₦airaland Forum

ferdimako:
I tire...joint account one signatory... na wa women and lies.

gazilion:
I hate lies! I stopped reading your story when I saw the bolded above! It is not a joint account if there is only one signatory!!

Godmystrength:
So even when the man na oninakuna, society has nothing to say about it or the society does not know that their are men like that.. anyway sha, na their family....
As per the rest of your response, that is how a good family should be... Let any of the spouse be responsibly for the areas where he/she specializes and not having some strict protocols that must be followed even if it is to the detriment of the family..

bukatyne:
LOL! @ socially unacceptable

What will I not hear on NL!

Single ladies, use the courtship period very wisely! It is not the time to eat sharwama or drink gulder; it is not the time to mark register in all eateries and joints. It is not the time to show your se.x ua.l prowness either

Study your man! Study your man!! Study your man!!!

90% of all these behaviours are evident before marriage; marriage does not transform people overnight to either good or bad. They only exhibit what has been inside of them.

Look well and well before saying I do; Any comment you do not like or you are not comfortable with made in passing must be treated; watch out how he handles issues of others especially marriage/relationship issues.

You cannot force a man to love you; if he does not, you cannot wash, cook or f.uk your way into his heart. You might force/manipulate him to marry you but after the wedding, he will show you sege!


Also pray and pray to whatever you believe in.

It is very terrible when a lady misses it in marriage. Even if she divorces/separates from the man, she will still feel the pain for a while.

tintingz:
the quote "act like a lady, think like a man" does that mean that women can't think rightly by nature or are they dumb to think like a woman?

Gloria3389:
no sensible guy or a matured one will always find reason(s) to insult pple especially ladies.... I'm sure u lack something upstairs....
abi, for goodness sake what do u want from me....always attacking me for no reason.. be warned

Godmystrength:
On another note, i see where some people are saying that it is possible for the man to demand for such if the wife is a careless spender...... Okay. But can a woman also demand that her husband submit all his salary to him because he is a careless spender (there are also men like that and not only women are guilty of such) who squanders all his money on nonsense and end up borrowing money which the wife also gets to pay back part of the debt and also suffer for his actions?
Or is this just something only a man can demand for..
I am asking this to know if the man's decision is for the betterment of the family or just a way to prove some ish to the woman?

tebirim:
I don't see anything wrong with that. It all boils down to understanding between them both. My mum always brought her salary home when my dad was alive. What my dad does is to give her pocket money then ask her to save the rest. My dad also brought his own home and would divide it according to our needs and want at that moment and save the rest for us all. It helped so much that not long my mum was counting in millions. As a woman and a wife, if you love your spouse, then there isn't anything wrong in it. Not only is the man the head, he will help you manage you finances. That's why i support joint account between spouse. It helps

Godmystrength:
why did you have to quote the whole post? Na wa for you o...

kandikane:


You know the shop he is talking about

2CatWoman:
Nooooo [size=5pt]but that area used to be known for those types of shops mainly aimed at men.

He probably works in such a place and was just annoyed when his now ex came in to buy XXXXXXL size . Issokay[/size]

shakrullah:
Haba let me tell all of u men that are searching for a lady that is beautiful, kind, god fearing, charming and every other thing that d op mentioned it is not possible. u are looking for God. its only God that is perfect. so be contempted with what u have.

Godmystrength:
I wanted to read everything, i tried to read everything, but i had to stop reading at a point. The post is just too long and refusing to finish......and with the different colors.....

And @Ilekokonit, why are you abusing everybody in your language? Is that African Manly?? and how are you any better than the people you are accusing of ''running motor mouth like meter''?? Shey jeje o.... Pelepele dowo e o...

lilmax:
@op don't waste your time with them..... They are yet to recover from being a woman, they don't like men......so they jump at any opportunity they get to bash men

