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Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. - Family (6) - Nairaland

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Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by omonnakoda: 5:03pm On May 31, 2020
rentAcock:
Abroad people call me every weekend asking me to send money (not bragging). Many of them are frustrated over there. They work long hours including overtime but the government takes federal, state, city, social security, medicare, medicaid and disability taxes. On top of that, when they buy biscuit, they will still take sales tax. They pay exorbitant rent; those who "own" homes are locked in a loan repayment for 30yrs of which they still have to pay annual taxes for their house. Phone bill can cost over $60 per line, cable $120, internet $80 and they still pay tax on top of it. Burger and chips with soft drink can easily cost you $16 plus tax.

Sure some folks are making over $100,000 theoretically especially healthcare workers in expensive states like California and new York, but by the time they deduct all those taxes from their check, they are left with just $40,000. Then they still have to pay more taxes on every thing they buy. That's not life. It's like a rat wheel, oscillating but not making any progress. I have a cousin who was in the same situation in America, after 10yrs working as a social worker, he returned home and we started up a business. He still regrets all the years he spent slaving away in America. Today, he travels the world on vacation and visiting places he didn't even have time to visit when he was living abroad. It's not too late for Nigerians living abroad to return home; you can make it big here with less stress and you will extend your life span.

It is better than Nigeria. Like for like. Besides quality of life is better,electricity, healthcare amenities Good credit facilities if you know how to use it,etc.
If you are a nurse or doctor on average there is no comparison. Even Buhari avoids our hospitals. You PAY TAX and get VALUE FOR TAX AND ACCOUNTABILITY.

Why should you not pay tax.? That is the toxic mentality we have in Nigeria


If there is a fire at your home there is a response
There are decent schools for your children

Is there no VAT in Nigeria?

Let us leave all these consolation stories.

If you or a family member has a serious illness in Nigeria you are effed.

Yes we should build our country but we won't do this by deceiving ourselves

16 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Millenniumlady(f): 5:04pm On May 31, 2020
SweetCunt97:
God bless that special uncle.. Dude was simply a giver, never complains. He always prepares list of people he'd give money to. People far and wide respected him sooo much. He's simply one of a kind.

Best is simply help the relative cross over so they can hustle and help others, no be to dey how many thousands come dey complain anyhow.
Please introduce me to him is he married ? If yes does he have a side chick ? I think I can fit into one of those position .
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by sweetmelanin(f): 5:04pm On May 31, 2020
ModestGal:

Lol, who says I'm not, in my own family we don't give because we are rich or poor, we give because it strengthen love. And it is the older that gives to younger, or you expect me to be giving my relatives abroad money when i was a university student?
Anyway, I understand why people like you are so angry and stingy to your own family, its because you were raised hostile.
I pray to be rich, very rich, for just my siblings and relatives alone, there's no happiness as much as that. That is how normal people should think, not already shaming them when they are yet to even ask you.

Indeed. That's why you admitted to collecting money from those abroad lipsrsealed

Madam preacher, my question to you is, do you also send money to those abroad? Or you see them as ATM machines only there to be taken from!

11 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by cooltola(m): 5:05pm On May 31, 2020
PigTormentor:



In fact, the percentage of adults with less than $1,000 in savings increased slightly to 58 percent from 57 percent in 2017. The graphic below shows how much Americans have been saving over the years, beginning in 2014.May 15, 2019

58% of Americans Have Less Than $1,000 in Savings, Survey Findsfinance.yahoo.com › news ›

My assertions are partly factual and partly from experience - When I was living in the US, I knew many people who will call for help while in fact they have more money in their bank account than I did. This has happened to me, friends, other family members in the US.
Yes, living in the US, you will make more but you will also spend more. If care is not taking, you will be living pay check to pay check like the average American.
You will drive the best cars and live in a nice house all on credit and mortgage to be paid for on weekly basis. Whereas, your paddy in Nigeria has built a modest house that is PAID for, a car that is PAID for hence is able to save more than you paying on a 30 yr mortgage that might never be paid off.

