₦airaland Forum

freecocoa:
If you know me, you'd know that that's the end of the relationship, that's why I said I can NEVER be treated that way.


inshort there's no need going back and forth as this can NEVER, I repeat NEVER happen to me.

And to think you call it a mistake is sickening, how the feck is such a mistake? I don't envy the woman in your life.

@bolded wasn't necessary, am not the guy in the story dearie take it easy

You women can be so emotional!

No woman expects it to happen to her BUT IT DOES happen eventually to an unfortunate number. That's reality. They come home and find their loving husband whom they thought "can never, I repeat, NEVER do it to her" in bed with another woman, or in this case sitting at the back seat while the sidechic sits in front

I can't imagine how the man would feel if the situation was reversed.

However it HAS HAPPENED, he is not a god, he is human and has made a mistake. You would prefer him not to apologise, not to say anything? Simply pack and leave? You won't even want to know why?!

Madam that's not what you'll do. You will be upset like you are now and he'll follow the response to the aggressive approach I put up there if he's a wise man.

Or He could do as you say and leave you anyway, without an explanation or anything. It means he never really loved you in the first place and has finally found a reason to leave.

whizqueen:
Lol. Why am I seeing this late na


I'll invite my newly found friend to our house and my husband would be around too. We'll all have a party and he will tell me what his "little boy" is looking for outside when we're done.




I'm a bit crazy you may think

You're indeed "one in a million"

freecocoa:
I expect of him not to behave in that manner to start with but for the sake of this thread, he should not even bother trying to patronise me, I hate that with a passion.

It would be best he just leaves the house.

OK wait o,

If my husband did that(it took me a lot to type that, because I can't bear to think I can ever be treated that way)

This is what you typed so I want to infer from this statement that your husband is a very nice and caring person (rolls eyes)
So will you divorce him because of this one mistake?

. Secondly, secondly you r not thinking this through at all , tell the truth na if he should come back and without saying a word packs his things and leaves the house wouldn't you think he was jejerly going to bunk with his mistress
Wouldn't u stop him and ask for an explanation? Be honest abegi!

freecocoa:
No I don't have to forgive, atleast not the way you present it, especially with the kind of apology you think sweet.

If my husband did that(it took me a lot to type that, because I can't bear to think I can ever be treated that way) and came home to do dishes and put up appearance with me, may murder not be the case against me sha.

Oh really.
Ok what would you expect him to do?

zainyola:
U such a swit@

Thanks dearie.
The man is already at fault. The least he can do is plead for forgiveness.

Don't mind those other ladies opposing your post, saying they will bring the house down etc etc. It's only online they can make mouth. In reality they'll probably forgive thier husband faster than you will rather than have another woman snatch him

hahn:
All relationships come with a certain level of compromise. What exactly do you have against marriage?

I hope your parents marriage didn't lead to such a perspective

ok.
I have nothing against marriage.
Aparently you are trolling.
Or trying to bait me for some reason.
Or you have very serious comprehension problems.
Whichever it is, its your problem.
All the best.

Gracious10:
I have been reading stuff on family section. Compromise is important in marriage. Sometimes, you just can't compromise anymore.

Please, how do u ignore a husband who yells and scream at every thing. Always angry and dfficult to convince.

He's a great provider, family oriented, faithful,Godfearing and cares for his family. How can this anger issue be handled or better still dealt with?

Anger issues are always very difficult to handle, especially in cases like yours when it seems like it is the man's natural behaviour i.e he is a naturally hot-tempered person.

The initial response will be didn't you see this before you got marrried? Why did you marry him in the first place?

But the truth is that in the real world life is not black and white. Nobody married a 100%perfect person(although some monikers here will have us believe otherwise for their own selfish reasons or probably to elevate thier self esteem--whatever works for them). Every partner has a major flaw the other spouse is trying to deal with and it is dealing with these flaws that bring about the compromise we speak of.

So don't worry, you are not alone.

You have to be the patient person with your spouse. As you outlined in the bolded, he has a lot of good qualities so he's not a devil or anything. I believe you would have spoken to him about his anger issues. NOT during a heated quarrel but in a calm serene environment when you both are enjoing each other's company, maybe after a meal or while playing with the kids or watching tv together. If you havent done so please do so.

Explain to him how hurt and frightened you feel anytime he goes into a temper tantrum. Let him know how it makes you feel to see the person you love so much behaving so violently in front of you. Explain to him that two heads are better than one and he should let you air your views once in a while. A sane man that loves you will listen and promise to change for the better. He may give reasons for his behavoiur but dont worry, the important thing is that he has not just heard but listened to your points.

Still, its not magic, that change will not come immediately. Its a habit of his, one he performs on impulse,probably something he has been doing all his life. So you'll have to be patient with him and accomodate his behaviour. Eventually with time he will reduce his temper and listen more to you and you yourself will become more patient towards him. You will both meet at the middle. Meeting at the middle afterall is the compromise we are talking about.

