₦airaland Forum

elektra:
Huh?

At OP, you are not a bad person at all. In fact, you are the best kind of parent. The kind that thinks and plans for the future before having a kid. If you feel you won't have the resources to raise another kid, then it is perfectly fine to have just one kid.
My dad wanted just two kids too.

Go and read the Op again, that's not the reason why she doesn't want more kids

mysticgal:
Guy all na rest. she fit talk say na food things she wan buy but e fit be say na clothes she get for mind. Besides today na house stocking day, anybody wey follow her na die, so I just lie down for bed pretend like say I sick make another man step in for me abeg, car go full today... No strength biko

Lazy gyal

photoshoot:
10. When your mum said you’d be done in an hour and you look at the time:

https://zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/eternity.jpg

The lies.

Looool!!! So other people experienced this? God bless our mother sha. They definitely had thier ways but they were darn good mothers none the less!

photoshoot:
5. You, after she successfully prices from N2000 down to N200.


https://zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/clapping-rock.gif

Even though it took forever.

I burst out laughing for this one , so true!

@gemini35 see my modified post above. Thanks.

gemini35:
i,was dating a girl of 24,and she is always talking about marriage,i decided to let my people know,they asked were she hail from i explained ,,and every body rejected her,reason my uncle married from that side,which i knew,she divided the family,,and sowed a seed of discord,as i,m talking my grand mother died the woman could not allow my uncle to attend the burial from usa,so the hatred was much,,i,told the girl that my people will not support our marriage,she asked me if she is going to live with my people,some times i beat her because she is sturbon and domineering [/b] even asked her to live my house she said i,m the one to live the house for her,she eventually got pregnant,,and born baby girl,my uncle personally put a call to the parents,that i will not marry from their side,,then she was with her parent,,after six months with her parents,they still sent her to my house as if marriage is by force ,,,this girl came back to my house,i,could not send her away because of the baby,i,left her gradually she lured me to start making love to her and now she is pregnant and refuse to abort it,the parents are now inviting me so we can discuss,i,m traped in the middle,how do i handle this matter i need an advice from matured men,in the house,one the people that are suppose follow me to go and pay are against the marriage,and the the first baby is still in the curstody of her parents,and the way i see the girl she like,s to be in charge,should i ignore my people and go ahead and marry her she might also bring discord in our family[b],i,need not only advice but spiritual guide line[/b],on the step to follow,i,m just like a prodigal son to my peoples ,every body is puting blame on me and i acept my mistake.and flaws.

First thing you should know is that you are not looking for someone to discourage you from marrying the girl. You have had enough advice from your parents and relatives but instead of using that as a solid excuse to keep her out you let her be forced on you in your house this leading to another impregnation. Even the people that want to escort u to pay bride price are against the marriage but somehow u have convinced them to follow u. Op I put it to you that you like this girl, the only issue is that she is coming with too much wahala.

We all have crosses in our lives we have to bear. Crosses are not necessarily a bad thing, they mould character and make you a stronger, better, more patient person if u carry them well. This woman is your cross. You have two children from her (she won't abort this pregnancy either) and she has stayed with you for a while. What you are looking for is how to weather the storm of the marriage u are about to enter.

First of all, realise this lady is desperate to marry you else she would have run since from the beatings and ill treatment. She is more determined to marry you than you her, hence you have an advantage.

So start laying your boundaries without fear. Let her know the things you can and cannot tolerate. The things u like and the things you don't like. If she crosses those lines then deal with her severely. I have never advised anyone to beat a woman, far from it, but unfortunately you two have a rapport of fighting already and if with all the pummelling u have given her she still struggles to have her way then just talking won't do the trick here. I suggest u use more mature though still physical ways to punish her since this is the language both of u are used to, and let her learn u are the master of the house. I recommend holding her down and spanking her hard on her buttocks with the palm of your hands. It works for children, it will work for her. Do not strike her anywhere else and do not use ur fists. Spank her until she is tired and subdued then tell her the reason for your actions and that she shouldn't repeat out again. You will do this for a while until her stubbornness calms down a bit, then gradually you will move to sorting your issues out without physically fighting. This may sound bizzaire to some people but Op your case is not the normal type and needs some strong-arming.


Secondly, as soon as you guys are married try and move away from both families. They both have some venom between each other already and I assure u it will spill into your marriage if both of u continue to associate closely with them. Your elder has had a bad experience from that family in the past and will see everything the woman does through tainted glasses and bias. He will be the first to shout "didn't I tell you not to marry her " etc. Her own family that is forcing her on you are not any better. Find a way to move far from them and be the master of your own household.