You do not have to drive the best car in America , they sell used car that one can afford. They look nice, drive well


Financial discipline is key, even a wealthy man in Nigeria can lose money. It happened to my late relative who was wealthy back in the day who had a house and drove a Mercedes Benz, he died a broke man. Failure to invest your money can cause one to lose money.

Cutting unnecessary expenses help, stop eating outside too often in America. You know how much eating out cost. If you are not into gym, then avoid paying for gym. Exercise can be cheap

Avoid baby mama in America, because child support is expensive.

Do ajo in America, it works and it helps you save.

You can build house in Nigeria even when you work here in America

And most importantly, buying a house you can afford as long the area is safe,it is not by force to live in the expensive area or the happening places.

14 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Millenniumlady(f): 5:06pm On May 31, 2020
frankson1:






You are so on point but let me tell you about number 5. One day I realised that I had just a black shoe I wear to church and didn't have lots of clothes in my wardrobe. I took calculator and punched the figures to check how much I make for a year and afterwards I checked my account balance and what was there was embarrassing. I never knew I was working and paying family and friends until that moment. So I took a hard decision to take care of myself. I ignored them for about 3 months.

If you follow the folks who request for money every now and then you will keep struggling.

I give them 'bobo juice' now because I cannot come and kill myself.
Are you married ? I want abroad husband you guys should help me out biko embarassed
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by BabaJoe001: 5:07pm On May 31, 2020
rentAcock:
Abroad people call me every weekend asking me to send money (not bragging). Many of them are frustrated over there. They work long hours including overtime but the government takes federal, state, city, social security, medicare, medicaid and disability taxes. On top of that, when they buy biscuit, they will still take sales tax. They pay exorbitant rent; those who "own" homes are locked in a loan repayment for 30yrs of which they still have to pay annual taxes for their house. Phone bill can cost over $60 per line, cable $120, internet $80 and they still pay tax on top of it. Burger and chips with soft drink can easily cost you $16 plus tax.

Sure some folks are making over $100,000 theoretically especially healthcare workers in expensive states like California and new York, but by the time they deduct all those taxes from their check, they are left with just $40,000. Then they still have to pay more taxes on every thing they buy. That's not life. It's like a rat wheel, oscillating but not making any progress. I have a cousin who was in the same situation in America, after 10yrs working as a social worker, he returned home and we started up a business. He still regrets all the years he spent slaving away in America. Today, he travels the world on vacation and visiting places he didn't even have time to visit when he was living abroad. It's not too late for Nigerians living abroad to return home; you can make it big here with less stress and you will extend your life span.

Lol abroad different from abroad. May be those begging you dey Oman.. definitely not in the US or UK. People are making it well over there Stop exargerating .. no one go even get time to dey beg you when they get to the US. ... a friend received 5 million from his Aunt in the US to start a business. I wonder who will give you such in Nigeria and the aunty had only spent 7 years in US .you are definitely sounding like someone that has been denied american VISA 7 times. Lies full this your comment. Enter you US, you will not want to come back again.

17 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by xavuv(m): 5:07pm On May 31, 2020
Sweet John disciple of Jesus!

5k is too small?? Tell me how much u feel entitled to?

Hmm i know and understand your type.



foleskay:


You sef hear your self. How would you be sending people back home 5k and you expect them to appreciate. How much is 5k. It would hv been better not to send anything than sending that meagre money all the way from the UK. Cmon.

14 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by ChilamNk(m): 5:08pm On May 31, 2020
Another is when you pose and take nice pictures in a nice and beautiful environment and send them to your social media handle.. You create this impression on the minds of your friends and family that you are already living big and large. . so they come for you!

9 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Hathor5(f): 5:08pm On May 31, 2020
I had to leave someone in the past with a heavy heart because I saw what his family was doing to him. I could not see us build a life together because of the pressure they put him under. I am glad I left and I am glad people are opening their eyes to the exploitation taking place in Nigerian families.

9 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Seeeeeeee: 5:10pm On May 31, 2020
Please if you check my thread I opened I am in need of loan to finish my 4 self-contain rooms for rent.

I am a Federal Government Staff, will someone be kind enough to borrow me 500,000 naira . Then he/she gives me a repayment plan.

