₦airaland Forum

OlawaleBammie:
Hello baba, pls can I ask u some questions??

No DMs
No asking for money
Not asking for accommodation


I just want to make some enquiries from u sir

airprince:
Evening everyone, I’m a young guy of about 22 and i graduated in 2021 from Delsu, after which I traveled to Cape Town last year and got a 3 years residency permit but I’m currently in Nigeria because the rent was too high and I wasn’t doing anything other than staying at home daily and money wasn’t coming in anymore like it used to so I went back to Nigeria.

Now I’m trying to figure out if it’s best I travel to Canada to further my studies basically work and study or stay back home here in Nigeria and start an extensive agricultural project; livestock’s & poultry(I’ve lands for that already)

Guys pls help me out I’m just so confused I just sit at home everyday doing nothing while I’m waiting for this Nysc letter it’s so boring.

Cloudflare:
Wrong bro! As you make your bed so you lie ontop. If U Keep spoiling a girl like you said, what happens the day you don't spoil her? She'll dump you ASAP for another dude who can spoil her and the cycle continues.

Dude, understand that no matter how you spoil a girl there's another guy somewhere spoiling her even much more. In fact there's yet another guy somewhere chopping her kpekpus for free. Be rest assured that you're not the only one eating her kpekpus. So why must you take the role upon yourself by spoiling her?

Dude, if you're looking for a woman to spoil, your mother, sisters and your wife are in the best position for that! Take your mother and sisters out and spoil them. Not a girl everyone is servicing!!!!!

Cloudflare:
A foolish guy asked me if it is right to take back gifts you gave to your ex. I said he is asking the wrong question. The right question is, should you give expensive gifts to a girl you are neither married or related to? No!!. Who appointed you as Santa Claus?

Prevention is better than cure. Don’t do it! There is nothing wrong in buying your wife even a diamond studded phone. But why be so stupid as to buy a girlfriend a phone? Phone that she will use to call her new boyfriend if she dumps you? And if you have the audacity to complain, she can even block you with the phone you bought. Dear guys, Be wise. Not nice!!!

Abi1985:
Except a woman has made up her mind that she does not want to have kids. Having children at a fertile age is key. Please do not wait too long to settle down or marry. It is not easy for many women after the age of 35 to 40s to conceive children. It is very possible for a woman to have children in her 40s and even 50s but the chances are not high compared to a woman in her 20s.

Should a woman marry a madman or have a baby with an irresponsible man because one wants to have kids? Definitely no.


Do not fall into the category of a woman who is so focused on her careers or degree that she ignore to date or ignore life after work. That PhD can wait if you already have a Master.

surequality:
No! I will not.
Why?
I am AS by genotype and She is same.

surequality:
No! I will not.
Why?
I am AS by genotype and She is same.

Opanka44:
Do not Commit Abortion. It's a grevious sin before God and Humanity

Ojedollar:
My good friend. I understand how you feel,as i was once in your shoes. It's actually possible for an As person to marry another As,thanks to modern science,albeit expensive.
You can use the option of an IVF,to select healthy sperm cells(without sickle cell),to be injected into your woman.
You can also use the option of testing the genotype of the fetus at about 11 to 13 weeks old. If the fetus is free of sickle cell,then congratulations,but if the fetus has sickle cell,you'll have to abort it and try again.
I'll advice you and your wife book appointment with a gynecologist for further guidance.
I wish you the best of luck.

Cazzim:
Hey all, so I have been on this crazy and interesting forum for a long time. I have seen many guys and very few ladies create topics on "Searching for a true relationship that can lead to marriage I Wana settled down at early stages, not when I'm 40.
on nairaland, Some of them have been trolled at and even insulted by both guys and ladies, who question the rationale behind coming to a faceless forum to seek for a serious relationship.
Truth is that, I have been indifferent to such posts. But here I am, about to follow their lead!

