₦airaland Forum

No be only!, naa PHCN,camry kmt!

Valiant50:
Super Clean,
Pure Leather interior,
Am/Fm/CD player,
Factory fitted ac,
Rear Ac Vents,
Auto Transmission,
Auto Whining,
V6 engine,
Wooden Trim Formica,
7Seaters,
Memory Seats,
Headrest DVD player,
Alloy,
4doors,
Sound engine&in good condition,
First body,
Lagos cleared,
Slightly negotiable,
Price:2,800,000
Mileage:105,886km
Contact: 07063985335
Whatsapp only: 08108403001
BBM: 2932F945
Office: Agidingbi Ikeja Lagos State.
NB: Only the serious buyer should contact Us.

that's a 4cyl engine

UndespicableMe:
When you ask them to fill petrol for N1,000, the attendant fills up the oil only for N200. When you ask him why he didn't fill up for N1,000. He will give a innocent smile and say that he heard N200 and he will fill remaining N800, he resets the meter and fills up another N800 petrol and you pay N1,000 (200+800).

Whats the scam here ? The problem is that he never resets the meter to 0 , he continues from the N200 point itself and go till N800 , so in reality you only get the petrol worth N 800, but pay N1,000 . The trick here is that when he says that he is resetting the meter to 0 and moves towards it, at that some moment, another team mate of attendant will disturb you with some question like – “Sir, Cash or Card?” , or “Sir don't you need oil? Or “Sir do you need this or that?”.

As a human tendency – you will have to look at him or hear him and in those 3-4 seconds, the main attendant will start the meter again and by the time you look at the meter, its somewhere near 300-400, and you feel that the meter has restarted starting from 0, but actually it was just continued from 200 point only. So you lose N200 here.

Kindly add more... this is fuel scarcity period, a time to learn something in the petroleum sector.


cc: Lalasticlala

someone did that to me and I gave the man an innocent punch in the face

starbuck:
This happened today at Enugwu_ aja, ichi in Anambra State. Stories emerged that he hunged himself because his sister is getting married this coming Saturday to the suitor he doesn't like.


Cc. Ishilove, seun, lalasticlala



From my cousin who lives there

lol na so, na wetin go happen to my enemy, u see am the pic is so funny, now he has got direct entry into hell

He dey flex na!!! for he mind say he dey beer parlour, why him not take selfie ? [size=8pt][/size]

tushd:
I met this girl through a friend , we stopped talking for a while before we hooked up again about few months ago on whatsapp we started talking alot and for the first time in a long while someone got me glued to my phone..
We finally agree to met up and the first day was nice has she came to my place.. We played and all and get to talk more
A month later we decide to date each as we like each other and to give relationship a try wouldn't be a bad idea then I started to notice some disgusting attitude about her
First time was when we where making out and she started laughing, that would have been okay if it was that i tickled her o something.. Then I ask and she said she remembered once when she was playing with her dogs and the worm from the dog entered into her breast towards the nipple side and she had to press it out.. Immediately I heard that my john Thomas that was all standing just took a bow

2nd time was a chew gum she left in my place and I forgot to dispose it after she chewed finish. Next she came to my place was saying I should chew it.. Thou jokingly but it just disgust me and i couldn't even make out with her
3rd was she had water in her mouth and ask me to open my mouth so she could pour it in.. Kissing was different but that was just disgusting..
Thinking of just calling it has I'm of the notion i was too quick in getting the relationship.. Now if she is around I just think about those stuff's and it irritates me from the breats, the gum and the water and so many things like that.. She claims she is being free and all but it is just creepy has it limits physical contact with each other.i like her and all buh that's just a turn off.
Should I call it quit?

bro ask her quietly and calmly who the fak she think she is?

Berylpharm:
arnld ....das just d fact.....God bless u for saying out d truth,sincerely d World leaders are partisan.... racism in-practice

yesooo brudda

Thats cos Most of these Nigerians are stewpid, they can put their ugly faces behind a french flag when less Than 1000 died but cant to that for Nigeria especially when bokoharam killed more than thousands of people and troops kmt ...............silly Nigerians i dunno what to say their own level of mugucity is a mysterious wonder, IF UNA LIKE MAKE UNA CUSS ME BUT NA FACT I DEY TALK (THOSE THAT ARE MAD AT YOU FOR SAYING THE TRUTH ARE THOSE THAT ARE LIVING A LIE, DON'T LIVE A LIE LIVE THE TRUTH)

pot belly men....................................... hmmmm potoski!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahaha you can donate vehicles to those robbers called police but you cant donate food and jobs to the less privileged #ENDTIME

Iranuuu obacha!!!!!!!!!!!

