₦airaland Forum

Albertone:
If you sight a high value man, what if he doesn't approach you because he doesn't consider you worthy? He has many options you know.
But if you lower your standards, you have better chances. He now has narrower options so, you may be easily noticed.

As for me, I don't need to lower my standards to meet high value women. I simply approach her.
Example: You can want a very smart and funny man but guys in that category are not coming to you. I can want certain qualities too in a woman, all I need to do is to keep approaching women of those qualities. I have better chances that way.

We mostly do the approaching, you mostly do the acceptance. You can't accept what didn't come to you.


And yes, intelligent, funny Nigerian men are high quality and rare. Why are you finding it difficult to get one if they are scattered everywhere?



What if Dat berry is not Bored afterall? 🤔

You're being hypocritical tho.

I was born 2003, I approach men I like. There's nothing wrong. You shouldn't assume I'm timid.

Your advice is wrong. I'm not desperate to be in a relationship, if I was, I wouldn't be single despite having many options. Why do I need to settle for less? Would you?

In other words, I should give up on finding someone who's my mister right cause he doesn't exist, especially not in Nigeria.

Vyzz:
Hmmm


You are right...


You really bore people easily. How are you gonna make friends with an attitude like that?

What makes you think that? Have you spent a day with me? Have we had s conversation? You just assumed. Typical.

LikeAking:
Traditional Religion is the way.. There is no need to write long espitles to convence anyone.

NL members with traditional knowledge, please take the stage, feel free to enlighten us.

What do you believe tho? I'm interested in Yoruba deities.

budaatum:
As in, dreams are subject to the individual, as opposed to objective where a snake means the same thing always.

I tell you, it's very easy to identify those who exercise their brain and those who don't bother but think they know.

This is the point I'm trying so hard to make... My mum sometimes want me to interpret her dreams. I use her person to do so (if you understand)... If she sees snakes, she feels threatened. So I ask what's bothering her. It's not the same for me.

Vyzz:
You have lots of problems but the highest of them is that you consider yourself always right. Leggo

Precisely. I am right. You didn't ask any question, didn't try to know me... Just assumed I'm an introvert.

If I say Nigerian men are narrow-minded, I'm the bad person.

Ballzproblem2:
and how old do you think I am lol no much difference I try tell you something but since you no wan get sense leave am

F**k off. You can't even spell advising. Let's pretend I'm the one with the problem and you're not irredeemably stupid.

Techobeys:
“I’ll correct you” where’s the correction? Giving your own opinion to support what already said is not a correction. Correction is to say my information was false and you know the right one.

Also, people associating owls with certain things doesn’t make it the truth. People have taken time to study things and you expect us to throw their knowledge away over some nonsensical beliefs that people establish for themselves?

Life goes beyond beliefs and bias. Something has to be consistent and must correlate before it can be established as a general human attribute.

For us to establish anything, we have to take a careful study and not just follow what people belief.

So pardon me if I choose sigmund Freud’s point of view over yours. And do you even know what snake specify in dreams?

Maybe I misunderstood you...

My point is that people associate certain things with certain things... Doesn't mean sh**

Depending on your culture, snakes could represent good or bad... It's not constant. Just depends on the individual. A lot of people are scared of snakes, hence this belief they are bad. Dreams have meaning, not spiritual though. But you can't easy interpret a dream unless you really know the person. A snake in your dream might mean inner trouble, for me it might mean peace or something like that

Albertone:
Being your boyfriend feels like a chore. You have so much expectations about boys and the value you have to deliver is not commensurate with what you're expecting.

A guy who will meet your standards will be a high value man, a hot cake. He will have ladies chasing after him, he will have many options. You will need to prove yourself worthy of him choosing you. With all you've said, I don't think you stand a chance.

Don't worry about your high standards. As you progress in age, the standards will drop. I know of a 40-something year old Nigerian nurse in UK. She came home and was willing to marry any man, divorced, widowed, already have 5 kids, is broke, is 10 years younger.... just any man.