Prayer is also very important. Make it a habit in the house if you can, for both of you. Prayer brings families closer together and has a calming effect,it is also an opprtunity to air views and problems in a suble, almost subconscious manner. It is african therapy and can work wonders. I also believe in the supernatural and that your prayers will also lead to peace and understanding in your household.

All the best.

And I cried, I dont know why

After a while it was the boy holding his father instead of the father holding him.
How time changes things.
Very touching.

trust first.

Love, real love, comes with time.

LordReed:
Come now are we going to start calling compliments deception? Why would you rate a man complimenting his wife so she feels good the same as the man hiding a possible affair? They not even remotely alike please.

There wasn't any talk of an affair in my op.

And a lie is a lie. Complimentary or not.

Lamispaco:
A wife asked her husband to drop her off at a friends house, where a wedding reception was taking. place. He responded that he would be too busy throughout the day in the office, and gave
her some money to use as taxi for transport. He left for the office.

The wife took a Taxi to the wedding reception, there she met a fine Girl and
they got talking to each other. Soon they became friends. In the evening when everyone was leaving, the Girl asked the Woman how she was
going home. She replied that her husband was too busy in the office to pick her up so she would use a taxi. The Girl responded; "My boyfriend
brought me here and would be coming to pick me up. I just spoke to him on the phone and he's on his way. Why don't you join me in his car and we would drop you at your house"The woman agreed. A few minutes later, her husband's car arrived.
The Girl jumped into the front passengers seat of the car and asked the Woman to sit at the backseat, which she did confused and perturbed.
Then the Girl introduced her new friend to her boyfriend. When the man turned around to greet the woman, he recognized her as his wife.
Nothing much was said along the way. He dropped the wife at home first as planned and
proceeded to drop the Girl at her house...

The question now is: If you were the wife, what would you do when your husband returns home? If you
were the husband, what would you say to your wife when you return home.

Cc
Ishilove
Lalasticlala
Royalroy

What's done is done.
Go home and assuming wifey is still there and hasnt locked you out let myself in. The rest depends on wife's reaction.

1. Quiet reaction: Say nothing as well at first. However make sure she doesnt lift a finger that night. Cook, clean, do the dishes, leave her to watch her favourite program, wait for her to go to bed. Then apologise from the depth of my heart, tell her I'm sorry and it will never happen again. Then wait for a response. There is no defence in this scenario. If she screams, absorb it. If she strikes or slaps do not retaliate. Let her get it all out. Agree I was wrong and apologise again. After which I will go downstairs and sleep on the couch. If she doesnt respond then I go to the couch anyway and sleep till morning. Leave an apology note and go to work. the rest depends on her.

2. Aggressive reaction. She starts screaming, throwing things, getting physical. Plan: allow her to vent. Wait for moments when she wants to catch her breath then apologise. keep silent when she begins her tirade again. If she gets too physical e.g going for a weapon restrain her gently. If she uses her hands let her blows hit, it will help calm her down. Apologise again, say you were wrong, tell her it wont happen again. IF she threathens divorce DO NOT BEG. Allow her talk. allow her vent. When all is over and she has calmed down apologise again and promise it will never happen again.

Call girlfriend and tell her that was your wife. End the affair immediately.

PastorAji:
to be candid if not for d fact that I've zeroed my mind that when God is ready for us.... fine
Oti n su mi
And if not for d mere fact that I don't wanna cheat on her......

Have u seen a medical doctor? Do you know what the actual hindrance is?

Brandnew2:
Maybe OP suffers from low sperm count.

LordReed:
I will check them out but I did check no1 as well and the conclusions I saw was that it was manufactured on earth.

What conclusions?
With scientific carbon dating of 300million years old??

bukatyne:
Some level of compromise and permissiveness do not exceed overlooking scattered wardrobes.

Amen.

Yet to see it.
But ok.

bukatyne:
@OP:

While no one is perfect, some people (husbands & wives) are perfect enough for their spouses and know the boundaries not to be crossed.

Not every man will cheat/flirt on his wife nor will all women dupe/degrade her husband.

And yes, some marriages are long lasting because of love

thank you.

@bolded, the op is meant to be a generalization, it does not mean all marriages experience the exact examples stated therein, however ALL marriages thrive with a certain level of compromise and permissiveness.