I want to use and finish it.
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by COOL10(m): 5:10pm On May 31, 2020
PigTormentor:
I will agree that your points cover most of the reasons why some don't send money just to anyone.

Another one is that, people in Nigeria feel entitled and think that it's your duty to assist whenever they come up with another "school fees ", "rent" and "medical" stories.
They might have even called or reached out to you when you were even not in good financial position but they think just because you are in the US , then you.must be able to help.

I have told this to many people in the past, - a lot of people in Nigeria have more in their savings accounts than most Nigerians abroad.
A lot of Americans don't have 1000 dollars in their accounts, they live pay check to pay check.
So how can they help you with school fees when they have Bill's to pay.
.


Just stop picking up their calls and send them money when you can. If something bad should happen to such person now,those same family members will move on with their lives.
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Seeeeeeee: 5:10pm On May 31, 2020
eazzzy1:
Are you a Nigerian? do you have friends and family in diaspora or home who are doing well for themselves but will ignore your request to send money all the time? before you call them stingy or wicked, here are some of the reasons why rich friends do not give out money;

1. They don't have enough: Enough is subjective, someone can earn as much as $100,000/annum but feel he's not earning enough, some people have these dreams of being wealthy and that salary isn't sufficient to get them there. So you have a friend/relative who works in a big firm abroad, you think he's rich, he thinks he isn't earning enough. Even millionaires have needs too.

2. You are not the only one making financial demands: You think you are his best friend because you went to secondary school together and were seat mate or bunk mates in the hostel so automatically he should be predisposed to meeting your needs, well there are primary school best friends, university best friends, first love, NYSC best friends, Neighbours, uncles, aunties, brothers etc who think their request should be met too. It is impossible to meet all these needs.

3. Making financial demand is never a one time thing: I had this habit of giving money to people who ask for financial favors the first time. I thought since they never asked for such before, they must really be in need. I soon found out that after that first time they run to me whenever they need money again, sometimes they space out the request like two months, some every month etc. I then realize that the $100, $200 i send them is never going to be sufficient, they will always come back for more. So i joined the God will provide gang.

4. Yahoo boys : Not every fraudster hacks into companies accounts, or forge the accountants signature, or even find lonely older women/men to scam. Some yahoo boys have resorted to begging, they send you message of how their dad is dying in the hospital, how their sister got arrested for a crime she didn't commit and they need a lawyer bla bla, they call these lies format and once you send them money they pop champagne and call you client.

5. General realization : One day i was going through my bank statement and i noticed i gave out about $500 monthly to family and friends. The same me who will walk into H & M, see a shirt of $40 and think it's too costly. I either buy it grudgingly or wait till it's on sale to buy. I realized i wasn't taking care of myself enough. Most people will come to this realization at a point in their lives.

This thread isn't limited to just people abroad, it include people who work and earn who are home based too. How do you cope with demands?Diasporans what made you rethink your generousity?

Feel free to add yours.
Please if you check my thread I opened I am in need of loan to finish my 4 self-contain rooms for rent.

I am a Federal Government Staff, will someone be kind enough to borrow me 500,000 naira . Then he/she gives me a repayment plan.

I want to use and finish it.
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by ModestGal(f): 5:11pm On May 31, 2020
sweetmelanin:


Indeed. That's why you admitted to collecting money from those abroad lipsrsealed

Madam preacher, my question to you is, do you also send money to those abroad? Or you see them as ATM machines only there to be taken from!

Lol, I guess you didn't put your glasses on. I said I do not request for money, and even if I did, my relatives would be happy to send.
If you think someone would take you as an ATM machine even before they ask you, my sis, you need check up. Those kind of thought should never come to your head especially with your family members, even if they are actually doing that, you should explain to them and guide them right. Not coming on NL to tell us how your people think you are an ATM machine. Its unheard of

Please don't bother to quote me again, do as you wish, they are your family not mine.
If you like think of them as a devil because you don comot Naija

2 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by ViktorCash: 5:11pm On May 31, 2020
Bullsh*t! If you get money,you get money cool
eazzzy1:
Are you a Nigerian? do you have friends and family in diaspora or home who are doing well for themselves but will ignore your request to send money all the time? before you call them stingy or wicked, here are some of the reasons why rich friends do not give out money;

1. They don't have enough: Enough is subjective, someone can earn as much as $100,000/annum but feel he's not earning enough, some people have these dreams of being wealthy and that salary isn't sufficient to get them there. So you have a friend/relative who works in a big firm abroad, you think he's rich, he thinks he isn't earning enough. Even millionaires have needs too.

