₦airaland Forum

livedit:
Your welcome! And thank YOU so much!    This is very nice to know.  This will be my first and last wedding through the grace, love and mercy of God so I'm happy as can be. But sooooo nervous, OMG, But thank you Jesus for blessing me with a very patient, caring and understanding wedding planner!

Omo this love na die sha. . Bros J i thank you for livedit's husband oh. . Please lemme book my own down now-to be collected in the next 7/8 years. P.s-livedit,congrats in advance. Double P.s-how we go take chop the rice na?

[quote author=Mrs.Chima link=topic=585080.msg7524357#msg7524357 date=1294937056]You silly. Of course she is in love. The pre-honeymoon stage and honeymoon stage are the juiciest part of any union.[/quote]And then reality sets in,no? Well,love is a beautiful thing sha. Let those who can enjoy it do so.

@Topic,cause=Mental problem/psychological defect. Effect=Pain and deep emotional scars. Control=Lock the animal up in a tiny,tiny cell for the next 10 to 20 years. Prevention=Identify misogynists and men with other psychological problems early in life. Don't wait for there to be a victim first.

livedit:
Being in love is the most joyous, thrilling and happiest experience in a person's life! I think it's awesome! Granted, you are in love with the "right" person who also shares the same feelings and emotions as well. And when you are with that "right" person and "everything" is in order, marriage should definitely be included in the plans.

Really? I'll have to take your word for it. P.s-Somebori's in loff oh. .

[quote author=Mrs.Chima link=topic=585108.msg7523806#msg7523806 date=1294932974]Why are you watching me and how would one humble thyself by feeling sorry for young girls?  Are you on some kind of drug that need to be removed?[/quote]He must be smoking the wrong weed. Dude needs to get clean and accept Jesus before whatever's left of his brain fries. @OP,why do you hate women?

@Koolchico,to each his own. I like guys who are unblemished. Anyways,igbo boys don't have tribal marks so i'm golden. .

Thanks! Some people call it steady/responsible(which equals boring),but like you,i prefer to call it having a good head on my shoulders! I wouldn't say i need the money per se,but i really,really want that laptop. I guess i could get someone to buy it for me(after some serious begging. . Lol),but for some reason,i seem to be stuck on this idea of a job,on doing something by myself without having to ask anyone for anything. Now to your tips. I can't bake so that's out of it. The cyber-cafe thing sounds good but i'll have to talk to my dad first. When he hears cyber cafe he thinks yahoo boys and police raids. I'll ask him anyway. I dont think a secondary school leaver can teach Junior Sec. School(i heard you need at least an N.C.E degree or something for Jss and a university degree for Sss). As for teaching primary schools,that's not a bad idea. . I'm a good public speaker(think debates/quizzes etc)so i think that could work too. The negative side is,they don't pay very well. The ones i asked about were paying between 5 to 10k a month and they're not near my house so i'd have to take a bus. Verry nice ideas though,Uju. Keep 'em coming!

Soul mate ko,Soul mate ni. Too much Days of our lives/Mexican soaps are the cause of the problem. 'We're meant to be','We are destined to be together'. . Those words irritate me everytime i hear them. P.s-Obviously,i do not believe in the soulmate principle.

koolchicco:
What has tribal marks got to do with love/date?

Before you can date someone,you have to be attracted to them first,no? More often than not,it's the physical qualities that first attract you,like dayummn,he's got a haWWT bod,a killer smile etc or she's pretty or whatever after which you get to know the person and then you're like oh he has a kind heart or whatever and you're further attracted to the person's character. If(like me),tribal marks are a turn off,you'd never be attracted to the person in the first place. If you're not attracted to the person,you can't date him. If you don't date him,you can't fall in love with him. It's all connected.

