₦airaland Forum

Fahvvy:
A man possesses the qualities of a good husband and you disqualified him all because of his looks? ...

He provides for your wants...
He treats you well...
He puts up with your excesses...

And yet his only issue is that he's not tall enough or fine enough?

When have you ever heard anyone saying that it's a man's height that makes the marriage work? Or it's his fine face that makes the marriage work? ...

This is how y'all women will pass on, on men that truly care for you for irresponsible men, simply because these men don't meet some ridiculous physical standards that you have in your heads ...

Truth is that the things that make marriages work are not physically based, they're majorly character-based ...

But it's your call ....
Since this is a deal breaker for you, then tell him off ...
My most sincere prayer for you is that you know what you're doing ...
If you're a believer, you should seek the face of God on this matter ...

I don’t understand. Should she marry who she is not attracted to? See the first is attraction. Others comes second

caesymore:
Pussy, you don't how depressing it is for a man knowing he ain't good in bed.

so who’s fault is it?

Anny69:
You better go and find work first. That 20 year old would show you shege so you better focus on the woman you have.

why she go show am shege? Are all young people like that?

lonikit:
Please help me, I met her two years back and honestly, I love her. I couldn't marry her all this while because of the economic prob in the country. She just secured a local government job but I have not secured a job yet. Though she has a jealousy issue, which I am managing. Recently I met a lady just 20 years. Though we are not dating yet but I am sure we feel something strong for each other. My main gf has been quarreling with me for a while now thinking I am dating the other lady. Now,, I am thinking of marrying her and start life while the economic struggle continues but someone told me that she will have issue with getting pregnant and child bearing due to her age. I am confused because I honestly need atleast a child. I know anything can happen in life but I wish to have children. Delay in this may cause problem in our home if I marry her. Please I beg you my people what is the probability of conceiving at 37 Help a bro to make a life time decision.

if you are so keen on kids, y not try to get her pregnant before marriage

lekonso:
You did not say anything about her character which is the most important thing, only the physical attributes. So you want to marry physical attributes and not character, that is not wise. Does she give you peace, does she obey you and respect you, you didn't mention anything of such. If those ones are there, buy her fine clothes to wear, nice smelling perfume and take care of her, see it as your own contribution of helping God to beautify His creation and see whether God will not bless you back in return.

stop this jareh. See if someone has the best character in the world but u no love am, e no go work. You can find someone that has that character and still fine

abbey621:
Those advising the OP to clean her up and live with it, you people are delulu! Someone described his wife with such disdain and irritation yet you expect him to magically turn those feelings into love? Una dey craze!

We've seen men who genuinely love their wife end up maltreating her, how much would it take for this guy to eventually turn the disgust into an excuse to emotionally and physically harm her?

OP get a divorce, your mama go dey okay, the girl go dey okay....You sef wa wa alright!

Nest comment so far. I really don’t understand how people think. In a year, person only slept with his wife 5 times, do they think he has not tried to love her. See even if the girl wears the best cloths and speaks the best English, him no fit love am. Divorce is the way. I so much believe I’m divorce ooo. I don’t believe pple shld stay where they are not happy. Divorce shld be the last option but it shld be an option

obinna58:
Your mother only wants whats best for you, let’s see a picture of the girl first

Is she loyal?

Why I’m I feeling like you don’t know the value of what you have until it’s gone

See as you’re describing olosho qualities as your choice of marriage

cut the crap. Sometimes na dem want what is best for them.

Nebes:
You better clean that girl up and start loving her. There's no going back since you were not strong enough to resist the marriage. Package her into your taste now that your mother is still alive.

which one is there is no goin back. Divorce the girl sharp sharp

caesymore:
Aunty Nympho how about you buy it yourself and help yourself in secret, there is no need for you to rub it on his face.

You Women can't stand little of the shits you blow on our faces... Tufiakwa

idiot. You think it’s easy

MeGood91:
I am the type that don't give women money.

The only time i gives women money is when u are coming to visit me and it's only for transport.

The only gift I ever buy for a girl was a wrist watch for my ex during her birthday and that was after many complains from her
It's not that I don't have money to give, but I prefer to carry my self to bar to drink and eat pepper soup alone and even buy drinks for guys

But when u come to my house as a girl, i will prepare or buy whatever you want to eat. But giving or transferring money to them, i find it very difficult.