2. You are not the only one making financial demands: You think you are his best friend because you went to secondary school together and were seat mate or bunk mates in the hostel so automatically he should be predisposed to meeting your needs, well there are primary school best friends, university best friends, first love, NYSC best friends, Neighbours, uncles, aunties, brothers etc who think their request should be met too. It is impossible to meet all these needs.

3. Making financial demand is never a one time thing: I had this habit of giving money to people who ask for financial favors the first time. I thought since they never asked for such before, they must really be in need. I soon found out that after that first time they run to me whenever they need money again, sometimes they space out the request like two months, some every month etc. I then realize that the $100, $200 i send them is never going to be sufficient, they will always come back for more. So i joined the God will provide gang.

4. Yahoo boys : Not every fraudster hacks into companies accounts, or forge the accountants signature, or even find lonely older women/men to scam. Some yahoo boys have resorted to begging, they send you message of how their dad is dying in the hospital, how their sister got arrested for a crime she didn't commit and they need a lawyer bla bla, they call these lies format and once you send them money they pop champagne and call you client.

5. General realization : One day i was going through my bank statement and i noticed i gave out about $500 monthly to family and friends. The same me who will walk into H & M, see a shirt of $40 and think it's too costly. I either buy it grudgingly or wait till it's on sale to buy. I realized i wasn't taking care of myself enough. Most people will come to this realization at a point in their lives.

This thread isn't limited to just people abroad, it include people who work and earn who are home based too. How do you cope with demands?Diasporans what made you rethink your generousity?

Feel free to add yours.
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by hakeem4(m): 5:11pm On May 31, 2020
rentAcock:
Abroad people call me every weekend asking me to send money (not bragging). Many of them are frustrated over there. They work long hours including overtime but the government takes federal, state, city, social security, medicare, medicaid and disability taxes. On top of that, when they buy biscuit, they will still take sales tax. They pay exorbitant rent; those who "own" homes are locked in a loan repayment for 30yrs of which they still have to pay annual taxes for their house. Phone bill can cost over $60 per line, cable $120, internet $80 and they still pay tax on top of it. Burger and chips with soft drink can easily cost you $16 plus tax.

Sure some folks are making over $100,000 theoretically especially healthcare workers in expensive states like California and new York, but by the time they deduct all those taxes from their check, they are left with just $40,000. Then they still have to pay more taxes on every thing they buy. That's not life. It's like a rat wheel, oscillating but not making any progress. I have a cousin who was in the same situation in America, after 10yrs working as a social worker, he returned home and we started up a business. He still regrets all the years he spent slaving away in America. Today, he travels the world on vacation and visiting places he didn't even have time to visit when he was living abroad. It's not too late for Nigerians living abroad to return home; you can make it big here with less stress and you will extend your life span.

Yes, I agree with 90% of what you said, but earning 100K and left with 40K is just an exaggeration. at best you would be left with 65k even if you are living in New York city

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by omonnakoda: 5:12pm On May 31, 2020
eazzzy1:


Lol. Nobody makes $100,000 and ends up with $40,000 after deductions. Anyway this is not a homebased vs diasporan thread. How do you cope with the people abroad making financial request?
Do not mind the joker.
If you manage your affairs properly taking advantage of 401 K and other things you could pay zero tax on that income

You don't have to buy a car on finance. If you are focused you live within your means

3 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by madridsta007(m): 5:12pm On May 31, 2020
eazzzy1:
Are you a Nigerian? do you have friends and family in diaspora or home who are doing well for themselves but will ignore your request to send money all the time? before you call them stingy or wicked, here are some of the reasons why rich friends do not give out money;

1. They don't have enough: Enough is subjective, someone can earn as much as $100,000/annum but feel he's not earning enough, some people have these dreams of being wealthy and that salary isn't sufficient to get them there. So you have a friend/relative who works in a big firm abroad, you think he's rich, he thinks he isn't earning enough. Even millionaires have needs too.

