₦airaland Forum

Dude, I think there are more reasons than just age. Just 40 years ago, lots of people, especially women married around the age of 19 to 23.

If you check carefully, most mothers who oppose early marriage, they themselves married at a younger age. And successfully too.
As for those saying his parents know he's not ready, that may not be true. It is normal for parents or older people to think younger ones are not serious or ready or responsible. Whereas the younger ones might actually be better informed and better prepared now than people of same age were a generation ago.

It is how the marriage evolves that matters. Change is constant. People change & circumstances change too. Life 20 years from now could be fundamentally different.

Both have dated for 4 years and they are still in love & feel compatible. Another 4 years of uncertainty & no commitment could strain their relationship. Especially if the lady & her family perceive the delay story as a tacit refusal.

Dude ask your parents politely if they have other reasons. And make them explain exactly why they think you are not ready.

It could issues like you need to invest first, build a house or houses, etc. They might just not be ready to let go of you yet. Like senior son, an only son, or they might think "that girl tear eye" and she might start controlling you etc. Once married, you can become out of their reach. That can be good or bad. Depends on whose interest. But generally parents worry a lot about their kids.

Marriage is an institution in which you get your certificate during matriculation & you never graduate from it.

Learning & adapting along the way matter a lot more than your "JAMB score".

mamajaz:
Olodo
Olodo

Madam genius, thank you. Na you sabi pass.

Benita27:
They don't take it to the extreme like is done here, and like i said earlier "they are more liberal".

Have you had one before?

What you can say is that people are generally more independent and family units are not quite as close-knit. If a guy finished uni at age 21 and moves away to work 500km metres away and marries at the age of 35, he would have been independent from age 18 if he was on campus or from 21 if at home during uni. So parents might generally be less influential. But the idea of being more liberal becomes a fallacy when you have actually being in it. I just gave you an example.

I once dated another girl who was very nice. We went on holidays together and all that. Her mum knew my name and knew her daughter holidayed with me sometimes. But her daughter never told her I was a black man. Her daughter said no point telling as she hated the idea of any black person coming into her family.

Me too nor care. I had no plans to marry her. Later on when she sometimes talked about marriage, I had my ready excuse : her mum.
Marriage is hard enough when both families are in support let alone one side is against it ab initio.

Sure many blacks marry white ladies but all is not as sweet as it looks. I have been to several weddings between black friends and white ladies where the white family flatly boycotted the wedding.

Who nor go nor know.

Benita27:
Neither of the above mentioned.
Their foreign counterparts aren't as mean as our Nigerian mother-inlaws are.
You're referring me to a movie of a mean mother in-law like i haven't seen one.
They're more liberal and understand what space means in a marriage.

Some foreign mother-in-laws are even worse.

My ex-babe's mother opposed her son's marriage to a very nice lady. She saw her as a foreigner. Even though her Jewish ancestors have lived across Europe for over 1,500 years and in this particular Western country for about 500 years!

A nice pretty professional lady. But both were in love. Even after 2 kids and about 10 years together, the mother-in-law still never warmed up to her DIL.
In the West, mother in law jokes are a favourite among men in the pub/drinking joints. Na today?

Benita27:
So unfortunate.

They shouldn't blame the man joor!, death is inevitable... maybe hers came in that manner.

My dear superstitious disposition encourages carelessness.

Now consider how many millions of lives have been saved by just using seat belts.

So will you now say those who die not using belts were meant to die so?

Haba! Remember, God sometimes "allows" bad things to happen, but he does not cause them.

RIP young lady.

Benita27:
So unfortunate.

They shouldn't blame the man joor!, death is inevitable... maybe hers came in that manner.

My dear superstitious disposition encourages carelessness.

Now consider how many millions of lives have been saved by just using seat belts.

So will you now say those who die not using belts were meant to die so?

Haba! Remember, God sometimes "allows" bad things to happen, but he does not cause them.

Lagos should fight for a true federal system with Lagos as a region outside SW. Like it was in the first Republic.

Letting Buhari ride to power on SW propaganda machine does not mean the North will show gratitude and hand over anything you want from them. Seek something far more long-lasting.

Na wa o. Reckless woman. Poor child.

Hope it finds a loving home.

altitudee:
How true is this information or are u just here to play with our minds ? if this is true, then Nigeria is not in recession, she is in looting

That is just the official one o.

Not kick backs they get from being part of house committees overseeing various sectors like Banking/Finance, Petroleum, Education, Healthcare, Works & Housing, Defence and others. Players in those sectors pay lots of money to have favourable terms or bury investigation into infringement of the rules.