Islie:
http://thenationonlineng.net/marathon-sex-with-prostitutes-lands-man-in-prison/

malonogede de malonokekeke owey!

Yes na, she wan kill me put, I be small boy? Na wa for u oP

winetapper:
1.The female advertisers.
 You would see this category marketing their wares,dancing,twerking,in
other for you to me entised by their wares and patronise them for the
night.
2.The Boss
 They are always in one corner on sofa sipping champagne, and buying
people drinks,spending money..
** to be a Boss sweet sha **
3.The Male buyers/Admirers
 This are the custormers so they have to examine well, they are the
ones the female advertisers twerk for, they just sit or stand in one
corner and observe !

4.The fake dancers.
 This category of people would stand by the corner and watch people
dance while they nod their heads and shaking their body, you be
thinking they have this killer dance step.. But when the Dj provokes
them with their best music and they display their dance step
 I be like "" so nah the dance be this ""
.
5. The gays/les
 This ones would be by the corner observing the same sex, even
dancing,rocking, and touching their bodies as if their lifes depends
on it..
6. Clubbers.
This ones are just in club to enjoy,dance and relieve them self of
some stress,dancing,drinking responsibly and leaving at the right
time.
.
7. Staffs
 This category are not to club but assist the club, with boucers
ensuring security,bar man supplying drinks,cleaners ensuring neatness
and Dj killing the beat
8 . Gamers
 This lighten up the environment by starting up club games like devils
basket,snooker,card games.
9 . Gate crashers
 They know actually that one has to pay to gain entrance but you see
them at the gate trying their luck..
10 . Spectators.
 They dont participate in anything the look at those dancing like they
are Judges, mostly girls cos they had free entrance
11. The foreigners.
 You know they are foreigners by their skin colour and they way they
dance.. They dont day with the corresponding dance step..they dont
know when the music will stop or begin.. When ever their home song is
then played you see them daning with all thier strenght and right
dance step to show its their song..

12.Feel free to add yours

THE MATURED ONES: The ones that buy their drinks, sit down, shut the hell up an observe then any nigga that comes and begs for drinks he buys for dem #that is me on a real

Stupid fagbag!

DanceVille:
Cardinal John Onaiyekan, the catholic Archbishop of
Abuja, has revealed what President Muhammadu Buhari
should do to stop the deadly Boko Haram insurgency.
The prominent cleric has advised the incumbent
Nigerian leader to involve the sect in negotiations.
Onaiyekan, who is the ex- president of the Christian
Association of Nigeria spoke in Abuja at the 2015
Catholic Television of Nigeria dinner.
The cleric said: “ What happened in Mali can happen
here. We do not need people to cause this kind of great
calamity.


“The question is how do you create a situation where
such things don’t happen?
“It is not easy but you can do all you can to put
security apparatus around but you cannot do it in such
a way that no bad people will move around.
“As a spiritual leader, the solution is first we should
pray because God can do everything.
“Secondly, we should look into our religious messages,
because many of these terrorists are also calling the
name of some religion, calling the name of God.
“But we must find a way of letting them (Boko Haram
members) know that this is not what God wants.
“I personally do not know how to achieve this but I
believe that a lot still needs to be done.
“When you (government) reply fire for fire I am afraid it
does not solve the problem.

“So, apart from military tactics there is need for more
effort as political discussion, reaching out to people.
“Even the terrorists are human beings born of a woman
with feelings. I am sure somebody somewhere can talk
to them.”
During the presidential campaign Buhari pledged not to
hold talks with the terrorists if chosen as president.
Meanwhile, in a BBC interview several months ago the
president has welcomed talks with Boko Haram
insurgents.

The last ceasefire agreement between the militants and
Nigerian government in October 2014 has failed when
the Boko Haram sect rejected that they had agreed to a
ceasefire with Goodluck Jonathan’s government.
Negotiations with the insurgents in recent years have
failed to achieve a peace deal, partly because it has
several rival factions.