Please, am I stingy (cos I have been called that name alot by girls)

you are not stingy, you no just get money

tubolancer:
99% of women will still do this, maybe your brother should look for a man and marry. Good luck to him.

bro, na lie. Let him leave her, he will find a better person

Trustedpronet:
Your wife dey even admire your friends right in your present wetin you go do. Op the way married woman dey do runs now is more than olosho. If you want to keep pointing at red flag you will never marry. Some masturbate with their crush on social media etc.

red flag get grade

orohbirodeysmel:
Omo you be my type...2 seconds I don send you away...
In relationships today na we dey spend the money, so na who pays the pipper dictates the tune. You no fit dey chop my money and you go dey disrespect me or cross the boundaries...I go withdraw my aid as United States of America dey do. If you go on the wrong side they go withdraw their aid and their troops 😎

I swear ooo. I can’t be funding you and you disrespect me

Mysteriousworld:
A younger brother of mine saw a message on his finances phone.
She sent a message to a guy on instagram, telling him she likes his lips, so tempting.
Now shes claiming its not a big deal, that she doesn't even know the guy, that hes just an instagram model...(its true she doesnt know him,and have never met him).
But my brother doesnt feel good about it, he asked for my advice, and i decided to put it here for him to see himself.

Pls is this a red flag... Or not much of a big deal. The wedding is in February.

end am ooo. Na olosho

NiceLegs:
Hello everyone.

Please I need you inputs on this.

My Uncle who is a Citizen in USA filed to bring his wife in Nigeria whom he married in 2020 to the United States in that same year 2020.

Luckily after a very long wait time, the USA Embassy in Nigeria called the wife for interview after 2 years in the year 2022.

She went for the interview and was not given the Spousal visa or Green card or whatever they call it

They told her to get more evidence of their marriage as the Visa Officers were not convinced they were married.

They fixed her to come after 2 months from the first interview date.

Before the second interview date, my Uncle in USA fell terribly sick were he could not speak atall.

They could not communicate with themselves at this stage.

She went for the second interview after the two months and was not given visa again.

My Uncle's case got worse that he was even brought back to Nigeria in January 2023.

Now my question is this, in such case, can the wife still get the USA Spousal Visa on her own at this stage?

What can she do to still get the Spousal Visa from here?

My Uncle is still in Nigeria as we speak.

Experienced USA migration experts, what can she do?

this visa should no be her priority now. Her husband should be. When he gets well, they would sort it out. Unless say she just marry am for papers

ravensckar:
Yes, I stand by my point. As irresponsible as he may seem, he's still their dad. You'll never understand what a fatherless child is going through. Ask those whose father is dead, they will tell you.

what do they go through that they do not come out of? Tell me

ravensckar:
Dear OP, you have indirectly answered your own question without realizing it. Didn't you say your kids don't ask their father for anything since they already know he's penniless due to gambling addiction? Therein lies your answer. They will choose to never become like him and that's their first step to becoming successful in life. He is the example of who they will never wish to become.

At 11 years old, your boy is still in his 'formative stage' hence his brain is already distinguishing between right and wrong. And trust me, he already knows who is the lazy and hardworking one in that house.


Do not separate them from their dad so that it wouldn't psychologically mess them up. It's better to have an irresponsible dad than to have none at all. If you separate them from him, it may lead to pent up anger and other 'Daddy issues' which will later affect them in life. Seeing that he is 'irresponsible' is even a form of education. At least, they will grow up to never want to be like him. What greater education is more than experience?

In summary, the fact that your kids see you toil to provide for them is the fuel that will propel them to face their studies and be serious in life. All through my years in the University, I never forgot my parents hustle and that motivated me to study hard, shun cultism and other social vices. Don't hide your struggles from your children, they will learn from it.

see talk. So it is better to have an irresponsible dad than not to have one? Funny

GreatAchiever1:
I admire the persistence but you should not leave your husband no matter what, I don't know how hard you've tried helping him overcome his gambling addiction, probably it's the kind of herd he has ganged up with that introduced him to it. I believe you should try and challenge him to become a better father(be respectable and submissive about this) and back it up with prayers. There are Men coaches online including pastors where he can listen to their messages and be motivated to take up fatherly responsibility, encourage and cheerlead him in doing this.

