₦airaland Forum

Its not a question of who owns, the two are distinct & important people in his life, they perform distinct roles & he cannot do without any of them. I think d question shd be who is more important or first among both, 4 me, my mum & my wife are both important but my wife takes precedence in all matters & decision, she is one with me.

bukatyne: so for a man to clean the house he stays and babysit his own babies is now a problem? Now we desperately need God's help.

see you, how can it a problem, is it not d role God handed to him so as to fullfill ur desires, if its possible to shift d pregnancy to us, na only men 4 dey carry belle, God take dat one pass una.

Mrs mansson: my thoughts exactly.graduate or not it doesnt make a wicked person less of a devil.

what has graduate got to do with being a gud person, there is nobody u can trust, one is just leaving d kids @ d mercy of who may take advantage of them. My brother & his wife usually leave house around 5;30am, they drop d baby @ dat time too & come home around 8pm, is that not madness, i thought by now, they wud ve made millions. Why wudnt u want to sacrifice 4 ur children?

debrief08: No one should stay with a violent person until the violent partner decides he/ she has a problem and gets help. No one should put up with violence and be expected to "cure" or "control" it
A victim should know that they didn't "cause it, they can't cure it and control it, its up to the person with the problem to decide to help him/herslef.

Madam ur argument is not correct, most cases of violence are instigated, If u r constantly being abused, then u ve a problem

Greatgod, i hope u r not trying 2 end this, we ve just scratch d surface, there r plenty to still discuss. Debrief said proper nanny or educated nanny, which one is proper nanny? i dont knw, i thought i saw a pic of a guy putting his pp in d mouth of a girl of abt 6mths old, d girl sucked it dry, i dnt knw if some of u saw it, God help our new generation mothers. Now Op i also want 2 add this; how r u ladies(married) coping with sexual desires 4rm ur bosses? b'cos its also affect family too.

bukatyne: Dis is interesting. However, what is d hubby doing when d woman is trying to balance career and family?

i guess he is busy doing domestic chores & baby siting, abi or is it not what u 21st generation ladies want, new generation dadies according to what my sister is preaching. More grease to ur elbow debrief & jidegirl, powerful women of purpose or what shd i call u, that is why to work under a woman, e get as e be. God help us.

Thks 4 ur reply Debrief, i think u also agree that the family suffers when a woman faces her carrier. U said wit an understandin spouse, what abt if d husband is not available to help & she wont be back til 8 or 9pm, who takes care of d kids. 4 d banks u mentioned, i think u shd not go there, if there is any job that makes family 2 suffer, it shd be no 1. On d religious issue, i think u shd just let people be, its not 4 u to jugde who is perfect or not. Any opportunity 2 serve God shd be encourage

jidegirl12: Who changed the Title? NL I hail thee

jide wassup? i was just going thru ur topics & i saw this & i bought it out, i m surprised @ d attention given to it now & even d change of topic, i guess d mod did that. Anyway if we both work in d same office, i will address u as Mrs Jide in an official capacity but just within d office or privately, i can adress u as madam or aunty jide, i dnt ve problem wit that. I want respect so i give respect.

@ Op, i think u should go back to ur wife, d key 2 d happiness & success of ur home is in ur hands. Ur family is far more important than anything else, i bet u dat happiness u crave for, if u rready 2 make ur marriage works, u will surely ve it. As 4 d mistake u made with ur ex, its a pity but thk God u ve not gone too far, Just cut it off, u dnt need all these baggages in ur life. Make ur family happy & there shall be peace in ur home.

@ Debrief, d word endure came 4rm d greek word that was translated into charity, endure, love, meekness, longsufferring, submissiveness are all connected & they r virtues of a gud wife. Now when u r told to endure, u r simply being asked 2 accept d situation, assess it & prevent it in any way u can without affecting d union. Let me also tell u, IMO i think a woman that is being battered by her hubby has a big problem, there r ways 2 even live wit d devil, not 2 talk of us mortals.

may be 4rm here we may be able 2 get some understanding. when a man beats his wife, its usually called fighting b'cos i dont knw if its possible 2 just start beating someone 4 no just cause. Dont u think d abused may ve induced d abuse one way or d other? Ve u heard of 'pami n ku aya'? (u go kill me 2day wife) If my spouse has a tendency of raising his/her hands when there is an arguement, is it possible 2 prevent it? may be by not doing what wil make it get 2 d point, it takes 2 tangle.

coogar: the boss should have docked her wages.....
it makes no sense to query her....unfortunately, employees have no rights in nigeria....they are all treated like shyte by the employers cos it's the employer's world out there. a colleague was telling me he cannot park his car where his boss parks - i was like wtf.....shouldn't this be a first come first serve issue?

