₦airaland Forum

bushdoc9919:
Welll....

Inasmuch as I think the NNPC and the Petroleum Ministry are both corrupt as corrupt can be...it is

1.Not necessarily a crime to keep money in your house.

2.Unless there is proof the kudi came from the Govt's accounts......then we can safely assume that Madam is innocent.

Still...bears looking into.And the NNPC must be cleaned up.

Ur an I.diot for making this silly comment. Stealing is not corruption says ur clueless paymaster.
Tanoids supporting corruption since 1800...

This pics was shared by kayode Ogundamisi on his bbm display pics. With the caption
"The Eagle has landed! Let the corrupt shiver!"

Olufemiolaolu:
Jobless prick

RIP to ur sense of humour

Good morning everyone, am just waking up.......

*yawns*
Abeg who get sugar and milk? I wan take custard.

dozydollar:
in my PPA an SS3 boy impregnated a copper

A moment of silence for this lie of the century.

These are the corrupt corpers giving we the good corp members a bad name. I teach SS1-3 chem and geog, and am the form teacher of ss3 but never a day ve I looked at a female student twice. Shame on this corper guy. U lack discipline. Not even an ss3 student, an SS1 student... And u were dumb enough to do it without protection..... Wonder which schl u grad from, cos ur a dullard and a clueless guy.

No advice from me on what he shld do. Cos I stand for what's right, and what seems right here is to accept the pregnancy, I don't support murder, instead I preach safe sex.

fujirice:
Did you read the writeup? Smh

I should be asking u that Q

chillingbabe:
GBAM ..The earlier most people get this into their brains,the better.

U can say that again

bolivnnaija:
Yeah! I agree totally.
But something tells me, this is Super Story!

The moral of this OP is to never keep touch with an ex. Its too risky and not advisable

bolivnnaija:
Yeah! I agree totally.
But something tells me, this is Super Story!

Weda its super story or not, the moral of the story is "thou shall not keep contacts with an ex". #Shikena

Nigeria president goodluck jonathan wasting money just to impress nigerians because of 2015 elections. Why didn't he award the ones that won in 2012 and 2013? This act of deperation by the president is suspicious. He sure is a great deceiver.

Thunder will fire any lady or man who is still in touch with his or her ex. Ex's are evil, stay away from them. U ve no business been friends or in communication with an ex.

sunylee1:
You better join the winning team before it is too late.
By the way, where is Buhari?

U mean buhari wants to pull a yar adua on nigerians?

barcanista:
No kobo was involved.

Hope it pays off come march 30th when the results must ve been announced

barcanista:
I've never been a "die hard" supporter of apc but a patriot that want good for my country. I had to retrace my step after seeing through the APC fraud and the undemocratic attributes of broom wavers, coupled with the influx of the "Old PDP" of 1999-2010 into APC with their subsequent control of the party. Of a truth GEJ may not be the "perfect" but with him we have hope of change(note the word hope). So I gladly returned to the Umbrella just like Nuhu Ribadu.

As for political "ashawo" Buhari was ANPP, left ANPP to form CPC, and returned to his ANPP to form APC. Lol...

Sai Jonathan

So ur tryin to tell me that ur Porting from APC to PDP is basically based on Self relection and personal realisation that u ve been on the wrong path? Or is it based on money changing hands
Well, Nigerian politics stincks I tells ya. People are only driven by their selfish desires not the common good of the common man. May God help our youths.

barcanista:
Even the Northern Youths are singing the PDP song. May God grant Buhari long life. We need Buhari to live on so as to Advice the President Goodluck Jonathan on several issues till 2019.

Talk about a Political prostitute and Barcanista comes to mind. Shame no dey catch u.......

From die hard APC to a PDP supporter overnight. Ur sense of judgement is appalling

ismokeweed:
I sure. Those men like to do love. He is not from uniben... mba

Am currently serving too, am smart enough to know that camp romance is short lived. It has expiry date once u leave camp. Its sad to read how a corp member like me committed suicide because of one otondo female corper. He shld ve known better. RIP to him sha. He will collect his discharge certificate there in heaven or hell.

Am proud to say my Gf is both 5 (fidelity bank) and 10 (guaranty trust bank).

Cyberbaze:
I am too scared to read the whole story. I just read the first paragraph. Please can you explain others to me?

Lazy student. Don't go and read it, be waiting for who wil read it for u

standd:
•
Standd. On Love and a typical Nigerian.
© 2015

All rights reserved ®

****

By now you know I am a Nigerian- Born, 'bread' and 'ewa-agoined' in Lagos, Nigeria.

And oh, I have been in love, with people, places and the good things of life. Now to the topic of discourse..

I once told my friend that when a Nigerian talks about love, he never really understands love in the context of relationship and marriage.
Even our ancestors did not buy into the sham called love in the contexts mentioned above...

