₦airaland Forum

hahn:
That applies to ALL relationships bro not just marriage. Whenever you're dealing with someone else, you have to make sacrifices. You don't expect to be pleased every time. You have to give back too.

And in this is the summary of my initial post, only in my case I focused on marriage. Now kindly go back and read the inital post again.
Thank you.

snakebeat:
U're a very sensible fellow.
@ the emboldened, so true...
If not for pro creation, honestly I see no reason for marriage, this emotion called love is deceitful....

No man is an Island.
you cant remain alone all your life.
The lonliness will be unbearable.

hahn:
This is how its done, open your ears. Whenever I'm with my wife and I see a big butt shaking in front of us, I say "honey, check out that big ass" and she goes "oboy! Chai, there is god ooo"

Yeah right.
Everytime you oogle a woman's bums you tell your wife about it.

Lets say for a moment I beleive you...
You think deep down your wife will be happy hearing you make comments like that, even if you are sharing it with her?
Of course not! But your sharing is like telling her "See, am still doing this thing, but i'm telling you about it so you know its harmless."
She gets that and so wont raise hell about it. she'll turn a blind eye to it.

Thats what I'm talking about.

hahn:
Of course I look at other women's behind. What has that got to do with your initial post?

And you really think your wife hasnt caught you once or twice doing so but didnt say anything about it?

hahn:
You just got dumped, right? Take heart, smoke some weed and chill. It's not the end the world

No, I didnt just get dumped.
It amazes me how allergic we are to reality in this forum. This is family section for goodness sake, where we are supposed to discuss and air common views. You want to sit in front of your computer and tell me since the day you got married you havent even glanced at another woman's behind? and you are not gay?

Ok.

hahn:
Guy, I'm married

And yet you didnt answer my question
Dont worry. I understand.

MarvellousGod:
Really?

Did i say anyone is perfect?? Abeg your argument is taking another direction so I will just stop...

I have edited my post. Re-read pls.
Which direction is my post taking?

gidjah:
5minutez mad man!, sorry ,5minutes mad boy, are you married or ever been in one before??biko tell me, before I respond to ya post o, else NA slap I go send over to you

Are you yourself married?

Why cant we all be honest for once. Same "No reason to hit a woman" crew. If a woman stabs you in the chest with a butcher's knife dont hit her,dont defend yourself, just walk away.
smh.

hahn:
Where do you guys find such women? You really need to upgrade

This post is childish though

This is what happens when single folks try to give an opinion on marriage

Another liar.

How many women have you checked out this week alone? Just lookery, nothing else?

Go on. Lie and tell me none.

MarvellousGod:
I knew you were going to ask

These are the things I can turn a blind eye to, I will provide just three Egs:

-Not washing foam off the bathroom walls after bath.
-Leaving the kitchen untidy whenever he uses it.
-Leaving his clothes scattered in the wardrobe etttttccc...


I can never be mute if my husband has romantic chats with girls or goes about staring at my friends boobs or behind, it's disgraceful. . I will only keep quiet if my love for him is dead or so tired of his disgraceful acts.. or maybe I gat my own 'parol' too....

Even the three Egs I gave above, before I become quite about them I must shown my displeasure at one or the other.. If my complaints ain't yielding anything, then I ignore. . I can't be completely quitequiet when my partner does things I don't like, what's the essence of communication? You have to express your dissatisfaction cos he may be ignorant of what he's causing you ...it's totally different from nagging. .. I expect my partner to do same to me. My happiness is his happiness and vice versa. ...

Are you married?
If yes, with all due respect YOU ARE LYING.

Lets be honest for once abeg, there's no perfect man or woman out there. I'm not perfect, you definitely are not perfect and most likely your husband isnt perfect. And I'm not talking about washing foams off bathroom walls.

Your husband will glance at a woman's arse at least once in your marriage. Thats a fact. Are you saying you are going to divorce him the moment you catch him once?



p.s, I'm niot talking about condoning romantic chats. But you cant stand around your husband with your eyes wide in alarm everytime someone calls him honey. You will just get bp for nothing.

MarvellousGod:
Sorry, I can't turn a blind eye to stuffs you mentioned on your fourth paragraph because they're serious issues to me..

I also know my husband won't be mute knowing I intentionally dupe him (he may let you keep the money but he must tell you), keeping change from purchases is different from this.. Also my husband can't keep quiet after you mock him infront of my/his friends(who even mocks her spouse in public? )

There are things I turn blind eyes to but none is part of your list, all these you mentioned are big deals biko except when they've become continuous occurrence, then one can ignore....

So what are the things you turn a blind eye to?

Cutehector:
Naah... I guess its all abt team work.. U dnt hav to be blind.

"Its all about teamwork" is a stereotype response. Its like saying all couples that get married lived happilyever after. a lot of couples live ever after but not 'happily'...many couples simply live 'contentedly' ever after or 'manageably' ever after.

Even in those couples that preach teamwork there is some level of blindness and mumuism.

