₦airaland Forum

phransix2:
Obubra Cross River is where I camped, lovely place, the red soil and dust dealt with my Air force One Sneakers, One Touch the laundry guy really came through for me. Shout out to him... I chop fufu and Afang tire... I got redeployed to Ibadan... The journey from Obubra to Calabar no be here mehn...

Great to hear that. That's my place of origin.

Mynd44:
I have heard Nigerians use "bride Price" and "Dowry" interchangeably and they seem to think they are the same. People just assume the bride price is the dowry or that they mean the same thing but this is a wrong assumption.

I knew this in Social Studies when I was in Primary 5 and it shocks me when people who I think went to school around the same time (not the current era where I don't understand the curriculum) make the same mistake. Perhaps people just think because they are both possessions and gifts exchanged around the time of a wedding they mean the same but nah. They are very distinct things.

So here is the major difference



From the definition above

1. Bride Price is given to the family of the bride by the groom and/or his family and this is mostly set by the Bride's Family.

2. Dowry is the property or money given to the bride by her family when she marries and she takes these things to her marital home.

In some cultures, Dowries cannot be sold by the couple as it is wealth that passes through only the female line so only the bride's daughter can inherit them. Thats why you see where some families have jewelry that their great grandmother used and a female descendant still wears it. It can even be shares of a company etc.

There has been cases in India and Northern Nigeria called "Dowry theft" in these cases, they grooms family (mostly committed by the groom's family) tries to convert the properties of the bride and steal them. I know India had to pass legislation against it. Sometimes, the husband himself tries to steal these possessions.

Note also that in a divorce, the husband cannot lay claim to the dowry as these are personal gifts and are mostly acquired before marriage so are outside the purview of shared items.

In Nigeria, dowries can include, Kitchenware, livestock, land, jewelry and in some parts of the north, the father actually buys furniture.

Note that Dowry is not wedding gifts given to the couple. These are gifts for the two of them.

. Wonderful piece. Quite educative & informative.God bless you OP

iLegendd:
So, what's the best way to handle it? I already have what to do, but I want to hear yours.

Tell him politely that adultery is dangerous for him& his family as it affects him spiritually, physically & financially.

[quote author=Lanrelagboi post=130598682][/quote]what you did is exactly the right thing. My daughter started school at age 3 & she is doing amazing things.

DoWhatThouWilt:
Do they?

I love and enjoy my current state of bachelorhood and honestly I do not have the desire to get married now or in future because personally I have come to the realisation that men are living in a world today where there are too many impossible expectations to meet.

Recently, I have been noticing subtle hints of envy from my colleagues at work who are married just from the statements they make.

For example, they usually try to belittle me with statements like You're still a small boy, you don put woman for house? whenever we are having non heated argument over a topic that doesn't even concern marriage in anyway.

When it is their turn to work for some few hours on weekends they make statements like Men like us no suppose they do duty, na una (single men) suppose do am as if I don't have other affairs to attend to during the weekend.

So married men in the House, Do you people envy single men?

https://ainhypho.sirv.com/avif/misery.gif

https://ainhypho.sirv.com/avif/peace.gif

I am married. I don't envy them at all.

scholes23:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nV8aLWPHYMw?si=TcRFt6nglT4RDUwk



https://dailytrust.com/its-only-in-madonna-university-that-girls-graduate-as-virgins-founder/

This is no true. I married a virgin. She is a graduate. She served her fatherland & returned intact. She never attended Madonna university.

Nigeria wasn't designed to attain greatness! [May be you're right. It's unthinkable our leaders are this callous. People who were elected to make Nigeria better are the ones making Nigeria worse by the day. What an irony!

This is absolutely wrong & unscriptural to encourage someone to keep his multiple wives. After genuine experience of salvation, a man is expected to correct all the wrongs in his life including multiple wives except the first wife. The same applies to women too. Read John 4: 16-18. Christ condermns it in clear terms.

He is heading to Algeria. He has been offered $90,000 a month to manage their national team. All the best to him.

