls makes no sense.

4 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by snowland(m): 5:25pm On May 31, 2020
Houseofglam7:
The poster above me.......should we tell him?


Please don't tell him yet. Let him found out by himself. I pray he joins them as soon as possible, so that he can also have better things to say about "abroad" .

1 Like

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by foleskay(m): 5:25pm On May 31, 2020
SweetCunt97:
He has passed away. Sadly.
So if he hadn't died, you would hv shared your brother to that leech. She would surely kill him and take him money away
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by salford1: 5:26pm On May 31, 2020
rentAcock:

On top of that, when they buy biscuit, they will still take sales tax. They pay exorbitant rent; those who "own" homes are locked in a loan repayment for 30yrs of which they still have to pay annual taxes for their house. Phone bill can cost over $60 per line, cable $120, internet $80 and they still pay tax on top of it. Burger and chips with soft drink can easily cost you $16 plus tax
This bros must have lived abroad before. grin

Truth is that the house is never really yours even if you pay off the mortgage.

In Canada, the city/municipal can take over the house the moment you stop paying property tax. Property tax alone in my area is like $450 a month on average. I am not complaining though since atleast one can see where the money is being spent. The good roads, garbage pickup, recreational centres, park maintenance, street sweeping e.t.c. Nigeria is not an option.

13 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Toks2008(m): 5:26pm On May 31, 2020
rentAcock:
Abroad people call me every weekend asking me to send money (not bragging). Many of them are frustrated over there. They work long hours including overtime but the government takes federal, state, city, social security, medicare, medicaid and disability taxes. On top of that, when they buy biscuit, they will still take sales tax. They pay exorbitant rent; those who "own" homes are locked in a loan repayment for 30yrs of which they still have to pay annual taxes for their house. Phone bill can cost over $60 per line, cable $120, internet $80 and they still pay tax on top of it. Burger and chips with soft drink can easily cost you $16 plus tax.

Sure some folks are making over $100,000 theoretically especially healthcare workers in expensive states like California and new York, but by the time they deduct all those taxes from their check, they are left with just $40,000. Then they still have to pay more taxes on every thing they buy. That's not life. It's like a rat wheel, oscillating but not making any progress. I have a cousin who was in the same situation in America, after 10yrs working as a social worker, he returned home and we started up a business. He still regrets all the years he spent slaving away in America. Today, he travels the world on vacation and visiting places he didn't even have time to visit when he was living abroad. It's not too late for Nigerians living abroad to return home; you can make it big here with less stress and you will extend your life span.
Hogwash

5 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by pocohantas(f): 5:27pm On May 31, 2020
Sometimes I pity Nigerians in the diaspora sha. How do they cope with all the pressure and expectations? Jeez!

Even people wey get job for Naija no dey rest, the disturbance they will be receiving go be double o.

8 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by monfizzy(m): 5:27pm On May 31, 2020
foleskay:


You sef hear your self. How would you be sending people back home 5k and you expect them to appreciate. How much is 5k. It would hv been better not to send anything than sending that meagre money all the way from the UK. Cmon.

So what do you suggest one send when they’ve atleast 5-10 person seeking some assistance every week? Assuming you’ve 20-30k to spare every week do you give it to one person or split among those seeking for help? Them dey pick money for UK shey?

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by cooltola(m): 5:28pm On May 31, 2020
PigTormentor:


You are preaching to the wrong person. I have gone past that stage. I live in the US for 35 years, I now live in Nigeria.
I didn't say they ride the best cars in America, I mean they will ride cars that people in Nigeria will consider very good. So on social media, they will look like they have it all made, not knowing that they are living pay check to pay check. That's the point.
I just gave you all I that happened to me and others in the past and are still happening.

You are right Sir

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by pocohantas(f): 5:28pm On May 31, 2020
foleskay:


You sef hear your self. How would you be sending people back home 5k and you expect them to appreciate. How much is 5k. It would hv been better not to send anything than sending that meagre money all the way from the UK. Cmon.

Are you for real?? When he has multiple people to give, what do you expect him to do?

People forget that they are not the only ones asking him. Neither are they the only one he is sending to!!

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by salford1: 5:29pm On May 31, 2020
pocohantas:
Sometimes I pity Nigerians in the diaspora sha. How do they cope with all the pressure and expectations? Jeez!

Even people wey get job for Naija no dey rest, the disturbance they will be receiving go be double o.
Na laptop request from distance cousins dey reign now grin

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by foleskay(m): 5:30pm On May 31, 2020
ibkayee:

5k is actually approx £10, but I digress

How much does the average Nigerian earn? I'm sure someone would appreciate it

Yeah. If its btw Nigerians now, people would surely appreciate. Even if its 2k, since we live in the same country. But people won't appreciate someone living in the US or UK sending amount of money like 5k to them back home. Some would even think he's struggling back there grin

1 Like

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Yankee101: 5:31pm On May 31, 2020
bjprodint:
i pray i make it in life so that i can always send my old dad money.i havent done so this year.

