₦airaland Forum

Rita005:
Thanks guys... He is hardly perturbed about me not agreeing to his wishes.

A lot of things about him will change after having sex with him.
If you want to know the real him,, have sex with him first.
Just the sex ooo.
Don't go and carry your emotions and enter the sex, if not, your eyes won't be clear to see the whole handwriting on the wall.
..
In him I see a very caring sweet husband, with kids sef.
But he is living away from his family due to work or business.
But now, konji is catching up on him, and he doesn't want to do street ladies.
He is a very smart guy.
At least, you now see why married men tend to take good care of ladies better than their single counterparts?

Rita005:
Hi folks! I feel like sharing my predicament with you and hope to get a solution. Please bear with me cuz it's a long read. I'm a 26 years old banker (not contract staff) in one of the south south states.

Recently, I met a beautiful soul and I think I'm getting so fond of him now. We connected after the close of service in church and exchanged contacts. He was kind enough to drop me off my house. This guy is doing very well for himself (lives in a nice estate and owns a good ride).

A short while after our first meeting, we spoke on phone and I didn't know when I asked him why he isn't married. He told me it's a long story and would like to talk about it when we meet one-to-one. Fast forward, we met and he told me all there is about him. He's 34, got married about 2 years ago, but now separated from his wife. The reason he gave for the separation was lack of trust from his wife. According to him, his wife is so insecured to a fault. According to him, the first week he got married was when he started regretting his actions. After their marriage, his wife travelled down home to bring her remaining baggage. Before she returned, he made sure he cleaned the house thoroughly. However, when his wife came back, she headed straight to the fridge (she had made soup and stew before traveling) and the next thing was cry! According to him, he said he was confused at first. it was when he asked her what the problem was that she said he brought a woman to their matrimonial home. He said he cried so much and regretted marrying a woman with a possessed mind.

According to him, all the signs were there before marriage and he ended the relationship more than 5 times but she kept begging. What she was holding on to was that there's no assurance that the guy will marry him, hence, her fears. According to him, the woman has accused him of sleeping with his former neighbors and she insisted that they move out of that area. for peace to reign, he agreed and they got another accommodation.

Again, she started accusing him of having something with his new neighbors (even the married ones). To be honest, this guy is admirable and very reserved and I'm not sure if he's doing all the things his wife accused him of. He got angry when his wife decided to report him to the church authority. According to him, this woman has no single proof of him cheating but her reprobate mind is affecting her badly. She even went ahead to share demeaning messages about him (her husband) on her whatsapp status. This guy said he has pleaded with her to stop but it's getting worse. Now, they were married for about two years without a child. He said he could manage to live with the woman for more years without a child but can't do that when his peace is been threatened. He said his wife nags a lot and it was driving him crazy. According to him, his mum was never in support of the marriage but dad was interested in it. As it stands now, he has left his wife and moved to another state where we both met.

I have been friends with him for about 3 months now and I must say that this guy is a sweet human being. He asked me out but I told him we should just be friends, owning that he's still legally married. However, my feelings for him is growing everyday and this guy knows how to get one emotionally attached to him. Even though I can perceive that he wants sex with me, he never begs or act too anxious over it. He's so calm and mature and this is making me to admire him the more.

Note: He said he has talked about divorce with his wife but she's refusing it. This is where my concerns come in.
Now, I'm scared of going into a relationship with him knowing that he's not divorced yet.

To be honest, I can hardly concentrate these days because the thought of this guy has occupied my mind. Can I go ahead with him or the implications would be overwhelming? To be honest, I've not met a guy has coolheaded and admirable as this guy but I'm scared.
please I need advice on how to handle this situation.

Thanks

Madam,, for the sake of your fellow woman (the man's wife), and for the sake of fair hearing,, please hear the woman's side of the story too.
Please....

inoki247:
Hmmmm...

Start work first oga...

Goan rest no dey campaign after Election..


Ariwo ti fe poju music...

Anything he says now will be used for-or-against him when the right time comes

NwaNimo1:
Correction: Mega State.

[img]https://media./images/5e521b54db7c81864db37420a0b031f4/tenor.gif[/img]

.....Onitsha is the mega city!

