₦airaland Forum

Amya:
I've read through all the detail I could get my hands on, tweets, blog posts going as far back as 2008, emails e.t.c on this sugar belly and mustafa case and I've reached the following conclusions.

1. Their first sexual experience in the car was consensual by all accounts.

2. They became lovers and did the car screwing for a while.

3. After he took her home for the first time, it got kinkier seeing how agreeable and easy she was.

4. He took advantage of her love/infatuation and agreeability and introduced new dimensions to their relationship. the. esomes, 0rgies, gangbangs e.t.c

5. She really wasn't extremely into all that kinkiness, but she thought being agreeable will make her look cool and probably make mustafa love her more.

6. So she kept going back for more and more of that. But rather than love her, he despised her agreeability. He hated was disgusted at/lost respect for her for not standing up to herself and inflicted physical pain to go with it.

7. But she stuck around for the debasement till she left for college in the US.

8. While in the US, she 'd hoped that the relationship would continue, but it didn't. he hatedwas disgusted at her for what she was and gladly closed the page on her chapter. She was never meant to be a long term relationship for him.

9. She called persistently, sent loads of messages, texts e.t.c most of which he never bother to reply. She did all she could for 8 months to revive the relationship but the guy had lost interest.

10. And broke off with her officially to stem the flow of calls and messages. She was heartbroken.

11. Rather than move on, that incident brought in depression, humilation and extreme hatred.

12. A week after the break up, she wrote on her blog on how he dumped her and how she still loved him. There was also the first reference to emotional abuse on that post.

13. The humiliation of what she went through came back and started eating her up. Making her relieve the experience and recreate it to suit her current situation.



Did Mustafa take advantage of her? yes.

Did he abuse her physically and emotionally? yes.

Did he hate her? yes

Did he do gangbangs with her involved and his friends? yes

Was it consensual? yes!


The guy is a scum of the earth. He took advantage of an impressionable 17 year old and probably scarred her for life. But he didn't rape her.



And wait a minute, where did the guy's dad factor into all this? was he also part of the Group Intimacy. Especially since it was his death that excavated this brouhaha.

she asked if she and our son stay at my place till she can get someplace else.

mancheeutd:
wetin u dey do for onila thread don't u know she's just an attention seeking toothless biitch..

LordReed:
[b]How about that guy hug of camaraderie? [/b]It is one of the strategies I plan to use along with good natured back slapping.

cococandy:
Most of them were raised to believe that showing emotions (except anger, joy, admiration, surprise, sadness, grief, interest, anticipation, remorse, awe, love ) is effeminate which in turn affects their relationship with their kids.

But I guess those things are gradually changing now.

SAMBARRY:
They bought it for him deliberately so that the parents wouldn't have to be buying school uniform for the child every now and then.he can wear it from primary 1-3.moreover he will soon grow taller and the trousers will become 3/4for him

LordReed:
BTW Omoswags you already pointed out in the OP that this is hardly a Nigerian thing so why put it in the thread topic? Fathers all over the world are known to be less touchy feely with their sons.

Phema:
Trust me, that lady knows what she's doing.

And no, she doesn't love you. The feeling is mutual. She knows exactly what she wants and won't mind how she gets treated as long as her mission is accomplished. Many women (and men) donot marry for love. Feel free to join their league.

Way forward? Marry her and make it work. Open marriage maybe?

You're welcome.

IYANGBALI:
abeg na who get needle and thread?i wan do my pant

bellong:


Thank you jare....

She thinks every man on the street is irresponsible.

Momcherry:
Congrats to her

I have a lot to say to u but u're not worth it

thorpido:
Yea but we can know some people to avoid.

Rukemi291:
Early on Thursday, 19th, I received a call that my girl had left home with her belongings and she left a note that she was angry with me that I did not let her go to school and that if not that she loved my son ehn.....


I think the mistake we made was that we got her a phone and even loaded the phone. My husband said he noticed she was always calling someone and he once heard her telling the receiver the address of where she was.

I really wish to visit her mum when I return and I hope to see her and ask her questions.

I really appreciate my family for staying with me throughout this period and I'm glad I'm not hypertensive maybe I'd have lost this pregnancy. And I thank God most that she didn't hurt my son because I never hurt her.

Well, it's all good. Life goes on.

I am not trying to discourage people from getting house helps....

thorpido:
Sadly,they deserve each other.Didn't they court?They ought to have known each other's temperament and should not have married.

Mindfulness:

Nobody is responsible for someone else's happiness.



Emotionally healthy people surround themselves with people and things that are good for them. I don't want to tell anyone what they should or shouldn't do but it is possible to be happy regardless of conditions and circumstances. It has been a very liberating lesson for me to understand that I do not need anyone to feel good and that my spouse's presence or absence is not necessary for me to feel great. From this place, I can love my spouse unconditionally even when the person leaves and I am so full of happiness and joy that my spouse loves to be around me. I do not place on anyone the responsibility and burden of me feeling good and satisfied. Whatever you do for me, you do it freely and if you can't do it from a place of joy, you don't have to do it at all. I, for my part, have a lot of love to share.



My ideology is that it is good to be selfish and that by being selfish I have a lot to offer. My theology is that we are all Gods / Goddesses.



It doesn't have a name. It is a spiritual journey but my personal one and not bound to any particular school of thought, philosophy or ideology. I am notorious for cherry-picking. I am in love with Buddhism as a life style and I embrace many of the Christian core values, as I understand and interpret them, but I am neither a Buddhist nor a Christian. I am a divine and eternal being and I believe that everyone else is, too. Even those who irritate me at times.

Mindfulness:
Doesn't a mature man know that it is just a phase and doesn't he know better ways to handle the situation?

What if they know why?

Not true. If a man refuses to eat the food instead of solving the problem, then it is best to respect the decision else one will be tagged nagging wife.

Kimoni:
I strongly disagree

It's a phase...when there are bigger issues, the last thing you are bothered about is a full fledged grown man not eating your food. Especially when it's a reoccurring thing.

Do you know how difficult it is to get children to eat? The petting, cajoling? Not to mention the threats

And you'll finish with all that and start worrying about an adult not eating...hehehe

YOUNGKAHUNA:
I can remember doing this sh!t to my ex... It do pissed her off, pampering and begging me to eat her food. It's really a childish act. I'm more matured now. If I'm pissed with my woman, there are ways to deal with it and not rejecting her food

Dyt:

So me I am bitter cane?
*punches him*

Abduletudaye:
In relationships or marriage, everything is not so rosey. The experienced ones can confirm but there's always that time when the lady upsets her man and the man punishes her by not eating her food.

Does this action really disturb you ladies?

ApexTitan:
It's bad everywhere; real life, nairaland, mainstream media, everywhere. T[b]oo many men who go out of their way to appease women at the expense of their own dignity[/b], it's sad to watch.

Just five minutes ago before I logged on here I was trying to watch a tv show (The Newsroom season 3) but I had to stop in disgust - all the male characters who were supposedly reasonable men were absolute simps or buffoons. I come online and see all kinds of excuses men make for women and I begin to wonder if there is any hope at all. Everywhere you turn there is an emasculated man singing the same song.