₦airaland Forum

AroOkigbo:
So for every SS, she aborts!
Your child? Your blood?
Una sabi get mind oh

12345baba:
am one of the best to advice u on this, from experience

Blake755:
Please what is pdg I would love to know more about it

Bishopsgate:
Bros...I am one in a marriage of 11 years with 2 kids, one of which is SS.

All this testing crap seems so simple now that you're only talking about it. Wait till you get into it; then you'll understand what you've gotten yourself into.

All the physical, medical & mental risks would be taken by the woman you claim to love so dearly.

Don't be SELFISH. It's NOT WORTH IT.

Find another LOVE!

Biglittlelois:
Stories like this annoys me to my bone

It is easy for men to damn consequences because they will not be the one to carry the whole burden so I have no words for you, it is your fiancee I have words for,

Does she know what it entails to get pregnant, keep it for 4 to 5 months, before testing to see if it is SS or not? Or you think the test will be done at one month? Does she know what it means to abort a growing child? The pains? How long will she keep doing that before AS or AA clicks? Does she know how it is to keep getting pregnant every year, the stress of her womb, uterus, and "something lining wall" due to constant evacuation?

Both of you are not matured enough to get married, love with your head, let your heart be secondary.

MuslimIgbo:
For all rubbish you'll hear here because, 99% will advise you to end the relationship, BUT WE'RE NO LONGER IN STONE AGE. THERE ARE MANY OPTIONS YOU COUPLE CAN EXPLORE IF YOU CAN AFFORD IT.

PRENATAL DIAGNOSIS
IVF
BONE-MARROW TRANSPLANT
LASTLY, ADOPTION.
THIS PRICE COULD RANGE FROM 400K TO 5M.

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS, IS YOUR GIRL WORTH THE EFFORT, ENERGY AND SACRIFICE?
DO YOU TRUST HER?
IS SHE LOYAL?
CAN SHE SWEAR THAT SINCE BOTH OF YOU HAVE BEEN DATING, SHE HAS NOT SLEPT WITH ANY OTHER MAN

Spirit04:
girls do abortions for fun. If you have ever been to school area you will know that abortion is nothing even to 20 years old girls

Mcmichaelin1:
Pray to God
Though it’s risky due to human logical and scientifically reasoning
Wetin this genotype of thing will cause
Well I’m still in your shoe
I can relate

Thegamingorca:
You are speaking to a cold hearted murderer under the guise of love

dawnomike:
In Nigeria, hospitals sometimes get one's genotype wrong, how much more that of a foetus?
Aside from the above, imagine the case of the 1st been SS ad got terminated, the second one also SS and terminated... Try to comprehend such trauma

dawnomike:
Pls no matter the love, for the sake of the love you'll have for your unborn kids.... Do not try it!!!

InvertedHammer:
/
I guess life experience in Canada can only be viewed through the prism of you and your friend.

/

InvertedHammer:
/

Lol. I can bet money that you can't afford to send the N40k if you face the challenges abroad. It is not only about income and bills. There are things the lady will not dare explain to family members because they will never understand. The OP has high expectations and could be one of those quick to punch in numbers using exchange rates.

Like I always say, if it pains him, the Embassy is close by. He can travel and show the sister how it should be done.

/

Sultannayef:
I don’t like arguments. I don’t know what you are talking about. 100 CAD black market in Nigeria is N50,000.

Let me give you 80k Naira so you give me CAD 200.

like1:
If this is not entitlement mentality I don't know what is it. OP do what you can do for your parents without complaining. No dey look your older sister. If you no fit too, lock up too and stop being a baby.

Your sister sends 40k monthly, she is already trying. You re calculating how much is 40k in Canadian dollars. You are even expecting your sister who has spent only 5 years in Canada to be able to have enough money to bring you abroad. If your sister id actually who you say she is, it is obvious entitlement mentality from your side is a major factor to the way she behaves.

Because there is nothing she ever does that will be appreciated.

Moreover, do you know her burdens in Canada, have you tried to inquire? Does she work as a student? 20 hours a week? Has she overstayed her visa and not able to renew and now staying illegally? What is her status in Canada.

Praisepriest:
Oga calm down, abroad no be as you see am here. Calculate the 40k for a year. Parents must have something to fall back on after retirement. I be man e no easy. Me too get sister there she lost her job last year.i dey pity. No carry your life put into one person. E go crash. I have kids and am working on my retirement despite giving them the best. God bless you all in your family.

Wawelexy:
You took the word out of my mouth.... OP will be shocke to discover he is actually doing better here in Nigeria than the so called sister living abroad...