Soludo is saying that the whole of Anambra will metamorphose into one biiigg Mega-CityState.
...
A Biiiiggg City known as ANAMBRA..

Odewaleadesoye:
One of the advantages of taking good care of yourself and running away from adultery.

She's blessed indeed.

Is she a baby-mama?
Wife?
Or widow?

Iyaebe:
Not even about money because they are very rich,she should know how to hide her attraction. hian

Your friend in not a fake-ass social-media-brainwashed feminist.

Iyaebe:
She's a nice person but I'm surprised at this her show of shame

Women sef.
See as you're just getting angry over the joy and happiness of your fellow woman.
..
Where is the shame in a woman realising that her happiness is with a certain guy, and she went for the happiness??

Iyaebe:
My friend came to visit last Sunday and met my cousin brother who came visiting, she asked who he was and I told her then I noticed she steal glances at him at intervals and not fully interested in our discussion.

Ever since then she has sort of made our house her second home and I don't need to be told that she's very interested in him.

Whenever she comes around and we are discussing, she will just be nodding and contributing with few words while her main work is to be stealing glances at him and this has made me so angry that each time she calls that she's coming I'll tell her I'm not home but she will still come.

Yesterday when she called to inform me that she was coming which I told her I was not home and I will branch her place when I'm returning. I knew she will come, so I went to hide in my room, and behold when I came out, I met her and my cousin having some conversation and I'm sure she initiated it. I didn't even give her face as I was so annoyed as to why a lady will present herself so cheap for a man she barely knows.

Now I want to fully stop her from coming to our house but I don't know where to pick on her because she's a nice person aside this cheap silly attitude she's displaying. How do I go about it?

If your cousin have started liking her, forget it.

bitbillionaire:
You are funny sha. No need to go to court to prove anything. His open confession is an evidence against him. If he should follow your advice he would be going straight to 'hell fire' he is so afraid of as he can't undo what he just did to himself untill he forfeits all the certificates he acquired through the JAMB result.

From the message that JAMB sent to him, I could see that JAMB was low-key telling him to move on with his life and forgive himself of his own past., and then sin no more.
But if he definitely couldn't just forgive himself, then he had to forfeit all the certificates and jobs and any other additional credits in his life which were based on the JAMB Exam.
It's simple...
So, it's easier for him to forget about seeking forgiveness from JAMB, and do the forgiveness to himself by himself.

HonNL:
No Apology, Forfeit All Certificates, JAMB Insists



SOURCE

This means, he should better forget the fact that he wrote the letter.
He should repent again from the repentance which he repented.
Let them go to the court and prove that he cheated.

Ok naa

VenusGod:
See me see wahala.

Six month into the relationship, she says that i am to gentle for her liking.

Met her at a friend's place. And that my friend is very rugged. He smokes and drinks alot. I don't smoke but i drink too.

She taught i am rugged like my friend. Anytime she visits me in my house. She would be speaking all those stupid gangster/Cultism language too me. I warned her several time to stop speaking those nonsense to me.

Yesterday, we had a little misunderstanding, omo, come see the para wey this babe dey para for me. I told her i am no longer interested again with the relationship. She said over her dead body. She sey if i no bet her she go put am for my body woto woto.

I just kuku close my mouth. I pretended that every thing was okay until she left. Now she dey call me since for phone and refuse to pick her calls or reply her messages.

See me se wahala.

If you marry her, she will become a husband-beater in your house

t2luv1:
You know what I think it's high time Nigeria calls you Igbo bluff and lets you have your Biafra. Trust me I don't think your brethren in the Amuwo area has gotten the memo regarding your Biafra plan, maybe some of them might not like the idea of losing the millions of naira homes to some Biafra scheme. By the way, whatever happens to you people claim that Lagos is an open city. Do you people want Biafra and Lagos? what a bunch of delusional people

I won't go through this very type of nonsense argument again in my life.

EcoBrick:
https://www.vanguardngr.com/2022/01/2023-south-east-wont-accept-vp-slot-igbo-leaders-warn/

These nonsense people that call themselves Igbo Leaders are senseless..
..
If they knew they needed Igbo Presidency, why didn't they work for it all these while??
..
We don't need Igbo Presidency.
We need Biafra....
Or else, we need a well-structured Nigeria for the meantime pending the time Biafra comes.
...
Anybody can be the president, no wahalla.
But let the person structure Nigeria properly.

