₦airaland Forum

I am neither married to a "Deji of Akure" nor a "Chijioke Wigwe". . . there is the absolute power of independence on both sides of the matrimonial fence. No one can hinder anyone's progress as long as tne decisions do not affect the overall integrity of the union. Thank God for life outside Nigeria and Africa.

Amen!

Mu he he he he he he

I just love NL!

Hmmm!


Na for whia the 'spermdrops' for hang bifor?

For her anus?

Ha!

Awwwwww!!!
How nice.
Some hope for barren, abortion-vanquished poohsiezzzz in da UK/US!


Way to go! There shall be no 'barren' in the land of the living dead!

Iseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

1) I am so sick of my period! One-third of every month is negatively affected by my period. I am either sick from cramps, bloated beyond belief, on it, finishing it, too emotional, not emotional at all, or just simply not myself. The right months are worse than the left ones. Ortho, Depo and the others do nothing to help.

I have since cut all the damn things off. . . and it has been paradise ever since. I love my gynecologist I swear! I can now wear my thongs without any 'bulges'! I no longer have to deal with those deadly cramps. . . .! Or smell like an "Ibadan" fish-market 3-5 days of the month!
No black out zones! No need to wear paheint to bed!

Praise da lord!

2) I hate make-up

No problem there. . . I do not wear make-up MOST of the time. I could care less about my appearance. Not that insecure. I wear make up when I feel like I am in the mood.

3) I have to be a slave to fashion.

Same as the above. I only do what pleases me. If I feel like dressing up, fine. If not. . . not a damn thing anyone can do abourrit. On my terms only. If you don' t like it. . .step on across the road.

4) My bra has never fit me right!

Especially if you have one busty bigger than the other. I have to wear a "DD" instead of a D just to accomodate my over flowing left mamary gland. That was the one the boyz started 'pressing' first in secondary school.

5) I hate the following terms: kitty, Slit, Cooche, womanliness, Snatch, Cooter, Beaver, Hole, Muff, Arrow, and Clam,  I also hate mammalias, bosoms, Funbags, Melons and any other idiotic name people come up with for my body parts. I have a womanliness and bosoms or bosoms. Easy as that. Can you say womanliness? I hope so.

Me too! I prefer the terms 'toto' or 'congo'! "Bobby or bosoms"! The ghetto-er the berra.

6) Double standards: Men get away with murder in the business world. Women are held to a much higher degree of scrutiny and to a much higher standard than men. When men talk they are networking, when women talk we are gossiping,  when men make mistakes they are risk takers, when women make mistakes we are incompetent, when men argue they are debating, when women argue we are being catty. You get the idea. I am just as smart, if not smart

Not in my world. The direct opposite. I usually cut any man down to size that pulls that "double-standard" of an insecure, sexist mess around me. I don't associate with the LOCAL. . .culturally dickmatized females who enable such nonsense around me either. I have more testosterone than any male around me if push comes to shove!

Definitely Youtube.

You don't have to cyber chat with riff raffs and no 'be my valentine' list and petitions, making one crawfish friend after another.

Idiagbon.

If only he stayed for 10 years.

Not worth a whimper!

Where are the dividends of democrazy I ask?

If you die in Nigeria. . .for WOTEVA reason. . . you die a miserable death. . . like a low down dirty dog!

Abiola we are told, paid with his life for democrazy.

I beg to differ.

It was the 4 wives and 19 concubines that did him in. If one dee-k circumlocutes 23 poohsies steadily in any given year. . .eja-cu-lating constantly. . .Cardiac arrest is the only sure banker of a demise.

Please, free Abacha!

enyojo:
What is this rubbishhh?

Hey Sweerie!

Here goes! In ya face again dia.

[size=20pt]Mu he he he he


Gotta luvvvvit! 

Na real 'pepper-soup' joint! 

Trash sells. . . .lets have the 'smuts'! 

Work is sooooooooooooo ova!