CosmicDust:
Here is my story....

I have a 3 siblings and I am at odds with my eldest who is a lady. The way it is, I may never have a conversation with her again.

She was the first person to be invested in by my parents after which I came. Luckily enough, she was able to strike gold in her career and do well for herself. She went abroad for her masters with my parents supporting with half-payment. Unfortunately, whenever it came to family demands and helping the other younger siblings, she has either been negligent or grudgingly does so.

Few years after going abroad, she decided to lockup and sends only 40k home which is supposed to cater for food for a month.
Now parents are retired, the whole family weight falls on my following sibling and I. The youngest one education is on me. Happy she will finish soon. Parents need to be supported in challenging times, one is coping with diabetes and the other is with some challenging issues I can't say here. Their savings are being sapped by their needs to keep living on.

But my so-called elder sister based in Canada despite knowing their condition is silent. She still sends her peanuts, while I and my younger brother who is an upcoming fashion designer do 2X what she does. This aches our parents and sometimes makes our mother cry and our father rant with regret.

A time now came, our mum got admitted in the hospital. Condition was so salient that she had to be hospitalized for weeks. Hospital bill was 450k. The Canada-based first born doing a good job, who was always talking to her, praying with her on phone, etc only sent 100k. We the others did the rest. Glad mum is back at home but her heart is broken and has refused to talk with her. She's been in Canada for 5 years and has refused to even support any of her siblings to come abroad too.

My other siblings say because we all refuse to be dictated to by her is the reason for her behaviour. I don't care. Mine is that if you know that you are going to be useless to a family, let your parents know before hand so the money used in training/feeding you can be used for farming business which will despite bad weather bring returns than on a child who feels is not obligated to support the parents who supported you all through.

kyber:
This girl told me of how much she missed me just yesterday night and of how she loves me.
I have been really busy with school work so I had no chance to visit her in the last 3 days so I decided to pay her a visit this night after the rain stopped only for me to knock and met another guy in her hostel room with his clothe rough like they have been romancing.

Please help I don’t know what to do
She is begging me now … should I forgive her?

Neweramify:
Op your wife was wrong, but try and understand her fear. Most women feel inconvenient around their mother inlaw. Not because she hates her mother inlaw but for the fear of the unknown.

Let her know how you feel knowing she wanna bring her mum in when she rejected your mum. I'm sure she will feel remorse of her action.

Permit her to bring her mum, cause if anything happen to the old woman, she may accuse you of one thing or the other.

ozalogbo:
I am the first child of my mother, and I have two younger male siblings. I am doing well financially. My wife is the last of four children in her family. My dad died when I was still in the university, and this affected my mum.

However, as she aged, her health waned. She was a retired teacher. My brothers are not in the country. Both of them are in Europe. I wanted to have my mother stay with me in her later years because of her health and loneliness but my wife did not want it.

Whenever she was ill and I brought her home to be with us, my wife was usually hostile, especially if my mum had stayed beyond a week. She did not hid her disapproval, and this caused problems in the marriage. People advised that I should send my mum away and pay someone to live with her and take care of her. They said that marriage was between a man and his wife, not between a man, his wife, and his mother. I did and peace returned. Eventually my mum passed on after a few years.

Along the line, my father in law also died. And down the line, my mother in law's health began to deteriorate. We live in the same town. Among my wife's siblings she is the only one doing quite well. Now there are suggestions that the mother should come and live with us so that my wife can give her proper care. I believe that her living with us and seeing her grandchildren will help her. And indeed i have no problem accepting her, but when i remember the treatment my wife gave to my mum, there is a strong revulsion, in fact, anger in me. I shared with a friend, and he advised i forgive my wife, but the revulsion is so strong that i would feel cheated if i agreed.

What do you guys think. She reminded me then that marriage was between a man and his wife only. Shouldn't this also apply to my wife now?

Omobithousand:
My hubby cheated and has been begging me to forgive him but i can't find it in my mind to cos the messages and everything i saw really messed me up... never knew i could feel this way
Please I'll welcome Ur advice and bashing and if you also have a
Marriage counselor please share his or her number with me.. thanks.

Honestfrend:
I met this beautiful lady last year... Although i have know her over 10years ago but we just walk pass each other. We stay in the same area.

So last year wen we met and started dating. I told her that i love her and would like 2 marry her. Ever since then our relationship hve since been going on smoothly.