Finally I strongly believe u like this woman and with time you will grow to love her and the kids, but you both have to find your own rhythm, your own way of doing things. Marriage has a way of calming women down, her attitude will definitely improve especially when she realises that you are ready to take charge like the man you are. You on the other hand should learn to not only like but love your wife. See her as your wayward daughter sort of. Anything u plan on doing in the future, do it with her benefit in mind even though she may not agree with some. I assure u she will see these acts of love and will not want to let u go. Stop being a coward and take responsibility for the kids. They are the fruit of your loins. Do your job and protect them and make sure they get the best out of life. I would advice u against having more kids until u can financially cater for the ones on ground now. There is something called condom. I insist u use it for your own good.

Finally finally, get to know Christ. Find a church that both of you will attend. I strongly suggest an orthodox church (Catholic, Anglican) as they seem more responsible than the new age churches we have today. I will also suggest Redeemed and Winners as they are matured as well. Others may disagree with this last point. They have a right to do so.

Even before u find a church, develop the habit of praying with your wife and kids. Pray aloud positive blessings for her to her hearing and let her do the same for u. Inculcate this habit into your daily lives. You will see that it will bring a deeper level of understanding between you two and keep you closer together.

That is my advice.
All the best.

she finally told me that she is going to date the guy that we can become friends in which I feel so sad and it was very painful . All my life I never date anyone or even cheat on her for the past 3 or 4 years I have dated her , I feel so sad thinking she played me all this while .

I move on with my life got admission to the university by that time I feel so bad I couldn't date anyone I finally turn to prostitute, go to club pick a girl sleep with the person you know how it goes. I couldn't love anyone

And this is the root cause of bad boys hardened hearts. Ladies take note!

She sleeps off even while we make love

OUCH!

TooNoisy:
Nairaland and hypocrisy. Some ladies even suggesting the husband is insecure or does not trust his wife

My question to such ladies is this. What will be your reaction if your husband said he just bought his hot sexy colleague a phone of 100k. I am sure you will claim it's okay, it's just a gift, he can even buy her a hermes bag too.

If the man gave her money to help pay for her children's school fees because her husband didn't have the money, I could even understand a bit. But for a phone? U go asking another man to buy you common phone. That is simply greed and lack of class. She can as well ask the man to pay for an expensive vacation abroad if her husband cannot afford it or buy her a better car. After all it is just a gift.

The day the man now asks for something in return then she starts complaining that men are bad. That is, if the man is not already getting something in return.

I just tire for them. They will never tell the truth. Wether they get paid for putting up counter-arguments no matter how silly is what I don't know.

Government of Change Blame. Nothing can ever be thier fault. Sign of immaturity and irresponsibility.

Yayyy, happy for you and him! They say third time is the charm, hope this time it's the real thing.

hope4nigeria:
I never want to coment but when I saw ur post I'm forced to do so! I just want to clerify on the statement fabrication! I tot my wife posted this because I had exactly thesame experience! Small aguement, her brother and sister will bring vehicle to my house and pack her things! I always go begging them when I feel somtimes I'm at fault but my wife has pride! The last time was a small aguement, she forced me to slap her for the 1st time the act I later regreted as a man! B4 I knew it, police detained me alongside deadly criminals! I received beating in police cell, my brain deactivated! This is not funny my brother, I had act collapse b4 police got scared and took me to hospital subsequetly released me! My wife still the one to ahead to court sumon me fo a divource! OMG! I was so glad to receive the divorce letter. I went to court and affirm my rediness to accept the divorce move. To my suprice, my wife went back withdrew the case came back begging claiming she was misled by her ppl! Now we are back together and she never show pride on me.

Don't mind those people saying its a fake story. Real life occurrences like this are rampant, with the wives listening to bad advice anyhow and only realising their mistakes when it's too late. The fiends that advice them never tell the wife what they themselves are going thru.

SamMilla1:
cc coc0candy

Even those who encouraged me to divorce are always bad mouthing me.

Bad-mouthing u while they remain "happily" married.
Women are their own worst enemies.

Flexherbal:
Let your coments start puring in.
But, know that we are trying to save homes, here.
So be positive!

You must be new here.
Just wait, your welcoming committee is coming...

HungerBAD:
1-cut lizard head bury for ground with coins,by morning money go full.

2-If you pee for outside,spit on top so that if them pack am for juju it no go work.

3-If you touch girl for hand she go get Belle.

4-If you cover Duck head overnight,it go turn to snake.

5-If you go river for night,mammy water go come dash you money.