2. You are not the only one making financial demands: You think you are his best friend because you went to secondary school together and were seat mate or bunk mates in the hostel so automatically he should be predisposed to meeting your needs, well there are primary school best friends, university best friends, first love, NYSC best friends, Neighbours, uncles, aunties, brothers etc who think their request should be met too. It is impossible to meet all these needs.

3. Making financial demand is never a one time thing: I had this habit of giving money to people who ask for financial favors the first time. I thought since they never asked for such before, they must really be in need. I soon found out that after that first time they run to me whenever they need money again, sometimes they space out the request like two months, some every month etc. I then realize that the $100, $200 i send them is never going to be sufficient, they will always come back for more. So i joined the God will provide gang.

4. Yahoo boys : Not every fraudster hacks into companies accounts, or forge the accountants signature, or even find lonely older women/men to scam. Some yahoo boys have resorted to begging, they send you message of how their dad is dying in the hospital, how their sister got arrested for a crime she didn't commit and they need a lawyer bla bla, they call these lies format and once you send them money they pop champagne and call you client.

5. General realization : One day i was going through my bank statement and i noticed i gave out about $500 monthly to family and friends. The same me who will walk into H & M, see a shirt of $40 and think it's too costly. I either buy it grudgingly or wait till it's on sale to buy. I realized i wasn't taking care of myself enough. Most people will come to this realization at a point in their lives.

This thread isn't limited to just people abroad, it include people who work and earn who are home based too. How do you cope with demands?Diasporans what made you rethink your generousity?

Feel free to add yours.

6. Entitlement Mentality: This goes without saying. Any Nigerian who is "abroad" and legal is often quite busy- working, networking, studying, etc. His or her time is very premium to him/her. He or she has grown to understand value systems and concept of respect, gratitude, hard work, adaptability, flexibility, etc. Believe me, beyond what people say, the Nigerian "abroad" is not generally stingy; there is nothing "abroad" does to you that makes you stingy. If you are stingy "abroad" you must have been stingy in Nigeria. It is your character.

While the person "abroad" wants to help, the Nigerian in Nigeria should understand that you are NOT entitled to anything from this person abroad, unless you have a signed contract with the person. Hence if the person does anything for you, say "thank you" and mean it. You will not die. If the person spends hours speaking to you, chasing up things for you, and at the last minute, you drop the idea, PLEASE make sure you explain your reasons to the person and dont just ghost the person abroad. Believe me, he/she will regret ever making contact with you- his/her time is SO precious. Regardless of whom you are to him/her you are NOT entitled to his/her time. NO. Again, this person abroad will prefer you come to him/her with money-making ideas and NOT just begging each time. If you do that each time, he/she will avoid your calls and emails. I cant stress that enough.
Unfortunately Nigerians today, especially young Nigerians, are so entitled that you will wonder if it is a curse from somewhere. It annoys the Nigerian abroad and believe me, he/she will eventually avoid you. YOU ARENOT ENTITLED TO ANYONE'S MONEY OR TIME! Regard it! Express genuine gratitude! You wont die! grin

I once spent my time and resources to chase up a scholarship for someone to go to the US. After getting everything done in the US, this fellow in Nigeria told me he wasnt interested again as, "I dont like the course". Really In the end I had to apologise and create a reason to the University why the student couldnt come. This was three years ago. Today, the student is still going up and down and hasnt moved an inch from where he was 3 years ago. For me, I regret that my time was wasted and I had to re-build my reputation with this particular institution. Why Nigerians are so inflexible with opportunities and don’t understand the concept of time annoys me.

I can go on and on, but you get my point.

19 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by betonnaira: 5:14pm On May 31, 2020
rubbish post

3 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by foleskay(m): 5:15pm On May 31, 2020
xavuv:
Sweet John disciple of Jesus!

