₦airaland Forum

Xslaze3xd:
Mine was also on goal.com, they said messi had signed for Real Madrid for £500m, as I was reading it, I was shocked and angry at it until I saw APRIL FOOL'S at the end. Those guys are crazy.

Ay least you knew on time. I took the link and posted it to my FB page before a friend now asked if I have read it, I said yes. He replied and said it is April fool before I went back only to see it at the bottom. I was so mad.

Formidable1:
My wife has taken my April Fool joke very seriously. I decided to pull a prank on her today, and it's almost going out of hand.

It was in the morning, and I knew she wasnt yet aware that it was April Fool's Day. So I told her that I had a confession to make to her and it has been eating me up. I told her that I have a child outside our marriage. That I have a son who's around 12yrs now. That I had the child before I met her, but I couldn't tell her because I didn't want to lose her.

She was speechless but I could tell she was shaken. She searched my eyes to know if I was joking, but I maintained my seriousness. She calmy started asking me questions to know whether I was being real, but I was already prepared for any question. By the time she was through interrogating me, she has already broken down in tears.

I continued with the joke, and I told her to please forgive me for not telling her all this while. She believed everything I said and by the time I told her it was April Fool's joke, it was too late. She was inconsolable, and she told me it wasn't a joke, cos she knew I was telling her the truth. She said she had always had the feeling that I had a child cos she saw it in her dream before we got married.

To cut it short, right now she's mad at me...and she has threatened to leave with my 6 months old daughter and abandon our 3 yr-old marriage. She has already called her mum and sister and narrated the whole thing.

So, guys plz I need una help right now. My own April Fool prank has gone all wrong. What can I do?

Tell her to sleep and see the truth in her dream since she already has a feeling in her dream. Women at times will out of fear cocort a feeling then they will say they had a dream, the next thing is to start living with their spouse with distrust sitting at a corner to see the if their feeling will come to being.

Guy your joke is expensive knowing how fragile women can be.

Xposer:
Edo First Lady, Iara Adams Oshiomhole stunned in native attire as she arrived an IDP camp in the state for a skill acquisition programme hosted by her pet project 'Project Focus IDPs'... Mrs Oshiomhole also brought with her washing machines, sewing machines and other empowerment items.....

Source; http://www.nationalhelm.com/2016/04/iara-oshiomhole-shines-as-she-visits.html

What is stunning about her.

Pidggin:
Are you physically attractive?

Didn't they see each other's physique before marriage.

CastedDude:
No light, no fuel, now no water...could the situation get any worse? The government needs to answer this. Pictured is how residents of Ososami area in Ibadan, Oyo state -hustle to get water -by scooping it from a busy road. The government needs to "Change" this deteriorating situation...

http://www.nationalhelm.com/2016/03/water-scarcity-ibadan-residents-scoop.html

No be today

blueto:
http://www.vanguardngr.com/2016/03/foreign-coach-quit-pinnick/

Please resign. You think coaching is our problem. Our problem is bad leadership which you are one of them. When you want to succeed start from the beginning with hard work and not towards the end. No be your Papa born you if no resign

We need to occupy All capital city in protest against bad leadership in this country

horizonhotspot:
http://pulse.ng/religion/pastor-adeboye-daddy-g-o-is-a-murderer-kemi-olunloyo-says-id4861982.html

Truly I now understand that she is why WHO said that 1/10 of every Nigerians is mentally demented. She is really going demented as only she represents the 1/10 mentally demented amongst good Nigerians.

ekkywolex:
Good one, but how will people learn to clean their houses & environment now that they are not being forced.

it's better they learn it as a habit rather than been forced. Locking up shops, Markets, homes that fail to comply with environmental laws will teach them over time as done in international communities.

Femco2016:
you must be a blood sucker then.

The poster isn't a blood sucker. Its just the best statement for idiots

Pretty002:
I am a female from Delta State. I and a lot more people were suspended from the State Civil Service in Delta and we were accused of not getting the job on merit; it was a really frustrating situation. Somehow a job offer with a commercial bank in Abuja sprang up and although the pay was pretty meagre I thought it would be a fresh opportunity to start over.

On getting to Abuja, I contacted an old friend who happens to live in the town; he happens to be married but his wife isn't in the country. So I stayed in his place, went for the job test and subsequently the interview and I finally landed the job.

Exactly 3 weeks into my new job, this old friend of mine whom I was temporarily staying with asked me to leave his house. Curious, I insisted to know why I was been thrown out and of course, he had no genuine reason. He had gone round telling people I didn't do his laundry and I didn't cook. Firstly, besides his undies, he takes all his clothes to the drycleaners and I couldn't possibly be washing the delicate clothing of a man who isn't my spouse. Secondly, he never gave me a kobo to prepare a meal. The one time he gave me funds of any sorts, it was only a thousand naira and it wasn't meant for food but I added my money to it and ensured I still prepared a good meal.