And for your boys, don't bad mouth their father to them. No matter what a boy when growing up needs his father even if he is not responsible(afterall they are the result of their father's seed). If your husband is lacking the father figure they need at that age, I don't know if you have relations that can teach and guide them in the right masculine path. A boy needs mentors to look up to to become a man so as not to become a nuisance in the society and a woman can't be the mentors they need. Again I will say look up resources online they can learn from incase you don't know relations that can help guide them.

nonsense talk. “You should not leave your husband no matter what”. Why should she not leave him. The wey una Dey reason sometimes ehhh. Someone clearly enjoys being useless and you still want her to stay no matter what, under the disguise of marriage.

Quality20:
In d past, many pastors married and converted ashewo women and they became responsible and religious but these days, many guys flow with hookup girls. Guys can u really marry those religious hookup babes u are dating or u guys are only having fun? Are u trusting enough of ladies? Remember some of them only did hookup because of some problems bordering on finances, like been with younger siblings who need money or sick parents etc.

never in this life and the next

mbaise1000:
The reasons marriage has lost most of it's values is because people now Marry for the wrong reasons, our bible said that "money is good, wisdom is good but the advantage of wisdom over money is that money will not save the holder on the day of trouble.
Is it good reason to marry a person because of the amount they earn par month? There are things that are more and better than material things.
It's good to be ambitious but,

na women first start am

Sirchiboy:
Made a stand to stop sleeping with hoes coz I came into full awareness that nothing is so special about sex.
It will only drain your money and leave you in a state of perpetual regrets.

traveling abroad changed my life

kot1917:
thought as much... nothing just keep being a blessed mom to your kids and be strong 💪 would like to be a friend

lol ok

Jewessgratitud3:
There's this lady I've been trying to bring into my kind of job, so she's been coming to me for training against next term.

Now she happened to let me into her past and her sad encounter with men. I try as much to encourage her. She now asked me a question about body count and I really don't have any idea how these things are rated. So I told her would get back to her on that.

She asked if 6 Body count is too much for a lady her age. She also explained that for most of the men, the sexual experience was just a few times like twice and the others once before it hits the rocks.

So is it too much or not?

you Dey believe woman

Victoreal:
I'm a 30 Year old man, working in Lagos and I earn an average income of 400k monthly. Is 400k Salary good enough to start a family in a place like Lagos where standard of living is quite on the high side.

no, wait till u are 50. Sometimes I no know Weda una Dey post this things to mock people. How many pple for nigeria Dey earn ds amount

kot1917:
Seems akube is divorce too🤣🤣🤣

yes. What else?

Ulunne777:
Even the one you wan go pay bride price for,person dey bleep crease comot for am right now.
The only advice you ppl give is how to break 💔 homes never to reconcile.

But look at most threads in family section,young,bachelor,married,widowers,divorced,all of you keep creating threads and disturbing us here.

sure na, at least I no know. This one she left you, remarried, you are fully aware say them don scatter her, then she came back. And you wan accept am. It just like if my babe cheats and I find out, then I accept her back. In Egungun,s voice “that’s crazy”. Which home wan break again, home wey don break since

Prospertochu:
My x wife and I share 3 children together ( 4 years old triplets 2 boys 1 girl). I live in another state due to the nature of my job.

The girl lives with her in Lagos and the boys are with my mother and sister in the village. I rented another apartment for them far away because I don't want my x or her family to come and kidnapped my boys the same way she kidnapped the girl .

My x wife and daughter are going to the village for xmas she want me to give her my mum adress so she can see the boys she said she bought plenty gifts for them .

I refused because the last time she visited she took all 3 children to her parents house only for her to kidnapped the girl leaving behind the boys.

I don't want her to kidnapped my boys and she has threatened to take me to court for custody she said the judge will grant her custody because the children are tender .

I told her to go ahead and report me anywhere she wants. I am scared to loose my boys. I love them so much they are my everything I won't bear to lose them.

My boys are only 4 years old is it true that the judge will grant her custody because they are tender ?


