₦airaland Forum

malcom1X:
It is disrespectful to ask a guy what he does for a living.

She wants a rich man because she knows how unrealistic it is for her to get rich herself. The life she aspires for relies on someone else getting their life together and choosing her average self as a partner

healthserve:
Stop using people. Be better. Stop taking people for a ride with your emotional recklessness


Use and discard. Passive Narcissistic personality disorder. Go see a therapist. You're a destroyer


You also have an over-inflated ego. The world doesn't revolve around you. And No, you're not too good for everyone.


You're an egomaniac that exists for feel-good vibes only with a detached feeling from regular existence. Go see a therapist. You're pathetic

Beosten:
What you have to understand is that if you see someone with these credentials, he must have used and dumped a lot of women before you met him. I grew up with a very poor grandfather, and still, I had two girls who were ready to be mine right from secondary school days. Another two women in the university fought each other to a standstill just to have me because they thought I have good future. I married none of the four. I spent 80% of salary from my first big job on a girl by paying her school fees. She ended up leaving me. I married someone who didn't collect Kobo from me before marriage, and I had no job when I married her. Today, I have 3 sources of income.

My advice for you is that you should drop this mentality of listing credentials upandan. If you can, believe God to help in this aspect; not by becoming a church goer, but by chasing righteousness.

Harlequeen:
I opened this account because my main one is pretty popular.

I've had this issue and don't know what's wrong.
I can't seem to get into a new relationship. I am now 25, about serving, working a normal job

My dating history is not too rich. I dated just one guy for 2 years, i became sexually active with him, we enjoyed each other, but things didn't work out. I tried to be better, have moved on, and he has too. This was mid last year. I have been celibate since then not because i don't like sex, but because i had time to think, i read a lot of books, listened to a lot of relationship counselors on YouTube, reddit, Nairaland and so on. I decided to approach dating differently, with my head and not my heart . i would vet men out who were not in line with some basic standards, to avoid fuckboys and meet high quality men. He should be well spoken, either with a career or into trade, accomplished, way older by at least 10 yrs(no i don't have daddy issues, i just like mature guys because i think like a mature person) he could also have plans to leave the country, because i plan to do that also.


Here's the issue, the men that express interest in me do not fit this criteria. They seem to have no plan for their lives. I get this impression that they are broke, they recycle the same lines all the time, i usually see their bull sh1t tactics a mile away. some are in the army(i can't date men in the armed forces, they lifestyle is not what i want for myself, cannot date doctors either for the same reason)others are artisans, some are plain hustlers who just do whatever to eat. I have a soft spot for ambitious men, and i have not seen a lot in the area that i am in. I have been advised by my friends to try highbrow areas like lekki or VI or go to church, but i don't believe in religion.

But whenever i see these men, i am not attracted to them. I have even tried online dating with some male nairalanders, but i get disinterested easily. I get turned off when someone asks for my normal pics, it is quite frustrating. There's that fear that some of these men could use my pics to masturbate or one other creepy purpose. I block them if they ask for nudes. But the issue is, it is quite exhausting to keep chatting with someone without seeing them in person and some of these guys just want to smash and run which i won't allow. No man will have access to my vagina and womb without investment and commitment. Eventually it becomes hard to keep up communication and we just fizzle out like that.

I am not under pressure to marry from my parents, infact my dad says he won't allow his daughters marry until they clock 28 and i am the first. He wants us to have a career and a life before moving with a man. I just want to know if what i am doing is right?

To be honest, i just want some words of advice and encouragement, you can ask me questions if you want. This approach of mine? Is it the right thing? Am i being too smart for my own good? Am i afraid of commitment?

ibx1976:
My good people I am in a bit of a situation here and would like to hear from the community. I have lived the last few years in the UK and can say I am in a reasonably "settled" place in my life except for one thing: I don't have a wife and I am getting old!.