It's simple. Sometimes your partner gives you an insight into what she really feels about you or your finances. She tells you how you have not done enough for her despite the fact that you slave to ensure she gets the best or at least as good as her friends (who she is always comparing herself with consciously or unconsciously with... Women do this a lot whether they want to admit it or not) do. Sometimes you see her being selfish with her finances, buying things with your money and surreptitiously making others feel she was the one that bought them, giving her relatives transport fare when they are leaving and not telling them it was you who gave her the t. Fare to give them. All in a bid to let them feel she is independent of you. She tells you to give her n50,000 to go to market to buy foodstuff, even shows you a list, meanwhile you know for sure that meat doesn't cost that amount per kilo, you know cos you priced it the other day at Shoprite out of curiosity. You know that list wint cost more than n30k but you keep quiet anyway.

You watch as she proudly displays her culinary skills in front of her friends,telling them how she saved you from hunger and starvation in your bachelor days, they grin and shake thier heads at you and you smile helplessly to their pleasure, using eye contact to keep the secret that it was you who taught her to cook like this during your nysc together.

She keeps 'borrowing' money from you, money you know she's never going to pay back but she insists that she will 'one day' and then when you borrow a little from her in your time of need she haggle and frowns her pretty face until you give it back to her.
The list goes on and on.

But you know she's playing at being blind too so you don't grumble so much. You know she has caught you on more than one occasion staring at her best friend's oversized melons with secret hunger. Watched you devour thier massive behinds with lustful eyes that portray forbidden passion. She smells the breath of alcohol on your lips as you kiss her good evening, knowing you are trying hard to pretend as if you just came from work and not from Giddy's Bar where you had a drink with the boys every Friday night where they show live mapouka dance entertainment ;guys N1500, ladies free. She doesn't utter a word in protest but kisses you back with a smile and a hug and the promising smell of dinner cooking in the kitchen. She pretends not to hear the numerous single girls that start a phone conversation or text with you with the greeting "hello honey" and pretends not to notice when you suddenly have the urge to answer your phone call in the corridor or toilet away from her audio prowess. As long as you don't come home late and you are not having an affair she pretends to be blind and deaf.

You ignore her excesses because you love her. She ignores your furtive glances because she loves you.
And in those rare instances where you both are screaming at each other and letting your feelings and hurt out as ALL couples eventually do, those instances when you let each other know you know what they thought you didn't know even though you knew deep down that they did... In those instances you are quick to forgive each other because you both appreciate the other being blind and deaf.

In marriage being in love is all about being a mumu.

-5minsmadness

MizJanet:
So you didnt see that he quotes a passage that said "the lamb was slain" , y'all belive that lamb is God himself who was sacrificed for ur sins.

So to whom did God sacrifice himself ?

modified***its a waste of time.

MizJanet:
Pls, to who exactly did God sacrifice himself ?

Pls where did you see OP saying GOD sacrificed himself to someone in that post you quoted?

darkenedrebel:
like serious Nairaland is dying..

if I had a son that misbehaved - I'd make him read the thrashy front page topics on NL as punishment... ✘

. Bwahahahhahahahahahahaha!






But honestly I didnt get the racism either

johnydon22:
Hahahahahahahahaha i wasn't actually thinking on replying you or attack your post bro. . . Am just an [b]agnostic atheist that doesn't make me anti-theist or anti-christian or anti-muslim...

Funny dude [/b]

@bolded no such thing as an agnostic atheist. The two terms are different.

In fact your last statement as a whole doesn't make sense. How can u be atheist and not anti-theist?
Is this a bait?
Hope we don't derail this thread.

pickabeau1:
For every woman there is a kind of man


For every bey a jayz
For every toke a maje

So keppy don't mind the old school mamis

If you want to work to get money so you can outsource the cooking..good for you

Be patient and don't feet while you wait

It shall surely come

In short why stop at cooking?
You can hire a surrogate to have your kids so you don't spoil your figure

You can hire a porn star to give ur hubby sex so your punny is not affected

Carry goooooo

And you started out so innocently too

Johnydon22 am not answering you. Just know in advance

italo:
That is a lie. Before, during and after the medieval era, there have been hundreds of religions in the world.

There was German engineering before the Nazi party...

And I never attributed all scientific marvels to the Catholic Church.

So your post in no way addresses mine.

I said the Catholic Church practically invented science, sponsored and nurtured it. I showed how Catholic clergy and laymen were pioneers of many scientific fields.

I did these in response to an ignoramus who thinks that religion is a bane to humanity, while science is opposite...[size=18pt]not knowing that science is a child of religion[/size].

OUCHHH!!!

italo:
It's simple.

The Church teaches us to do good to the less privileged...and many Catholics do so.

So I commend the Church and members who follow that teaching.

The Church teaches loudly, clearly and consistently, that sex is for married couples only, yet a minute % of Catholics have been found to molest young boys.

I cannot blame the Church for that...I blame the individuals who refused to follow Church teaching.

However, when I look at the overall picture, the Church and its hierarchy have done faaaaaar more good than the evil they have done.

But enemies of the Church like you pick on one bad thing and blow it out of proportion...while ignoring the millions of good things happening every second in every country.