5 paycheck this month. . .time to pamper the hossssseband!  [/size]

In case you mizzzed it. . .this thread is about 'tabloid' stuff. . .so, anything goes.
Furthermore, I do have a problem with nonentities like yaself responding to my posts!
I usually like to 'freelance' around here. . . free from interference too.

Also, you MUST be preeeeeety significant  in the grand scheme of things. . . for me to read or notice you or your posts. . . .and enough to give them the slightest attention around here or beyond.

In a nutshel. . .

[size=20pt] MIND YA GADDDEM BIZZZZZZZZNEZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!! YOU DUMB PHUCK! [/size]

All deeez NL UGLY, Hot, biatcheezz have come again.

Mu he he he he


Gotta luvvvvit!

Na real 'pepper-soup' joint!

Trash sells. . . .lets have the 'smuts'!

Work is sooooooooooooo ova!

5 paycheck this month. . .time to pamper the h[b]ossssse[/b]band!

Of course.
Na English I go chop?
As long as he can speak pidgin English and tell me things like:

"O baby you just scatter me finish"!!!. . .in the bedroom.

I can speak enough 'good' English for both of us.

Of what use is an 'impotent' man with fine Y-inglish?

Tell it not in Gath!

Not for me. As long as I cannot phock ya anymore. . .we are no longer friends!
Friendship is like the weather. . . unpredictable.
But a good phock has lasting memories.

Gba be!

Ssssshikena!


Friendship for what? Gossip or hanging out?  Not applicable!

I can't stand idle gossip and really do no like hanging out with re-tards or have re-tards calling my phone with their dry gists!

I have better things to do with my time and resources. . .not making friends!

It is all about the sexual chemistry. . .after which. . .you are toast. Till I get the 'itch' again.

Sorry, some of us have jobs and families. . .enough friends from there. Thank ya!

Why dunn you put them both on your time table for the week. . .as in taking turns to phock 'em?
Then you can surely find out which one is 'sweeter' huh?

I would.
If they decide to kill each other. . . of what business of it is yours?

Just fashi them both and look for fresh babes!

Shioooor!

Shame inninit?
With all the Naija is the "Gyhant" of African noise.

Tell me abourrrit.
DA dumbest phocks of human beings!
All noise. . . no back bone. . . sheer cowards!
Twa!

They want her to be a witch.

Mu he he he he

Is that right?

I am sure they are Xtians too.

Haba!
Na today!

Like Nigeria, like Nairaland!

Never stop saying ya mind. . . if dem neeked you. . .piss for them mouths!

Abi dem nefa see toto bifor?

Who dey fear the riff-raffs!

Shikena!

Lessons in life. . . ILL GOTTEN WEALTH NEVER SETS ANY SOLID FOUNDATIONS.

Any form of wealth acquired in Nigeria is a 'curse'!


The reason big man syndrome never works in Nigeria.
The children are never able to step up to fill the enterprising shoes of their parents.
All the children may be successes in their own rights OUTSIDE Nigeria. . .but NOT in Nigeria.
Reason:Children are never greater than their parents in Africa. . .

You only see children aspire to be greater and become greater than their parents in foreign countries.


He is not alone.

See the Igbinedions?
No head or tail from all those OKADA ventures the man worked so hard to establish.

Many other families like that.


Thank God for life outside Nigeria jare. Make my mama and papa keep them property. I now want!


Is that 'Brown Eyed Girl" playing on my radio?
Lah-Kee-Dah!

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!

When are Nigerians gonna stop dreaming?

Why not?

No beta topic around NL these days. . .since gossip don finish. Mu he he he he he

Disi wan na 2008 tori. . .but make I put 'mutt'.

But yet she keeps spreading rumours about us and stalking us and won't give us peace.