5k is too small?? Tell me how much u feel entitled to?

Hmm i know and understand your type.



Yes its too small. 5k is equivalent of 2£ or so. If you wanna give, give something tangible and people back home would appreciate. Like 20k and above. Naira is sóo less to pounds, so any small pounds you send would surely hv significant increase in naira. You can do better, that's y they're not appreciating it. 5k na chicking feed in naija

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Nobody: 5:15pm On May 31, 2020
Several times, a Nigeria man living in the UK for many years told his family here that he is cash trapped. Months later, his younger brother watched a live CD of KWAM1 in Manchester at a friend's crib and saw where his senior man splashed hard currencies in $£ on the fuji icon. He quickly rushed to get a copy and played it to his family.

How about the diasporan guys who claim to be financially constrain to their families here, but end up sending bulky cash and expensive gifts to Nigerian girls they meet on facebook, twitter, IG, nairaland, other social medias? Many things dey happen for SM backdoor!

And how about a deltan man left Nigeria to US 29 years ago claimed to be broke too? He was traced to his mansion home by a family friend (a lawyer) living outside his state of residence. He's so rich! Well, I don't understand the science behind this one.

Should I tell more? E plenty!

Op, I know this your claim is true but don't generalise it. I know as e dey go there. Diasporan guys are now coded big ballers!!

4 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by sweetmelanin(f): 5:15pm On May 31, 2020
ModestGal:

Lol, I guess you didn't put your glasses on. I said I do not request for money, and even if I did, my relatives would be happy to send.
If you think someone would take you as an ATM machine even before they ask you, my sis, you need check up. Those kind of thought should never come to your head especially with your family members, even if they are actually doing that, you should explain to them and guide them right. Not coming on NL to tell us how your people think you are an ATM machine. Its unheard of

Please don't bother to quote me again, do as you wish, they are your family not mine.
If you like think of them as a devil because you don comot Naija

You quoted me first madam. Lol.

..and I see you've avoided my question because indeed you see your family members abroad as ATM machines!

Please work for your own money and support them too.. giving is not a one way street!

17 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by PigTormentor: 5:16pm On May 31, 2020
cooltola:


You do not have to drive the best car in America , they sell used car that one can afford. They look nice, drive well


Financial discipline is key, even a wealthy man in Nigeria can lose money. It happened to my late relative who was wealthy back in the day who had a house and drove a Mercedes Benz, he died a broke man. Failure to invest your money can cause one to lose money.

Cutting unnecessary expenses help, stop eating outside too often in America. You know how much eating out cost. If you are not into gym, then avoid paying for gym. Exercise can be cheap

Avoid baby mama in America, because child support is expensive.

Do ajo in America, it works and it helps you save.

You can build house in Nigeria even when you work here in America

And most importantly, buying a house you can afford as long the area is safe,it is not by force to live in the expensive area or the happening places.


You are preaching to the wrong person. I have gone past that stage. I live in the US for 35 years, I now live in Nigeria.
I didn't say they ride the best cars in America, I mean they will ride cars that people in Nigeria will consider very good. So on social media, they will look like they have it all made, not knowing that they are living pay check to pay check. That's the point.
I just gave you all I that happened to me and others in the past and are still happening.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Focusingmore: 5:16pm On May 31, 2020
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Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by sleeknaija(m): 5:16pm On May 31, 2020
eazzzy1:
Are you a Nigerian? do you have friends and family in diaspora or home who are doing well for themselves but will ignore your request to send money all the time? before you call them stingy or wicked, here are some of the reasons why rich friends do not give out money;

1. They don't have enough: Enough is subjective, someone can earn as much as $100,000/annum but feel he's not earning enough, some people have these dreams of being wealthy and that salary isn't sufficient to get them there. So you have a friend/relative who works in a big firm abroad, you think he's rich, he thinks he isn't earning enough. Even millionaires have needs too.

