₦airaland Forum

I.Joan:
So, what are you fighting for? Because we already have equal rights!

you keep repeating the same thing over and over again when she has already answered you many times. feminism is an ideology.
why are you christian? and why would you spend time arguing against atheist?
that is the same reasons feminists spend time to argue against anti-feminists like you.
these are ideological debates.

if you want an answer again. USA does not have as much equal rights for both sexes as scandinavian countries do. ICELAND is #1 for gender equality. the goal for feminism in America is to have that level of equal rights.
you are benefiting from feminism just by living in USA as a woman. and i'm sure you know that.

how many female coders do you know? do you think that there is room for more female coders? would you do anything to support women who want to become coders but do not know how/ receive little encouragement from society?
are you a member of any organization to support girls in STEM?
those are the kinds of things that feminists do to support gender equality.

in the 60s, they were out burning bras! they were angry. and they got their voices heard for sure! all the things they were fighting for are still relevant today. women were heavily restricted then and still are today.
roe vs wade is said to be a victory for women in 1973. yet why are we still arguing over abortion in 2013?
this is why the fight will never end. even when u gain some rights, you need to fight to protect it especially if men's mindset do not change. they will always find ways to strip those rights.
that's why mindset change is the only thing that will eliminate the need for feminism. until there exist a majority of males who believe in gender equality, i'm sorry but feminism will NOT go away.

toshmann: And nobody stops her or any other woman from keeping their maiden names. But stop bothering women who chose to take their husbands name

no one is bothering anybody. like I said, if u are a mere housewife, ur name doesn't and won't matter.what's d point?
any woman who becomes very successful will know intuitively to keep her last name and even become feminists (if she wasn't before) while climbing the ladder because she will face many sexist obstacles on her way up before she beat the odd.

fellis: I never said I am trying to change everyone. I know that is not possible, but it is possible to change some people,most people that believe women are inferior actually think so because they have being misguided with false information and lies for years, when you enlighten such people and let them know that women can also be as mentally capable as men, they tend to drop their misconceptions and change their beliefs.
The fact that some people will never change does not mean we should not try to change anyone at all.
By the way, I have not insulted anyone on this thread so far and I don't hate any of you, don't tell me about abusive or hateful feminism, that one doesn't concern me.

I completely agree.
feminists also try to enlighten others. it's not by force but that's part of it.
it's an ideology afterall.

just like any ideology like Christianity or liberalism or capitalism or what have you, it's all about mobilization.
feminists will not have success if they did not have numbers behind them.

look at the KOMEN video I posted for example. enough women withdrew their support for the organization so much that KOMEN now have to cancel their walks. shocking!!! I bet they thought they had women in their pockets the could do whatever they want.

i've even seen some children who grow older and change their last name to their mother's last name just because the mother was the more famous or successful parent. the name creates an association that helps them.

I.Joan:
Should there be a reason why I want it?

Well, that is there choice! They are probably more bothered with things more important than the essence of the name they bear!
Why have you not changed your name to your name to your mother's which is also your grandfather's? Because it is inconsequential!

actually, a woman's last name is VERY important.
of course if she only plans on being a housewife or just having a mere job on d side then it is inconsequential.
but if she plans on having a career, then her name matters.big time!!
most women who have gone on to have very successful careers more likely than not have kept their maiden name.
if you are a professional u rely on your name and if you started out being successful before you married. u want to keep that name.

Chimamanda Adichie for example is using her maiden name. I don't see her changing it in any forseeable future. at most, she will hyphenate it.

davidylan: You go marry am?

Toshman secretly is in love with me. duh.

druid06: You're just going on in circle, you do not have a definite point and hence I can deduce you don't even know what feminism stands for. I bet you're one of those women who just read the article somewhere or a book talking about feminism and you thought it would be cool if you become one while not realising what it actually means and their values actually is.

If God so willing I have a more successful wife than I do then that means more blessing to my family and more means to create opportunities for our children. Your idea about feminism is totally different from what it actually stands for and so I would not label you one. I just think you have a problem with authority and you don't believe anyone is above you or should be on the receiving end on orders. You think you're better than everyone. Your problem is not a woman thing but your own personal problem. Probably, you grew up with a single parent most likely with your mother and you got bitter without having your father figure around.