Ok so i just realized that i need a job. I've been staying at home for a few months,doing absolutely nothing(apart from house chores and whatnot) and school isn't resuming until March(or even later). I need a laptop but my dad won't buy me one-he seems to think that if i save up and buy one with my own money i'll take better care of it. He thinks this is a great chance to teach me financial responsibility(i really,rEALLy hate those two words). I live in Nigeria and we don't have that culture of summer jobs so i've never really worked in my life-my money comes from allowances/dashes from relatives(i'm a natural saver). Now that i've decided i need a job,the problem is which one to do. My parents okayed the idea so i got a job at a weavon/attachment wholesale shop but i quit after three(actually two) days. I'm not lazy-i swear to God,i'm not,but the work was back-breaking! I did some research on the topic and i've learnt that the best thing to do is to think of a service that people in my society need and see whether i can do it for them,for a reasonable price of course. The only thing i can come up with is baby-sitting;i do that all the time but no one is gonna pay me for that. I have good money skills-i'm great with numbers and i've got a great memory. I read a lot too,but i don't think that counts as a skill. So please,i want practical suggestions that can actually work in Naija.

@Topic,no i can't date someone with tribal marks. He doesn't have to be Mr. World,but at least he'd have to be someone i can look at without gagging. @OP,turn him down but don't mention the tribal marks. What purpose would that serve? Tell him you're not ready for a relationship just yet,you just don't like him that way or whatever.

Err. . Heck no! It's like asking me whether i could die for/with my boyfriend. Did we come to this world together that we will leave it together or at least take the risk of leaving it together if something goes wrong during surgery?

Ewww. . Older guys are gross. Unless it's Banky W/Chris Attoh. Then i'd be interested.

Did they(the writer) forget the 'Whether na one million' part? Anyway,with this song Waje and M.i're smiling to the bank with their millions. .

@Chiogo,she said they didn't use ANY protection. She said it wasn't planned;she just went to his place(alone,no less), and one thing led to another. @Jenny,i do know that at some point we have to tell her people,it's just that i want her to be the one to do it. I can't just tell on her.

@Chaircover,ultimatum? Like if you don't tell them,i will? I can't tell on her naa-i'm not a snitch.

harakiri:
@poster. . . This issue is very sensitive but i think her ppl are in d best positn to handle it. What baffles me is that inspite of the serious awareness being directed at THE YOUTHS concerning A.I.D.S and early pregnancy, ppl still choose to strafe without condom. Na wa ooo! People get liver no be small.

I swear that's the most painful part of it. Why the heck couldn't she protect herself? I just cannot wrap my mind around the utter foolishness of the whole thing. She could have gotten Hiv. She could've signed her own death warrant. Kai. . Smh. . Her people are in the best position to help,but as she's not ready to talk,what am i supposed to do? I can't tell on her-i'm not a snitch.

Sense of humor oh. . Aint nuthin hawtter than a guy who can make me laugh. Although intelligence is up there too-a funny i.diot wouldn't cut it either. Guess it's a tie between intelligence and a good sense of humor.

[quote author=Mrs, Eve link=topic=583683.msg7509242#msg7509242 date=1294760026]I can see Jaybee calling her now!

Jaybee: Hello, may I speak to the naughty woman that bleeped my friend husband?
Chick: Who is this? How did you get my number?
Jaybee: I am a moderator of a Nigerian site and some deranged chick posted your number saying you bleeped her husband.
Chick: I bleeped plenty of husband can you be more specific?
Jaybee: Damn!  So you into bleeping husbands?  Do you deal with guys that are not married?
Chick: How much money you got?
Jaybee: Hmm.  (hangs up the phone)[/quote]Haha. . Lwkmd. . The funniest part of this is when the chick says 'I've screwed plenty of husband can you be more specific?'. Hehe Now that's some funny ish. .

Haha. . There are big hand-bags and there are BIIIG hand-bags. I for one do not like carrying all those hand bags that are big enough for a small baby to fit into. If i wanted a travelling bag,i'd buy one.