6-If you bend your head down,look under your leg for market,you go see spirit dey waka for air.

7-Gbomogbomo dey come school.

8- If you drink coconut water,you no go get sense.

9-Our Papa dey always carry 1st for School.

Na strong kpako pikin u be

No. 8 is true na! Abi?

If scorpion bites you, you will turn into a girl
Carried that myth for decades

dahmie2013:
What is dis 4 heaven's sake!

As in, I kind of understood what he said even though I suspect strongly that he wasn't speaking English.

Berlyn:

Awww, c'mon don't take it like that. They're cute!

Berlyn:
its attractive rii it is'nt fake dear

They are as big as flying saucers!

Berlyn:
. 5minsmadness wetin we no go see for NL

Holy sh8, are those your real eyeballs?!?!

Ok so it's been 10months. Can anyone pls confirm if Op is still in the land of the living?

Gbemmy135:
Its not story, this things happens often to some families that lack the fear of God. I know like two families that does this in my area. So its not African Magic or story, i always believe its a movie until i witness it myself. I went to visit my friend in their house and in my presence she sent a man to go and get me some drinks for me, when the man left i asked who he was and i was surprised when she said her Dad. [/b]I couldn't take the drink because i don't want any curse on my head.

The second family, one of their daughter want to get married so i went to the house to get aso-ebi very early in the morning. So i sat down to check the clothes, in my presence the mother shouted at their father and said in yoruba haven't you gone to grind the beans i want to use for moi-moi, [b]the man panic and started running to grind the beans. I couldn't believe my eyes. Its not always natural, some women uses some spiritual forces to do this and Almighty God will make their sons suffer this too in the hand of a strange woman. You will surely reap what you sow.

Lightening:
Telling her the reason might not be a good idea. She may just get back home and team with the mother and snuff life out of the poor father for driving a suitor away. I have observed that such unforgiving women blames everybody but themselves for their woes.

My point exactly.
Op should just quietly vanish. Sooner or later when other men run like that she'll figure things out by herself.



But wait o. If the poor man dies and she gets another suitor, that one won't get the chance this Op got to see what they r really like. He will now marry her and think he has a helpmate... Choi

iwadobo:
Best comment so far. He should call her and tell her why he is quiting . He should advise her to change her ways so that this kind of break up won't happen to her in the future. That advice will go a long way to restructuring the family . After such discussion, the guy should try as much as possible not to have any contact with the girl, because he could be charmed and that will be disastrous.

Cc histemple

You people are just laying the grounds for that man's murder. As soon as they find out he was the stumbling block and the reason she lost her man, he's a goner.

kcowen:
I don't think you need any other advise,this is the first time I have seen nairalanders speak in one mind & voice & if they do please you better take the advise and run kabakaba

Make me sef mark register.

Op Runn ohhhh! The prognosis is very poor! Unless u want to use your life as experiment, but I assure u, it's not worth it!

Qaisar1:
Sometimes I feel that some of these persons are paid to do stuffs like this...

...to make the show more lively. You might be right.

He said: “Let him bring the video tape so that the whole world will see it. I think that if that is true, that he had the video evidence, our legislators did not behave well.”

They did not behave well is an understatement! They should resign! They have brought disgrace to themselves, thier families and the nation. They should be ashamed of themselves and do the honourable thing by vacating their posts.

But we all know nigerian honourables are not honourable.

There is this recently popular adage that says "many are mad but few are roaming. You can see a clear case in this scenario. A lot of mad people exhibit their symptoms here:

1. The sociopath: the kidnapper.
2. The sexual perverts(voyeurism): the guys who keep pulling down her pants to view her unclothedness. Her being severely ugly and bloodydoes not deter them.
3. The psychopath: the woman screaming for them to kill her.

Definitely not me. I'm a master in the kitchen

Chumzylove:
A wife's food is the key to her husband's heart, she's not supposed to starve hm for 3days, no now, she's even creating more problems for her marriage trust guys once he finds one joint that the food taste so good, that's the beginning of her downfall. If she had prepared meal for him my dear the man will say sorry and possibly remove the dp, you don't handle men like that oh.

Another wife material!

shaiba:
Have they been married for twenty years? Is she a psycho?... just wondering.

If the answer to the first question is yes, then it was his choice to marry her the way she is, she should be happy to be the one who helped him overcome his difficulties in life and still alive to remain married to her twenty years and still counting.

Tell your sis to cook a very delicious meal and celebrate her husband.

It takes a psycho to know a psycho, married to one and overcome life difficulties for twenty years.

E no easy!!!!!

Now this is wife material! #standingovation