For the last few years, going by people's advice I thought it was best to cultivate a relationship here with someone here in the UK, learn about them and settle.

It has not worked out for me. Maybe its my luck, it has not quite worked with me with the ladies over here. I always end up with someone diametrically opposite to my goals and aspirations. The idea of marrying an Oyibo is even worse - things just did not work out in that direction either.

To compound the problem, I my job does not allow me much of a social life. I just cant make it happen without help.

On a friend's advice, I have been invited to come back home to naija and see how things can work out. I have therefore taken a months leave and am headed home for the next 1 month. Our plan is to visit a few good families and places to see if anything can materialise from that.

My people any advice on this? If you were in my shoes, how will you conduct this affair. What will you look out for. What will you avoid.

Lleigh:
I know you are trying to make a point ...but all capitals.

seizethaBae:
I don't even know where to start or how to explain what my problem is, hopefully i get lucky for the 'problem' to be 'diagnosed'. I'm a 27yrs old lady, finished university very very early and i've been extremely lucky with almost everything in life, but to get a suitor and settle down na palava. Friends/family members keep saying I'm too choosy or not serious.

Honestly, I AM NOT choosy. When the one thing i fast/pray for is for God to link me with the bone of my bone very soon, I even gave up my travelling plans in order to increase my chances of finding a future patner (i know you can meet ur patner anywhere, but na just to shut up people wey don tink say i no dey serious), a close friend even suggested i pend my 'work-from-home business', look for job so i can be leaving the house, and i got lucky within a month or two of dusting my CV i got a fantastic high paid job with no connection (honestly i've always been so lucky when i ask God for anything but i have no idea why he is delaying this). I just dont know how to explain it, the ones i like doesnt like me and the ones i dont have single feelings for will do anything to wife me. I'm not desperate or something, i just want to reach out if I'm the only one having this problem.

There was even a time i made up my mind to accept an ex proposal even tho i have no single feeling for him, i kept hoping/fasting/praying for a miracle to happen so i can at least like him (even if its 20%) bcus hes just too PERFECT, but it didn't just happen. My type of man doesnt need to be extremely rich, tall, handsome like most ladies dream man. He should just be neat, God fearing and have something upstairs biko (i love intelligent guys). Back to the main reason why i created this post; Married women/mature lady out there, has this ever happen to you? I really envy people that love their partners and they are loved back equally. Married women, please, I'm waiting to hear from you.

And for most people that will think I'm looking for a rich guy, believe me i once met a guy that was willing to sponsor my M.Sc in UK if i can be his Mrs, but i will never engage in anything that will bring curse on my head. So my problem is not even money. I'm so sick and tired

Laido:
.

Why was this not affecting them those days? Abi nah these days the itchin start? Bro, I can't lie you, don't believe everything u see or hear, real eyes realise real lies. I'm a Genetic student. Even if you start having sex, it doesn't stop the itchin! Iv seen many mothers itchin codedly their Toto. I would rather blame the girls less. I would rather blame it on Civilization. The Dis-advantages is much more than the Advantages on the ladies. And that's what Feminism is all about. Ladies are suffering from everything Men created. I do feel for them o. Although, Naturally and abnormally, some ladies appears to be wild due to some other reasons!

Laido:
.

Why was this not affecting them those days? Abi nah these days the itchin start? Bro, I can't lie you, don't believe everything u see or hear, real eyes realise real lies. I'm a Genetic student. Even if you start having sex, it doesn't stop the itchin! Iv seen many mothers itchin codedly their Toto. I would rather blame the girls less. I would rather blame it on Civilization. The Dis-advantages is much more than the Advantages on the ladies. And that's what Feminism is all about. Ladies are suffering from everything Men created. I do feel for them o. Although, Naturally and abnormally, some ladies appears to be wild due to some other reasons!