That is why political offices are do or die matter in 9ja.

globe16:
Its sad you cant see what the femis and other yorubas are trying to do. They are trying to stop history from repeating itself. worst case scenario, buhari will send tinubu to jail and nothing will happen. It will only big a big shame that for the upteenth time, yoruba leaders have been used and umped by the north. This is the scenario Femi is trying to avoid. He captured this sentiments well in the last paragraph

They are a bit too late now. We warned them about this scenario years ago already, and strongly again before election last year. We cited Akintola & Awo, OBJ & Awo 1979, Abiola/IBB/Abacha case and more. But Yoruba called us Tanoids & said they are master politicians and sophisticates.

They just have to suck up whatever Buhari dishes out. The North have power now. That Tinubu foolishly handed it to them on a silver platter has no significance except irony. Atiku & El-Rufai are warming up to be next president & the North will be solidly behind them. And SW will even vote for them sef.

MENELIK1:
Osu how I wish you know the meaning of betrayal!

In case you were not born yet then. Ask your elders.

Did you know that Awo was set to be president using the NASS vote system (if the presidential election result gives no clear winner) that was the law/act governing election in 1979?

Did your elders tell you how OBJ scrapped that electoral act post election and made another law retro-active?
If that is not betrayal of Awo, then betrayal must be part of your life that such is normal.

Most of you guys are babies just making noise online because you have a few mb to burn.

Educate yourself before you come online to show ignorance.

In your bigoted mind, anyone who says how it is is from across the Niger. Pathetic.

LorDBolton:
Oga u dey mind dem? Like they say only those who get caught are guilty.

All these 'fake' moralist upandan naija yet dollar is nearing 500

Stupedinluv:
I can never truly understand why a significant amount of men in this part of the world have very low standards when it comes to women.

Same reason millions of men & women worldwide watch internet porn. With two conservative countries Pakistan & Nigeria having the highest porn watchers according to internet monitors.

Where an erotic bit of flesh is exposed, people will look. It has nothing to do with class of the "pornee" or even taste.

Dude I understand you. At least you tried to find one.The prospects with many ladies in UK are not bright. Some now think they are oyinbo, only without the financial responsibilities that oyinbo ladies share in a relationship or the civility & manners of oyinbo.

At the end they are neither here nor there. There are good ones but so few that you might not be lucky enough to meet one.

Marrying from home/9ja is not quite as straightforward as it used to be. Because the girl you will bring over might already have several social media boyfriends in UK. You could end up ferrying her down for another man.

If you do find a nice lady in 9ja, do not promise her heaven and earth. Also do not promise taking her to UK at all. Because the ones that want to just go abroad can pretend to like you. Whereas they might be worse than the UK girls you are running away from.

The one who does not mind giving it ago even if staying behind for years in 9ja might be better. But of course you know keeping her in 9ja is not an option. But let it NOT be the central theme in your discussion.

A guy from another African country was in love with a 9ja babe in UK. From the story the guy told me, the 9ja sister was just dribbling him left, right & centre. And I told him so but he was so much in love. Looking at his religious background & other aspects, I advised him to forget her and return to his country to marry from there. He finally found out the dribbling about 18 months later.

He went to his country, married & brought the lady to UK. They have 3 kids now & all are doing just fine.

Oluwabusobomi:
What joined them together will soon scatter them!

APC...Party of crooks

Strange bedfellows will surely scatter.

ChrisEsq:
Yorubas need to wake up. The South is too progressive in Nature to allow this backward region do these things. Wake up!!

They will not hear. Awo knew what you said there back in 1959 and refused to play ball with the conservative feudalists.

To think that almost 60 years later, those who claim to be his political kids cannot still fathom it is sad.

undecidedYoruba:
In other words, Yorubas are the problem with Nigeria

So said Lamido Sanusi very clearly.

Fact is Yorubas are widely mistrusted. The Igbos open show it.

But Hausa-Fulani mostly conceal it so that they use Yorubas to keep hold of power.

Giving OBJ the presidency was to appease Yoruba people, so they can be used in the future. Still they gave it to their person of choice, OBJ.

A man who betrayed his own kinsman, Awo, and gave power to Shagari in the past.

ok

ennyhola:
read and assimilate

Done. Now time to disseminate.

donnybee:
His Mum(2face's ex gf)got married to the founder of Royal Christian Centre(Pastor Adeoye)after the demise of his former wife

Ok thanks.

Nice.

But how is Pastor Adeboye his step dad?

Quite a pity we have a poor healthcare system. And psychiatric care is abysmal.

So many depressed people walking about and even driving cars around.
Nowhere to turn to.

