₦airaland Forum

carefreewannabe: Like I said, I like your attidue but I disagree when you say that women accept it because they like it. Some women do, many women have no choice, few women are like you.


Have you never heard of women who are told by their OWN parents to go back to their husbands no matter what happened?

I can't get the premises of your argument and I insist that some women see being battered as an expression of care and love.Oh yes, for anyone to sit and watch herself being battered on daily basis without doing any thing or whatsoever to stop it shows an acceptance.


Don't forget that the sentence " women accept it because they like it " was yours not mine or can you quote where I said it?The number that really do not have a choice are negligible and there is always a choice albeit an unpalatable one. There is no excuse for staying in an abusive relationship, none at all.

carefreewannabe: If you are a mother of three little children and you have no cash to start a business, you will also have no time to get the cash together.
Just an example. What are you going to do? Live on the street with your kids?

No parents, no relatives, no friends, no brothers, no sisters, no inlaws ,no savings and I threw my legs open to push out three tiny feets? No, I can't relate to this, what happens if the man was dead leaving unpaid bills behind?


No one is anybody's God, no human is indispensable. I will do exactly what I will do if the man was dead.

carefreewannabe:

@BOLD

ROFL

I like your strength and determination but life is not so simple.

Crippling the husband is not the solution to the problem, especially not if the woman hasn't got good chances in the labour market due to her poor education or lack of skills to successfully run a business.

Who is talking of labour market? Didn't you read about the abacha woman that erected a building in her husband's name? Busy men barely do have the time to panel beat their wives, if they are upset, pick your keys and scram, go cool off. Chances are that the man in question is of little or no use even with his legs intact.


Some businesses do not need any educational skill, unless we are talking of a ret*ard here .

who ever said men aren't emotional too is either just yarning Opata or repeating what some one else said .


@ Topic,as usual, women are the ones who crucified Christ, the kidnapped chibok girls are all women's fault. The useless men that have been constituting nuisance all over the place are women's fault. Women are the reasons divorce is souring higher and men are the ones who have been relentlessly working towards their marriages , thank you!! We have heard .

If you have no place to go and can't beat him, then arrange for him to be beaten with emphasis on crippling him, that way she gets to slap him on his wheel chair every morning before going off to hustle for food .


This applies only if you have not been locking him by the collars or telling him " ancient and mordern" .

If she isn't enjoying it, why is she still there? I have desensitized myself from feeling much empathy for these women, some of them surely do have a screw or two loose up there. I mean, standing like a tree to be bludgeoned to oblivion by an insane beast isn't particularly a human characteristics.


why these men hit there spouse? It's because they can and the spouse does nothing to stop it. My aunt was regularly beaten by her husband when I was a kid, until my uncle busted him with his course mates and taught him the fear of God. No beaten was ever recorded and they have been married for more than three decades.


Some women can also turn the most docile of men to an insane beast. If I am a man, i doubt if I can resist a woman that goes locking me by the collar, chances are, i might knock out her teeth. Some women act like touts, there is so much a man can take before his loses his mind and goes Jet Li on you.

Keeping worthless friendships and contacts is usually the beginning of emotional infidelity. A married man or woman has no business chit chatting with the opposite sex for the fun of gists. If you aren't discussing business, then what are you chatting about?I don't subscribe to married people keeping friends of the opposite sex just for friendship sake.

Why does she need a guy to take care of her basic needs,is she an orphan? No wonder they are punching her left, right and center, no sense of pride .


I don't know what to say, she thinks like a runs girl.

...And a woman was foo*lish enough to donate her kidney to this one? I really wonder the quality of brain in some women 's head .

Men die of their own recklessness.

zeb04: Women live longer because they worry less. Responsiblities and others make men worry all the time.

This perception will change when you are married, who ever told you women worry less failed motherhood 101.

Kitchen shelf statistics at its best .

Mad men everywhere, I thought they said women are the only ones desperate for marriage?

aisha2: Hmmm, I went to visit someone once, they lived in a face me I slap you apartment. Next thing noise from outside, no one even flinched, na me run go see, 3 girls beating one man, turns out its their uncle with their mum cheering him on. I tried to seperate as the person I had visited shouted at me to get back inside. NO ONE in the compound even looked out and continued their business as if nothing was going on.

That shows is a regular occurrence for them .

damiso: @bolded I have always wondered too about this.I have always been a chicken when it comes to physical pain Right from childhood I have always tried to avoid getting physically hurt . Before my mum could catch me to give me any strokes of cane she sef go run mid to long distance marathon In school I did not mind getting to school at half 7 just to avoid the strokes of cane latecomers sometimes got.

I can't let anyone disfigure me o lai lai.So I will now be nursing black eye everytime I would rather live in a one room apartment than a mansion where I will be nursing wounds all the time.Mbanu.

A lady was describing the fighting tactics she used on her husband and I couldn't help laughing like a mad woman. She waited for the man to sleep,turned off the light and started whipping him with his belt, left, right and center. She even insisted that not knowing how to physically fight a man makes a woman mumu . Nah there u go fear mentality, fighting is like pre-intimacy to them .


