₦airaland Forum

@omoladunayemi
Is it because I always go ahead to provide the family needs that got me into the present predicament?

[size=18pt]Yes![/size]

For goodness sake, look at your write-up, you are the driving force financially in your relationship/marriage. Your husband has even been a good supporter on many occasions but he has never once taken the lead when it comes to providing for the family.

You even pay security dues for goodness sake!

I always tell women, allow your husband be the man of the relationship right from the onset! He's been living off of you all this while (and you have been doing a very good job of it if I might add)and suddenly u want to change the status quo? Your case is like a man telling his wife to become the breadwinner, only in this case YOU are the man! The only reason you are feeling stressed now is probably cos things are hard and you can't meet up. Else if your husband still had his job and you had yours I'm sure you wouldnt have seen anything wrong in the marriage till date.



On a lighter note, now you know how a man feels

P.s , I havent read other people's responses here, but I will strongly advise you to ignore anybody who tries to demonise your husband or make you feel like a fo0l. Most people here who give such hurtful advice are young, naive, unmarried or heartbroken. Your case is not bad like that and after three children I believe you have acquired enough wisdom to be able to shut haters down and do what is best for you, your husband, and the kids. You are wiser and stronger than most of the people here, do not let them poison your mind for any reason.


Sort things out with your husband. As you can see, he actually is ready to man up when things get desperate and he sees you can't handle it. You'd be surprised that most times when he didnt help out or you thot he didn't care its because he thought you'd find a way to hustle things out hence his relaxed state.

You have already established a foundation for this relationship, I honestly don't see it changing, least of all overnight. Things are hard all round now and tempers will flare but with some patience and by God's grace we shall pull through.

Peace.

To my surprise, my husband left me alone to do the hustling

Na wa o.
@omoladunayemi
Why did it surprise you? Isn't it the way you two have been doing since the beginning of the relationship, you being the leader and him following meekly behind?


Anyway, lemme continue reading.

Hmmm, this is serious!

maureensylvia:
I can't lie against my parents,all the same they are precious to me, I try my best in my marriage, I even asked my mum what is it that I learnt from them, she kept quiet for sometimes out of guilt and said morning prayers...is that all mum?

Was touched by your story. A lot of us out there, but we give God the glory and hope/pray for better marriages in our time.

Nikita1:
Yea, that's the spirit. I'm not gonna fight husby, in fact I promise him the happiest home in this world.

But when the need arises for me to fight, i'm not going to nag, shout or scream.
Women have TWO powerful things to win anything. Only the wise I know it and I'm gonna use that to fight him

Apparently I'm not wise what r d two things na, or is it

echobee:
True talk. Thanks ops

You're welcome dear

UndisputedBosom:
In summary ladies use ur "Power Of A Woman" to checkmate ur partner


As simple as that....

Very simple my brother.
Why be a woman and want to use the "power of a man"?

mrwonlasewonie:
Here we go again 5minsmadness .

You no dey taya

Go and wash my fridge and the zinc joor And please don't spill water on the floor. You hear me 5minsmadness.lastly make sure it's clean

The morning fresh and sponge is on the zinc.don't waste my morning fresh o.I bought it 400naira

I love the glitterati on your nails

Pandorabox:
Very inspiring.

Thanks .

Indeed it is the age of equality. We hear it everyday on this family section how a woman should stand up to her husband and refuse to be oppressed (even if there was no oppression intended in the first place). Such talks make it look like marriage is a battlefield and there is no peace between the sexes. Some people even begin to wonder why they should get married at all when marriage apparently looks so miserable.


Well, I am here to say that marriage is only miserable to you as a woman if you want it to be! Men are natural born fighters , you can't start fighting your man as well in his own house. No man worth his salt will take it. Men were built to dominate. If you start wanting to dominate him in his own house that he paid rent for or built, insisting that he washes the plates or washes the clothes or sweeps the house or take care of the kids while u sleep all in the name of equality, you will make him set up a wall against you. He may outrightly defy you or he may sulk and do what you have ordered but be sure he is bitter about it and wondering when you became the man of the house. Soon enough if he cannot be a man indoors, he will start to look for how he can be one outside.