But just yesterday i was explaining something 2 her, because we always talk about relationship especially after watching movies that involves it..i told her that i am not assuring that our relationship will be 100% perfect but i will try my best fix any issue that might arise because we re humans n no one is perfect. We talked at length sha before she left.

Few minutes later she sent me a message this " why are you telling me that you are not assuring me of anything, that's not what we talked about when we started"

Immediately i told her y she would make this knid of comment.. I have to explain 2 her that i never said that am not assuring her of anything.. I only said that am not assuring her that our relationship will be 100%perfect..

Am getting worried because its seems she accepts to start a relationship with me because i said i will like have a future(marry) with her.. No because she loves me.

Please advice me..i truly love this girl.. Also am over 30 n she is around 30..

Tnk u

SixKeys:
Some people think all of this is just for 'cruise', but trust me, it isn't.
I see plenty people here calling me all of sorts of names, and it's totally fine.

I might be ignorant of somethings that is why i decided to ask the question, "Is it possible for someone to get pregnant without penatration?"

SixKeys:
I'm not really good with typing so I'm gonna make this as short as possible.

During my undergraduate days, I met this lady, let's called her 'Lady B'.
We started dating dating briefly and I grew to really really love her. Our physical moments together didn't last long coz I was I n my final year and she was in 200level.

So, I graduated and we had to opt for a long distance relationship. It's 2years now and everything has been quite blissful. I haven't felt this way about a lady before. In fact, I've told her about my plans of getting married to her once I'm settled financially. My parents are even aware of our relationship.

We are currently dealing with a problem now, She's pregnant, but its not for me!!

According to what she told me, she has a cousin that stays with them.
Now, this cousin of hers sexualizes her and masturbates in her room. He even ejaculates on her most time she's asleep.(she told her parents but they didn't believe her)
She once woke up to find herself 'soaked' in the guys sperm.
In summary, she got pregnant without penatration.

I got to find out after she told me about her missing her period, so I asked her to do a PT strip test and it came out positive. (She's yet to do a confirmatory test In the hospital though)

I seriously hope it comes out negative because..........Ah!

I swear I'm confused! I don't wanna lose her

1phone:
This month of may complete a year I started dating this babe that I wanted to marry. But I noticed on several occasions through her attitude that her body is in the relationship but soul and spirit is not with me. I have spent in making sure she is fine. She got all my attention. And I have even gone to see her parents .
So I stumble on this her comment on a guys page on Fb today. I confronted her and she just, without any remorse, said it’s just a comment neither did she call to apologize

Please experienced elders, is it enough reason to quit now?

Kobojunkie:
1. What reasons did I give for poverty? Be specific here so I understand where on the line you are coming from.

Kobojunkie:
1. Interesting! What options are available to the millions of poor girls on university campuses then?

2. If all you have is your body, do you simply curl up and die or do something with it? Poverty itself is mentally degrading, so choosing to fight one degrading factor with another, makes a lot of sense when you find yourself down there mentally.

3. Working smart? Petty trade? So, what you are suggesting is that on a campus of about 3000 girls, and maybe 3000 boys, surrounded by so many petty traders themselves desperate to feed their kids, almost every girl should take to petty trading in order to earn their daily meals and needs? How does that in fact work out for anyone? Have you ever tried doing petty trading yourself? I happen to have tried it back when I was a kid with no success. I ended up having to eat my inventory because there was so much competition we could all barely squeeze out enough profits from our trades to make ends meet that way. That is why I so hate it when folks suggest that petty trading is the way out of poverty for others.

4. Many of those girls choose prostitution because it is what is available to them. They don't have the money nor the business know-how with which to start what you call petty trading— many probably figured out that having yet another petty trader in each hostel room means they will likely not get anywhere fast—, and since there are no factories, companies, etc., around campuses to hire them, they resort to doing what they know there is great demand for and pays well. You would need to build lots of companies to handle most of the needs around campuses where the majority of the students are from poor homes abeg.

5. As for the place of society and the economy, well, do the maths abeg! With over 90% of the population living below the poverty line and with unofficial unemployment as high at least at over 30%, what do you think could be the major reason why many of these girls resort to prostitution as a way out of poverty? Do you think they love sex so much?

Banilla:
Her excuse is bullsh**.

If you wanna be a prostitute, fine... But making it seem as though poor girls have no other option than to have sex for money is plain stupid... The idea is degrading... As though women are nothing more than their bodies. What happened to working smart? Petty trade? There are many options to choose from. Becoming a prostitute is your choice, and you would deal with the consequences (including stigmatization) and have no one else to blame but yourself... Take responsibility. It's not the fault of men, or society, or the economy.