It was England V Nigeria.
England 1: 2 Nigeria

omoharry:
I had an argument with a friend who told me she and her husband have no problem undressing completely in the presence of thier 10 and 7 years old children ( A boy and a girl ) and they see no problem walking around the house in that state .They are base in the UK and she is surprised I am against it ..they believe with thier style of parenting Thier children would easily be aware of the changes in their body when they attain puberty .

I am not really cool with this and I believe children can be made to understand their bodies still when they attain puberty without parents exposing themselves completely naked in front of them, especially when they are above 4 years old and they are beginning to understand Thier environment. Maybe I am too conservative about this but I would like to hear from you ..

So, guys , at what age do you stop exposing your unclothedness before your kids ?

It's absolutely wrong.

ADURA123:
Good evening fellow NL members,
My story may be long but pls endeavor to read to the end so that you can make proper suggestions or advice.

I have been married for more than 10yrs now with beautiful kids, my marriage is one that many Young guy will wish to have, but along the the line I don't know what happened things begin to nose dive. In the last 6yrs I discovered that I struggle to make love to my wife, she will either tell you ohh, she is tire or she don't like sex much..this I have endured for all this years with no cheating.
Her qualities are
She can cook
She can keep the house clean
She can manage resources
And she is accommodating to my people
In all this years I have never cheated on her, proudly saying it coz my dad warned me of cheating on my wife rather I should divorce her and go for another wife.

My qualities are
I work and earn like about 700k net a month.
I give feeding allowance and personal total of 100k a month while I invest the rest on a project which she is aware of.
I don't drink or smoke
I don't keep late night
and I am the best friend to her and my kids.
Honestly having talk to her for over 5yrs on this issues of love making and she refused to change, then I have decided to yield to my dad advice and ask her to leave...she is not aware of this plan, but trust me it will hit her.
I allow her to do little job to have her own finance is not as if she contribute anything in the house, but she is claiming stubborn, I love her so much, it will hurt me to cheat on her, something I have not done since I got married to her.
I plan moving to a new place in February, and she doesn't fit into my plans.

My decision between now and December is
1 Avoid asking her for lobe making
2 Continue taking care of her so she won't suspect anything
3 when she comes close I avoid her.
4 February I issues divorce papers and give her like 1m to go get her life back

Is there anything more I can do for her?
Advice me pls...

Divorce is the best option my brother. Since sex is the issue, you can fix it easily. Use love terms of her consistently, tell her is special, wonderful, cute & everything. That you count yourself blessed to be her husband. Tell her she is a special package,that if she could factor sex into her many duties to you she will become the complete package. Women are like babies, they are turned on by praises or compliments. Don't go for divorce my brother. This challenge will be over soon& you will enjoy your wife again.

He should be apolosing to Obi for not meticulous enough in his petition rather than berating the judiciary. How would you alleged votes suppression without being specific?

You met her & in two weeks you were talked into marriage without proper background check? wow! Two wrongs can't. a right. Forgive her, encourage her to go to school & build a future for herself & the family. Divorce is never the way forward as it's not right in the sight of God, and above all, you both need Jesus in your life. It's simple. ABC, Accept, believe & confess& you're there.

Xclusiveme:
Have u been to Hell b4

The Bible is clear about it. Read Matthew 5:22, Mathew 23:33, Revelation 15: 20. If you reject His Mercy here on Earth. You cannot escape the misery of hellfire. Don't adopt the bogus notion of " wait-and- see"It's dangerous. Hellfire is reall my brother.

A touching story indeed especially now that material wealth decides the direction of most women"s affection & loyalty. Is like women born on 26th are a special breed. My wife birthday is 26th too. I met her virgin. She is completely down to earth. A true definition of virtuous woman. Happy birthday to you! You're a lady of class, poised & decorum

The heat in hell fire is a billion times higher & hotter than this. No water, no food, no fan. no rest day and night. Make your preparation for heaven today through repentance & avoid hellfire

It's not easy really. I am heading an organization. They said I am too to be heading the place. The sure bet against this attacks is a sound relationship with God, holy living & being prayerful.