Edited 1 : https://www.nairaland.com/7112098/x-wife-demanding-me-more#112551530



Edited 2: https://www.nairaland.com/7436944/ex-wife-kidnapped-daughter#118450454

if it’s Lagos, and as long as she is responsible, the court would grant her the children as they are still tender. You will have visitation right

Yemi4luv:
I have an issue that's bothering my mind , I have to pour it out, I'm a single dad, i have 2 son from my previous marriage, i had a issue with my ex wife my mom doesn't like her so we departed 3 years ago,she took my kids along with her just to cut the story short she went to remarry a man that live in scotland but the man is a Nigerian, the man has a house in south west, so my ex had a daughter for the man, so recently a lady that live in my area jest me that the man have chase her out from his house that she has relocate with my 2 son and the daughter she had for the man so last week I received a call from her I was so surprised how she got my number ,she was pleading that she is sorry for every thing that she had done to me that I should forgive her and come back to her again that she had learn a lot of lesson that the man that he got remarry to that the man was complaining that he can't take good care of my own 2 sons that she cant bear the pains again that she had to leave the man house with my 2 sons and her a daughter to port harcourt, I do always send money to her for the upkeeping of my sons and I do pay their school fees too, I always go to my son school to check on them and pay their school fees, so she said that she will like me to come to port Harcourt to live together as family again that she is very sorry about what really happen between both of us, please I need an advice from you nairalander what should I do, i need a mature advice please, God Bless you All.

pause for a moment, and imagine how that man go don bleep craze comot for her body.

SALLYBERRY01:
I'm not 25 yet but i will love to learn from those that are 25years and above.

what are the harshest things life has taught you at 25 and above?

nobody is coming to save you, especially Men

ADURA123:
Before you crucify me, pls check my previous two stories

https://www.nairaland.com/7833825/want-divorce-live-alone

https://www.nairaland.com/7842384/peace-ultimate-target-happy

The peace above only lasted for a week, then it done on me that this woman will never change, reading through comments on Nairaland shows that is a place to have fun not for some serious issues, but as the matter na here i start am, i say make i update una grin.

So finally i left my wife and took my three kids away from her and she may never see them until they are 20yrs, women should know that, is a man's world no matter what you try to do, the Nigerian society is program to favour the men, from law to traditional institutions.

Now, i found my self in the hand hand of a beautiful single mother of 1, 35yrs same with my wife and Halas, she is over the moon, she self na man pursue am last year November, her marriage lasted just 7yrs and guess what? she could not speak to her kid since then till now, is a man's world.

I am very careful but i know say no be pikin carry me go there, i am currently on drugs i cannot impregnate woman, but guess what>

Most of you suggested coz i couldn't satisfy my wife in the OZA room that could be the reason why she is misbehaving despite all i have done for her and still doing, naaaa, sex is from the heart, i barely last 20mins with my wife and struggle to go two round, the same me last Saturday i was almost killing somebody's daughter and person former wife grin.

Some of you requested i increase her monthly upkeep, i did, but for where, i just discovers she is not my kind of person and no match for my lifestyle, She has to look for another man to marry or remain single and f*ck around if she so wish.

The simple lesson here is that, both women are now carrying the Tag, DIVORCED WOMEN, while me as the man can still settled for a baby girl of 21yrs but God forbid, their ogbanje too much grin.....Married women should learn to do what your husband want, no juju pass that one, especially if the man is responsible and taking care of his responsibilities.

Adura ni ti gba....if you don't know me you can judge me.

you are clearly a stupid man. What do you mean Divorced Women, is it a curse or something?

Jangolover:
I think it's an invitation to Bleep her but nah i don't Bleep people's wives. Godforbid.


See eeeh fear women i repeat fear women

why dnt you bleep people’s wife? They would still bleep yours

ogashman:
Wow

I can't imagine the heartache u felt discovering that ur supposed wife has been cheating with a male colleague.

I would always advise people to check their spouses' (whether wife of girlfriend) phones at intervals. That is how to catch an unfaithful partner to avoid raising someone's kids as urs.

At Op, go do DNA on your kids to be sure u fathered them.

thats why I laugh when people say, dnt just to avoid trouble. My brother, I tell any woman I want to take seriously that I check phone and she can check mine. If she brings that privacy talk, that’s one of my red flags, I just know not to take her seriously and keep her for knacks