****
200 years ago, in one remote village in Nigeria...
Bala went on a journey to a land far away, and returned home with 18year old maiden named yejide. No questions asked, no fanfare, no useless and unnecessary profession of love and whatnot, no shawarma, no trips to the mall, no lies...
Bala and his maiden bride, lived happily ever after.
Bala became a successful cocoa farmer, with 12-15 children sired from his loins...
Let us not forget that Bala probably married other wives and never slacked in his duties as a husband, father and head of the home...
Bala probably never mouthed the word love, yet he lived with his wives in peace and contentment.

****
Two years ago, Lekki, Nigeria.

Freda met Jude inside one of the many shops at Spar...

'Cheiii, see this clean guy, designers from specs to shoes, nice hair-cut, sweet skin-tone...God pls let him look at him...oh God! I love him already'

Freda mused within while pretending not to see Jude. She then stylishly turns her backside to him, ensuring that her well proportioned 'Ukwu' is in Jude's line of vision.

Then the Ukwu catches Jude's eyes...(Pls note, the Ukwu, not Freda's character, caught Jude's eyes)

'Oh my god! Baba, see yansh, if I no knack this babe, make I die...na my food be this one'

Meanwhile, Jude has a fiancée, a girlfriend at his work-place, a side-chick and Chinwe, the FWB.

So, Freda meets Jude and in the course of talking and gisting, they mention LOVE a thousand times, over and over again.

They exchange pings and buzzes, send a million emojis, Jude dazzles Freda with his cash and swag while Freda swings from cowgal to 'kukere' on the king-sized bed.

Pls, don't ask me what Jude and Freda are up to right now...We all know Jude will not get married until he is nearing 60, when there are a million Fredas asking for his 'Love' and then maybe there's no job ( Ok, pls blame Jonathan) or perhaps Freda's wife-material can barely sew a blouse ( forget the love they claim to share) or maybe, just maybe, one pastor somewhere saw a vision that Jude's wife is fair-skinned...If Freda is dark-skinned, then love will frizzle into thin air...

And Freda just realized she is nearing 40 and her biological clock is about to crash ( No, she can not change the battery)... So she no longer loves Jude...

Oh! She even blocked him on whatsapp...end of story.


****
2 weeks ago, somewhere in Nigeria, two people meet on an online forum and 'fell' in 'love'.
They exchanged PMs, flirt and cat-fished each other to Jerusalem and back. Then finally, they meet...

Boy: Oh! You are so lovely. I love you so much. I will marry you. I feel like I have met you since forever.

Girl: I love you too. Yes, I will marry you.

Boy: I love you

Girl: I loved you first.

Boy: I love you.

Girl: I love you and I want you.

Boy: I love you.

Girl: I love you ( insert 'kiss' smiley ten times).

They have sex (though they say it's making love).
They profess love over and over again like mentally-challenged oafs.
****
Three years later, they are still dating...Ten years later, their engagement and wedding ring, lay in chibuzor's shop in Balogun market, waiting to be bought.

And they keep on dating and dating and dating till eternity....


****
Okay, for some gals- love equals how many shawarma you can buy, and how much you have to spend. For some, they will love you by washing your entire house, cooking Onugbu, Ogbolo, Masa, Jollof rice, and cat-fish pepper soup just to increase their wife-material...

Some men will love you only when your yansh is in the air, and you will hear them yelling their love as they cum all over your destiny.

Some will love with all their heart, introduce you to their folks, help you loosen your dirty braids, and even buy you a BB Z200...But please, love will not stop them from slapping your mouth till you bleed if you irk them a bit or straffing the gal down the street.

*****
Nigerians are good people, they look out for each other, welcome strangers, they help the old to cross busy roads, return 12 million naira found in Airport toilets. Nigerians are hard working, peaceful and very open. But please, can we all go back and ask our aged folks, elders and kinsmen what they said in place of 'love'.

Because as it is...
Our brand of LOVE in Nigeria can barely cross from Osun to Nnewi.

Our brand of LOVE sees and appreciate facial beauty to character.

Our brand of LOVE do not respect poor husbands but can take kicks and blows from rich husbands. Forget the lies about staying for the children, if Baba Biliki was a Vulcanizer, you will not think twice before kicking his ass out.

Our brand of LOVE do not understand marriage vows, some would say the vow today and drive to pekas tomorrow to pick up the 'fair sisters'.


I am NOT sorry to say this, love in the context of relationships and marriage is not a Nigerian thing. My opinion...


Sometimes, a man will genuinely love a gal but then the guy's mother who is from Anambra will not let him bring a Delta girl home... Not even a gal from Imo. They can love from Gaza to Namibia, love in Nigeria do NOT cross boundaries!

But surprisingly, a Nigerian Man can bring home his ancestors age-mate from the United States, and his mother will forget that Texas is farther than the city in Ogun state where she had earlier rejected the bride that dared to love her son.

They say love in Tokyo, not love in Nigeria after all.