So you grew up bitter thinking, if my mother could do this alone I could this too hating on all men and wanting to conquer us all. Babe, you need to go get professional help. Since the dawn of time, the male is usually the head, same with animals in the jungle and all that. If there's a GOD, HE created us and he gave us specific duties especially in the home. A man is always the head in the home and the wife his companion ( helper, assistant ). The woman is not below the man but like a subordinate, a helper so a woman wanting to change the circle of things either is deluding or have psyche problems.

trust me, feminism isn't cool to many people. like I said. many of those women died for the cause. they were not loved.even many women hated feminists.
but of course, I don't hang around anti-feminists so i'm not affected. but if you stand for your convictions, u will not care what people think!



of course for me, I will also have to marry a guy who belives in equal rights for men and women or else not marry at all.. i won't fake submissive to trap a man or gain male friends. I am very honest and open!! and luckily, there are many males who also believe in equal rights. although not many african ones. LOL

davidylan: I work with one... she still goes by her maiden name. Another guy i worked with chose to combine his and his wife's maiden name into one compound surname for them both. Both women are as far from feminism as you can get.

give me a public example. I cannot believe ur anecdote. u are making stuff up as far as I know.
I on the other hand can give you many examples of public feminists who keep their maiden name or combine names.

i am yet to meet an anti-feminist male who will marry a woman and allow her to keep her name. or yet let the kids use a combined name or the mother's name.

I.Joan:
And you think both would be attracted enough to each other to marry?

some women marry out of desperation u know that. then in d marriage, a woman with a strong personality will show her color.
yes society says she must be submissive to marry. women can pretend to be submissive. but in d marriage, u cannot hide ur real personality forever.
men do not have monopoly over assertiveness. a woman can be just as powerful if she has the opportunity to be.society denies women of this opportunity.

this is why feminists are real. they don't pretend just to save face. right up front u know that feminists are not going to be the submissive partner.
i'm sure chimanada;s husband married her knowing he married a genuine woman,

fellis: Jesus christ! And you actually got two likes from the men that claim to believe in gender equality.
SMH
The fact that you were trained to be the head of the family does not mean that a woman can never do the job better than you.

did you hear him?
he actually believes that he has a right to control his wife because he has been "trained from childhood to be head of household" hahahahahah I laugh in pidgin
that's the kind of husband that will come to america and kill his wife out of frustration when she doesn't behave like a submissive puppy

druid06: If feminism means taking the control of my household, my family. Then fuc-k you, fuc-k feminism.

no. you would be divorced in that case. fu-ck yourself.
just pray that your wife never gets a job where she makes more money than you. then clearly u might end up pouring acid on her and spending life in jail.

nigerian men killing their wives in america. they think they are still married to slaves
https://www.nairaland.com/154540/nigerian-man-kills-wife-st
https://www.nairaland.com/157765/nigerian-man-murders-wife-america
https://www.nairaland.com/1299965/nigerian-men-killing-wives
https://www.nairaland.com/178516/why-nigerian-men-killing-american
https://www.nairaland.com/614888/nigerian-man-shoots-wife-five
https://www.nairaland.com/485379/nigerian-americans-killing-spouses-us-1

davidylan: There are many non-feminists who bear their father's name or compound names.

depends on the culture and society.but in America, there are very very few. most who bear compound names are either feminists or divorced.

can you give me examples of married non-feminists who bear their father/ compound names?

druid06: I find it hard to believe there is a woman that has more "leadership" skill than I do except she's a dude (LOL). I was trained to be the head of the family from a very young age as I followed my father's footstep and learned grately from him so I find it hard to believe that there would be a woman with more guardian skills than I do and head the home better than I do except I am an invalid.

I can not take the name of my wife because adopting her name would mean I am adopting her fathers name. I am not getting married into her family, she's the one getting married into mine though if she want's to keep her father's name, I am cool with it so far our children keeps mine.

this is what people mean when they say that a woman (or black) has beat the odds and risen above. clearly she must have MUCH MORE leadership skill than you if she can be a leader despite the fact that she wasn't given the same opportunity as you were due to the sexist misogynist society.

women are oppressed in society and you yourself have just admitted it. right from a young age, society tells them to take a subordinate position and all their leadership potential is being snuffed out of them.

I don't know how you plan on raising your daughters [if you (will) have any] but if you want to do them a favor, raise them to be leaders.

