₦airaland Forum

Jokes are so hard to come by this days hence all these alduterated jokes making the rounds

swaggapee:
THIS NIGENTGIST you are very silly, must u bring everything u see on their twiiter page here? see how you are spamming the whole nairaland

you are a mumu, anything u see for their twitter is now topic for u to bring hia

Haba bros. Na fight.

He has got the voice to light up any collabo. Best hook i heard him sing was "Where I Wanna Be" with Shade Sheist. Even Mariah Carey jumped on the gravy train. R.i.p

Shinor:
I am currently studying this statement and i have set up a high powered panel of inquiry to investigate this statement and release a white paper in 2015. At the moment, I am trying to reach Pastor Bakare to confirm or deny this story. Until then I cannot make any categorical statement

Very funny

bisiaet:
But why stoning the president? what good does this stoning will do to this people? Stoning and stoning I guess they think they are embarrasse the president rather they are embarrassing themselves as they would be label as usual "Babaric People" because I dont understand this stoning madness as if we are still living in stoneage time so nasty indeed.

All this in the name of zonning, Religious, Tribalism. If GEJ is Hausa man all we will hear is Rankadede isnit?

If the president is muslim they would say is an act of God (Allah Akbar) is that not right?

If Nigeria has allowed zoning to be imposed on them as Goat Ciroma want they will yeah we are born to rule isnit?

Its untill every Nigerian realised that what is behind all this was not just hatred for GEJ but these people just want to rule this country forever this is just the simple truth and failure to ahieve this they want to turn Nigeria upside down. But the great question is Can all of us fold our arms seen this rule for life dram stand??

If they are a treu muslim they should know what the Qu'aran says about an act of God and they should know as the holy book said that whatever man become in life or whatever happens in life Allah knows about it so I dont understand there grieveances now?

Finally a voice of reason. We get it that nearly all of us hate the PDP but how i wish the opposition to the candidature is based on his personality and his incoherent policies. But alas what do we have,Ciroma is hating on him because he aint a northerner. At least thank God Buhari is distancing himself from the silly northern oligarchs.

larry2020:
hmm, The fear of kirikiri is the begining of reconciliation,

this is so true. I wish he hadn't done it though. I need to see the cocky guy in jail.

OGD is sacred of jail after his tenure but i doubt if he'll ever escape it. He has said too much to a man who never forgives. Best thing for him (which i pray he doesnt do)is to flee the country immediately after May 29

Arcani:
Naiz, buh stale, tis being posted b4

After seeing this,i went thru all ur recent posts, guy u can criticize o. Shuo!!!!!!!

Maybe i`ll figure out where the joke is be4 the end of the week

Good one. That Pius Adesanmi guy is creative

londoner:
It is not a sign of any enlightenment for a good candidate.

It is simply people of the North backing a northern for president.

If PDP had picked a Northern/Muslim presidential candidate they would have supported that man would they not?

Its like people making a song and dance over the stampedes which took place at the PDP rally in Port Harcourt, what did you expect?

It is what it is, and I suspect that its nothing more than the usual thing of "my area", "my tribe member", "my religion".

When they troop out for Ribadu , then I can see there is some enlightenment,  because that would be mostly based on his track record.

I highly doubt these people have given much thought to and track record, manifesto or political ideology of Buhari, or the party he represents.

I doubt even 10% of voters are doing so with any candidate.


GEJ, needs to take a look at Buhari's manifesto.

Thanks for this. It`s been on my mind since i started readin the thread. I dont want us to fooled by what this crowd stands for. They are not shoutin sai Buhari cos they like his policies,it`s simply a case of GEJ is not a northerner so i wont vote for him!!!! Unfortunately this tribalistic thinking is what we need like  we need a hole in the head in Nigeria presentely. GEJ doesnt inspire mmuch confidence with the kind of people he surrounds himself with and the kind of looting goin on right under his nose without him intervening so he doesnt get my vote but i really wish the opposition to his candidature in the north is because of who he his and not for where he comes from

yomijnr:
You do realise that you made at least two grammatical errors in your little intro. How about you remove the log in your eye before going after the speck in Patience Jonathan's.

