₦airaland Forum

since she is a child, just leave her and don't worry. Just make sure she bathe the normal morning and night, then baby creams that should do. The spots will clear as she grows.
And please stop the Ori mixed with honey (I'm sure that's the reason why she is turning dark)

Depends..

1. If she can endure and damn the consiquenses, (death included since we are talking about physical abuse here)
2. How "willing" is the man to change.?

Wow this is lovely! ... may God continue to sustain and bless your Home

They should just get this case done with...

danieloy4:
How many of us guys agree with me on this point that most of our Nigerian babes dont chat, they just reply... Especially when you meet and chat with some very annoying types of species on WhatsApp, FB etc

not all... some guys also don't know how to initiate a chat. Someone can just send you a message "hi, tell me about yourself" like seriously I don't even know yu from Adam! No greating, nothing whatsoever and you expect me to just start telling you about myself like that.
And the guys too, it's better to just ignore some chats (but it will definitely not go down well with them)
Don't have the mentality that every girl you initiate a chat with must respond or be interested. There are MANY girls you can chat with. And you can stop chatting with black girls and go strictly on the white girls (God has made life really simple you know... )
I chat very well ONLY when the chat in interesting. Else, ill just tell you I don't enjoy chatting with you. And if you still continue sending chats, ill jist ignore. It's very simple
And sometime, I might not be in the mood to chat, but no, some guys will say the girl is rude

tosyne2much:
Me I no earn ur respect abi? Smh

lol, you could be part of the few na

It's so nice....
#wallofmanycolours
My only concern is, after the present battery stops working, that's the end of the clock

Dygeasy:
1.Why do women think men have to put up with several of their shortcomings irrespective of what the man feels? They think men have no choice than to stick around because it is what they signed up for. They become overly comfortable and complacent thus ignoring the basic important things that make the relationship thrive. They can but men cannot. Double Standards!!

women don't feel you have to " put up with their shortcomings " ( since you are perfect yourself ) you ( MEN ) just think that is what we feel, and it's all in your head. But since you have a choice, why making it seem like a big deal? And men are also guilty of the bold

Dygeasy:
2. Why do contemporary women believe settling bills is up to the man alone? Should there be a situation or a problem and the woman handle the bills for a while, the man may get a constant reminder of that instance for the rest of his life. Yet they expect men to do this for the rest of their lives and not see it as a big deal. Double standards!!!

not all women have a problem with splitting bills ( I wonder why we are generalising ) and @ the bold, that's your ego talking. Most times, when the woman is incharge of the bills, you feel belittled hence attributes any and every little misunderstanding to the fact that she is in charge of the bills, again, it's all in your head

Dygeasy:
3. Why should women see sex as a favour that must be gratified in cash or kind? They often think only men enjoy sex and so for the enjoyment given to men, they must get something in return. Why can't a man have sex with a woman and they both move on and forget about it. I'll get you a gift for your birthday or some other event. Definitely not because we enjoyed each other.

this one is actually the other way round ( or should I say it's in circles ), some guys feel because they give or assist a girl financially, they are entitled to having sex with her. And in the process of feeling it's " your right " you tend to get desperate, and she in turn sees it like it's a kind of favour since you are acting like your life depends on it ( meanwhile, you are struggling not to be cheated ). And at the bold, why can't men give girls money and just move on and forget about it.

Dygeasy:
4. Why do ladies generalize and tag all men as cheats and an average guy as randy? But they aren't willing to concede to the fact that their dad's and brothers and Uncles fall in this category as well.

the same way guys ( just as you are doing now ) generalise that all girls are cheats and gold diggers... forgetting that you have mothers, sisters, and female relatives also

Dygeasy:
5. Why do women hinge their moods on only what they're feeling and expect a man to be up and doing everytime regardless of what he is going through or facing? If a man goes into recluse because of a personal feeling, they scream blue murder and complain of lack of attention. Most women think men don't need attention too.

women don't think you have to. You just feel responsible to act.. and about attention, we know men need attention. I mean, who doesn't? But the problem is you men think showing a sign you need attention is weakness, and in that case we cannot help you. Women are affectionate by nature. So giving that isn't a problem for us.

