₦airaland Forum

umehmj:
you said the little brat is wayward. who knows weda she been disturbing your man to have a taste again and he refused, leading to her blackmail.

Op listen to this.

I vote

Mimzy
Mysticgal
Refiner
Ivyy
Daisyluv

Cc NLJega

Lezzlie:
Rarely does Nature bequeaths humanity with the gift of beauty, intelligence, decorum, humility, grace and manners.

I am privileged to be part of this golden moment, like an eclipse, we have witnessed Mimzy in our midst as she takes us through the winding and smooth plains of her enthralling life.

A life full of kindness, compassion and brilliance, and good judgement and tolerance.

After the scathing attacks, doctored reports and avalanche of abuses from the vying camps conveyed by alternate monikers, she maintained her cool and compusure; The hallmark of a true queen who is intelligent, strikingly beautiful and composed to be the face of Nairaland.

My august friends, please join me in appreciating a lady who has weathered the storms of life and has braved out the falsely edited story in NL to shine forth in radiance and hope.

Cc
5minsmadnesse
HumbledbYgrace
Greycious

Mimzy all the way!

When u lack sexual satisfaction in matrimony

As a man this can be very frustrating. The woman you knew that was very sexually active premaritally suddenly develops cold feet after marriage. She relaxes and loses her sexiness. She talks of being tired all the time and you as the man is turned into a houseboy doing all you can around the house to please madam and make sure she is well rested so you can get down to business in the bedroom later in the day. Most women still don't find this effort by the man enough and use the opportunity to take advantage of their husbands and use sex in blackmailing them (if u can't do so and so then we can't have sex). This is a man that is used to having sex three times a week and suddenly finds himself settling for it once or twice a month.

Men are sexual beings. Sex is a major part of our repertoire. If it wasn't so you wouldn't see so many cases of infidelity on the part of the man. Sex is important, very important to us. Sex is food. And if the wife denies him this meal he gets angry, irritable, commandeering and cold. A religious man will try and keep himself in check by practicing holiness, but you will always notice the bitter undertones in all the things he does. The grumpiness, the sadness, distancing himself away from the wife and choosing to watch TV instead, etc. A carnal man(for want of a better word) will simply take his business elsewhere. He will find sex either in porn.ogra.phy and mast.urb.ation (and the wife catches him one day and starts wondering where he learnt the bad habit from). Or he learns how to frequent prostitutes. Or he has an affair and if he doesn't get caught he goes on to have many other affairs all in a bid to satiate the sexual hunger within him. Even those that get caught if the situation in the house isn't rectified they harden thier hearts and become more daring in thier escapades.

I know women will come here and start screaming self control and how they know "millions" of men who practice such. Let's be honest, that's a lie, you don't know up to 10 men you can bet your life on that are faithful to thier wives, not even pastors. Sexual hunger is hard for us men. We need all the help we can get in controlling it.


So if you are a married woman reading this, don't starve your husband of sex. Satiating your husband is wonderful when done in love but if you can't do it in love at least see it as a duty. It will keep him sane, less prone to outside temptation fron your female gender whom he meets everyday and who by the way smell of roses, less irritable and more compliant to your wishes.

End of part 1.

My own question is, how do guys get ladies to give them money I've never been able to do that

PresVA:
Really can't say anything till I hear from your wife because I won't be surprised if you give your family/outsiders like 100k monthly then proposing 20k to her...

And is there something wrong with this?

Project400:
Apply for a leave at work; go home and act like you've been sacked/dismissed.


Your experiences during this period would reveal the unknown.


Cheers.