@Chaircover,i can see it already. . They'd give me Solitary to reduce the risk of contamination. . . P.s-Solitary(as in solitary confinement)= No phone,No T.v,No computer,No games and of course,No visitors. . I'm dying already. . . The main reason why i don't want to tell them is because telling them=telling her parents,and i feel her parents should hear it from her. But the guy's parents are okay financially. They can afford to take care of a child. Heck,my friend's parents can afford to take care of a child too(bills,baby food,clothes,schooling etc).

@Topic,Ehn? Please translate. .

@Chaircover,but my own case is special naa. . I could never be in this situation,at least not at this point in my life. And i can't just go and tell my dad/mom because they'd tell her parents straight away. I do tell my parents everything(within reason). Besides it's not about me so they don't really have a right to the info anyway. As it is now,i have to keep it to myself,at least until she figures out what to do. I'm just verry grateful that the guy didn't deny it or anything because that would've crushed her.

OAM4J:
gross!

seconded!

Ujujoan:
My dear no vex abeg.    

I nor vex. . . . At least no be you dey make me vex. The whole thing jus dey provoke me. . I caNNOT understand why the heck she didn't protect herself. What if (God forbid) he had a disease? Then it would be Hiv mata. . S.tupid girl. . Mscheewww. .

@Naijafrend,she doesn't hate kids per se,she just doesn't like them very much. She thinks they cry too much,they're too fussy and she just doesn't have the patience to deal with them. They don't like her either. Not to blow my own trumpet or anything,but i'm great with kids. I babysit a lot,i've been vomited on,peed on,i know how to hold a baby properly;little things like that,things she has no clue about. That's why i said she's not really the maternal type. And you're getting me completely! She wants someone to tell her what to do and i can't because later down the road,i'll be blamed!

Busta:
@ Poster,

Since u guys are pretty close, you ahve to be there for her and support her in whatever decision she makes but at the same time, you have to draw a line. Do not, I repeat do not raise the issue of her going for an abortion. If that's what she wants to do, let her make that decision and if she wants to keep the baby, let her make that decision as well and respect it . . .afterall, you were not there when they were macking each other. She shld have been more careful like u said earlier but hey, the deed is done.

Personally, I am pro choice on abortion but let her make that decision for herself since that is the way she made her bed.

And that's why i'm feeling really conflicted. I'm pro-life/anti-abortion/whatever you want to call it. I know that being there for her is the right thing to do,and i want to do that,i really do(even though i'm really pissed),but i also have to remain true to who i am and what i believe in. How do i reconcile being supportive with having to deal with a possible abortion?

Knight1:
@poster
you and her should tell either of your mums, preferably yours so she can convey it gently to her friend (if they are that close), meanwhile she should be prepared to lose one yr in school. let her defer or something and then prolly give up the baby for adoption and continue with her life!!!
btw
you write really well, hope u arent going to waste that talent on medicine or engr

You know right now i'm just giving it time,waiting to see what she comes up with. And yes,i do write(like fiction,poems etc). . How did you know? Sadly,i'm reading Ecostat + writing ICAN exams. . My dad prolly wouldn't pay my school fees for Creative writing/English/Journalism/whatever anyway. . Hehe. . . . Writing's just a hobby.

Ujujoan:
@ OP

I still don't know how your friend being pregnant affects you. Shebi na she go carry the pregnancy na?

It affects me because she wants me to tell her what to do. It affects me because she wants me to keep it a secret. It affects me because i have to see her mom very often and i don't know how to look her in the eye knowing what i know. It affects me because by getting knocked up she's destroyed an ideal. And mostly because as much as i want to shrug it off(afterall,it's her wahala),i have to deal with her. I can't just ignore her/cut her out. She's looking for someone to tell her what to do and i'm not going to do that-i don't want anybody blaming me or saying 'i did what you told me to do' later on.

@190,if i'd left it at my friend,a lot of people would've automatically assumed it was me. Even after specifically clarifying the issue,some people still think it's me. I don't need advice on what to do about the pregnancy because i don't have a bun in my oven. I need advice on how to treat her,and how to get over my disappointment/confusion/anger with what's she's done and deal with the situation constructively. If you want to think it's me though,that's okay. You have my blessing. .