Having said that, a woman is a human being as well and not a workhorse or slave. She needs help as well and men have an excessive amount of muscle to spare to help around the house , especially if you cannot afford a maid. So how do you as a woman seek help from your husband without sounding like a nagging frustrated loveless feminist?

Simple. Use the gift that God gave you. Use the things that attracted your man to marry you in the first place. Use your womanliness, your feminine charms and grace! Use sweet words garnished with love and not commanding and off-putting tone that bristles with scorn. Esther was able to play with the crown of the most dangerous man in Babylon, not because she felt entitled, neither because she felt the man was equal to her. No! Her feminine charms made him as meek as a lamb in her hands.


Use your charm to handle your man and not your sharp tongue. Use your sweetness, quick wit,love and unsolicited kisses to get what you want from your king instead of declaring your rights like a country looking for every opportunity to secede. I assure you, you will get a lot more done by being a lady instead of a nag.

Peace.

jadelyn007:
What people would do for love.
You have to weigh the pros and cons of your own health first.
Also CS leaves really ugly looking scars.
[s]So would you chose a scarred body over a slightly lose vagina?[/s] I'll chose the later anytime, any day.

No it doesn't.
We do pfannesteil incisions as a routine in Nigeria, talkless of the U.S. You can actually wear a bikini to the beach when we are done and no one would notice a thing.

onila:
after some few minutes
they had a big fight and broke all the furntires in the sitting room

First pic

thorpido:
Same same.You don't expect the body to remain the same over the years though but post pregnancy made no significant difference.

Hmmm, ok.

Modified.

thorpido:
She or her husband get to decide if it's worth it,that's true.
'We' also from experience can advise if some things are worth it or not,afteral she asked the men in the house what our experiences are.

Oga thorpido, what was your own experience?

crackhaus:
Bros you no lie at all.

I don't understand the group-organized attack on the OP and what her husband is asking of her when she herself is considering it.
They all keep saying the man will still cheat.

Lmao..

I guess it proves there's a significant proportion of married ladies here who may have had to deal with cheating husbands. Lol...
Beats my imagination mehn.

Bro, you no lie at all at all..

As in, I had to chec the title of the topic again
How does the op's post and question translate to the husband cheating? Someone even called the husband 'the real demon' A soon to be father o! See insults over simple question!

stylesco:
Stop being a bitter person.
I'm not the reason for your misery.

Aunty, there are a lot of bitter people on this section. Most of them are broken-hearted little girls and single mothers who have been dealt with by men, and the corresponding small boys who are desperate to get between their legs .
Most of them will find the slightest oppurtunity to attack men so as to score cheap points.The current situation of the country is not helping as most are frustrated with what is on ground.

Forgiv them pls and look through the mature advice a select few have given. Ignore the rest.
Cheers!

Pls an actual mother should answer this question. I've been wondering why as well.

Pls is there any guy that read those posts and understood it Was she even speaking English

Some people are just stüpid!

So a father can't cradle his son again?

Idiots!

This topic just brought up an old memory.

Jacqueline was her name. She was in pry 3 and was half-cast. Her parents obviously taught her the "birds and the bees" topic quite early. She would wait by the boys room during break and pull down little boys pants that came to wee to inspect thier pen1ses

Nice girl, jacqueline.


She got caught in pry 6 having romping sex with a teacher in the football field one stormy afternoon. Her parents removed her from the school after that. Dunno why

Memories

Mindfulness:
My niece is two years old. Recently she saw a friend of mine changing the diapers of her baby boy. It was the first time she saw a pe.nis and her eyes almost fell out. They will discover the opposite se.x anyway. It's natural and there is nothing wrong with it. You adults se.xualize it. My niece doesn't. She was surprised and then forgot about it.

That's what you think. Boy, are you in for a surprise in a few years.

Mindfulness:
And the Nigerian way to go about sexuality has stopped millions of girls from having abortions.