Some unknowns are best left unrevealed

Dyt:

Ehn ehn
Op e haf read what he wants to read
Now its time to go home and act aggressive
No money woman
You earn so so so
That's OK for you and I am not giving you nothing again
The op looking for a push
Now he has gotten
Muchechechecheche
I laughing here

Even when the posters mean well
Its left for you to use your desecration in handling your home
In as much as I agree with other posters
I still go with onegai
Do it with love

Discretion. Not desecration.
Runs away**

Onegai:
That joint account will solve your issues without you having to talk. Pay what you normally contribute to care for the home in it and tell her to add something to it (let her decide). Only remove your personal savings. If she's a careful woman, in 2 months' time she will see precisely how much of your earnings is going towards you guys and will feel so bad for you her natural Nigerian "ijebu"-ness will kick in and she will start urging you to save more and become more prudent with money. She will also appreciate the allowance you give her more.

I was going to attack your initial post but in seeing this explanation I had a rethink. So is this ^^^^ what ladies mean when they say they want to have a joint account with you? That would be interesting. I thot it was more like both of you pay your whole salaries into the account.

banjolek:
Hello guys,

I need your honest opinion on this, how much is really ideal to give one's wife as monthly pocket money?.

Here's my story, i recently got married and also moved to a new 3 edroom apartment around gbagada. I earn a pretty decent income while my wife also works in the bank with a salary of like 150k. She saves a half of this salary and uses the remaining for upkeep.

Now the issue is my wife insists that i must give her monthly pocket money and i have proposed 20k, an amount i feel is more than adequate for her if added to about 75k which she already has to herself from her salary. Also note that this 20k does not mean i dont get to buy her random stuff during the month or provide anything she asks for if i feel its a reasonable demand.

A1so bear in mind that i am still 100% responsible for providing food and other bills in the house. In addition we just moved to a new apartment like i mentioned earlier and still in the process of furnishing it so a chunk of my monthly salary goes into furnishing the house.

We also have a plan to set up a business for her, so i'm also currently saving part of my salary to fulfill that dream.

Now my wife has rejected the proposed amount of 20k saying its too small.

I need your take on this people, considering all i have mentioned above, is 20k really too small to be giving her monthly?

i wrote this in a hurry, please bear with any typo observed.

Why are you bringing this to nairaland? No offence but I think this is something you ought to handle by yourself.

Having said that:
You seem like a nice guy. Your wife is already earning cash and u still want to give her pocket money. Kudos to you bro. I wouldn't do it. But it's entirely up to you.

DedeNkem:
My advice for the ladies;

Any man who gives his friends details on how he slept with you, doesn't care about you at all!

Trust me. If a man really likes you and wants to establish a long-term relationship with you, he won't tell his friends or anyone about the private stuff you two do in the bed.

Well said.

theEYe21:
Sex

Lol, no bro.
Perseverance.

GlorifiedTunde:
God is key bro!

…

For the mature minds

Word.

By Richard Paul Evans
(Dedicated to my sweetheart.)

My oldest daughter, Jenna, recently said to me, “My greatest fear as a child was that you and mom would get divorced. Then, when I was 12, I decided that you fought so much that maybe it would be better if you did.” Then she added with a smile. “I’m glad you guys figured things out.”


For years, my wife, Keri, and I struggled. Looking back, I’m not exactly sure what initially drew us together, but our personalities didn’t quite match up. And the longer we were married the more extreme the differences seemed. Encountering “fame and fortune” didn’t make our marriage any easier. In fact, it exacerbated our problems. The tension between us got so bad that going out on book tour became a relief, though it seems we always paid for it on re-entry. Our fighting became so constant that it was difficult to even imagine a peaceful relationship. We became perpetually defensive, building emotional fortresses around our hearts. We were on the edge of divorce and more than once we discussed it.


I was on book tour when things came to a head. We had just had another big fight on the phone and Keri had hung up on me. I was alone and lonely, frustrated and angry. I had reached my limit.


That’s when I turned to God. Or turned on God. I don’t know if you could call it prayer—maybe shouting at God isn’t prayer, maybe it is—but whatever I was engaged in I’ll never forget it. I was standing in the shower of the Buckhead, Atlanta, Ritz-Carlton yelling at God that marriage was wrong and I couldn’t do it anymore.