****
Then if the guy is unlucky enough to be Hausa, and the gal's father is a very 'holy' Man of God...Then, they should fling their love in the nearest lagoon....In my country, if you truly want to love when your traditions and folks are not smiling, you simply elope. Gather your mat and bride, and flee to Egypt...If you send foreign money some years later, they will forgive you and hop the nearest bus to find Western Union Money Transfer.


****
Still on the matter......Maybe,

40 years later, somewhere in the Mega city of Lagos, Nigeria. ( Yes, Nigeria..or you think there's Biafra and Arewa Republic? )

Amy meets Kamalu in the electric train plying Ikorodu to Berger....


Kamalu: How are you ma'am?

Amy: Fine, thank you.

Kamalu: Where are you from?

Amy: Nigeria.

Kamalu: Cool, me too. I work at Chevron.

Amy: I am a tailor.

Kamalu: It's a pleasure meeting you.

They exchange numbers and plan to meet again.

**
After about five dates....

Kamalu: You are really nice and homely, will you give me 3 babies?

Amy: *blushes* Why not?

Kamalu: Ok. Let's meet at Orions clinic. I will have them freeze my sperm. When you get there, just mention my name and they will collect your eggs.

Amy: Okay.

Deal sealed. No mention of love or marriage or all these yamayama lie lie things.

Lol (Pls, I wasn't laughing at all when I said that, the same way I don't feel anything when I type - 'I love you' )

Everyone is saying it, no be only me waka come.



****
Seriously, I really wish people can come out clean and define what they want from the get-go. You want to knack a gals bum, tell her (promise marriage and thunder will fire you).

You see a nice homey girl, groom her and table your desires before her, work on yourselves and take a vow to cherish and truly love..(Pls, you can not love Chinwe and Bola and Augusta and Sumaiya all at once, fear God na).

You want to attend pekas-fellowship and Ashewo-community your entire life, brother, pls do. Your kini is your own to use as you deem fit. But don't turn that gal who truly wants you into a tramp. And don't get married, if your kini has been ordained from heaven to render community-service. (There's no crime in staying single, don't mind the noise in the market)

You see a guy that you fancy, he fancies you too and starts to woo you. Decide what you want, do you want to settle with a man, or you desire you to be gang-messed by the entire male community, all in the name of 'big-gal', your name is on the register of every club..
You want to pull a Toke-Makinwa on every party organizer...
Pls, sister...decide what you want. It's your life after all.
But pls, don't get married if you still desire your ex's anaconda or you are not inclined to love and truly love.


*****
Yes..true love exist in Nigeria, as long as people still build and visit orphanages, give to the poor, help the helpless and homeless, look out for neighbours and basically, show love and respect others.

But shouldn't we all be thinking more of mutual-respect, trust, loyalty, self-respect/preservation, moral values and mutual-interests...instead of professing LOVE that we don't even understand.

Shouldn't we be asking our 'fathers' what they told our 'mothers' back in the days before the 'oyinbos' crossed the rivers to land on our shores.

Choiiii!

'Megida, I love you so much'
Meanwhile, what she loves is his looks, his cars, his cash and his spending-abilities'

'Rebecca, I will never leave you for any other'
Meanwhile, his spirit already left his body to visit Mary.. and the desk in his office is scarred with the indents of several female butt-shapes.

How do we all mouth 'I love you' in Nigeria and still manage to keep a straight face.


Even the not-so-good-looking Sister Mary in DLCM is nearing 50, and no man has seen her in his dreams or approached her. Pls, we know the Holy-spirit does not discriminate, so tell me, why is Sister Mary not married! Why?


Love kooo, love niiiii...
Say you like me and I'll smile and say thank you but you meet me today and you say you LOVE me and you are a NIGERIAN....
*Blood of Jesus*




******
This is my opinion....Comments and contributions are welcome.
Please like and share.
Thank you.

Visit my blog:
Chesapeakesblues

****
Standd,
Feb, 2015.

After reading every line to d end, all I can say to u is

I Love You........ Ur damn so creative. Kudos

ismokeweed:
From edo state? How disgusting. We don't breed such pvssies. He must have schooled in the west.

He schooled in france

betterabia:
if i know what will change the situation, i will do it.

I wish I cld help

betterabia:
YES. i have proof. i am directly affected.

are u planning on doing something about it?

betterabia:
Monumental Corruption At Federal Medical Center Umuahia

contractor have not been paid for one year

Chief Medical Director is stealing lots and lots of money

Do u ve proof? Am in umuahia

englishmart:
na so, your head dey there

Loll. Biko is this an insult or just a typical naija cliche?

Ok

barcanista:
This is a better approach. Nigerians can get the desired Change through the Goodluck led PDP

So u be PDP e-rat now? La wa o

for what na? we havent finished wit boko haram na ISIS?

Chizzy20:
Hmm well, it hasnt happened to me so i really cant say.

Wrong answer. Yes or no?

Its better than cheating. Buut if she can hold body she shld.

*my 2 cent*