After leaving this old friends place, another friend of mine introduced me to someone else I could stay with; even though this person I was introduced to was yet another guy I still moved in with him as I had no other choice.
This new guy unlike the first wasn't married but he had two children. Unlike the first guy who is a Christian, this new guy is a Muslim but that didn't bother me at all - I was just happy to have a place to stay. He offered to let me stay with him until I was settled enough to get a place of my own.

The new guy lives in a 2 bedroom apartment somewhere in Garki and although he owned the house, he had a tenant – he had let one of the rooms out to some other guy. My biggest concern was the fact that my new “landlord” let my sleep in his bedroom while he slept on the couch in the living room. Since I wasn’t comfortable with the idea I walked up to him and tried to let him understand that as the visitor I should be the one sleeping on the couch not him but he insisted that it wasn’t a problem.

Exactly two weeks after moving in, my new landlord travelled for a few days, on his return, I sensed something wasn’t right but I didn’t say anything. The following day the friend who introduced me to him called me and said the man had told him that he was going to ask me to leave. He said the guy wasn’t comfortable sleeping on the couch in his own house. All that talk came as a surprise to me. Eventually the landlord himself confronted me. He said he liked me. He said it was not going to be possible for him to be in the same house as me and not want me. He said I had to either give in or get out.

His intentions were made known to me on the 23rd of March 2016. The following day my head was clogged. I couldn’t think, I had headaches, I was almost in shock. During the usual morning meetings we have at the office, I almost fainted – I was told I was falling to the floor but someone somehow held me back. That night I didn’t sleep at home, a colleague in the office who stays in a family house got me a room in a hotel. While I was in my hotel room sobbing and thinking about my next step, this landlord sent me a text. He stated in the text that I should have told him I wouldn’t be coming home that night and he believes we can talk.

On reaching the house the following day being Good Friday, he began to talk about me providing him a girlfriend, preferably a working class lady who is my colleague. Since that was to be my licence to having a roof over my head, I accepted the offer and promised to provide him a girl. For some reason, the very next day he changed his mind and said it was me or nobody; on declining his proposal he asked me to move out the next day by 10am. By the way, I had found a calabash with a red cloth tied around the tip along with a brazier in his wardrobe. I don’t know what it was and I am not sure I want to.

By 10am on Easter Sunday I moved my things into the security post as I tried to figure out my next move. I went to a garden nearby, practically sat there all day calling people I believed would be able to help but finally I ended up sleeping in one guest inn around.

I have heard a lot of things about the Federal Capital Territory but I never thought I would experience it first-hand.

Don't you have any savings fro your previous work? Go to Mpape as advised in the thread and stop complaining in the city centre with miserable experiences.

Ezenwammadu:
I don't see any difference .it is still d same uniform and jets as last year

Maybe they are trying to tell us that NAF has no equipment before except for MEN because I do not see anything advance here except for basic things, very basic things.

Ezenwammadu:
I don't see any difference .it is still d same uniform and jets as last year

Maybe they are trying to tell us that NAF has no equipment before except for MEN because I do not see anything advance here except for basic things, very basic things.

NearPerfect:
Whoever expect Nigeria to beat Egypt needs a well needed brain checkup

There are surprises in football but this night SE shows not determination nor resilience.

Our players are sluggish and do not read the match. They need to think and act fast.

MosquitoLaps:
Is there another SS9 I don't know about?
Coz what I see here is the Uganda/Burkina Faso game.

Its Select Sport

barlkeez:
The actress looked stunning as she stepped out last night! Read her caption below;

Women who can appreciate the beauty of other women without hating, or snitching on them stays winning, cos by the time you are done talking about the person in question you will be seen as an idiot, just know that who ever that comes to tell you about some1 will definately tell some1 else about you, so becareful about such people. Goodmorning lovers.

Source: https://www.instagram.com/p/BDfRWc2uOUE/?taken-by=realangelaokorie

All these buffons should rather show us what they've got to contribute to Nigeria and not makeup.

Ioannes:
have you ever seen an uncut and unpolished diamond before? it looks rough and unrefined. but if you take the time and resources to do the needful, you will then have a beautiful gem in your hands.

she helped you with her money to become who you are today, well is it a crime if you help her with your money to become more refined?

tell her you wanna marry her but she needs to come alongside you.
get her a private etiquette tutor.

meanwhile please marry this woman who from your narrative appears to be your soulmate and best friend before you regret it.