As much as I hated the idea of divorce, the pain of being together was just too much. I was also confused. I couldn’t figure out why marriage with Keri was so hard. Deep down I knew that Keri was a good person. And I was a good person. So why couldn’t we get along? Why had I married someone so different than me? Why wouldn’t she change?



Finally, hoarse and broken, I sat down in the shower and began to cry. In the depths of my despair powerful inspiration came to me. You can’t change her, Rick. You can only change yourself. At that moment I began to pray. If I can’t change her, God, then change me. I prayed late into the night. I prayed the next day on the flight home.


I prayed as I walked in the door to a cold wife who barely even acknowledged me. That night, as we lay in our bed, inches from each other yet miles apart, the inspiration came. I knew what I had to do.


The next morning I rolled over in bed next to Keri and asked, “How can I make your day better?”
Keri looked at me angrily. “What?”
“How can I make your day better?”
“You can’t,” she said. “Why are you asking that?”
“Because I mean it,” I said. “I just want to know what I can do to make your day better.”
She looked at me cynically.
“You want to do something? Go clean the kitchen.”
She likely expected me to get mad. Instead I just nodded. “Okay.”
I got up and cleaned the kitchen.
The next day I asked the same thing. “What can I do to make your day better?”
Her eyes narrowed. “Clean the garage.”
I took a deep breath. I already had a busy day and I knew she had made the request in spite. I was tempted to blow up at her.
Instead I said, “Okay.” I got up and for the next two hours cleaned the garage. Keri wasn’t sure what to think. The next morning came.
“What can I do to make your day better?”
“Nothing!” she said. “You can’t do anything. Please stop saying that.” “I’m sorry,” I said. “But I can’t.”
I made a commitment to myself. “What can I do to make your day better?” “Why are you doing this?” “Because I care about you,” I said.
“And our marriage.” The next morning I asked again. And the next. And the next. Then, during the second week, a miracle occurred. As I asked the question Keri’s eyes welled up with tears. Then she broke down crying. When she could speak she said, “Please stop asking me that. You’re not the problem. I am. I’m hard to live with. I don’t know why you stay with me.”
I gently lifted her chin until she was looking in my eyes. “It’s because I love you,” I said. “What can I do to make your day better?” “I should be asking you that.” “You should,” I said. “But not now. Right now, I need to be the change. You need to know how much you mean to me.” She put her head against my chest. “I’m sorry I’ve been so mean.” “I love you,” I said. “I love you,” she replied. “What can I do to make your day better?” She looked at me sweetly. “Can we maybe just spend some time together?” I smiled. “I’d like that.” I continued asking for more than a month. And things did change. The fighting stopped. Then Keri began asking, “What do you need from me? How can I be a better wife?”


The walls between us fell. We began having meaningful discussions on what we wanted from life and how we could make each other happier. No, we didn’t solve all our problems. I can’t even say that we never fought again. But the nature of our fights changed. Not only were they becoming more and more rare, they lacked the energy they’d once had. We’d deprived them of oxygen. We just didn’t have it in us to hurt each other anymore.


Keri and I have now been married for more than 30 years. I not only love my wife, I like her. I like being with her. I crave her. I need her. Many of our differences have become strengths and the others don’t really matter. We’ve learned how to take care of each other, and, more importantly, we’ve gained the desire to do so.



Marriage is hard. But so is parenthood and keeping fit and writing books and everything else important and worthwhile in my life. To have a partner in life is a remarkable gift. I’ve also learned that the institution of marriage can help heal us of our most unlovable parts. And we all have unlovable parts.



Through time I’ve learned that our experience was an illustration of a much larger lesson about marriage. The question everyone in a committed relationship should ask their significant other is, “What can I do to make your life better?” That is love. Romance novels (and I’ve written a few) are all about desire and happily-ever-after, but happily-ever-after doesn’t come from desire—at least not the kind portrayed in most pulp romances. Real love is not to desire a person, but to truly desire their happiness—sometimes, even, at the expense of our own happiness. Real love is not to make another person a carbon copy of one’s self. It is to expand our own capabilities of tolerance and caring, to actively seek another’s well being. All else is simply a charade of self-interest.