Source:www.naij.com/644938-must-read-president-buhari-can-stop-boko-haram-prophet.html

buhari when e nor fit stop e self, na boko haram he wan stop, o please don't make me laugh #na fact I dey tell u, I nor dey wish anyone bad

musco4me:
Is ur wife still doing the hair dressn stuff? I tink a good wife should always be by her husband's side both in good and bad situations. OP u shouldnt hv left the little job u had b4. I suggest u intensify ur effort on job search and also try discussn wit ur wife to be patient with u at the moment. But after discussn with her and she still insists on leavn, then u better use ur tongue to count ur teeth. Maybe shes just after material things. Thats all.

if she wants to go then let her go, you better fear now, women a wicked what if she sees anothr man and decide to poison you and u die for the sake of nothing I bet u never thought of that?, don't be blind by stupid love, there are plenty of bitches in the farm nigga, UR A MAN, love is just a name u wan tell me say (God forbid) if u die tomorrow, she nor go fuuuucckk another man? Of course she will, you better wake up and smell the smoke of the firewood now, this one na naija ooooooo

cashcity:
I met a lady in my neighbourhood about 3 years ago in a friend's birthday party. We exchanged contacts and started talking as good friends. With time I started developing feelings and decided to ask her if we can move the friendship to next level.

She said no that I am not her type for relationship, that we are better off as friends that we were. She said that there are so many qualities of a man of her dream in which I am no where near.. Mehn, that statement hurts me so baaaaad. Then, I just concluded my NYSC and she was just in her 3rd year in university. Gradually we stopped contacting each other.

Few months later, I secured employment in one construction company as a site engr. Withing a year, God started blessing me with personal contracts to the extent that I was forced to resign in the company to manage my contract works....I visit my parents in the neighbourhood as usual but never see anything that resemble her all those while. One day a lady shout out my name when I was trying to navigate a T-junction in my street with my newly purchased 2012 Toyota tundra. I struggled to recognise her cos it has been long and women changes so fast. After little discussions, we exchanged contact again. Now my phone can no longer rest because of her constant calls.. She is even forcing me to fix a date for her to visit. This is a lady that allegedly insults hell out of me when I was poor. Again, how did I suddenly become her type now when my stature and look still remain the same.. Pls advice me pals. Should I take her as girlfriend or move on with my life?

put aboniki on a condom take Bleep am kmt stupid usless bitches

Na all those innocent heads when the baga use take to ritual take follow up, e don backfire, every day for the thief but just a split second for the owner, not even a day, home video nor be joke it actually shows you the realities of life ifyou can wactch between the lines #THIS WORLD IS FUKKKD AND VERY SOON THERE WILL BE VERY MUCH NOTHING LEFT OF IT!

The man get bachelor degree in hell fire, can't blame d babe, if u don't know truth then you will die in lies and dishonour #fact ( all dem bloody politicians are spoiling nigeria siren dey blow follow thief wey thief rice chop but all dem bloody politicians wey move billions wetin dey happen to dem?? YOU NEED TO GET YOU HEAD OUT OF YOUR ARSES, SIT UPRIGHT AND THINK FORWARD, NOT SO FAR YOUR MOUTH OPENS OR UR BRAIN THINKS!!!!!

Atmmachine:
Her pusssy stinks & he's tired of that rotten fish smell down there.

I don't blame the guy, i would have masturbated by brain out if i were her boyfriend.
#Stinky goat.

lol, guy easy na!!!

Lol, he is just farking his spirit, just let her know, I dey fuuuuccckkk 3 times a day, and besides that it's reduces headaches and stress tell ur friend to pack her gift for him *singing* #oya gift put of the light, ogede ti pon baby let's make some love tonight

udumosam23:
Pls sir, do you know the value in case I wish to sale it?

just go to the spare parts market and form say u wan buy, dey go tell u d price and den tell dem u get, not let dem no say u get before u price am o!, Good luck bro!

iliyande:
that's vehicle front hub. go to spare parts seller to confirm please.

brake disk! For BMW, not front hub mr man!

Na moto naa e be our problem abi, nor be power supply and fuel? Damn stewpid cont buhari

Dem dey bribe una with una own money make una vote for thief Na wa oooo, as I dey I nor get voters card and I nor even wan get anything to do with such, it d world wan end, then let it end,simple

I said it once that stupid buhari enter e don pinish por ebrybody, kwarrect!!!

Stupid Nigerians again #no offence but thaats the truth how can u welcome a thief, (fela suffering and smiling) those greedy bastards are the one eating all our money and putting us in hardship and therefore we are dying without even realising it this fuel scarcity over the past one week what did the human goat do about it, the lighting conditions what is the human goat doing about it? WAKE UP NIGERIANS, YOU NEED TO TAKE YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS AAND SMELL THE ROSES

Almost going

NewIdeas:
U never serious to sell this car.Reduce the price.

I just put the price there my oga, it is very negotiable as stated,

Keep the calls up, great people of nairaland

Plz call oooo