Just as the western way of going about sexuality has stopped millions of abortions in the West so much so that they have abortion clinics.

Mindfulness:
One can easily see that you know very little to nothing about children.

One the contrary. One can see YOU live perpetually in a fairytale and are unwilling to accept the harsh realities of life.

prettynerd:
tnks everyone for taking ur time to reply, actually heard her side of the story, she said it was consensual, her current boyfrnd had to force her to confess to me after she confessed all her sexcapades to him which is the condition for him to marry her, she didn't even want me to know at all, she even called my fiance ( if i can still call him dat) and was quarelling with him for telling me, she said there was no emotions involved, she was just having weird fun and seduced him cos she thought we won't last too, i've never done anything to hurt her before o, only that i get angry with her a lot for living a careless life, the worst part is that she did same thing to two of my aunts husband. I feel she needs help mentally, but she still behave very normal only for this unveiled secret, STILL SHOCKED!

She's a nymphomaniac, or better yet the family slut. She's slept with two of her own aunties husbands and decided to put your fiancee on her list. I have a feeling you're not going to be the last victim in that family.

It's a tough decision. I'd say if you have a forgiving spirit you should forgive your man, especially if he has been faithful and hasnt shown any other bad habit or sign of misbehavior. We all have secrets we are not proud of and hopefully his own has come out. It will be really sickening if you lose your chance at happiness and marrying someone who has grown to really love u and has even built a successful business with u, all because of a philandering sister who can't keep it in her pants.





Out of curiosity , do your aunties know their niece slept with thier husbands and if yes what was thier reaction? Have they told your mom?

Askseek:
Kids are naturally curious and withholding information makes them even more curious. Better to teach them, tailor the information to their age than to pretend that kids magically appear in mummy's tummy

That's Western bullsh1t thinking(no offence meant) . The father should ejacu.late in front of the child to show how the sperm comes out and fertilizes mummy so she won't be curious anymore.

Mummy, see what teacher taught us at school today!

So daddy has a pens and you have a vagina like me mummy? Can I see?
(parents promptly pull their pants and show kids thier genitals so they won't be curious anymore)

Wow! Daddy's pens is so big! But why isn't it straight like in the picture? Aren't u feeling loving daddy?

(Goes to meet little brother when parents are not around... )

I want a baby too, I want a baby brother... Here James... Put your pens in here... Why isn't it straight like in the picture? Aren't u feeling especially loving?

(Child remains curious and uses every opportunity to pull boys' knickers down until one day she sees an erection from tex...)

Pulls Tex's pens.... Yes, that's how the book says it should be! Raises her skirt and pulls pant.... Put it in here Tex, I wanna have a baby like mama...

Child continues like this until one day she succeeds in having sex @age 9 with Paul age 11.

Ooohhhh, that's so sweet... So making babies is this sweet?...ooohhhhh

Child's father catches her under Paul and gets his gun and kills him. Mother wails and wonders what went wrong that her child has become a pervert...

he never suspected that he could have amorous relationship with his his wife and mother of seven children.

"I have known Elder Ndarake for many years and he was even the one that recommended my wife to me when I wanted to get married. He stood in for me during the traditional marriage as I lost my father at an early age.

Mama still got game after 7kids


It's obvious the woman was elder's side chick before the marriage. He just wanted her to marry his friend.

This isn't karma

prettynerd:
tnks everyone for taking ur time to reply, actually heard her side of the story, she said it was consensual, her current boyfrnd had to force her to confess to me after she confessed all her sexcapades to him which is the condition for him to marry her, she didn't even want me to know at all, she even called my fiance ( if i can still call him dat) and was quarelling with him for telling me, she said there was no emotions involved, she was just having weird fun and seduced him cos she thought we won't last too, i've never done anything to hurt her before o, only that i get angry with her a lot for living a careless life, the worst part is that she did same thing to two of my aunts husband. I feel she needs help mentally, but she still behave very normal only for this unveiled secret, STILL SHOCKED!

Hmmm
Cc onegai.
Your thots?

See curves

.hope is not photoshop