So? Are you trying to intimidate me? I know personally, we were kinda friends so this is shocking. I guess you've lowered your standards too cause you're SCARED of meeting high quality women and not being good enough. If you're so insecure, fine. I'm not you.

So intelligent, funny Nigerian men are high quality and rare? Like, you don't even consider yourself one?

I'm not offended, just sad for you.

Vyzz:
You think you are difficult to understand mama? Nah you are just an Introvert.

You will learn to socialize more when you are desperate

I'm not an introvert. Someone who's considered the most cheerful, happiest, friendliest person by everyone she meets? I don't make friends cause it's hard to find people who like the things I do... I cut people off easy, that's my problem.

SenecaTheYonger:
Someone that hates themselves should not be in a relationship with anybody. You will only be a source of frustration to the guy

How do i hate myself? This is really disappointing coming from you, I kinda expected more. So if you feel a disconnect from your mates, it's because you don't love yourself? I have high standards, not wanting to settle with something I don't consider good enough should tell you something.

Khd95:
what you want is unrealistic because you are yet to state what you got to offer, you want a man that is funny and can retain conversations, imagine a lonely introvert who gets bored easily setting such high stand, work in your self first else you may be lonely for long

Men too want intelligent women who are realistic and are productive or reliable, you think all a man want us just pussy and breZZ, he wants someone who is boring to be around dear😂😂?

Right now most Nigerians wouldn’t date you, they will just Bleep you and dump you because you got nothing to offer, and you are pathetically boring,imagine you saying you don’t want a guy that’s about his hustle and his money, as if you got the money to spend on him.
Be realistic with what you want maybe you will get lucky

Again, this assumption I'm an introvert. Jesus christ. People like you are the reason I get bored easily. You're so dumb, I'll rather end alone than settle with your kind.

Nothing you wrote makes any sense. How do I'm unproductive? How do you know I'm boring? How do you know I can't offer everything I asked for?

Deny the fact that you're a Yahoo boy... Please do so.

Nairaland is full of stupid men, I don't even know why I came here seeking advice.

Techobeys:
Have your heard about Sigmund Freud?
He’s the father of psychoanalysis. He doesn’t think shabbily like what you’re doing. He understands that dreams have to be interpreted.

Dreams and trance happen during REM sleep and they must be interpreted. What Moses saw, he did in a dream or a trance and it needs to be interpreted.

A snake has its meaning in dreams. It’s sad that despite being in the 21st century you’re yet to be aware of simple facts like this.

What have you been doing with your life? Im sure you’ve been jumping from one social media to another and reading bias articles about God. Start thinking dear friend.

Go and buy text books on psychology and anthropology and sociology and read them with the Bible. I can recommend a few for you but you have to promise me that you will read them.

I'll correct you.

Depending on who's dreaming, a snake may mean evil or it may mean good... It doesn't mean one thing. We are all different. I believe Owls symbolise wisdom and good luck. Others associate them with witchcraft.

Who's wrong? No one.

Dtruthspeaker:
That is another mad devil who says that Jesus Christ is a Roman fabrication.

You are obnoxious. You are so venomous... So completely unlike Christ and therefore unchristian... I'm sure your hatred for the children God himself lovingly created has dried your body fat. You must be a gaunt miserable man. You think doing this would get you to heaven? Was Jesus not compassionate and merciful? Did he not teach his followers to tolerate, respect and forgive? Well, the devil knows his own.

Khd95:
Look at what she want somebody son to do for her when she can barely do half of that for her self😂😂😂

Boredom and loneliness gbuo gi dia

What do I want? Did you even read the post?

People like you are the reason I'm scared to date a Nigerian... This inability to reason, it's terrifying.

Berrityga:
The truth is that if same sex marriage is legalize in Nigeria we will find out 60% of our guys are bisexuals.

Everyone is gay, some are just more gay than others...

Trollronaldo:
lol, it's amazing how you people create figures from thin air

Like you

Trollronaldo:
research and study suggests otherwise.