Sounds like some real piece of work. . .as in typical Naija woman-housewife! Her husband be doctor. . .wetin she be? Nothing.
No wonder she siddon for house dey make noise. HER MATES DEY WORK AND EARN MONEY. . .SHE DEY DIA DEY DO 'I BE DOCTOR WIFE'!

Obviously one of these imported 'mgbeke' brides. . . married to one old dude in the US. The doctor man get two heads or wetin? She nor fit go her own school become 'tisha' or even 'nursing assistant'?

Let me lend you a piece of thick skin when dealing with low-lives of Naija busy bodies and rumor-mongers.

Let me play you KSA. . .Let them say!

Na you get time for them.

If she carry her nonsense come ya front. . . just give her some hot slaps! Too bad you nor be woman. . . You for give am real 'biaaatch' pawa!

Awon "Omo-Nbatim" again?

[size=8pt]Each of them had swallowed 80 wraps of drugs[/size] that weighed 1.14kg. After their arrest, the National Drug Law Enforcement Agency Airport Commander, Alhaji Hamza Umar, said that preliminary investigation showed that the couple specialised in narcotic smuggling.



The suspects who reportedly ingested a combined 160 wraps of heroin weighing 2.28kg, completed the [size=20pt]excretion[/size]

This anus na multi-purpose organ o!
They must be working for "Tinu[b][size=20pt]m[/size][/b]bu"!

Tain my God for full-time h-employment o!

Not tired at all.
Not the business woman "busy-body" kind.
Pensioneer for life.

Less headache. . .more vacations with pay than tying my whole family to some family business.
Don't have to depend on NOBARRY.

Serves them dudes right!

When they are moaning and groaning on top of women. . . they do not know that that is only the beginning!

Mu he he he he he

Gosh, it is 9:45PM. Time to make my rounds!

3 more nights to go. . . PAYDAY THURDAY. . . AND SO OFF. Time to write the husband a handsome check and take him shopping. My girls need some new clothes too. . . . . . . . .Thank you lord!

My poor dad was fantastic!
The reason I have learned to work for myself. . .without depending on the thing called a 'MAN'!

The best dad ever!

If you wanno get married, why let your dad or step-mom dictate your choice of a spouse?
Most Nigerian step-mothers are NOT happy for their step-children and never wish them happiness anyway.
Berra use your tongue to count your teeth instead of your fingers!

If you MUST get married. . .find you own mate YOURSELF!

This excessive argument is tearing my family apart!!!
Please help,

When you start arguing excessively. . .there is a MAJOR problem. Ok in the first 2 years of marriage as newly-weds.
After 2 years of marriage, you should be able to communicate better so your children can learn how to communicate better with the world too.
This means you are NOT communicating. Marriages that strive towards success have limited arguements in them as you learn to read each other's minds.

Hopefully, you will learn to communicate better.


Marriage na wahala o!

Girly tok at work. Nothing wey I nor go hear for this my work place with these NURSES eeeeeey!

HMMMMM!
My co-worker just gisted us all how she is seperated from her husband of 8 months for lack of intimacy.
They only dated for 45 days. . .NO PREMARITAL SEX!
She is 51 and he is 60!
A 'merchant' of Viagra and Cialis which she says he has only used ONCE every month only and with a lot of begging and bribing to PHOCK her.
He has NEVER touched her boobies!

O ga o!
Why would a woman go for such an older man? This is her 3rd marriage. . . Chai!

The man refused to leave her house!

She bought a truck and a motor home with her credit. . . and now has to pay for his apartment if she wants him out of her house.

The man refuses to leave and is busy texting and calling a 30-sth-year-old female on her AT&T account. . .

She called the lady. . . to find out the husband never told the young woman he was married!

Na wah!

Reasons never to get re-married! Twa!

I like this 'tatafo' of a Bank-OLE'

Typical Yoruba dude. . .im mutt nor dey close once im [size=20pt]h[/size]-op[b][size=20pt]i[/size][/b]n!

Like a 'bursted' sewer!

Mu he he he he he

Chai!