I will be 27 by September, and I am really starting to think about settling down for real. I'm not RICH, but I am doing fine for my self and will do better with time by the grace of God.
Im not ugly even though beauty is relative sha (smiles) but also very humble and down to earth.
I am a software developer, loves football like mad and God fearing.
I'm 6ft, I don't know my weight at the time of making this topic, but I am sure my BMI is perfect. fair in complexion, AA genotype.
I am a peace loving guy and I wouldn't compromise on that! I actually have my flaws too, but I am working on it.
So if you are a lady and you meet the following criteria, send me a PM

1. You are not a student
2. You don't have entitlement mentality
3. You have a job or something reasonable and
morally justifiable that fetches money for you.
4. If you didn't meet the criterion in #3 above, but
you have a responsible father/family that will
be responsible for your needs as a woman.
5. You are intelligent and not a boring person.

6. Though I'm not necessarily looking for
physical beauty, it's a plus wink
7. You don't have lotta drama up your sleeve
8. You are educated, I didn't say you must have a
degree.
9. You want to settle down
10. Your body count is at the barest minimum, if
not zero.
11. If you are aged between 20 and 32

That's all I can think of right now.
Please if you find any typos or syntax errors in my grammar, pardon me because I am more concerned about writing in the language that the computer understands than that which a human understands

Jennyclay:
Biko, men should stop this sick attitude. How can you buy a gift for a lady, then any misunderstanding or break-up between you two, you go back and collect the gift back from her . That's a stupid attitude biko you men should stop it. Even kids don't behave like that.

Henceforth, if any man wants to get me a gift, wether iPhone, hair, car, house etc.. the receipt must contain my name and my signature. so that incase of tomorrow he wants to show his stupid and sick character I will quickly sue him to court for stealing and assault. Because he's forcefully trying to steal what belongs to me. The receipts has stated it all and it would be my evidence.

If the receipts doesn't contain my name, Biko just keep your useless gift to yourself.

Shame on all men that collect back gifts he already given to a lady. Shame!!! Shame!!! Shame!!!

theophorus:
Vibrant40

1. Your Babe like Seyi gan.

2. Your Babe knows you are Her Husband.

This is my take: Seyi should be mature enough to let go of a Woman who is engaged to another Man. Seyi should stop playing with her emotions as this may cause Future issues and shifting of pant.

2. Your Babe should give herself Brain and stop the Foolish Friendship with Seyi because it will lead to problems if she does take the hard decision. She must realize there are things we like to have but can't have and that 'Can't have' is for our Good.

3. If She ever threaten to cut the engagement again, call her bluff and cut the engagement until Her mum calls and you have a round table talk about the issue.

tollyboy5:
Not all ladies are the same tho.

tollyboy5:
You don't judge everyone with yourself. An extreme introvert trying to keep away disturbance during work might switch phone off and come back to reply offline messages from few people. But ladies don't understand this, in fact many people don't understand this.

tollyboy5:
You don't judge everyone with yourself. An extreme introvert trying to keep away disturbance during work might switch phone off and come back to reply offline messages from few people. But ladies don't understand this, in fact many people don't understand this.

Snakedoctor1:
He is abroad and gives N250, 000 monthly for the upkeep upkeep of his wife and three kids.

He buys electricity and gas and maintains plumbing etc from abroad + house rent and school fees.

Men and brethren, his wife cries wolf before 20th of every month.


Please should this money not be enough for food and other house expenses in one month?

Sxyhalima:
im in my late 20s my boyfriend is in his early 30s

he is a great guy, he earns a good amount, he has a good job, he is ambitious, he spoils me (buys me lavish gifts), he loves and supports his family, he cares for me when i am sick, he is intentional about me, he speaks multiple languages, he is educated, and more.. he is my perfect guy and he is so handsome too, i feel like i've hit the jackpot. he isn't perfect, but neither am i, but he has great potential.