Studies shows that 2/3 of homosexuals were influenced into doing it by environmental factors

What research? Link? Or you're a liar?

helinues:
It's actually a song I like to hear when I am out relaxing. The realm of the lyrics would be real after on rounds...

I haven't listened to the song, I'll definitely download it tonight... It's relatable.

Ballzproblem2:
am advicing you as a young girl ,get your priorities straight Nigeria is getting harder everyday by day and the thing that is entering your numbskull is boys

Like I said, we are not all unfortunate like you. If you had your priorities straight, you wouldn't be on my thread trying to prove a point... Your mates are hustling, you're here arguing with a nineteen year old girl. I have a future and that's something you can't relate to.

helinues:
Me singing I'm a mess by Omah Lay



Deep expression

That's interesting

omale88:
you are still quite young to understand these things, tho your mental age could be high up,its quite sad that most boys in your generation have no drills or skills in wooing a lady, all they know is shawarma,grills and bills.

And I hate them all. He can spend on any girl, I want him to treat me differently.

besides that they know nothing about compatibility,besides the physical compatibility aspect,back in the day we would rehearse lines, write poems just to try to get a lady unto our creative aspects,we only had dictionaries and sex was at the very least of what comes up in a conversation because we value friendship before getting intimate,but these days getting intimate isnt as sacred at it used to be,its not even a big deal.

Sex gets boring real quick. Why don't they do this? I've written poems for boys I liked but no one ever thinks maybe I would want one too (only one boy did though). Romance is dead. I think maybe there's one sensitive soul but I haven't met any under 30.

you are a smart lady to be able to know and figure these moods about you,but the question you need to answer is if your standards and your personality are in synch?if not it could be the reason for the conflict . you would need to find a balance between who you are and what you are becoming.the challenge with smart people is they overthink stuffs in return they override.and grow trust issues. stop trying to read people just let their acts of conversation appeal to you,fact is you are most likely to fall in love with people who are intellectually compatible to you.but that is not enough, since you are a smart girl I'll give you something to play with.its called biorhythm clock you can get it on Google play store,it took me a while to find this specific app due to its accuracy.this app would help you understand how connected or bonded you are to people based on certain domains.it would also let you get to know people before they get to know you.its not 100% acurate but you can trust 85% to work for you. also do not use it to judge people.good luck

Oh! I'll check it out tonight! Thank you. I'm curious

I'm still trying to figure out who I am and what I want... But I really don't want someone typical.

Ballzproblem2:
instead you go think about your future and where you will be you dey worry about relationship? children of nowadays 🤦

We are not all unfortunate like you and yrhuShfy113.

Narrow-minded things.

Obnoxious2001:
Advice I forgot I was supposed to give one....

However, it depends on personality.
From your write up, you will prefer to have friends who are very reliable irrespective of situation. (I think this is the major reason why I have fewer friends) .


Regardless, You will figure things out you just need time

I don't want reliable friends... I need friends who aren't simple/basic/predictable/boring/typical... A boyfriend too. Most Nigerians are stereotypical.

yrhuhfy113:
It is funny how someone who has this kind of mentality, wants any better in a man.

YOU CAN NOT EVEN LIVE WITH YOURSELF, you want somebody's son to be your shield and butler... c'mon GET A LIFE...

make money, upgrade your class and stop looking for a saviour outside Jesus Christ.


WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
20? AND THIS IS ALL YOU CAN THINK ABOUT... that will make you die alone... you are really not deep or mature enough for a relationship.

Do you not have school to attend, or jobs to get busy with?

You are lonely and toxic to yourself but you feel the USE of boyfriend is to alleviate you from your boredom... pls get a life.

this is 2023, if you have NOTHING TO OFFER THAN THIS... then men will use you and dump you and you will not be good enough to last 6 months in any relationship.

I'm sorry... The need for companionship makes me toxic? Being in a relationship takes away from me how? I can't be successful and have a boyfriend, right?

Obnoxious2001:
You are literally calling for shots .
Its normal to feel detached for a while (I feel the same).