Ilekokonit:
Tips To Keeping A Good African Man - © Ilekokonit - 4 Nov 2014

·     Recognise that not every westernised idea or norm is good for the longevity of an African relationship
·     Respect your man, respect his African values
·     Don’t rubbish African culture for the sake of feminism
·     Know or learn what being an African man is all about
·     Recognise that a woman living alone for a long concerted time reduces a woman’s compatibility with a proper African man
·     Don’t puncture his balloon just to get even or drag him down
·     Don’t be hateful, spiteful or seek revenge
·     Be forgiving, Don’t be mean and Don’t be wicked
·     Recognise that even Beyoncé who sang “independent woman” is still holding tight to her man, likewise the Queen of England and Margaret Thatcher before her death
·     Keep the parts of your body that are meant to be hidden, hidden and not on public display
·     Serve as a good role model to his children especially his daughter(s)
·     Don’t by your way of life / dressing set bad moral examples for his children especially his daughter(s)
·     Don’t stop him from bringing up his children with good old school African values
·     Never antagonize him in front of anyone especially his kids even behind his back
·     Recognize that a boy’s first and everlasting hero is his father and so, never belittle, curse, shout at or castigate him in front of his children especially his sons. Remember that in almost ALL cases, the boy will remind you in later years how you maltreated his dad when he was young and he couldn’t do anything about it
·     Recognise that a woman’s crown is her man
·     Be DRAMA FREE, Don’t be rude, saucy or stroppy
·     Don’t be selfish or self-centered
·     Don’t be addicted to TV, fashion, jewelries or your career !!!
·     Don’t keep up with the jones
·     Believe in for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health because he seriously does whatever the situation
·     Don’t be evil or fetish
·     You Don’t need a pastor or imam to tell you about the future of your relationship
·     Value his opinion above that of your pastor or imam or even your parents
·     Realise that 2 cannot work together unless they agree
·     Don’t compete with him financially or otherwise fully realizing that he is willing to share everything he has with you
·     Don’t have the erroneous belief that "his money is your money and your money is your money"
·     Don’t keep secrets from him
·     Don’t be crafty, evasive, deceitful or manipulative
·     Don’t try to manipulative him with anything (not even religion)
·     Don’t be combative, cantankerous
·     Don’t tear your own home apart with your very own hands like the woman who does just that with her own hands in Proverbs 14:1 and is described by the bible as foolish
·     Realise that a foolish woman keeps talking but a wise woman understands the power of her words as well as her silence
·     Realise that it is a FACT when Proverbs 21:9 says that It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house and as such keeps your home peaceful
·     Don’t be moody, unfriendly or stubborn to him
·     REALISE THAT PART OF WHAT PUTS A MAN OFF HIS WIFE FOR GOOD IS THE FACIAL EXPRESSIONS YOU USE WHEN QUARELLING WITH HIM
·     Realise the difference between slapping your man in a film and slapping your man in real life
·     Keep friends who are family orientated and want to last in their relationships with their other halves
·     Don’t threaten to harm yourself or drink bleach just to get his attention or win an argument
·     Faces issues head on without hiding behind non issues
·     Don’t deny him his conjugal rights
·     Want to grow old with him together, be in the relationship for the long haul
·     Don’t be crafty, evasive, cagey or secretive
·     Don’t have unnecessary male friends
·     allow him access to your phone if you are not hiding anything
·     Don’t be deceived by your being young or by your beautiful face, realise that the real beauty of a woman is in your character
·     Don’t believe that because you are beautiful then you cannot be corrected
·     Don’t lie to him
·     Don’t be a combative feminist
·     Don’t indulge in being married to an inanimate object
·     Don’t smoke and if you do drink, do so rarely, moderately and only on social occasions and Don’t form the habit of drinking alone (Even most men Don’t drink alone except for alcoholics)
·     Don’t do drugs
·     Value the old school family values that our parents held dear
·     Treat him like your mum treated your dad (hopefully, your mum treated your dad well)
·     Realise that no man wants to live with a combative quarrelsome woman
·     Don’t hide behind crocodile tears just to get your way
·     Don’t always have an answer for everything (nobody does)
·     Don’t talk at 1000 miles per hour just because you can
·     Think before you talk
·     Don’t monopolize the conversation.
·     Conversation is a 2 way thing. You talk, keep quiet, let him talk, and you listen, then ponder his response before forming your response
·     Don’t be over-ambitious or money motivated if you want to keep an African man
