₦airaland Forum

Ujoan:
How is spending time with his own wife making him unhappy? Besides how do you know he's not staying home now because he has realized that he should be staying home in the first place And that all these while he has been wasting precious time staying out than staying home

If you read right, you'd see that marriage is actually for the comfort of men, not women. If not,why should a woman be trying to make a man stay in the house he married her and brought her into? Why should she have to be 'tactful' or 'make herself interesting' so her own husband spend time with her rather than with his friends Why should a woman have to feel guilty for wanting to come first in her husband's life?

Shebi marriage is by force? If he so wanted to be with his friends why not just stay single and live his life to the fullest?

Shebi staying home makes him unhappy? well guess what, him not being home makes us unhappy.

So in the end it all boils down to what we really want, and what is important. Making myself happy or dying in silence so my husband can be happy?

I choose the former, and only because he made me marry him. So he owes me happiness!

Arisha:
What do you do when a person makes you feel invisible and only realizes that you exit when you are upset or he needs to bed you?!?

How about this, systematically ignoring me when I speak so I have to call his name and then repeat everything. How do you even become friends with someone whose constantly on the screen or isn't home?!

I never. Not for once insisted on tagging with him and his friends. Heck I can't even stand looking at them! It's not that their bad people but he's making me dislike them and I admit I am jealous of them! I sometimes cry myself to sleep and feel like my love for him is fading away little more everyday and that scares me.

I always suggest on weekends that we rent a car go out have fun and spend time alone but he refuses everytime by saying that this place is too far or the road to that beach is dangerous to drive to. I feel like he isn't interested or care in getting to know me a lot better than now.


I think I am gonna leave and go back to my family and friends stay over for sometime and cut him off. one can only take so much. I need to do this for him and myself, if he still doesn't miss me or look for me then only God knows what was his intentions when asked for my hand in marriage and swearing to love me through good and bad.

andromida:
Instead of studying him study yourself to find and develop what interests and excites you so that whenever you guys spend time together you have quality time instead of quantity where he feels harangued into spending time with you then you feel bad he feels bad and the time you have together feels tense with undercurrents of resentment because he feels obligated into spending time with you.

talk2riel:
She is the lost child of the "PROCTOR" of the river nile who was washed ashore by a tsunami in 2000BC. The codex represent a higher form of calligraphy she is using to trace her way to the under world.




@ OP search her stuff if you find a silver bangles with red trimming then she has been contacted by the under world

petkruz:
I'm a pant freak, I buy pants everytime,i just love changing my undies regularly! However it's very convenient for me to wash only on Saturdays. The ones I used the whole week,i soak them in jik Friday night,however I don't get to use those pants till middle next month. As a lady u should have up to 40pants or more that's my candid advice.

Amya:
I had an ex who was so obsessed with me. He was sweet sometimes, but physical abusive and obsessed at the same time. Anytime I threaten to leave, he'd always tell me that he'd kill me and kill himself. One time, he embarrassed me in public and I knew I had to leave. I moved out of my school apartment and changed my line.

I ran into him 2 years later and he was pleasant. He told me I had hurt him when I disappeared but he'd gotten over me. He asked me where I was going and volunteered to drop me off. We were heading to the right direction when he suddenly veered off and started driving to town at a break neck speed. Jeez! I thought I'd die that day. I started screaming, shouting and begging him. He didn't look at my direction. His face was a mask! I started crying and pleading and suddenly, he slowed down. As soon as it was safe, I jumped out of the vehicle and ran as fast as my legs could carry me. That guy's a complete but job!

Lumpyy:
I never said it was acceptable,i mean she knew what she was doing and didnt think it was bad until d guy broke up with her

phantonce:
OP, you seriously need to bleach a little.
We are called black but not charcoal.

Anyone that says black is beauty has definitely not come across you.
i had to increase my screen brighteness to see your eye ball.
I cnt even see your face in the pic.

Mindfulness:
You are saying that she has "a deep seated paranoia and other psychological disorders" and you wonder why people pity her?

Moreover, do you think a person who suffers from what you have just described, is able to make reasonable decisions?
Did she decide to take the abuse or is it a result of her disorders?

netotse:
Apart from your not agreeing with all the people calling it rape, what is your take on the situation/scandal?

Strawman:
Yes...? How may I help you?

Mindfulness:
Age is not a guarantee for maturity and emotional health. Some people are emotionally unhealthy due to childhood experiences and others suffer from mental / emotional health issues in the later stages of their lives due to the inability to cope with life's challenges.
It is not a question of age. An emotionally healthy person who had a beautiful childhood can go through a traumatic experience which can result in mental health issues. In my view, no healthy young girl would agree to what the girl agreed and no man of integrity would take advantage of such a person.

Timbuktou:
I was going to type something to this effect but i just kept editing and editing till i gave up. This thread will be full of people who'll appeal to emotion instead of being dispassionate. I'm yet to see anybody pat Audu on the back and it's not even about absolving him. Mean, my head is tired abeg. Sleep dey worry me.

Meanwhile, in Washington, USA, age of consent is 16.

cococandy:
Should we hold a 13 yr old responsible too?
I know they understand sex at 13 and can say No or choose to roll with the adult without being forced or coerced.

Mindfulness:
Now I get where you are coming from.

Let me ask you one question though, do you think an emotionally healthy person would do what the girl did for her ex-boyfriend?

Onegai:
No-one is calling Sugabelly a saint and an innocent victim. People are upset because she is the one being blamed here for making bad choices at a time when the Law said she was too young to make good decisions. No-one will blame Mustapha Audu even though the Law says he is old enough to make good decisions. That is what Statutory Rape is: a crime against someone who should not be making decisions to have sex with another person older than he/she.

If she had been 18 when this all started, I'd be sad about her questionable choices but that's it.

Onegai:
5minsmadness post

Please answer these questions honestly:

1. If you travelled to a Western country and got hit on romantically by a beautiful high school senior who was everything you've fantasised about but was just turned17, would you sleep with her?

2. If i shot you and had a phone (with several names in the address book) in my hand with just enough credit for one phone call to save your life and made you pick whom to give it to, would you pick a 17 year old or a 25 year old?

Btw, I didn't have sex till I was in uni and over 18 oh. I was actually a mindless zombie (a uni boy once met me during hols and sent me a love letter in secondary school. I gave it to my mum, so at least you can now say you've met a teenage zombie ) but I'm not a good or virtuous person (on this thread I've admitted to wanting to take a life).

AfroKnight:
Hmmm. You have a point. She may call it anything but can she really call it rape? It was consensual. That much is clear.

This story of hers has an opportunistic stink to it.

The comments here are interesting. Funny, someone wrote that "most" men have had sex with minors. This is reaching. Well, unless you mean teenagers having sex but then the male is hardly a man at that age.

Don't let emotions run amok. This looks more like blackmail considering the timing of this "revelation".