FERNANDEZISBACK:
Do what's great for you..if you are comfortable and know him and the reason for the separation good for you..

Follow your instincts..

A clear Fact is that You have deep problems..
But funny enough, you're not aware of such a Fact yet..

NovesaTillie:
Please I need only matured minds on this.
It's a serious matter.

My elder sister and her husband were married for 5 years and separated November last year but not divorced yet, though the families have been trying to reconcile them to come back together but my sister's husband has been adamant about it.

I noticed that ever since his separation from my sister he started visiting my place and now it has become frequent. I allowed it because I see him as a brother but now I am starting to really enjoy his company. He has been helping me out with stuffs and still maintains his kindness towards my parents.

He proposed marriage to me yesterday and I have been confused. I will be 30 by February 2nd.
Should I accept his proposal?

Madam, even if you're going to be 50 tomorrow, it has nothing to do with this story you just told us about your sister's marriage.
..
(In fact, the age you added there made me believe you cooked up this story, and you added the age there so that we can use the age and consider telling you to accept the proposal)
..
Now, how are we sure that their marriage was not even having problems because of the guy’s deep hunger for you?

To me, this is nonsense talks.
Let the fighting and warring begin.
..
This was the reason 2015 and 2019 happened.
..
They were sowing this seed all these while in patience.
Now, the time has come to reap the fruits of the harvest..
But two farmers have started indicating strong interest.

Raalsalghul:
I understand you, but will he ignore his child because of the problems with his wife.

I'm one that's very sensitive towards child care as they didn't ask to be brought into this world.

Even though he doesn't send money directly, he could pay the child's school fees directly into the school's account, get stuff for her when visiting and all that.

My own concern here is his daughter, will he ignore her too? Should she suffer for the foolishness of both parents?

I too didn't suggest that he backed off.
But the amount he is spending should drastically reduce.
Only the very necessary payments which concern the child’s upkeep and welfare that he should be concerned about.
The mother of the child can fend fully and totally for herself.

Explorers:
Taking Precise Measurements Of A Beautiful Young Woman's Head And Face With A Contraption Like An Instrument Of Torture, 1933.

In modern days, a face-scanning machine would get this same results faster and better

kingthreat:
If she hates sex, why then she get married? This is true in many women but extremely selfish

She probably married out of societal pressure.
Let it not be that she grew old and stayed put in her father's house unmarried.
And the aim - to have one or two kids and buckle her belts totally.
..
..
Many women are like that out there.

FERNANDEZISBACK:
.

Hmm

..
..
..
..
Following
Following
Following..
..
No sleep for me today.
..
..
..

Raalsalghul:
https://www.nairaland.com/6623072/2023-osinbajo-leader-wings-grace

https://www.nairaland.com/6689979/2023-presidency-osinbajo-nigerias-future


At the above link, that was how they sold PMB to us in 2015, 6 years down the line we have many writhing in poverty.

Nigerians are too forgetful! Haba!

As for me, once bitten thrice shy.

I'm not falling for this.

Never again!

Ok.
So, who are you supporting please?

spice123:
The main issue from both the old thread op posted and this one is:
1. Op has not told the whole truth here on why a married wife is starving her husband sex.
2. Op would've found out what is borthering his wife emotionally not acting from his d**k.
3. If your wife is just starving you sex for no reason, then she is getting it from someone. It's that simple.

..
You see this one??
It's NOT always true.
Some women hates sex..
And most times, it's because of their past encounter..
Probably she was raped when she was younger, and the thing scattered her natural liking for sex.
And now, it happened again right inside her marriage..
It is really affecting her psychologically.
Reason why her parents are on her side.
So that she can heal first.

Noah9:
Please I'm not asking anyone for money here and why're you calling me a Simp?

Just because I needed my wife back home?? It's my wife I married legally I'm talking about here.

Oga..
..
You married her legally, and it is clouding your brain to the extent you forgot to marry her in your own normal reality.
..
You're carrying the tag of Legal Husband all over, but you lost your position as the Husband in her own eyes.