And they call him Trust. Nor be only Trust, na Obey.

9ja get some very bad pipu sha. Ah ah!

Bari22:
How many times they want us to devalue naira? May be some years to come five thousand will not buy a loaf of bread.

Sadly, our economy is at its weakest in a whole generation. Wack economic policies have caused a recession. When we should be having at least 6 to 7% annual growth, and even aiming for a double digit growth medium term.

Anti-corruption fight and all are cool, but a poor nation like ours needs a steady & sustained growth. Anything else will set us many years back and create many social problems.
Even with low oil prices, a rate of 4% would still be expected with proper economic policies.

While Buhari likes to blame his predecessors, at this rate, his successors will have even far more reasons to blame him for an even bigger mess he will leave behind.

Sadly 1$ to around 750 Naira is a more realistic rate.

ourema:
The information given are very sketchy no details of what really happened before the death of the men. Just because he is an APC member and was killed means that it must have been carried out by PDP and the governor. Politicizing criminal offense is the highest from of irresponsibility

Nor mind them. Even in political killing, intra-party killing is even more common. Especially at the lower & middle tier level. Fighting for influence, money or position within the party is the reason mostly.

Assuming PDP are just partisan & bad losers, what about the international observers who said the election was not free and fair? Are they also PDP sore losers?

Like it or not, Saraki is number 3 citizen. The highest he could ever reach being a Yoruba Northerner.

And he got there by outsmarting the two old horses.

Even if he left the political terrain today, that record will stand.

He has proved that the younger ones do not have to be stooges to the oldies.

gulfer:
What is 'Pre-birthday' pictures again

Abi o. Nothing person no go hear from 9ja pipu.

adeaks:
These people marry off girls who are eleven, twelve years old yet a grown woman cannot hug another man

Ol' boy why you come "steal" wetin I wan write na??

You said it all. Nothing to add.

Politicians are very diabolical.

Even apparently sophisticated people like Atiku still have their legions of marabout (according to OBJ).

Fadamant:
Thanks very much@chuskbogus2001. The op, has an issue and is seeking for advice. Instead of providing advice the alphas and omegas in relationship matters on nairaland are calling the op names for discovering and feeling bad about the lie his wife told him.

Lies on any grounds in marriage are bound to erode trust between couples and eventually destroy any marriage's foundation.

@Op, please forgive your wife. Calm yourself down and have a tete-a-tete with your wife, stating how you feel about it. You cannot throw away a marriage that has been going on fine before the issue of age came up because of age. Moreso, marriage is more than age. So forgive her and shelve the idea of divorce.

You see, the way people think that whatever a woman does is right will only harden the hearts of men. Seeing how quick & blindly most women defend the lady here is an indication that they themselves probably tell worse lies from the pit of hell than the said lady. And it is all perfectly normal to them.

The lie is bad enough, worse still is that she has not even admitted it or shown remorse or apologised and explained why she did it honestly.

The fact is this: If somebody can lie about very small things, how can you expect her to be honest about big consequential things? Like destroyed womb through abortions or a serious disease or a genetic disorder (like x-linked disorder that just the mother alone can pass on to a male child)? I guess pseudo-feminists here will say since the pregnancy resulted from another guy, this man here also deserves an infertile woman. Just for being a man.

If proven that she lied, it's OP's right to weigh all things and decide what to do. That includes forgiving her & filing for divorce/annulment on the ground of deception.

prince0:
As a graduate of International Studies and Diplomacy from the Great UNIBEN, I have the authority to tell everyone that the diplomat cannot be prosecuted in Nigeria. He has immunity, our diplomat can do same even in the USA and nothing will happen. The immunity that the guy enjoya is derived from the president of the sending country, in this case his president.

I don't want to go into details but the bottom line is that the Traffic Warden was not properly trained about diplomatic practices in his police training hence we was wasting his time with him. There is nothing our government can do about it. As a matter of international practice, diplomats' bags, residents and domestic staff are immuned, they don't pay tax too. There is another one known as Privileges aside the immunity they enjoy.

That is all I can say for now for the purpose of education so that some of should not be fooling ourselves with certain comments.

I know of a diplomat who killed someone at a Zebra crossing in a car accident in a European country. A diplomat from a central African country. He could not be tried in court for causing death by dangerous driving and negligence, but he was going to be expelled when his country withdrew him.

It depends on how much impunity a host country is willing to accept from foreign diplomats. Such a careless utterance by this dickhead would not be tolerated in civilised countries.

On the surface their bags are not searched but advanced countries spy on diplomats routinely & know most things going on at most embassies.