₦airaland Forum

What exactly do you want? If the complaint is that ladies are getting money from guys, I guess you would want people giving you money as well?

I can't dictate how any guy spends his money but male or female, I don't think anyone should want to be a liability to others.

We know all fingers are not equal. Some people have rich parents and were probably able to afford more things growing up, and we can't fault them for it. We all take our situation and look to make the best of it.

PrimadonnaO:
Please, folks in the house, what's the deal, really?

Why are many Nigerians seemingly averse to the option of adopting kids? Even when they've been waiting years to have kids of their own biologically?

Personally, I seem to be overcome with the idea of adoption. I'd love to have just one child biologically, then adopt one or two others.

But why is it a big deal in Nigeria?

I know the process is filled with lots of protocol. But is that such a deterrent?

Is it expensive, financially?

Is it really hard to love a child that's not your flesh and blood?

I think part of the answer to your question here is found in your desire to have one child of your own as you explained here too.

We agree on the benefits of adopting a child but you still have the desire to have yours, which is totally fine. As someone with AS genotype, I've always wondered why I have to worry about a potential spouse's genotype when we could adopt all the way but I do understand that idea is not popular among many.

At the end, to a large extent, I think we're products of our cultures and the beliefs around us, regardless of how much we try to make ourselves believe we are unique and totally think for ourselves.

Emiwill:
Thanks! How’s my accent? Lol

Lol it's not the traditional southern drawl. Please don't judge me haha. Though to be fair, I moved from the east coast a couple of years ago and have come to realize the big Texas cities have a mix of people from everywhere so, y'all's accent is all over the place

It's so fascinating visiting the more rural Texas cities or even in Louisiana, comparing people in New Orleans to like Lafayette area.

Sorry you had to go through making a video. As you might have read/heard, there's probably a higher level of distrust of unfamiliar people in Nigeria because of past stories and experiences.

Hope you find what you're looking for now that people can believe you!

Emiwill:
Nice! I’m in Texas. Specifically, DFW area. A long ways from California.

Hey! I'm in Texas as well. Not looking to date (26 yr old and looking to move from the south soon anyway) but if you wanted one more Nigerian friend in the area or someone to vouch for you, I could probably recognize the southern accent if you have it on a phone call.

Needless to say, I don't need your money either if that's your worry.

While I personally believe in working as a unit and the wife being able to help the husband in all areas, I find it somewhat ironic that men have issues with a lady possibly refusing to help financially, even though the men hardly help with household chores, cooking, and taking care of kids.

If you believe your wife should be splitting financial responsibilities, wouldn't it makes sense that you also split the household responsibilities down the middle?

TSBO:
Just curious. Which scripture?

I think the big one a lot of people reference is 1 Tim. 5:8

As many here have said, you should consider seeing a therapist, especially since it appears you could afford one.

Respectfully, some of the information you typed comes off as ethnic self-hate and I think your idea of a western mindset might be flawed as well. Caucasians are not a monolith. Some actually enjoy African movies, some are not outdoorsy and don't care about nature. Many are in Europe and don't speak English, speaking their own tongues as well. You also seem to have a distrust of the marriage institution based on your past experiences, even though there are obviously success stories.

I think a therapist could help you explore if there are really attributes you are looking for in a spouse (which could be present in any woman regardless of race), or if you feel inferior as a Nigerian and why that might be the case.

Good Luck!

orohbiro:
Good day guys, I met this girl 2019 July on my way back from work I approach her ask her out and the rest was history. we began dating I fell in love with her though I never demand for sex until October last year wish she refuse telling me she loves me that this is not the right time to do it. this is the same girl I have spend almost 47thousand naira on her head even her pant I haven't seen since we have been dating, so yesterday she came to my place we were talking from there I touch her breast rub her lap i was really excited she was about to let me in but this girl told me it was not the right time, I plead with this girl almost on my kneels this girl still turn me down and worst still the idiot is not a virgin she told me she has had it just once. she left my house am thinking of putting drug in her drink so that I can have my way because my money I have spent on her can't go like that please I need your advise please. am loosing patient

This is reallyyy troubling - not just the post, but also the responses from some people that seem to be accepting of this. Do you not realize that drugging someone for sex is rape? How is that even an option? Even if she was visibly drunk and accepted your offer for sex, it would still be rape if you knew she was drunk because she is incapable of giving consent at that point. If a mentally stable, unintoxicated adult does not clearly consent to sex with you, it is rape!

I have other concerns here such as how it appears you had just been trying to buy her body, or name calling someone you claim to love because you were denied sex, but all that seems trivial now when you are contemplating rape here.

buddwizer:
Actually Johnson and Johnson is currently the best of them out right now. It's effective against most of the new variants compared to Moderna and Pfizer.
And again, you probably don't understand he concept of this efficacy completely. Do you know that even the annual flu shot is most time not even up to 50% effective.

lol I'm not sure how serious you are right now, but I was just making a joke oh. I mentioned that I will receive any vaccine that's available and I also had the emoji at the end of my message . If the FDA says it's fine, I'm using because as you noted, you're right and I don't have an intricate knowledge of the subject. That's why we rely on doctors and the increasing number of studies becoming available to us.