And your NO.6
If a woman insults or "abuse" you, abuse and insult her back without shame and don't care about what people will say

shaybebaby:
It is lovely, indeed. May just have to ask you to send yours over .
I am well jealous

we could arrange how to get you one

shaybebaby:
Okay, off topic but that dress in your profile pic, I love it. Where did you get it from? I sooooooo want it.
Or rather, what is the brand?

heheeheh thanks dear, it's actually a crop top and a skirt. Heheh but alot of people think it's a gown. I got it here in sch (CU)

Rajosh:
yeah this is very true. I was born and brought up in kano so I can attest to this. After I graduated, I taught In a secondary school before going for Service. this is a private school with 98% of students from very rich homes. some of these kids are very brilliant but English is a very big problem to them.

what's the name of the sch?

Toks2008 is definitely one of the few male NLders I respect!

OMG, the interview was awesome

I hope he puts all the free money he is getting now into good use...

I quite agree with you OP.
She is not wiz kids mate age wise and other wise. She should have just IGNORED the whole ranting. She needs to do something about her low self esteem issue asap... its making her defensive in a wrong way.

Lol

drewxx88:
when I read that you eat a lot , [b]I had to go look at your profile pix [/b]and I must say your looking trim and preety for a lady who eats much ...Now back to the guy in context I'm guessing he was perplexed about the impending bill ,and after the whole foul mood thingy he sees your the one paying coupled with the fact you gave him the take away ,smart guess is he wondered who took who on a date ...

it doesn't show no matter what I eat

queenfav:
Some men can be very confused sha,if you had waited for him to pick up the bills,he would have tagged u a hungry gold digging lady who wants to turn him into an ATM.

I'm telling you.. The friend he reported me to, said she was lost

Guluma time....

misscastle:
Nah, Babcock.. my brothers are in CU

oh.. ok, nice

DrChukzy:
Anybody that calls this a [b]show off or stunt [/b]deserve to be chained nd flogged. If she doesnt show us the picture of her deeds who will? Later sum1 will say she isnt helping anybody. This is an evidence. Her pix will speak for her. Kudos Ma!

Those who say the bold are usually full of negativity. It's their nature they can't help it.

Hehehehe.... Really but there is nothing wrong in going with a hungry stomach so long you will pay your own bills na.
Well, there was this one time I was to meet someone somewhere, but I forgot because I was really busy with some stuffs, and just when I was to go get something to eat (my first meal for the day o ) he called to remind me, but I told him we needed to reschedule that I'm with a friend and we have been helping my mum sort out some stuffs and I'm really tired. But he insisted. So I said fine, he should meet me at a restaurant becaus we are very hungry (the tone of his voice changed immediately, ) he said "ok no problem coldly" in my mind I was like, look at this one
Sha sha, he got there before us sef, we exchanged pleasantries and all that... it was time to order, hehehe, me that I like food before, I ordered a heavy meal (I eat too much) my friend too, and he was just looking, I can imagine what was running through his mind (we were meeting for the 1st time).. my friend asked why he wasn't taking anything, and he said "nah I'm fine" I was just smiling inside me. When the bills came, I ordered for a takeaway, and he was clearly unsettled, (the talk wasn't flowing sef)
The final bill came and I paid with my card. The look on his face was priceless (my friend didn't even notice anything, she was too hungry)
He was now like "you didn't have to do that, I was going to cover it" then I told him " well, I don't know how much you are worth so I wouldn't want any inconvenience on your part. By the way, the pack is for you"
The guy took it P sha. And told the person that introduced us that I'm very proud and arrogant
I was like are you kidding me What did I do! Sometimes I don't even know what guys want,
Anyways, I can go on a date with an empty stomach, as long as I'm going to pay for my food.. Nobody should have a problem with that

misscastle:
The background in your photo.

oh yeah.... are you a student too?

misscastle:
You're a CU girl

Lol, why?

brendachizzy:
You still don't get it, do you? This is not a debt issue. You didn't read where the lady said he frowns at his siblings but smiles around her during courtship but things suddenly changed after the wedding? Please, read it again.

most people didn't even read the whole thing... judging from their comments...