Read his post well as he's been spending too. An HND graduate haba. Must the guy break his skull. What I think is that he should always shop with her and take her out to see things for herself till she starts to blend ad not abandoning her.

sweetgala:
All you have done is to defend the AWUF lifestyle of Nigerians , you have to pay your way in life

Its not AWUF lifestyle. Everything needs to be systematic. Why are they not paying heavy task in Spain like UK. Why is USA immigration system not like UK. Why is Education 100% free in Sweden and not same in USA. Its relative.
I can bodly tell you that 70% of VAT collected by service providers and sales merchants is not been remitted to the FG and same will bedevil currently introduced taxes all because there is no system in place. Rather for them to start from A to Z they are straying from T.

bloodyBLOGGER:
check the picture below

Because its not about the date but the act

sweetgala:
How much do you get taxed from your income (percentage %)

Do you know what the VAT rate is ?

Do you meet your property tax obligations, road tax etc

If not you have no excuse, I live in a EU country solely dependent on tax

My car road tax is over 400 annually
I pay income tax at 26%
VAT at 23%
Water tax is 100 annually
TV licence 150 annually
Capital gains tax can be up to 30%

If you are an employer you are looking at even more taxes

These EU countries in that category have no crude oil fir extreme gains and not much of natural resources for export. Saudi collects no vat which they just commenced this year. Its dumb asking me do I know our VAT rate. With all the CIT, vat, revenue that has been collected all this while what have we seen? Don't just open your mouth ad compare. Those EU country's have bearable leakages. Any serious governments needs to first make sure that there are zero or tolerable leakage in the system before burdening the masses. Let the government bring seasoned techs to curb financial malpractices before deciding if the citizens needs to pay more to have a better life.
If you want to compare, have the Nigerian government given back propotionately all this while. Do you know Libyans per virtually for nothing when Gadaffi was there and there roads is even better than Nigeria, not to forget stable electricity.
Mind you I pay my PIT and pay VAT in all I consume as the are inclusive already

This country leaders sha. We have countries that tax their citizens about 48% of their income and in return they do not pay for health and education, they have constant light, etc. Our government here collect all sort of tax notwithstanding multiple taxation, we've sold zillions of crude oil we maje a lot from customs dutys, et and yet we see nada in our day to day living. God Almighty look upon Nigeria today and wipe out all our greedy, insensitive, and rogue leaders Nigeria has had since independence. God Almighty by the reason of today's Dawn we say thank you for the dead ones of these bad leaders and I pray that the does remaining should be enveloped with disaster with no remedy, Amen.

ceometromedia:
A woman and others admitted they helped run a Nigerian scam that defrauded South Mississippi residents and many others through work-at-home and mystery shopper jobs and re-shipping scams. The victims were targeted through emails, online advertising, identities stolen, fake credit cards made. The ill-gotten goods and other illegal proceeds were re-shipped to Nigeria, Ghana, South Africa, China, UAE, Haiti.


The suspects are: Ann Louise Franzen of Kiln; Gary Barnard, Shawn Ann White and Michele Gayle Fee, all of Manteca, Calif.; and Tara Lynn Thomas of Turlock, Calif.
The court records show they each pleaded guilty Tuesday, March 22 to conspiracy to commit offenses against the United States.

They and three others including a Nigerian, Funso Hassan, 26 and Anthony Shane Jeffers of Maryville, Tenn, were indicted in an investigation that revealed scams that solicited workers in mass emails, paid workers with bogus checks and money orders and used stolen identities and fake credit cards to purchase high-dollar items shipped to the workers, who re-shipped them to other countries.


Chief U.S. District Judge Louis Guirola Jr. has set their sentencing for June 21, 2016. They each face up to five years in prison, three years' probation and a fine of up to $250,000. Franzen, Barnard and Thomas remain free pending sentencing.
Funso Hassan and Jeffers are set for trial April 11, 2016. They face prosecution on charges to include money laundering and fraud. Hassan remains in custody.

The seven were charged in a 19-count indictment filed last July. The crimes included identity theft, theft of government funds, bank fraud, wire fraud and mail fraud. The investigation started after Customs and Border Patrol agents began intercepting packages containing millions of dollars in fake checks and money orders.


A Homeland Security Investigations probe revealed the conspiracy began Aug. 13, 2001 and continued through June 3, 2015. The scams solicited workers via emails and the Internet. Some workers were paid to receive and re-ship expensive items, including jewelry, purses, computers and cellphones. The items were bought with fake credit cards and stolen identities.