I’m not saying that what happened to Keri and me will work for everyone. I’m not even claiming that all marriages should be saved. But for me, I am incredibly grateful for the inspiration that came to me that day so long ago. I’m grateful that my family is still intact and that I still have my wife, my best friend, in bed next to me when I wake in the morning. And I’m grateful that even now, decades later, every now and then, one of us will still roll over and say, “What can I do to make your day better."

Some responses here though

@iamNotAlone what do you mean by "aggressive"?

eiBADAn:
Honestly, there is no lie in all I said. I'm not trying to brag, but my dad is a billionaire and she knows this. I'm currently planning to leave the country to further my studies for the benefits of the family company. I had to apply for a visa for her which was refused. A blessing in disguise I must say. Now she wants me to try again. I have dropped her sisters CV with my dad tho he doesn't know them. She wants me to buy her brother a phone. Also my expensive wristwatch she wants me to dash her brother. Some times when we argue, she would be like, don't forget we are not married o. That got me thinking a lot. I talk to her mom so I don't know how to dump her without much hassles. I have a very soft heart which she's capitalizing on. I love and I'm sad as I'm typing this. I don't know what to do.

I sincerely hope someone else has advised u in the course of this thread cos I can't read the while thing. All the same let me add my own.

Guy. RUN.

RUN NOW.

You marry her and YOU WILL REGRET IT THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. You are not marrying her mother. Even if you are married for 20yrs the day you don't provide she AND HER FAMILY will drop you like hot charcoal. No matter how friendly it seems they are now.

Harden your heart. It's a mean world especially more so to nice guys. Harden YOYR heart and leave that parasite. Look for someone that loves you for who you are so when you join others in facebook in saying what a lovely wife you've got you know you are telling the truth.

thesicilian:
Isn't it a bit fallacious to assume that people who don't use perfume and deodorants smell? Odour is a product of bacterial action on sweat, not everyone sweats that much, you know. I come across a lot of people daily who use neither perf nor deodorants, and the only reason I know is because they tell me.

Bro, on a serious note, it's very possible u have a chronic nose infection that prevents you from smelling odours.

mikolo80:
no be everybody de smell body odour like una

If u no dey smell am then make u go treat ya nose!

deedondavi:
Just be neat.....deodorant gives me lumps... mah skin is so sensitive.

Don't use roll-on, use sprays.

adegoke93:
This madness don pass 5minutes ooo

Your own start from 1993

Medunah:
Guys should pls always shave their armpit too

Correct!

thesicilian:
Lol. Message received and understood.

√

PrincessAnna:
Weed for what?

To help u study better my dear.
You know am interested in your success.

And when she wants a promotion she can sleep with the boss again. And when the boss wants some extra pussy he will threaten her and she will sleep with the boss again. And when she wants to get married and the boss threathens to expose her she will sleep with the boss again. And when....

sinaj:
was in choch lst nite

Hehehehe yeah
Was in choch too
The ministration was awesoome if u get my meaning

PrincessAnna:
I didn't read the write up, I am very picky would ask the guy there and then to get one

I for say.
Cos you don't look like you stink.

I like you

Want some weed?

thesicilian:
Good question. But the question I normally ask is, why should I use deodorants?

Cos when you sweat and it dries on your body it stinks to high heaven. You may not smell it but the guy next to you is in serious pains. Even the flies dat get too close pass out!

sinaj:
weed addict

.
Sexxxy baby. U look like the gurl I went out with last night. Long sexy backside ((no offeinse))

PrincessAnna:
I do use

.
Then why did u quickly jump to d defence? This guy is stinking so bad even the flies aren't going near him! I sure say e no baff

Now d driver no gree use AC

.