@ Serenity008 if you read the writeup, you will get the answer to your question. Calling someone a lazy a** while you have lazy eyes

x240:
You must have been reading my text upside down.

I blamed everyone proportionately. I never spared anyone. I like to be a realist and talk based on facts and not just emotions or feelings.

I guess you skimmed through where she said she started seeing the obvious signs when he was having troubles settling his office rent. I am not in their family and can only judge based on little snippets of info you can gleam.
What does it connote for a man to not be able to pay his office rent just few months after his wedding?


You make it seem like it is a black and white issue. How many times has a man tried talking to the lady to listen and reduce the cost of wedding expenses but they turn it too a case of he is too stingy.

How many of you ladies here would agree to budget wedding?

How many would agree to a small wedding with just minute friends and families around?

How many times have ladies of guys not loving them enough because he doesnt want to spend on a frivolous wedding?

The guy is to blame for over spending his balance but its not that easy to just pull out of such when you have expended emotions, time and resources nurturing such a relationship only to just breakaway.

So run along if you can't constructively disagree with my post. Thanks.

@op This might not be the case in your example but you need to sit him down and talk about finding a way around whatever challenges he is facing. The way i see it. There seems to be fire on the mountain and all his lovely wife wants to do is "Gist about what is not". No wonder he pulls away and thinks "You don't just get it".

which wedding isn't based on a budget Your conclusion game is strong mehn! So because he is having trouble paying for his office (which by the way what she said was "His office rent was due that month" so you don't know for a fact if he was having troubles paying ) and she alrdy mentioned that he said "the pressure of providing for a new family is getting to him" that's the reason why he is acting like that.
We are talking about people's marriage here. Since you said you are a realist, act like one and analyse the situation based on the information provided rather that bringing in your personal experience...

familyrocks:
Change too, just start Ignoring him totally, in fact just live as Co tenants. And from your write up[b] it seems he is not doing well financially and your still young so please the second option is leaving that marriage before you get pregnant[/b]

hanhan! is this not too harsh Leave the marriage ke? Just like that!
It is well. OP please disregard this kind of advise for now.
One more thing, I think the signs were there, you just ignored it or weren't concious of them. Why will he be keeping a straight face to his siblings? Did you bother to ask? Marriage is very delicate.
There are signs that shouldn't be taken for granted no matter how small or irrelevant it might seem. How a man treats his family (immediate ) is a kind of reflection of who he is and how he was brought up.
I think you were just carried away by the love and affection he showered on you. But since the did has been done now, just try and look for a way to sort your marriage out. The best advise so far is the one given by Eddygourdo. And while at it, your kneels shouldn't be far from the ground in prayers., fight your battles on your kneels. And please, try not to get pregnant now, it might become too depressing for you both (I'm saying this because he told you the pressure of providing for a family is getting to him) so please, we don't need a baby in this situation now. God will help you

A

SirAweezy:
My point is why waste this amount of money here in Nigeria when you can get a quality and better Education with same amount or more abroad.

not every parent want their kids abroad..
And it's a decision, everybody can't attend the same university as you.

Returning students didn't pay up to that. Just freshers
And there are schools more expensive (secondary schools o) so what's the big deal?

Qualer:
DAMN! is that you?!!

Lol, my twin

Toybreezy:
PS: not every female is a Narcissist and not every man abuses female

Exactly.... let's just all hope we find someone we deserve.
Actually, I don't buy into the equality theory..
I feel gender equality and equal rights for both genders are two different things. But the advocates for "gender equality" are mixing these two wrongly. And they are always using abuse as a case study, which in my opinion should be fought separately if atall we want to eradicate abuse of the female gender.
And when it comes to abuse, anybody can be abused(it's a very broad word ) men, women, children... anybody atall.