But either way, dey play

Oh. I'm detached all the time. The older I get, the worse I feel.

omale88:
most nairalanders are sadists and envious,they suffer from borderline personality disorder and hate to stay on their lane,if they get the slightest idea that you are a show off or getting most of the attention they would want to steal the shine,if you dont agree with them you because an enemy.they are so pathetic no word can define the eerie feeling they dwell in,yet there are nice people on nairaland but most of those nice people are often muted by the n!nconpoops on this forum.to be frank i dont want to ever come across a nairalander except those i followed and those following me,my reasons cant be mentioned.

lol. Not all are bad but I wouldn't want to meet any. Nairaland is Nairaland... Real life is real life...

Omoalhaja77:
I doubt if all these guyz mentioned are still active here though

That's sad. Time is sad.

I need to know if I'm the only one or there are others who feel the same way... What I can do to get better...

So...

I'll be twenty soon (a few weeks) but I don't have much friends, never been on a date or even gone out, haven't been in a real relationship either. It's unusual cause it's very easy for me to meet new people and interact... But these days, I hate doing it. I have to force myself to have a conversation.

I don't know why I've changed. Last year, I only met one person who really interested me, unfortunately the relationship didn't work out. It's getting worse, I have no intention to putting myself out there to meet boys (I would really love to have a boyfriend) even though I'm so lonely.

I think it's because I have such high standards... I want a boy who would understand me. He should be funny and smart... I get bored easily so he has to capture my mind or I'll immediately lose interest. Someone sensitive but sure of himself. We would be able to talk about anything and everything. I hate people who are basic and it seems 80percent of Nigerian boys are just that... It's all about making money and being a hustler: Hennessy, iPhone and Benz... blah blah blah... They are disappointing.

I think I'm going to die alone... Aren't there pretty, intelligent boys in Nigeria? I need someone I'll get addicted to. I don't know if I should stop expecting so much...

If he doesn't exist on Nairaland, what other site can I find him?

Red02:
Op try compose yourself keep a very matured face especially, if you're in the streets.

What the person above me said is correct

He should force himself to frown because the people he interacts with are part of the 'misery loves company' crew. Right?

brightmorningst:
This is my nature.. if someone greets me for instance I'll smile when responding to you,I mostly do this with people I don't have any kind of grudge against in my heart. But when you get serious with me or telling me something important I don't smile sheepishly like a fool,I get sense na.

Whether it's dis my nature that's "kobalising" (affecting) me ni,I don't know,but I noticed most of the young people I met in university relate with me like their mate. I would have say it's Normal not until a 16 year old girl I met during the course of my registration who knows I'm way older than her started calling me by my name "Joshua" recently(she saw the year I finished sec school plus my age,the gap is much). Mehn I shock, I was like maybe it's cos I smile too much or I don dey relate with dis children too much.

I've had several students tell me I like smiling too much,but it's just me. Is there any way I can at least reduce this.?

Same here.

Random people I meet say I smile and laugh alot. Like, ALOT! I was voted most happy and most friendly! Which isn't true! Haha!

Seriously, there's nothing wrong. You come off as approachable and nice... You have no idea how much good that's done me... Seriously!

Just avoid idiots. If they think you're stupid cause you're a warm person, show them the other side of you...

I've shocked some people sha.

Just do and be you. Keep it real. Be authentic but don't toletrate bullsh**.

feranmi143:
Yo fish, no am not, always busy, just spend few mins up here to update my tread

Create a diary instead. You aren't updating this thread, derailing it rather. You can use your other account.

Ps: be mindful what you post here. You are very easy to find off Nairaland. Criminals could target you. You wouldn't want that.

dazzlingd:
This thread is not for low IQ people. Especially a lowly you

Thank you. The way that guy fights for his Middle eastern saviour.

feranmi143:
Yo fish, i had to switch to wifi cause mum is asking for a grandson when i don't even have a girlfriend, fvck mate too much .

Are you lonely?

You are talking to yourself