LordReed:
You want to know the truth behind these tablets? Here it is: Mexico and Guatemala make HUGE amounts of money from archaeological tourism. In fact, back in 2011 nearly 25 percent of the Guatemalan GDP came from tourism. Both governments invest a great deal of money into archaeological research in the hopes that we will discover some new cash cow for them. They know this to be a smart move, and they also know that there are a lot of dumb gringos out there who hold a lot of silly beliefs about the Maya, gringos who would empty their wallets just to catch a glimpse of some "proof" that space aliens visited the Maya. It is a scam and that is precisely why (to quote the article itself) "the highest-ranking government official to go on record confirming the discovery of extraterrestrial life" was the secretary of Tourism in Campeche. Someone noticed all the hype surrounding the ahistorical 2012 Doomsday nonsense and cooked up a scheme to turn that kind of interest into something more long term. If UFO enthusiasts wish to retain any public credibility as rational people who respond to facts and not fantasy, they will work closely with Archaeologists (who, let me tell you, are incredibly sick and frustrated with this constant stream of Alien Astronauts bullshit) and speak out against this obvious publicity stunt.
https://reddit.com/r/UFOs/comments/1rxnr3/mexican_govt_releases_proof_of_et_contact_with/

Yes he could be right for number two, it does seem like a fabrication, but what of the other 9?

turning a blind eye to something and not speaking out for the sake of peace or to avoid pettiness is deception in itself. If you think all marriages do not experience this in one way or the other then you are the one not accepting reality.

A woman walks to her husband naked and asks him if he thinks she is fat. He knows she has definitely added on some pounds esp after delivery of thier three kids but he nevertheless smiles, kisses her and says "No dear, you're as sexy as the day I met you."

Thats deception and a blatant lie.
But he says it anyway becasue he loves her and doesnt want to hurt her feelings.
She knows this but believes the lie anyway and loves him the more for it.

LordReed:
Your op is not reality. Your op is trying to use exaggeration to prove a point. It's a miserable marriage if the spouses are turning blind eyes to deception. Of course we turn blind eyes to many things in marriage but please deception is not one of them.

If you think being gay is cool you should investigate the situation by reading a well developed book called "The AIDS cover up", published in the early 1980s. It will change your mind and turn your stomach.

For those of you not well read (you know, books) or highly uneducated, the disease was originally named GRIDS, Gay Related Immunodeficiency Syndrome, because homosexual men were the cause and carrier, but was changed to AIDS due to extreme political pressure on the scientists.

If you still think its cool, ask yourself why a certain organ prolapses and stops functioning.

If you still think its cool, ask yourself why a man would need to wear a sanitary napkin.

"The things they do should not even be discussed"

If you think being gay is cool you should investigate the situation by reading a well developed book called "The AIDS cover up", published in the early 1980s. It will change your mind and turn your stomach.

For those of you not well read (you know, books) or highly uneducated, the disease was originally named GRIDS, Gay Related Immunodeficiency Syndrome, because homosexual men were the cause and carrier, but was changed to AIDS due to extreme political pressure on the scientists.

If you still think its cool, ask yourself why a certain organ prolapses and stops functioning.

If you still think its cool, ask yourself why a man would need to wear a sanitary napkin.

"The things they do should not even be discussed"

If you think homosexuality is cool you should investigate the situation by reading a well developed book called "The AIDS cover up", published in the early 1980s. It will change your mind and turn your stomach.

For those of you not well read (you know, books) or highly uneducated, the disease was originally named GRIDS, Gay Related Immunodeficiency Syndrome, because homosexual men were the cause and carrier, but was changed to AIDS due to extreme political pressure on the scientists.

If you still think its cool, ask yourself why a certain organ prolapses and stops functioning.

If you still think its cool, ask yourself why a man would need to wear a sanitary napkin.

"The things they do should not even be discussed"

If you think homosexuality is cool you should investigate the situation by reading a well developed book called "The AIDS cover up", published in the early 1980s. It will change your mind and turn your stomach.

For those of you not well read (you know, books) or highly uneducated, the disease was originally named GRIDS, Gay Related Immunodeficiency Syndrome, because homosexual men were the cause and carrier, but was changed to AIDS due to extreme political pressure on the scientists.

If you still think its cool, ask yourself why a certain organ prolapses and stops functioning.

If you still think its cool, ask yourself why a man would need to wear a sanitary napkin.

"The things they do should not even be discussed"

couldnt read it to the end...threw up half way.

OriEyeLe:
there's this girl that loves me, my parents know her, she's very good tho, but i don't have any feelings for her, my parents persuading me to marry her, but she's a lady i control a lot, if i say shut up, she will. now my question is 1. is it good to marry a girl that loves me and i don't. 2. i feel like a woman must not always be a 'yes wife'. she trying her best to make me love her. but is it advisable for me to marry a girl that loves me and i don't?

You dont have any feelings for her...so why are you considering marrying her?
Do you know marriage is supposed to be for life?
Do you really want to spend the next 50yrs with this woman?
Do you really want her to be the mother of your children?
Think about it, tomorrow she may stop loving you and turn around to blame you for marrying her.
she might even hate you.
If you dont love her, if you have no feelings for her, don't marry her.

TV01:
Go young, young man, go young II


Do chores all you want, but they don’t enhance your status in lieu of the big ticket items. If you lose yourself in her emotions, she will punish you for her feelings.

TV

Truth.

Spicylate:
To be very candid, I owe you not the explanation. This topic I discuss not. Sorry

Mustabeen pretty bad...

Short beauty

Na wa o

hahn:
Do you mean that post where you were lamenting? No, thank you

Where was I lamenting?