What does it really mean to love the Lord your God? Here is what it means:
L... learn His ways
O..... obey His word
V ..... verify His will
E.......eshew worldliness
May God help us to love Him dearly & follow Him closely. Amen!

Salvation is the greatest gift to humanity from a loving God. It's made possible through the vicarious death of Jesus Christ on the cross. Here is the ABC of salvation:
A... accept you are a sinner ... Romans 3: 23
B... Believe Jesus died for you.... Romans 10:9
C... confess your sins to Him& not to a priest or pastor.... 1 John 1: 9.
Salvation is all yours if you follow those simple steps. If heaven is your goal after life here on Earth---salvation is a must. Jesus for your choice is waiting!

I'm afraid! This may ruin your friendship if he can't pay when you want it back. By the way, does he have a genuine means of making income? If yes, you can give him& if no. you know the answer. Don't!

Never, never do it. Your destiny may never be same again. Trust God to come to your help.

NNEWIsuper:
its only in cross River you will see humans eating their fellow , same cross River uses their wives to entertain visitors, same cross River indigenes are used as maids all over the country, same cross River indigenes have been suffering over bakassi (they're neither regarded as Nigerians or Cameroonians)

same cross River fights Abia state in Arochukwu boundary
same cross River fights Akwa ibom in Akwa boundary

and now same cross River is this aggressive against the peace loving igbos in Ebonyi

Not as if they don't have landmass oo...infact Cross river is as large as Ebonyi, Enugu and Abia states combined yet they fight like illiterates

for your information a village in Cross river has a language for men different from their women...so how could a people so different like that have sympathy for others?

its very obvious that Cross river state is cursed...cross River doesn't belong to Nigeri a, they're Cameroonians

. You're not well informed at all. 95% of your quote is falsehood.

It's very possible my dear. I wedded less than three months ago. I married her as a virgin. stay away from men. Focus on your future, build a career for yourself. your husband will come at right time. He will cherish you forever

Don't follow this woman please. She is teaching falsehood & in the process leading her audience to eternal doom. Tattoo is never for true Christians. There must be a clear distinction between he / her that is in Christ & who is not.

Leaving the Church can't be the way out. From your story, you don't have salvation & your aim is not heaven. Is your father Jesus Christ? Jesus is our perfect example. Please get saved & stay with Jesus for your good here & hereafter

If Nigeria must join the elite nations, Donald Duke is the man. He has the aura of charisma to pull the strings at the top

Pertinent question indeed! Christmas is from mystery Babylon and do you know what Babylon represent? Religion without righteousness. The best way to celebrate Christ is by accepting Him as your personal Lord and Saviour.

Thanks OP. Lest us get it right. There are 22 doctrines(cardinal teachings) in the Bible like The holy Bible, justification, total human depravity, sanctification, repentance, restitution, evangelism, rapture, marriage, heaven, hell, redemption & healing etc. Pastor Kumuyi will never correct or remove any of the doctrines. The only thing he corrects are certain church principles he introduced for easy administration of the church. Be guided!

No, you don't have God at all. You need Jesus. Jesus is the only way to God. Remember Demas. 2Timothy 4:10

May God have mercy on you. I'm a very happy member of deeper life and I have a very sound mind. Deeper life shows you the acceptable way to serve God and leaves the choice with you. We only respect and love pastor Kumuyi as a servant of God. The devil is using you to blackmail the church but it can't work. If deeper life is of God, no man can destroy or blackmail it. I have been in deeper life for about 20 years. All you are saying is false . Repent now for your good in eternity.

You are lucky the guy and your wife are miles apart. Cheated on her before, but you lied to resolved and she did but admit it and begged over and over and you can't forgive her? Don't give the devil a chance to destroy your home. The only choice you have which is acceptable with God is to forgive her and forget it.