For example, you speak a lot about Priests who molested children...

Have you ever spoken about the hundreds of priests who remain in places like Syria and Iraq, even in North-eastern Nigeria (when they can easily get out, and many have given their lives for this) just to offer both spiritual and material relief to the traumatized citizens of all religions?

NO!

Why?

Because you're not interested in truth...you're interested in preaching against religion, irrespective of the truth.

What could it be, but dishonesty and hypocrisy, that makes you judge a religion, not on what it teaches, and not on the deeds of the majority who adhere to these teachings...but on the few who disregard its teachings?

If 11 of your 12 Children mostly do good as you taught them to...but one, who by the way also does good most times, ends up murdering someone...

Should you be ajudged an evil murderer?

God bless you sir!
Most people on here are not interested in seeking the truth. They just argue to sensationalize or discredit or insult the Christian faith. . And when they are stumped they tell you that you have made no point and quickly walk away.

It's fruitless engaging in reasonable discussions here.

Brandnew2:
Marriage is overrated jor!
Told my pops recently how easy it is to get a baby mama especially if you're rich and successful and yet still keep your freedom unhinged.
See how Obafemi had three kids from three different women. Tuface idibia too.
They are celebs so their case is kinda different but then certain regular guys too get hooked only when bae gets pregnant.

I personally don't want such but then who cares.

I care.

Nice write-up op. Very insightful.

lampardizik:
If He wasn't going to establish a Kingdom why tell Peter "upon this rock will I build my church and the gate of hell shall not prevail over it"?

The Church,which is the body of Christ is the 'Kingdom of Heaven' that both John the Baptist and Jesus Himself preached and that Kingdom is here on the earth. The second coming of Christ will bring the Kingdom of God with God as the Ruler of it,so that brother was right...

Stop arguing with him. He is just arguing for arguments sake. That guy answered his question wella.

Burlah4u2c:
Thanks man.. I can't but help read the whole chapter...verse 9 says it all... 2 Peter 3:9 The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.... and thats it..The OP needs see this..

Cc reiyvinn

frosbel:
I hope it does not get to that point, though at this point my former belief system is in constant turmoil.

Why?

Children are much smarter than we give them credit for.

EfemenaXY:


***Smacks his hands off!***

Have some respect boy! Don't you know I'm old enough to be your grandmother??

[size=5pt] No grandmother I know has such hot ankles... Just saying...[/size]

EfemenaXY:
Mtcheeeeeeeeeewww!!

I'm never gonna take you seriously again. Ever.

Grabs her by those lovely ankles
Ah! Sista mi! No vex na... Na joke I dey

tearoses:
Obviously you are both not on the same page so it may be in both your best interest to walk away. If she doesnt see it as a problem then its really difficult to even reach a compromise.
If it really means that much to you, there is no point you starting to "misbehave" 3 years down the line when it can be avoided now
She is right, some guys like fat guys, just that you dont happen to fall into that category and she now needs to look for one who does

Somehow my instinct tells me that you are trolling this "cold" and wet "summer" afternoon

BTW what does JFL mean?

JFL


means





























JUST FOR LAFFS


I'm bored sh!tless at home jor, lazy hot Sunday afternoon. Was trying to see things from the guys perspective.
This trolling is hard work

EfemenaXY:
No.

She has the choice to either go or stay.

As an offside, I hope you too will keep fit and trim in equal measure? It's not a one-sided thing, you know.

Jfl

Currently on a diet as we speak.
She's a nice girl really but her attitude yesterday was uncalled for. Should I be afraid of saying what I feel? She should look for the fat loving men.

tearoses:
One never knows when you are joking or serious. Must be this 5 min madness thing

On a serious note I know of 2 people who eat so much its almost embarassing.
Yesterday one of them went to hide and eat in the kitchen (hall party) because according to her, her husband had warned her not to eat at the party ( I guess becasue she loads so much on her plate) and it embarasses him.
She got up from the table like she was going to greet someone and the next time I saw her she was perching on a chair beside the fridge eating poundo

Funny enough these people arent obese, so it could just be a overactive metabolism, Maybe your babe is just a hungry lass and she may not end up obese if thats what you are worried about.

Im Just joking o! You do what you think is right for you. you are the one who will live with her at the end of the day.

Jfl
I repeat the lady is stubborn. Also its not so much her being obese as her not wanting to do anything about it. I have no issues with her weight now but what about when she starts having kids? Also the way she flaunts the eating stuff like no one has a right to tell her what and what not to eat. And she argues like crazy.

Our marriage class teacher told us o sort stuff out if we see anything we don't lime about our partners and are keeping mom about. I've not been to comfortable with her weight for a while but i didn't think it was bad enough to dump her. My issue is she doesnt think it's a big deal and I do. She's not fat per se but definitely curvy. Her people are on the plump side too and I don't want her reaching that level. I gently brought up the issue and she started yelling. I say one thing she says two, arguing that guys like fat ladies too.

No qualms she should go and meet them.

Am I bad for looking out for what I want in a woman?