2. You are not the only one making financial demands: You think you are his best friend because you went to secondary school together and were seat mate or bunk mates in the hostel so automatically he should be predisposed to meeting your needs, well there are primary school best friends, university best friends, first love, NYSC best friends, Neighbours, uncles, aunties, brothers etc who think their request should be met too. It is impossible to meet all these needs.

3. Making financial demand is never a one time thing: I had this habit of giving money to people who ask for financial favors the first time. I thought since they never asked for such before, they must really be in need. I soon found out that after that first time they run to me whenever they need money again, sometimes they space out the request like two months, some every month etc. I then realize that the $100, $200 i send them is never going to be sufficient, they will always come back for more. So i joined the God will provide gang.

4. Yahoo boys : Not every fraudster hacks into companies accounts, or forge the accountants signature, or even find lonely older women/men to scam. Some yahoo boys have resorted to begging, they send you message of how their dad is dying in the hospital, how their sister got arrested for a crime she didn't commit and they need a lawyer bla bla, they call these lies format and once you send them money they pop champagne and call you client.

5. General realization : One day i was going through my bank statement and i noticed i gave out about $500 monthly to family and friends. The same me who will walk into H & M, see a shirt of $40 and think it's too costly. I either buy it grudgingly or wait till it's on sale to buy. I realized i wasn't taking care of myself enough. Most people will come to this realization at a point in their lives.

This thread isn't limited to just people abroad, it include people who work and earn who are home based too. How do you cope with demands?Diasporans what made you rethink your generousity?

Feel free to add yours.

I like point number 5, its simply referring to me cool cheesy

1 Like

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by HeavenlyHolines(m): 5:17pm On May 31, 2020
The issue of staying or living n making it abroad is just God's grace, favour and hard work because u can b in UK n not b OK,u can be in US n b USeless. Some persons will stay here for years n still will b like a puppets in Nigeria. As long as all fruit can't grow in one country, so making it abroad is not for everyone. Pray so that God will show u where u belong like Isaac in the bible so that ur case wouldn't b like Naomi n her family. Shalon

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by SweetCunt97(f): 5:18pm On May 31, 2020
Millenniumlady:
Please introduce me to him is he married ? If yes does he have a side chick ? I think I can fit into one of those position .
He has passed away. Sadly.
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by omonnakoda: 5:18pm On May 31, 2020
Focusingmore:
.
You have bad mouth

Is there a duty to get rich?
Must everyone be rich?
If you are not rich you are not human?
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by tillaman(m): 5:19pm On May 31, 2020
SweetCunt97:
Na so u stingy? This money you no carry 1kobo ball out o
of course ma’am, I am nothing close to the word stingy especially to family and friends, it’s just that silly vibe you get from certain people whenever you tell them to give you time to come up with something, lucky for me whatever I give my parents is a plus, but my issue is with friends feeling entitled, That sense of entitlement I don’t even get from my family I get it from friends! It’s really sad people don’t care what you do to make this money they just feel it’s your right to raise them steady

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Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by COOL10(m): 5:19pm On May 31, 2020
wisdomiskey:


How dare you feel entitled to money someone else worked for? angry

People with your mindset often live and DIE in poverty because they spend they whole life with a bambiala mentality.
.

That comment pissed me off. Nigerians are wicked shaa

5 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Focusingmore: 5:20pm On May 31, 2020
omonnakoda:

You have bad mouth

Is there a duty to get rich?
Must everyone be rich?
If you are not rich you are not human?

Why is he working so? I tire ..
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by tayo85: 5:20pm On May 31, 2020
Suffering is Relative.
eazzzy1:


This is not always the case for immigrants, especially the ones of coming from Africa. There is a minimum wage system in most developed country, meaning no matter what you do, you can not earn below certain amount of money. These wages are put in place with consideration to cost of living, i.e housing, transport, feeding, taxation etc. Most minimum wages are livable wages, you can survive and live comfortably if you live according to your means.

Most Diasporans who come back home only do so because they do not see themselves doing these minimum wage paying jobs. e.g your cousin with a master degree wouldn't want to work as a security or sales associate at a store. Depending on ones course of study, grades, age, past work experience, not every diasporan will get the career of their choice. As long as you are able and willing to work and spend according to your means, you won't suffer.

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