It's part of the cycle of blessings

Try and send something to him this week, and it doesn't have to be much. Send something every single month no matter how little. People delay and begin to borrow in regret to bury late parents


It's the action and intention that draws blessings when they pray for you
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Hathor5(f): 5:31pm On May 31, 2020
foleskay:


You sef hear your self. How would you be sending people back home 5k and you expect them to appreciate. How much is 5k. It would hv been better not to send anything than sending that meagre money all the way from the UK. Cmon.

If you can't appreciate a little, you are not worth a lot.

6 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Golan007: 5:31pm On May 31, 2020
oyetpel:
Thank God my cousins are not iike these complainers.

They will refuse to send people money here (when they know the exchange rate is favourable to foreign currency), and then they mock people still stuck in Nigeria.

Despite the struggles my cuzs go through, they always have good things to say about abroad, and i hope i join them soon.


Continue complaining with the little change you send or not sending again, money you can make in one day.

Since you are not sending again, did they die?


Read again since you didn't comprehend the first time.

2 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by pocohantas(f): 5:31pm On May 31, 2020
salford1:

Na laptop request from distance cousins dey reign now grin

LAPTOP? You told them you work in hp abi Del?
cheesy cheesy

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Meninmen: 5:32pm On May 31, 2020
rentAcock:
Abroad people call me every weekend asking me to send money (not bragging). Many of them are frustrated over there. They work long hours including overtime but the government takes federal, state, city, social security, medicare, medicaid and disability taxes. On top of that, when they buy biscuit, they will still take sales tax. They pay exorbitant rent; those who "own" homes are locked in a loan repayment for 30yrs of which they still have to pay annual taxes for their house. Phone bill can cost over $60 per line, cable $120, internet $80 and they still pay tax on top of it. Burger and chips with soft drink can easily cost you $16 plus tax.

Sure some folks are making over $100,000 theoretically especially healthcare workers in expensive states like California and new York, but by the time they deduct all those taxes from their check, they are left with just $40,000. Then they still have to pay more taxes on every thing they buy. That's not life. It's like a rat wheel, oscillating but not making any progress. I have a cousin who was in the same situation in America, after 10yrs working as a social worker, he returned home and we started up a business. He still regrets all the years he spent slaving away in America. Today, he travels the world on vacation and visiting places he didn't even have time to visit when he was living abroad. It's not too late for Nigerians living abroad to return home; you can make it big here with less stress and you will extend your life span.



Bros, out of every 20 Nigerians that go to US, Canada, UK, Australia, etc only 2 will not make it. There are more Nigerians making it abroad. I have countless testimonies that I Can't mention.

80% of all the big big houses in my city are owned by people living abroad. Forget all these talk. People are making it abroad.

Even my professional colleagues are moving out of the country in hundreds Every year. They just need like 2 to 3 years (some less sef) to settle down, then money will start rolling in.

15 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Arrogantbro(m): 5:32pm On May 31, 2020
QueenMyles:
I have no issues with helping friends and family once in a while. But I had to learn the hard way. My company cut down salaries for a while and I was a bit low on cash yet the same siblings I always sent money to and pay fees for were asking me what I do with my money that I have not even bought a car. I almost cried because every month 60% of my money was spent on helping one friend or relative or helping my parents with one thing or the other. How then do I save to buy a car or land when bills pile up before the check comes? I have advised myself by myself
No one knows the struggle, they only see the trouble. Good you have learned how to manage your savings well. Don't give up, things will definitely fall back in place

1 Like

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by frankson1(m): 5:35pm On May 31, 2020
Millenniumlady:
Are you married ? I want abroad husband you guys should help me out biko embarassed




No 'hanty', I don't want you because your signature scare me grin.

Find out from @Pig Tormentor or Evil Forest cheesy
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Ennyholar: 5:36pm On May 31, 2020
Why depend on your friends in diaspora when you can earn buying selling Airtime using Airtel Xpress recharge. Dial *432# to start.
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by foleskay(m): 5:36pm On May 31, 2020
monfizzy:


So what do you suggest one send when they’ve atleast 5-10 person seeking some assistance every week? Assuming you’ve 20-30k to spare every week do you give it to one person or split among those seeking for help? Them dey pick money for UK shey?
Every week keh. But even at that, you could rotate the money amongst them. For like, you reduce the number of people u send money to 1 or 2 in a week. Then give some gaps, maybe d following two months the other people you've not given would then get d money. With that the money wilk carry weight and would reduce their demand.
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by foleskay(m): 5:38pm On May 31, 2020
Hathor5:


If you can't appreciate a little, you are not worth a lot.
Then the little shouldn't be sent atal. because it won't be appreciated cry

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