Me and a few of my guys are arguing about where the errors are. Can you point them out pls?

Love this guy

Ha na Banky o! And that`s why he has more hits

naijacutee:
I did not realise that ThisDay newspaper had an office in the Ekeinde's bedroom.

God bless you for this. All this silly Nigerian newspaper speculations. Quote from Omotola hubby? nothing. Quote from a confirmed witness? Nothing. Everythin na speculation for their lives

``And she gives them a substance which makes a tumor grow inside them`` OMG!!!

Bode George offended the PDP hierachy when he refused to support Obanikoro in the 2007 election because of the party's refusal to instal his prefered candidate (the late Funsho williams wife)as the gubernatorial candidates. Hence the refusal to help him when his a.s.s was about to be thrown in jail. Blaming Tinubu is just like livin in denial.

good one there. really missed him in the WC

Methink they escaped because it was only the 2 of them. When the real crash happen,the aircraft is going to contain all those who turned our roads into deathtraps thus wasting the lives of commoners everyday while they can afford to travel fly wherever they like.
Anenih i'm watching u.

I'm suprised noone has mentioned this. But a major impediment to investors influx into Naija is d issue of kidnapping. I know definitely that expatriates will be involved in d construction of the factory. If their safety is not assured that factory may not see the light of the day in our lifetime.

it`s like this Sniper thing is the most effective here. Pls can someone tell me how to get it

Solomon227:
The same GEJ that gave his presidential plane to fly an accussed murderer from Prison to Abuja. Is it not the same GEJ that went cap-in-hand to beg IBB in Minna to stand-down out of the presidential race? The same man vindicating OBJ and co from Halliburton bribery case. He is ready to do anything, including sacrificing innocent lives, to get supports and votes. His wife was there to welcome George in the day so how difficult would it be 4 a man of questionable xter like GEJ to visit a colleague in looting business in the dead of the night?

The plan of God is for us to have good governance and not another looting desperado cluelessly piloting the ship of this country for another 4 years.

God bless you. And can i add this. The same man that was busy exonerating MEND from the independent bomb blast even when MEND itself was implicating itself

chamber2:
Even the food vendor is not left out in the corruption bid. There are truly problems in this country

Very funny!

55000 as ransom for kidnapping?!!!!!!!!!! These business has been completely bastardised.

And when will someone tell us how many foreign accounts Mark,Alaibe,Uduaghan,Daniel or infact any damn Nigerian politician has abroad?
It is the OBJ formula all over again .i.e use the EFCC to hound political opponents.
The day the EFCC becomes a true anticorruption body and not a semi-legal weapon of political oppression is the day our redemption begins in this country

Obafemi Martins said that was the "easiest goal of my career".
That is the ultimate insult!

Awon da? Won ti sa lo!
At least this place will get a lil be of quiet even if momentarily.
Manmuswac i really need to credit u. How do u manage to stand all these babblings,mumblings,cacklings,twitterings etc? I've been off since when they decided to make this thread an extension of their's!
If only Birmingham could be playin them everyweek,how comfy this place would've been

I really enjoy a lot of this quotes but i think it`s time to stop now, These latest Nigerian ones are not making it at all. Dont spoil the fun . Thanks

funny thread. I`ve observed this too

This thread made me remember the funny incident in my room 3days ago.
I woke up 2am hearin scratchy noise on my Wardrobe. Thinkin it was a rat,i grabbed the nearest broom and prepared for Wardrobe War III. I put on the light only to discover a wall gecko with a cockroach hanging in it's mouth. I clapped, said "well done" and went back to sleep.

Wish GEJ will just take up an id and register on nairaland to see what the real Nigerians are sayin not not the a s s kissers on Facebook.