I.Joan:
but I am gonna bear a compound name because I like it...it's my choice!

that's what a lot of feminists do as well.
it's what I also plan to do.

CAMEROONPRIDE: Keep switching .from Africa to America. I only hope your next stop is in Saudi Arabia, I beg you don't deceive the women living there they are waiting for you, the only problem is I really don't think men living over there will let you spitting trash the way we did .

feminism pertains to all women. regardness of color. I focus mostly on blacks (someone here has accused me of focusing on blacks) and now when I include whites, I still get attacked.
abeg go and sit down.
there are black women in America too. I am a black nigerian woman living in America. woman being the keyword
feminism is about women's rights afterall

I will talk about saudi arabia too when I feel like it. feminism is a global issue. scandinavian countries are on top of the world in terms of equal gender rights. nothing is perfect but that is what I am aiming for.
@Joan, I hope this partially also answers ur question when you ask what feminists want.

fellis: So you are saying women can lead their husbands in the house? Good, thanks for answering.
Assuming a woman leads a man in his house do you think the man will be respected by his peers or do you think he will be ridiculed and reffered as an effeminate man for letting his wife lead him? Let's assume the couple lives in Africa.

I am waiting for biola and toshmann to answer before I mention the reason why I asked.

LOL. I am waiting as well. esp since this is the main reason that is being cited for high divorce rates. men unwilling to relinquish power even though many women are contributing just as much or almost just as much financially to the home as the men.
again, like I said, thing are changing with white families. not so much among blacks.

heard many a story of nigerian men especially killing their wives after they come to the USA and the wife gets a job and starts making more money than her husband. the controlling egocentric husband still think he is still in Nigeria and can abuse his wife as he wants

I.Joan:
You keep giving me different labels...


What rights do you want? ? ? ?

black music needs to be wiped clean of its misogynistic content
sexu.al and physical violence against women need to DROP. the law is there yet the violence persist partially due to a culture that promotes violence against women through music and entertainment.

let's start with that. do you agree or disagree?

women aren't stupid. majority of women in USA are actually feminist. at about almost 60%.
an even larger majority are democrats. while the concentration of the anti-feminist women are republican.
this is why when sexist politics get into women issues, women are not so stupid as not to see it. in this case, women voted with their legs. literally!!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLBKAS_AeBM

Online feminist activists scored an impressive victory on Tuesday when Facebook formally responded to the joint coalition between Women, Action & the Media, Everyday Sexism, and activist Soraya Chemaly, requesting that Facebook “take concrete, effective action to end gender-based hate speech on its site.” The social media effort resulted in over 60,000 tweets and 5,000 emails to advertisers, imploring them to boycott Facebook unless Facebook agreed to change their policies around images and language of gender-based violence and hate speech.

For all intents and purposes, the campaign seems to have worked, as Facebook made a public statement agreeing to review and update their guidelines on appropriate content and a vow to work directly with coalition of feminist activists who created this campaign, among other specifics. This response is proof of the power that grassroots activist efforts have. Online feminists have scored similar victories in their collective response to last year’s debacle in which the Susan G. Komen Foundation announced plans to defund Planned Parenthood, a decision they quickly reversed in light of fierce online backlash, much of which was led by feminist activists. Facebook’s commitment to change is another feather in the cap of online feminists.

fellis: For heaven's sake, did nobody see my questions? Abi am I not important like Ijoan?

Anyway I want the men on this thread to please answer this question;

good question, mate

biolabee: Fresh...

You registered a new id to insult people
Is davidy your target

Wats ur mission

at least she/he has not targeted you.
wonder why "insult" is your new word of the day.
even posting a smiley face has become an insult to this weenie.

when a man says "get back to the kitchen"
they are saying it thanks to the many women anti-feminists who said that they enjoyed being in the kitchen. as a result women who didn't were all of a sudden the radical women who should be hated.

you talk about how you are proud of 60s feminist. u did not realize that 60s feminists were hated. and the picture below show the kind of woman the men used as evident for why women should not have careers. you call yourself a coder. I wonder if you would call yourself an anti-feminist coder in the 50s

[img]http://3.bp..com/_hek7hKOiBvY/TFuYDmHns1I/AAAAAAAAADA/LdX7Qp0X_tg/s320/01324.jpg[/img]

IJOAN, I see you are proud to be the anti-feminist hero. the person woman haters will point out as proof that women don't want rights. nice job!!

again, the house slave is a worse obstacle to the field slave than the slave master himself.