Bros leave matter 4 mathias, its disrespectful 2 park ur car where ur boss parks even Oyinbos know this

@ debrief, pls i m trying not to get crossed wit u but what do u really ve against pastors, preachers, talking about church in d office, it seems u just dont want 2 hear it, i see a lot about that in ur comments, i dont want 2 guess. If u think my asking u may get u worked up, u may choose not 2 answer.

This discussion is not just about what d woman ought to do & ought not to do. Lets talk more about how a married woman can joggle her carrier & her family well without any one suffering. Is it really possible? can a lady that works in a bank, wit kids & closes 6 or 7pm ve time 4 her family? I think Ladies shd knw when 2 go down low when family is involve. I m running after money, my wife is running after cash, @ whose expense? who takes care f d kids? house maids i guess. God help us.

debrief08: Toh, When we say people should not put up with voilence they will crucify us and call for endurance, toh he has endured to the grave, he died a married man.
Oya oh, come and abuse and curse, the woman, if he complained when he was alive he will be told to "Man Up" and " endure". When a spouse dies from violence na there our
Happy Mourning and insults. Let us keep cheering more people to endure to death.

madam, its obvious u dnt understand d meaning of endurance

slimyem: I'm wondering what weapon might have used on him to have caused an almost instant haemorrhage..
Sad.
..and now,a thread for family section hyenas to feast on..
Hehehe!
Those pictures up there are hilarious btw.

U can see that its not really a man's thing to be violent, it cud be anybody, its just a case of who has d upper hand. Lots of men r suffering abuses @ home, they prefer 2 keep silent.

debrief08: Mr. BjCole, Violence doesn't have Gender. Violence against anyone is wrong and condemnable, inexcusable
Violent people should get help, it shouldn't be up to a spouse to "endure" and "change" a violent person.
You can only aviod confrontation for so long, most violent attacks of this magnitude are unprovoked

madam @ what point do u think it can get violent in a marriage? & how do u think people get married to a violent person? cud d person be just blind or what?

so women do this too, wonders shall not end, all d feminist will not see this one, when a man does, he is a devil. I always wonder why two that profess love, sleep wit each & do all sorts of romantic things, will suddenly descend into fighting, hatred even 2 d point death. I dont know what my wife will do that will make me raise my hands on her.

@ Greatgod , when i say slow down, i dont mean d woman shd sacrifice her job, there r jobs that one cannot afford to lose, u can imagine a woman working in shell or Elf as staff & u will now ask her 2 sacrifice her job b'cos of family, ofcourse thats almost unheard off & come 2 think of it, those high paying jobs ve provisions 4 married ladies, they accomadate them well & they close early like 4pm. I dnt really see any sense in jumping out 5am wit ur hubby wit nothing 2 show 4 it, when u ve kids.

We cannot seperate our culture from d way we relate wit people in our office environ. We are africans & naija 2 be precise, our culture commands respect & that u cant rule out, even d most of corporate offices, these familiarity exist & people use aunty, uncles & bros to call some older or senior colleagues. In my office we ve people we call Uncles & madams b'cos f their age. I m not an Oyinbo man & i wil not throw away my custom 4 what i dont understand.

This is an interesting topic, we may not even fully exhaust it. We Men these days dont want a sit home wife, u want her 2 be doing something but how do u balance it, dats d crux of d matter. I think d understanding of d couple really matters, with that d family can always work out something. I remembered one of my managers once said if he had his ways, he wont employ any mum b'cos of their excuses, these days kids r definetely suffering & i think women shd know when 2 slow down.

debrief08: Thank You for your apology.
I didn't even mention my husband once in the post, I just gave examples of what I noticed around me. Where did I say I want you to be like my husband?

madam, lets not beat around d bush, everything u wrote there is ur hubby put together and both of u r very happy which is gud. Like i said madam there is no problem abt us, i wil always read ur comment, u r someone i ve regard 4.