Some really do enjoy it...

amichaelz101: tot I found the wife in yo??

I thought I was conversing with a serious minded individual ,bye.

carefreewannabe: There is a deeper psychology to it. Many of these women grew up in violent environments.

Very, very, possible and could this possibly break down the natural instinct to defend ones self against danger? A lady once told me that she enjoys fighting physically with her man because she likes the way he subdues her during the fight. She also mentioned that she enjoys the apologies and the make up intimacy afterwards.

I visited this lady once, only to meet her in a bloody fight with her younger brother. they were shoving each others clothes down a pit latrine. I had to take to my heels when weapons started flying to avoid collateral damage . So yes, you do have a very valid point.

No he won't, first kids always do that but ll adjust soon enough.

Odilafta: Rather than forcing him to learn academics,he should be registered for vocational training such as tailoring,mechanic,welding or barbing

Exactly, though it's heart breaking to any parents.

I really think most of those women enjoy it, when i see financially stable women in abusive relationships, it reaffirms my belief that some truly do enjoy it.


I mean how do one live with an animal that beats you black and blue without someday loosing it and stabbing him to death in his sleep? The only option for a victim is to RUN! Financially capable or not, run!

Most people won't fit in anywhere in this crappy list .

None, let them face there work.

amichaelz101: m nt greedy and m sure u aint... SO?

So get a wife that ain't greedy and live happily ever after .

Sucker got served, a perfect match in unholy matrimony, i wish more infidelity cases will go this way .






Make any obolo no quote me to yarn opata ooo.Did you guys divorced or opted for an open marriage, i need an update .

amichaelz101: hmmmm... money is the root of evil,hp u rmber

Only when greedy people are involved .

hispinkolo: I'll set the ball rolling on ONE THING I LOVE ABOUT MY SPOUSE..



HUMILITY
Most of my problems stem from my difficulty to forgive?He taught me by his actions that there's nothing like pride in marriage because we are working towards the same goal..NOT I BUT US..US is the keyword.He doesn't feel too big to take the first steps in reconciliation,and I learnt from him to pursue peace.
In the 1st year,I was always waiting for him to say sorry and he used to do that but kinda grew tired of it.So one day,we quarrelled and as usual,I was waiting.Day 1,NOTHING. Day 2,NOTHING.. HEII..I started having high bp,but decided to wait on till he breaks..DAY 3,this man still ignored me.I was soo miserable that I packed to another room yet he didn't move a muscle.I started praying to God to do something and I'll not be stubborn again.

DAY 4, I don't know what entered me but I decided to do something drastic.I took my bag and my phones and ran away while he was asleep .I went to a park nearby my house and sat there.Unfortunately for me,it was cold and I didn't have a sweater with me.One hour my teeth started chattering..2 ,3 hours I was shaking but I said I'd rather die than go home.I was looking at my phone and calling on God to force hubby to worry and call my phone.I told God to do this for me and I won't bear grudges again.I knew the shame of going home after all my shakers would be too much and worse if hubby didn't give a hoot.I cried well well but after a while,my phone rang and it was him..I was happy but I didn't pick..I picked at the third call and he told me he loves me and I should come home cos he was very worried.
The way I ran home ehhhh..He was there to meet me and hugged me.I told him I didn't love him anymore and he laughed well.I apologised to him and he made me scrambled eggs..He said sorry too and explained I w as hurting our union by being stubborn.He told me he was hurting and couldn't concentrate but had to be hard cos it was necessary for me to have a taste of my own medicine..

When I look back,I laugh at what I did.What if he didn't care to call me nko? I'd have gone home with shame

I've learnt my lesson.Im not too big to beg when I'm wrong..For extra drama,I even throw myself on the floor,lol

;DSo funny!!!!I feel too proud to say sorry even when I really am. Something similar happened to me when I was a newly wed and it changed my outlook on the entire pride package. I offended him and refused to apologize, though it didn't last for days because he apologized and counseled me at night. I was shocked to see that he was able to go a whole day not talking to me. Since then, i apologize when am wrong but when am not, i don't mind not talking to you for as long as you are comfortable not talking to me. The best I will do is point out my grievances, its left for you to decide when to get jolly again.



Humility is an aspect of my spouse I have learnt a lot from, pride really has no place in the holy matrimony.

There are people that will never be academically intelligent, even if you break their heads and stuff books in them.

10 would have fit if the spirituality aspect was excluded.

lovinam: Yes o! she still has time to respond to our emails asking questions upon questions. I just love that girl na God go bless am well well. She is God sent to this thread! My dear I full ground o! My lo just de grow and gives the cutest smiles.

A big Amen to that prayer, kisses to your lO .

lovinam: Hey! Wey donatee?

She s been too busy, how body?

@ Iyaibeji2 from doc donatee, its possible cos she may have ovulated later dan normal so d baby may b younger dan counting frm LMP. wait n see approach is d most logical thing. Meanwhile "local midwives" I don't support. Let her continue her prenatals n prayer. And also continue to check her progesterone wen indictated.

Please did this traditional midwife place you on any drugs prior to this pregnancy? Iyaibeji2