·     Don’t strive to keep up with the Jones, Don’t copy your friends especially their bad behaviors including haughtiness and pride towards your man
·     Don’t copy the way loud, foul-mouthed Nollywood actresses abuse men. Copying them is a recipe for quick divorce
·     Don’t feel superior to your man and never treat him with disdain or arrogance
·     Don’t be stingy to him if he is generous to you
·     Realise that him loving you is not a sign of weakness
·     Never try to give him orders
·     Make respect your watch word
·     Love a harmonious home
·     NEVER keep grudges, never bottles things up
·     openly discuss issues as they arise
·     NEVER discuss your marital issues with your parents, friends or any 3rd party
·     Be in the relationship for the long haul and Don’t be a serial man changer just because you think your beauty will last forever
·     NEVER EVER feel that there are many fish in the ocean (not all fish are good. Some are poisonous in the short or long run)
·     If you get a good man, do your best to keep him irrespective of what your “friends” say as ENOUGH African men are delaying marriage because of the aggression and wild ways of the potential suitors currently available
·     Realise that the phrase money is not everything did not just fall from the sky. There was a reason it was coined those many years ago
·     Realise that a lot of “proper” African men see educated African women as too combative and so tone down your “gra gra” when you are in his company
·     You may be a manager of teacher at work but drop those badges at the door before you enter the house as no African likes being lectured by his woman. You are his woman and not his lecturer.
·     If you meet a new guy who is honest enough to tell you he is currently unemployed, never assume that he is going to ask you for money as REAL African men never ask a woman for money nor collect such if offered
·     Never get used to living alone for too long lest you become so used to your freedom, space and singleness that sub-consciously you frustrate every new man you meet because your spirit wants to remain free
·     Realise that NOT everything that helps you climb the career ladder is helpful to your marriage. Some of them are destructive to African marriages
·     Never use sex as a weapon
·     Whenever your hubby chooses a late night hubby away from the home or chooses to go alone to the beer parlor repeatedly instead of staying with you at home and only comes back at around 2am or later on a consistent basis then he is trying to say to you that his love for you is dying a slow death and he can no longer bear your company as you are making his life miserable at home and/or you are no longer listening to him
·     Don’t neglect your man supposedly because of religious duties, realise that there is a time for everything and Don’t spend too many hours at church/mosque leaving your man lonely at home
·     Don’t hide behind religion or religious phrases just to control your man, Don’t choose to pontificate and sermonize him instead of discussing real issues with your non-religious hat on
·     Don’t adopt a holier than thou attitude with him
·     Don’t lecture him, Don’t sermonize when he is discussing something with you with his rational mind
·     Don’t form the bad habit of lying to him especially if he is truthful to you
·     NEVER put your career or business above your relationship !!!
·     Don’t feel your joint kids are your property or a meal ticket for you in the future and never use his kids as a weapon or bargaining ticket with him
·     NEVER turn his children against him
·     Be kind to him
·     Don’t practice NLP - neuro linguistic programming (or any other type of mind control techniques that Westernised women use to climb the career ladder) on him as most smart men know when they are being manipulated
·     Never use NLP techniques on him when discussing issues with him in a ploy to put him on the defensive so that you will win the argument
·     Don’t argue with him unnecessarily or argue with him just to tick your log book of arguments you have won with him
·     Don’t try to control him IN ANY WAY
·     Don’t give him orders
·     Don’t argue with him just for arguments sake
·     Don’t wind him up or stress him when there is no need for it
·     If you try to control him or play unnecessary mind games on him or try to control his mind in the first few weeks of meeting him, then chances are that that relationship will not last (that’s even if it starts in the first place)
·     Remember that unnecessarily or repeatedly stressing your man only quickens the end of that relationship
·     Realise that “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man” is just a book that Steve Harvey made loads of money from.
·     A lady should always be a lady in her actions and in thoughts and “Acting Like a Lady and Thinking Like a Man” is not just difficult to maintain, it is deceptive, it portrays the woman as unnecessarily competitive and aggressive and is a sure fire way to a quick divorce or separation
·     Wishing you all the best as you search for that “Good” African man of which there are loads IF YOU KNOW HOW TO KEEP THEM INTERESTED FOR THE LONG HAUL