And also, if any of my pals here writes what i dont really agree with, i question them, and u r one of my pals. May be i shd remind, i ve once benefited 4rm ur gud gesture here but shd i b'cos of that behave like an hypocrite? I agree wit some of what u wrote there no doubt but that dat d fathers of these days are better, i dont agree. Our Fore fathers & fathers deserve more praise than us b'cos they did far more. D Legacy of my father, i wil always appreciate.

madam, u ve really mis understood me, i will never come here & attack u b'cos u r a divorcee. if thats what my comment means to u, then i ve 2 say sorry. What i meant by being sincere there is if ur thanks is really 4 us as fathers or that u really want us 2 be like ur hubby, which i m not. My understanding of how d husband shd relate wit his wife on day 2 day activities differs 4rm yours & dats what ur post is about hence my comment. So my comment s abt d message not d messenger.

I really hope ur thanks is as sincere as it sounds, i think, whether you do these as a father or not, d most important thing is to love & care 4 ur family as a father. I dont think there has been a major generational shift as u painted, my own father did more than my mother for me & i knw lots of us wil say d same. I wud rather be appreciated for d legacy i lay down for my kids rather than changing diapers in public places. Our fathers ve been real fathers, we fathers these days are just learning.

Gambrosia: After coming to this LOUSY world of psychos. . .why will anyone think of coming back?
I can't wait to gerrrrrrrrrrrout.
Sick of dealing with WICKED, CURSED souls aka CHRISTIANS!
Twa!

person like u always end up doing well as good christian, too numerous example of your type. I wil be least surprised if u turn out one, searching 4 people 2 come & become ur members

@ Op, dis reincarnation is really beyond human understanding. One thing people will tell u is dat there is notin like it b'cos the bible does not account 4 it. This world s really deep & there r things u just dont ve explanations 4, there r some newborn that ve matured face them, som little kids talk like an adult that u start wonderin. My girl of 6yrs behaves much like a teen, so my brother relax, whether reincarnation exist or not, i dont knw, but i dnt knw of any harm in having such babies.

Getting married early is not a bad idea,. there r lots of criteria u must meet & once u can fullfill them, u r gud to go. Lookin @ d trends dis day, 4 me, i still think there shd be some certain age limits for marriage, so that one can cope wit those emotional stress in marriage. I choosed not 2 marry a girl of 20, when i was 28 b'cos of some immaturity in her, She just wanted 2 experiment with everything around her & i was obviously not ready 4 that. So i think 4 a guy 4rn 28 & ladies 4rm 25.

Marriage is forever, death is d only acceptable option 4 seperation, @op, i like d choice of ur word "enduring spirit" anybody that does not ve d enduring spirit is not fit to be married, if u cannot forbear or tolerate & accept ur spouse' differences, u have a longway to go. If u want 2 ve less headache in ur marriage, choose right, time of courtship is not 4 sleeping around, shine ur eyes, dont be carried away by infatuation, invlove God in d process. Happy & blissful married life 2 my Nl folks

kulyie: As long as its peaceful and a truly happy marrage devoid of violence ,threat to life,emotions,esteem or psychological torture yes,but if it is filled with one form of ugly dramas,violence and adultery,then no.it is better to be alive and have your sanity than sitting in a dead or turbulent marriage

you are obviously not ready 4 marriage. As long as u r married, there surely must be drama, whether gud or bad.

@Debrief, maybe with this ur explanation, d OP might understand better that there is nothing like 50 50, a gud woman will seek to please her husband & d man loves his wife dearly. There r guys that r very gud in chores, there r some that dont like it, one thing i believe in is that one must help his wife out in any way u can, domestic chores r not jokes, & if u dnt ve d time, u get a help 4 her. My wife will nt give me domestic chores as a day in day out responsibilities in d house, tu fia kpa

Sisi_Kill: Yep,makes total sense because the ashawos are not women, so it all works out.

I don't wanna get ahead of myself but I think it is safe to say you just gave us a solution to this entire women must remain virgins issue.

Of course they r women, ashewo is oldest profession in d world, well recorded in d bible, they r there 2 satisfy d extravagance of some men. I m not oblige 2 marry u when i ve slept wit u as much as i wanted, whatelse is it to look 4ward to?