i have 3 issues

1) his family

his mother, these are the issues that have happened

A. when he took me on our first trip abroad i sensed that his mother wasnt really in suport of it, which i understand. some mothers may not think it is wise to spend lavishly on a girl you have just started dating. Also, he started to use my picture as his display picture on imessage because he liked how I look, I also used his too. but then this happened.. his mother and his aunty held a family meeting with him and asked him why I am allowing him to control me and commented about the holiday and the display picture.
B. I kind of got the vibe that his mom wasn’t happy about the fact that he spent new years eve with me at a party as opposed to at home praying as usual with her
C. Valentine’s came and when the gift he delivered for me arrived, his mother (as a joke) asked “where are her gifts” and asked him why he doesn’t buy her gifts. And then she started enquiring on our valentines plans
D. She wanted her son (my boyfriend) to go to her with to a church to pray that the relationship is God’s will (she is very spiritual and goes to church every day) and when her son told me I thought it was weird. I have no issues with her going alone, or even him going alone, or us two going together, but the fact that she and him wanted to go I felt it was weird. So then I invited myself to come to the church with them and then as the day that I was able to come was a week day she said she had to go to work on that day. So that my boyfriend offered to pay her what she would earn in a day so she could come. She agreed. But then she said she would meet us at the church and make her own way home, instead of us going as a three. And then when I just felt that was weird too, I expressed my concerns to my man and said that I wouldn’t go to the church and then he said he wouldn’t go to the church with his mother and that was a huge issue, she sent him paragraphs upon paragraphs of messages and was very unhappy about it. They didn’t speak for months, because of the church issue and other arguments they have had
E. I noticed that they don’t talk to each other via message anymore, and im wondering whether it is because of the profile picture and he said they just prefer to talk via the phone
F. Since then everything has been fine, but that is because he has stopped talking to his mother about our relationship and has kind of distanced himself from her. Also other things surrounding his family have come to light, I have found out that his mother doesn’t talk to any of her siblings she has 3 of them (for over 20 years) and has fallen out with most of her friends. She also had a bad marriage herself that ended in divorce. My boyfriend doesn’t talk to his older brother and hated his dad because of how he treated his mother. To the extent that, my boyfriend is biracial (half white) but refuses to acknowledge that he is white because of how much he hates his dad. His younger sister also has bipolar disorder and I am wondering if these things are genetic. I don’t know how comfortable I feel marrying into this family, what if his mother and I have a misunderstanding – will she stop talking to me for years? Will his little sister have an episode that puts a strain on our marriage?
G. The family also really, really depend on him. And I am concerned, if we do progress in our relationship and move to the next stage – how will they cope when he is gone, because I don’t want to share my husband. I wouldn’t want to be in a situation where he is being a husband in 2 households. There is nothing wrong with having a son who is a main figure in the house, but he really does play the son/husband role in their household.

2) appearance
Like I said earlier, he is a handsome
He is handsome but he isn’t exactly my type in terms of appearance and how I’d like our future kids to look

3) job
It was always my dream to marry a doctor, or someone really rich. Im not a gold digger, but like I said earlier, he is a provider. But he still lives at home. Im interested to know how much of a provider he could be for me and our future family when he is living alone 100% paying his own bills and mortgage, because his disposable income will go down. I feel like I’d feel more confident marrying someone who was living independently and able to fend for themselves 100%

thats another thing, his mother diddnt even want him to move out because he supports the family she wanted him to stay at home and help pay off her mortgage



i get the vibe that she feels im taking her man away

vibrant40:
Okay. I met this girl in an exam hall, we were both writing exams, so we did the student things, she asked me a maths question which she was kind of afraid of and me being a maths person answered her question and moved on with with my exams. After the exams she search for me to say her gratitude and we moved on. I think after the results was released and she got an A in the exams was when she had to find me and got me on Facebook. She chatted me and introduced herself, so we began chatting from there and that was how I got to know she is my kind of woman.

I asked her out, we started dating or lemme say I started dating her because at a pint she told me we were only friends during the time, be she do come to my side, we do touch and kiss but no s*x. Down the lane I got to know she had a guy whom she was dating but she could not marry because she has so many revelations and dreams that he is not the one and according to her, the guy had so many red flags. At a point I put it to her she should choose what she wanted on time, the guy or myself.