At this point after holding off on my travel plans, I just want to be able to visit other countries without worrying about possibly being required to quarantine.

What kind of problem is this now?

The reality of life is that single men reach out to single women, and that's how relationships typically begin. On NL, the problem is there are so many keyboard warriors insulting and demonizing the other gender, or being incredibly rude in their messages.

As of today, I've not sent messages to any ladies on here but if I sent a polite message to someone I believed to be single and she chose to publicize, it says more about her than it does about me. I'm a single 20 something; even Jesus will be happy with me that I'm trying to find a good thing.

If it's virginity for women, wouldn't it be virginity for men as well?

You could argue the same way rich men make the assumption they could get most ladies, very gorgeous ladies could make the assumption they could turn the heads of most guys as well.

DEMZEE:
First of all, men and women are fundamentally not equal. Feminism is demonic and a very useless ideology. Women are not built for leadership.

Now as for status, our society is open to polygamy. Men must become and are judged based on their burden of performance.

Women prioritize money, status and looks wen mate selecting. Men prioritize looks, youthfulness, fitness, fertility, submissiveness,cooperativity,femininty and compliance wen mate selecting......high value men especially prioritize these qualities.

No high value man looks at old women for relationships

I think about even conservative Christian beliefs about the gender roles and while the belief is that men are the head of their families with their wives meant to submit, it's likened to Jesus submitting willingly to His Father even though the Bible stresses many times that They are equal.

So, I'm really curious about your statement that men and women are not equal. Respectfully, how do you come up with that?

Zzor:
I don't like it when a guy has money before and doesn't have again, its a big turn off, since you started the relationship based on money please try and continue having that money so as to avoid problems

So, I don't agree with a relationship being transactional (basically sex for money). But, I've seen guys lead with their perceived wealth so often and then act surprised that the lady only wants you for that reason.

If a lady didn't like you before, then you showed her your account, bought her gifts, did nothing else different and afterwards, she said yes to your advances, why exactly do you think she is saying yes to you?

I'm in the line for my state to get it.

But after being in line now for over 2 months, I am just as worried about finally getting to the front of the line and then somebody gives me AstraZeneca or Johnson & Johnson with their 70% effectiveness.

I'll probably still accept it, but will first complain and ask for other options

GuyWise101:
Nna mehnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

Big guys are out there, I can gift you 350k.

Lol this is like me saying I can be president.

Maybe theoretically you can, but you won't. So, why announce it?

I'm not a woman but would advise you to get closer to the reasonable men you already know (married or unmarried). If they are truly reasonable, you wouldn't have to worry about them making moves on you while they are in relationships.

But there's likely to be a lot more reasonable men around them that would notice you, or who could introduce like minded friends to you.

HooJoon:
Makes no sense! It's completely immature

I agree with this. Once you give out a gift, it is no longer your property except it was a conditional gift clearly given in anticipation of something. I know a number of places have laws around conditional gifts to make sure for instance that a lady returns an engagement ring if they ended up not getting married.

McSquishi:
Women in Europe are not dying for companionship anymore than the average woman in Nigeria. Scammers usually choose women who are physically less desirable and usually aged. Those women are trying to find young poor men who can they can lure with money, control and exploit for sex and sometimes they get scammed on that mission.

Nobody is lacking companionship over rape allegations � not one man has stopped dating out of fear of being called a rapist. stop the madness.

In general, my experience has been that in Europe, it's not as popular to find the sort of community you see in many parts of Nigeria where people know the names of everyone on their streets and you visit people without calling ahead.

That being said, I don't believe it affects ladies any differently from the guys. Reading through the thread in general, some people are trying to claim a cultural superiority in Nigeria because the culture in Europe generally does not subjugate women. So, of course, if you physically threatened or hit your wife, you have to leave the house for a while, or the system acknowledges that a spouse is typically the backbone supporting a person's financial success and therefore, the wealth is divided if they split. I can see how that threatens our general beliefs in Nigeria and I think people are just clinging to the perceived superiority of the general Nigerian culture.

IjeBos:
Live Alone
House = $4000
Phone bills for 2 = $100
Home internet/Cable = $200
Groceries = $300
Auto Insurance = $200
Utilities = $400 avg (elec/ water/ gas heat in the winter)
Daycare x 2 = $0
Fuel = $160
Lawn Care = $100
Home insurance = $200

Total is $5,660. doesn't include eating out and household maintenance expenses (cleaners, dry cleaning etc, health insurance, clothing, meals during the day at work, etc. etc.)

Location, big city Northeast USA.

The house price living along seems relatively high outside of NY and CA. Is this for a one bedroom?

Also, you mentioned you are in biomed. Did you have to get student loans, or have many years of experience in your field?