Workers were instructed to deposit checks in their accounts, keep part of it and send the rest to someone else. The ruse used fraudulent U.S. Postal Service labels and counterfeit money orders and the wiring of money with the use of fake identifications.

The indictment said ill-gotten merchandise was shipped to people in Nigeria and other countries, and actual money changed hands in wire transfers of as much as $113,000.

HSI agents have said they seized $3.1 million in bogus money from Franzen's home in 2012. She allegedly received bogus checks from Nigeria in a package labeled "local soap and sponge herbs". Smaller amounts were also from other defendants' homes in 2013.

Actual money changed hands through wire transfers of as high as $113,000 at a time, the indictment said.

http://www.metronaija.com/2016/03/photos-nigerian-indicted-for-fraud-and.html

cc: lalasticlala mynd44

My friend, remove Nigerian from that topic and mention the country of those 4 individuals mentioned first as they never helped but coordinated the scam. You can subsequently say "along side a Nigerian". The Nigerian obviously is not the masterminder. This is a scam and not a Nigerian scam.

thekingisback:
That's someone's potential mother. When I tell you guys that Nigerian girls are useless you guys are quick to come for my head. Have you seen it now?

So its only the girl you where able to see in the act. So dumb.

AnakinSkywalker:
Actually the DPR regulates HSE in all Oil and Gas activities in Nigeria. It consist of 8 Divisions with of them being the HSE Division.
It has robust guidelines on HSE management/engineering with duties of the employer and employee and on confined space entry. As a matter of fact one of such guidelines, the MOSR 1997, is currently being reviewed a updated.

While we can say that awareness might not be there amongst owners and operators of many facilities, there are instances where Nigerians who are trained just feel the training is too much talk and "It Is God that protects" and the "I am fine in Jesus name/insha Allah" attitudes.

Usually for all major accidents DPR has a reporting system with a form (form 41) and an inquest will definitely be carried out. During the inquest, the head of the panel in DPR is granted the powers of a Magistrate.

We do not have regulatory agencies in Nigeria but revenue making firms

angelo5uk:
So they went to clean a very sensitive place like that without the proper personal protective equipment. Funny how many deaths cases in Naija are very avoidable.
Like we don't even value human life anymore

Not that we do not value human life but complacency had eroded the society. For goodness sake, you embarked on such task without enduring safety first? In Nigeria corruption and greediness has been the cause of all these things. We are only concerned about money

dahaz:
Eagles are playing to casual for my liking.

Even their training session was so casual compaired to the Egyptians.

DIKEnaWAR:
Before you talk: remember that as long as you depend on a man to recharge card, Dstv, light or buy you this and that or take you and your mother or sister shopping in Dubai or living off a man --Ajazeera is speaking to you! Learn mechanic or hair dressing instead of waiting for a man to pay you for spreading your legs for him.

Most Nigerian women now feel entitled to your money as soon as you start sleeping with them or even collect their number. E sweet me, e sweet you, yet you want me to pay?

Funny thing is, even the so called pilots and doctors and Lawyers have joined this game. Most of them have that chairman that pay for the expensive clothes, perfumes and vacations. There are still decent ones who don't, but they have become the endangered specie.

What are you saying. So founders of Aljezeera don't have prostitutes in their country. Why don't they use their own country for the headline. Speak against the headline. Is a prostitute different from the embezzling politicians? or they do not have criminals in their own country?

White007:
Open your mouth. If talking gets you nowhere then you need to face that what you want and what they want are diametrically opposed, and split amicably.


The point is compatablility. If one partner wants sex and the other doesn't that is a problem. Especially when those contraints were not agreed upon prior to marriage.

Sex in marriage is not meant to have a timetable therefore needs not to be agreed upon. It is written in the bible that it is better to marry than to burn. Just do it reasonably and not like a favour

Wives are the forerunners of sex refusal in marriage while men who thinks money does it all takes after them as runner up.
Mr, my advice to you is that do not ask her for sex again. You can stay off her for 3 months or more. I bet you if you've done no wrong to deserve her attitude she might start feeling neglected. Malice is bad but only discuss important things with her till she starts feeling she has offended you. If you do not face your problems squarely they will face you octagonally.

Ekugbeh:
Instead of claiming mr right, u quickly acknowledge ur mistakes n move on.
Hw many likes 4 Baba

Unlike the ICPC boss who couldn't accept is mistakes as regards stealing and corruption.

phemmie06:
But if the all the nation can for once raise our voices against the agents of corruption, the same way we stood against removal of fuel subsidy our country will have been better.

We never stood in one voice o. Nigerians were only used as pawns in the protest.