ADBOK:
A genetic research by a group of medical scientists revealed the presence of a gene on the X-Chromosome which codes for a protein called Oboyundin responsible for inducing a 'itchy' vagina seeking the 'scratch'. The presence of this gene on the two XX-chromosomes present in women is culprit in their unnatural sex drive, which is complemented for in males due to the one X-chromosome present...

Oahray:
lol. Spoiling for a fight? Don't even bother. You no go reach me chew.

Oahray:
there's nothing insulting there, almost everyone has a family but only a few include a genius. Take it personal if you wish though... It's your wrap of suya and I don't care to share it with you.

If one thinks something is commonplace, it's cos he's seen so much of it. A 5.0 CGPA isn't as trivial as he's trying to make it seem, at least not in Nigeria.

You can argue against a national award without having to trivialize remarkable excellence. It's the only ish I have with it.

Oahray:
You do have a point, but you seem to be subtly arguing that it isn't worth the recognition. Maybe that's not what you meant but that's how it sounds.

I had to do a double take at "he is not the first and he won't be the last."

Pray tell... Who in your family, nuclear or extended, dead or alive, has ever gotten a 5.0 CGPA from a Federal University?

If there isn't, check your neighbour's family.

If there isn't, shut the hell up!

joborskill:
The igbo elders need to respect the culture of the north. Even though i condemn kidnapping of people, it is wrong to demand for arrest of a whole emir. They should be careful cos no one mess with the north and go scott free.

TheTransformer:
Dwayne Johnson has made millions of dollars because of his muscles... his last movie Hercules was a box office hit.... Dwayne Johnson is "the rock" from WWE (wrestling)... Should i mention more?

TheTransformer:
ready for what exactly?

TheTransformer:
ready for what exactly?

TheTransformer:
Arnold Schwargeneger.... muscles feed him and later made him a hollywood star.

Vinshu:
Oh yes, i can fend for myself because i am an entrepreneur. (If you know what that means)

Better go out there and pass along your CV(If you have any) to get a better paying job and have a life. Not wasting away

Specialbaby:
life has evolve the stage of sitting down and waiting for a guy and shitting babes out like watery stool,majority of ladies these days are making plans on how to better their lot and making headways but that not withstanding,no sensible and focus lady will settle for a guy with the future sha be bright mentality!


If i am working and toiling to better my self,what prevented the guy from doing so?see ehn,poverty is a curse,try being broke and you will hate your existence!

plaetton:
Shut up and face the challenges of leadership.

True leaders are fashioned and honed in the firery cauldrons of great challenges and disasters.

Enough of this Cry Baby nonsense.

If you are not up to the challenge, kindly do the honourable thing and step aside.

Who are the elites?

Are you not part of the elites?
We're you not the one that destroyed our second republic democracy with your inordinate ambition ?

Since you committed treason against the Nigerian state in 1983, has anything in Nigeria gotten better ?

Just shut up , stop the juvenile blame game and get to work on what Nigerians elected you to do.

Favolly:
Nna, As much as I feel for you and your siblings, this isn't the time to be on social media trying to explain the difference between drunk driving and reckless/dangerous driving.

More importantly, you do not tell people “So please put your conspiracies aside...” It sounds impolite and if anything, it will aggravate readers rather than generate the empathy you seek from them because it comes across like you are accusing rather than pleading for empathy. Personally, I couldn't read past that sentence, it was off-putting.

This matter isn't personal. It's the law. The law may forgive but it also punishes and that's just the way it works. No one should be above it. As a UK trained graduate, I expect that you respect the law. Stop infuriating anger in the public over you mum's situation

goldbim:
Eeyah,quite emotional,sweerie..but sorry,the law must be respected..the deceased too has kids that loved him before your mum accidentally hit him..so,let justice prevail..@least you 'l have access to see her in prison..but the deceased kids 'll never see their dad,anymore..let justice prevail,sweetheart.you and your siblings 'll be fine..

dammytosh:
Oya go forward, bring back Jonathan.
Odeee.