I.Joan:
Sis!
I have to mention this again.... NO ONE WILL TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY IF YOU HURL INSULTS !
Not everyone will have the same mentality as you!
I respect your hustle as you should respect mine... I'm just saying your hustle has lost its meaning and is absolutely unnecessary here!

well, maybe you need to also not hurl insults yourself. your first post toward me was "lonely feminist. get a dog!!"
if that's not an insult I don't know what is.
maybe u should go and grow thick skin if you cannot stand to be rebuffed because I have not even insulted you once! now what if I insult you the way you insult me, will u start crying?
pls grow up!!

of course you don't have the same mentality as me. that's why this topic is a way to DEBATE. if you can't support your arguments then don't post it. I see holes in the arguments you make and I point them out. if you take that as an insult, then maybe you should not be here in the first place. I will not exchange insult with you. that's for sure.

also, if you are not sure if what I said is insultive, check google and do a search. ex the "trojan horse" metaphor that you took ignorantly as an insult. your friends have been defending you quite well so far, so might as well, just sit back and let them do the posting when you get back to coding.

druid06: @99cent and Miscellaneous. You guys are showoffs. Most definitely you're one and the same person. I bet you just knew the meaning of misogynist and you both decided to use this against your rivals as a way to prove about your ''intelligence''. And you call yourselves educated... Pathetic!

druid, druid, druid, how many times did I call you?
stop making senseless stuff up and posting randomly like a fool.
enough of your insults and accusations.
also, stop embarrassing yourself. are you done preparing the list of 1000 female CEOs and Presidents that you mentioned earlier were ruling the world?? the feminist Illuminati that you talk about? where is the list? I am still waiting.

CAMEROONPRIDE: I.Joan I salute. Thanks the Gods women like c.four are a minority. And the plan of action stops on Nl.

LOL. if you live in the USA like I do then you should be shaking in ur pants.
the short term goal is to get USA to have gender equality much like iceland does!

if u don't like it, start saving up for a plane ticket to move to saudi arabia!

biolabee: Im interested in this question

feminism is an ideology.
there isn't currently any feminist wave at the moment. u don't see women going out in the streets fighting for rights.
although they are doing so and taking one case at a time

here is an example:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/26/texas-abortion-bill_n_3501005.html

same way you have anti-racists. but there isn't any black civil rights movement going on at the moment. which is not equal to say that an anti-racist ideology doesn't exist.

unless you don't know what ideology means and need me to explain that to you?

davidylan: I find it interesting how you completely avoided her rational response only to hurl insults at her. If this is the new feminism then i'm not surprised reasonable women like her avoid it like the plague.

please help me point out the rational in it because i do not see it.
seems like u might be better at interpreting her post for sense.

she probably don't even know what 60s feminism means for her to make the claim she did

I.Joan:
Feminism lost its meaning along the way!...
If I was an adult in the 60's I would have fought for women's rights because it made sense then and it was a just cause with a well defined meaning!
But now, what exactly are you fighting for?
But now... It's all garbage!!!
Nothing is stopping any woman from doing anything she wants to do now! So, what are you actually fighting for?

Hhahahaha. Again, you just showed us another side of your ignorance. the 60s feminism is actually the most hated of all feminism today!
today's feminists are very mild by comparison.
ever heard of gloria steinem? they were fighting for women's rights in the HOME. what more way can u piss men off!!! men who feel that the home is the place they have control over.
of course the first wave feminists of the beginning of the 20th century were also morbidly hated in their time.

I love how people start to talk nostalgically about things that have passed. yet when similar things are going on right under their nose, they pretend not to see it. rubbish.

I.Joan:
Why associate with something that is unnecessary?
Most people are indifferent to feminism (and not necessarily anti-feminists) because what you claim to fight for is not necessary here...
Both men and women have equal rights in my environment!

Oh, lest I forget, if you want to look at a place that supports equal gender rights even more than USA, then look at the Scandinavian countries, especially Iceland.
they also have the best education and health care system in the world too! just so you can tell that children benefit a ton also from women having equal rights.

biolabee: Ouch!,
Afghanistan is not a bad place

they don't have feminism there. it's a great place for your kind