Raalsalghul:
Bro ignore them (your wife especially) since you've apologized and they don't want to budge.

You already have her account number so keep sending the usual and keep records of transactions.

Also make sure you take out time to see your daughter may be bi-weekly but under no condition should you make another conciliatory move towards your wife.

I have a feeling she's tired of the marriage and you can use the ignore button to test that fact. She might return or not and that's what you'll use to guide your next line of action.

Free money brings free wahalla..
I guess you know that one??
Why would he be sending same amount of money to her like as before, when she's no longer in the house again to be doing the usual house up-keeping and family feeding plans with the money??
..
There are conditions and consequences that go with every decisions and actions

Noah9:
If she needed space, that's not a problem. I don't mind buying food outside and I promise not to ask her for sex But let her just come home. Let's talk things. She haven't said a word to me.

Do you know what SPACE means sef?

Noah9:
Sir, she did not tell me her reasons,
how would I know, when I'm not a witch.

I'm also sure it's because of that incident, that's why her parents are acting up. She might as well add some lies.. Who knows.

Seriously I'm so depressed.

Even though you're married,, can you just forget that marriage fact for now and face your life as if you're just a strong bachelor??
...
Somehow,, I can see that your own attitude and perspective to life is also causing a lot of things for you.

Iyaebe:
Only a foolish woman denies her husband sex for no conc and genuine reasons, you should have ignored her and also refuse her when she starts showing interest, I so much hate it when a woman messes up a good man for no reasons especially if he takes care of her needs. Why are you even begging? Stop those nonsense apologies and act like a man,sometimes I like some of the teachings of the redpill, I hate weak men and they can never attract me.You've already apologized to her,stop going to her parents house to act like a simplyton,please read some of the redpill nuggets and apply it but don't add bitterness to it,it will help you act and reason like a real man.Moderator lalasticla move to front page let nairalanders see my comment and know that I'm not biased and I have wisdom and very sensible too,let them also know that I'm just entertaining them with most of my comments.

Madam..
Were you the one that typed this??
??
Like, seriously??

Noah9:
I want to thank everyone for their advice and I really appreciate everyone involvement about the thread I created 2week ago. Here is the link.
https://www.nairaland.com/6933724/regretted-actions-please-me

Great people of this forum, honestly things have never been better ever since that incident and I wish our minds are like show glass so that y'all would see how sorry I am inside of me. I messed up and I'm really sorry.

5 days after I created that post above, My wife traveled with my daughter to her parents house to stay without telling me. Since that incident my wife haven't said a word to me, Not a single word. Sometimes I wonder if she's the same woman I married. I'm frustrated, incoherent and I'm losing my mind.

I've been good to her, I provide 85% for my family while she bring just 15% yet I don't complain, I'm romantic and good looking, since we married I don't keep female friends not to talk of cheating. Yet She denied me sex over 2 months without any reasons, that was why I acted that way and I'm so sorry.

On Tuesday here, My friend and I traveled to her parents house, they did not even welcome us well, I don't know what she must have told her parents but I explained myself, knelt down and asked for forgiveness.

She refused to come home with me, her parents were just starring at me like I'm some demon, I requested for my daughter but she refused to release her and I've already paid my daughter's school fees for the term. Her parents said they would register my daughter in a new school, that my wife need some space for now.

Please don't call me a weak man, I'm family oriented, I don't want broken home, if she needed some space that's not a problem, I can give her all the space in the world but let her come home. It's not proper raising a child in a broken home...I'm really losing my mind.

I faced query today at work because I traveled without informing my Boss which I know he won't allow me and I know how much would be deducted from my salary. what I'm going through now I can't wish my enemies and I wish I could turn back the hands of time. I messed up.

Beloveth Pls I need advice.

Meeehnn..
I thank God so much for my own family ooo..
..
Wallahi..
..
The things I read on Nairaland eeehn,, I just dey wonder how e take happen to me that I married the type of woman that I married.
..
Na God Ooo.

22o62021:
...

Na you Sabi.
Na you still go taaya for women matter

OkpaNsukkaisBae:
The People's Choice. i wish SE can produce three soludos at a time.

It is very very possible.
Even Five Of Them Sef