According to her she choose me. Along the line, she told me about another guy disturbing her for romantic relationship, because no matter what she will tell me anything even if she knows I am gonna hurt by that, although I do take it that she is trying to literally tell me to do quick and pop the question if I really want to marry her. All of a sudden I observe she was receiving a Seyi call till like 12midnight, and I would want to call her only for her to be busy on another call for a lengthy period.


She will not stop talking about this guy whenever we are together, how good the guy is to her, she even was like we have the same character but only that the guy is taller than I am and she had also never shy away from talking about the physically height of her dream children.


I saw all these as competition and keep letting her know how much I love and want to marry her. One afternoon, she just rang me and said just a sentence, 'I will marry you'. Well that gave me the assurance I needed, I met her mother (dad is late) and I must confess she has a very good mother, the mom checks on me everyday (infact she did while I was typing this epistle). I popped the questions and she said yes. We had our introduction and currently planing on getting married.


The problem now is, she would still not stop talking about this Seyi guy. She even called me one to tell me she went to his house, that the guy called home to come, I confronted her so many times to tell her how I felt about it, she kept saying sorry and keep repeating the same thing of no cutting loose from the guy, she even claimed that at least she is not having s*x with now that they are just talking..


Some days ago we had a serious argument about this matter and she was like maybe we should even end the relationship if I don't trust her (and this has always been her anthem whenever we have serious arguments, she would say maybe we are not compatible). She later apologized and promised not to let that happen again that she would cut loose of the guy, only for us to be talking via whatsapp last night around 11:40 for to receive this guys call and they spoke for like 10mins. I ended my call, she called back later and was like it was just an innocent talk they had....


Seriously, I am tired and confused, what should I do? Please help me with your candid advice. So sorry for the long epistle and some bad grammar.

NwaliE01:
If you're wise, you should have ask question. How would you learn if you don't open your mind to learning instead of attacking someone even before hearing them out. Well for your info. I built my first house at 26. You can deal with that too.

NwaliE01:
Yes bro.. i did and still do.

Yugoslavia247:
Some job will keep you too busy to eat.

Talk more of relationship.

guobe:
I was in a conversation with a girl after she posted on her WhatsApp status that you use to call me everyday before now but now you nolonger call.
I asked her why her boyfriend nolonger calls her and she said that he is always busy. In my mind I feel if a guy really likes a girl there is nothing that will make him to be too busy to give his girlfriend all the attention she deserves.Just my thought though.

NwaliE01:
At the age you feel insulted by their advice.

When you feel ashamed to eat in the living room with visitor/s staring at you.

When you know you have learnt well enough to sustain yourself.

It's not always when you have enough money or age. Sometimes those metrix doesn't work properly.

I left home at age 17 plus and I am doing so well today.

Ireportlive:




Growing up in the city , living in developed countries, I used to think village was all about what was shown in Nollywood

But I was wrong, a couple of years back I had a project in Kogi, Isanlu and this changed my perception

If he is going to the village, make sure it's for Agriculture or sales of agro commodity

This villagers live extremely cheap life, they use solar panels, eat cheap bush meat, buy fresh products, stay in cheap rented apartment, very serene quite almost dead environment, watch free to air Satellite TV



.

b3llo:
no be everybody get machine or car

b3llo:
If you have a wife who is healthy and live in your house, 50k is enough with enough of prudence being applied. Another factor to consider is the proximity of your working or business place.

Kobicove:
Since it's a first time offence what I expect is to caution or give you a stern warning.

Giving you a slap is taking it to the extreme, my advise id for you to call off the relationship otherwise she will not see anything wrong if your boyfriend turns you to a punching bag after you get married to him

tayo60:
Even if you are left handed, it's disrespectful to use d hand to give an elderly person something. Courtesy demands you swap the content to right hand before giving the person.