kibi:
i just spoke with a friend of mine who has been having marital challenges and she says the hubby has given her a condition for their make up - submit your salary to me at the end of every month.
i really dont like being in the middle of marital squables cos i wouldnt want anyone in mine so i told her to pray and talk it out with her husband though it did get me thinking, whats the rationale behind that condition...for men in the house who do this please enlighten me cos i dont support it.

Shirley07:
You can leave story. Majority of the men on NL are bad news already.

dabossman:
You see that is where you are wrong. I didn't even want to marry a woman like my mother, and thankfully my wife is not like her. It's not because I don't love my mom, but there are attributes she has which I don't want replicated in my wife. I don't have the grace my dad has.

Now, one thing many of you fail to realize when you make these generalized statements is that bad news sells fast. [b]How many women go about telling their friends and family members about every good thing their hubby does? How many spend hours on end telling their friends "oh, hubby helped me with the dishes yesterday, he gave the kids a bath and put them to bed while I did the dishes, he helps with the laundry from time to time, he even cooks dinner regularly, etc" Probably not many. You know why? Good news doesn't sell. [/b]Your friends would probably end up irritated if you keep telling them how sweet your husband is every chance you get. They'll probably be like "what is she feeling like? na only she go get husband? mtschewww"

However, the bad news, oh that sells like wildfire. They all want to hear how much of a brute your husband is. They will sympathies with you when you complain about how uncaring and inconsiderate he is. They want to hear about how he leaves you with all the chores, compares you to his mother and generally paints the picture of a "typical Nigerian man". And when you are done lamenting to them, they go on and tell their other friends about your brute of a husband. And everyone has the chance to go like "hhm, men, they are all the same"

Bad news sells dear. The good men hardly get any credit, but the bad ones hug all the headlines. Maybe you should try taking a poll to find out how many women love their husbands and think he is very considerate and helpful before drawing such general conclusions.

pickabeau1:
Is there anything new here
When you lot are filled to the brim with your man bashing örgy you will move onto the next topic which of course will be something the man has done again..

Endless and recycled topics...

OkikiOluwa1:
Supersport doesn't make real men go lazy cos they don't spend too much time infront of TV. Same should be said about Real African women who knows their onus & doesn't stay too long to while surfing the internet, chatting or watching African Magic
Last Bullet
The thing here is I m not against the points you listed in this thread. A woman can assist herself with washing machine, poundo yam, gas cooker etc if they v a large family & can afford them. They are dividends of our modern world. I m sure our forefathers ll v been glad to use them if they were available back then. What you & I should frown against is lazy women with their attitudes & how the affect their household

aisha2:
I am the President jare. Before we married ny mother in law visited, she was shocked i had a maid even before marriage and kids and when she said so i told her yes oh, your son got one for me because he said Saturday is for dates and rest not for cleaning, washing and cooking. Na so she look me,matter end, case closed

MadCow1:
It does..

Many people who advocate weathering the storms of a bad marriage do tend to infer that staying in an abusive marriage or relationship is a sign of a good woman when indeed it's not and has led to the death of many, one of such women being my aunt who died in a bad marriage after years of incessant abuse.

pickabeau1:
Must these tales be recycled all to denigrate men?


As has been correctly noted, washing mc is penetrating gradually.

In less than 5 years, it will be a household staple

Domestic abuse is to be condemned irrespective of gender

But it has go go down to male bashing....OK

NL .....bashing naija men since 1960

pickabeau1:
Must these tales be recycled all to denigrate men?


As has been correctly noted, washing mc is penetrating gradually.

In less than 5 years, it will be a household staple

Domestic abuse is to be condemned irrespective of gender

But it has go go down to male bashing....OK

NL .....bashing naija men since 1960

MadCow1:
Yes o!!



Infact... I am in the middle of one serious matter.

Imagine a Man who has the nerve to beat his 7plus month pregnant wife, bundle her into a Car and drives so bad that he gets involved in an accident with her seated in front with no seatbelts on..


Now.. To blow your mind even further, the woman says; "He beats me because that is a weakness he has'.. And against all advice, she has gone back to be with the same animal..


Many people would call her a Good wife.. I call her an emotionally damaged female.

moca:
@freshdud2, so many of them out there, so many of them.
One refused to carry his son(son he has been killing d wife for.as if to say wifey produces baby sex)when wife wanted to start biz again just for a sat so she can equip her shop after pregnancy and omugwo thing.

That she should get baby carrier ,enter public transport to balogun(he has a car).

Very wicked man.
Even d day i went to see baby, on his arrival,see the very cold welcome he gave me. I quietly knew it was time to take my leave.
Wifey called later to apologize. Said she brought it up and he dismissed it, not until wifey told him i gave baby a very surprising gift did he start mumbling sorry. Pls call her and tell her i didnt see her(lol)

So yes, many(not generalising) r doing that.