₦airaland Forum

johnkey:
how about that guy who just drives to a campus, pick up a girl, drives her to her hostel, collects her number, meet her friends same night, call her the next day to meet in a nice hotel, they chill, everywhere soft, girl is getting wet, tell her lots of lies to get her wet( yeah it's okay lying to girls), they bang later that night, he drives her home next morning so she won't be late for classes, he blocks and deletes her number. I'm that guy lol. wise up and make money brother.

Did you factor in the time you drove her to and fro campus? The hotel and the food you paid. If you keep up with this activity, I can assure you that your expenses would be more than your income.

He doesn’t need to say he has proof. Release the proof. Your ex-wife is shading you in public. You cannot be taking selfies and saying you have proof.

slightlyMad:
Is he trying to say his wife moved on leaving these well taken care of kid with him to cater for alone?

If this is true because i doubt any woman will, why can he take pictures with them if they are with him.

The woman left him with the kids. Very rare for women to do. I have listened to Emeka’s story. Though, I treated it with a pinch of salt. I understand a famous pastor was involved in their separation.

Regardless of the issues, grievances and circumstances, I still find it difficult to believe that his wife sleeps comfortably without any active role in her children’s lives. Yet some people here are commenting like they forgot their brains in bus

Strange times indeed

prospero5:
it's time emaka stopped acting all-sissy about this. he is behaving like a bitter neighbour in a face-me-i-face-you neighbourhood. act grown, bro.

You are not in the man’s shoes and won’t feel his pain. Anyways you’re entitled to your opinion. Enjoy it.

Emeka gave a powerful message - do not abandon your kids for any reason.

GloriaNinja:
WHATEVER ROCKS HER FEATHER THOUGH
..AFTERALL MOST NIGERIAN MEN ARE NOT AS CARING AS SOME WHITE MEN, WHETHER YOUNG OR OLD.

Look at someone with an inferior mindset. Too much Hollywood is disturbing your life. When you use the word most, that includes your daddy and brothers if you have any.

Is the president referring to Libya returnees? If that’s the case, it’s depicts how insensitive he is. Also, please someone should remind the president that Nigerians are taking up refugee status in Canada and Canadian border control has estimated that 900 Nigerians cross NY to Quebec per day. These Nigerians prefer to live as second class citizens in Canada.

Consequently, I don’t understand what the president is saying

Poverty mentality

Olalan:
And when they tag women as sex objects some peeps shout on roof tops against them. Now females both slaying and non slaying take pictures with more focus on showing their boobs or bum

They display their wares and still tell you they have nothing to sell and as a result of demand that women are into prostitution a.k.a runzs. Hypocrites

Apina:
Iwobi behind the strikers against Argentina nd in the second half against England was the catalyst in changing our fortunes. Why is Mikel playing behind the striker?

I wonder

LaudableXX:
Wrong! A woman above 30 cannot marry herself. If at that age she does not have a suitor in her life, who has proposed marriage to her, then how on earth is it her fault if she is still single? Or do ladies above 30 wear a signboard on their heads declaring their availability? Or should they walk up to any man they meet on the street and propose marriage, in order to get into holy matrimony? Or is there a supermarket in town where that commodity called 'marriage' is sold, where they can go in to buy it, but somehow failed to do so?

The desperate ones do. Trust me I know. I’m not bashing anyone. The one liner for all I have said is - take charge of your life. You cannot say a lady will not marry herself. Does she not have a boyfriend. If she doesn’t, she should go and look for. Go out to places you can meet potential suitors. Don’t be inside your house praying for a spouse. Will the man go inside your house to meet you there.

Go out and network. Meet people and show genuine interest in them and not being selfish because that’s the mindset of the average Nigerian woman. Oh the Man must suffer and spend money to get me - at your old age! You want to compete with the 25s. If a man is not serious about you, move on please.

If she has a boyfriend, bring up the marriage discussion. Make him get serious about it. If he is not serious, please move on. A man does not need a mansion or financial stability before he gets married. Infact, in my case, marriage brought financial stability for me.

I hate it when people does want to admit their errors and fix them. I don’t have time for bullshitters and cry babies. It’s your life, take charge and direct your destiny. Else breeze go blow you throwey. That’s how life treat people who don’t want to take charge of their life.

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
Ladies past their 30th birthday and unmarried are irresponsible? Is that what you trying to say? You think at some point if fun being single?

Irresponsible in my contextual usage doesn’t not only imply immoral. It also means inability to take on responsibility and poor decision making. Please if I mean engaging in immoral conduct or sexual conduct, I would state it clearly. I choose my words carefully and construct them objectively to arrive at what I mean.

Hence, yes ladies who are above 30 and not married are irresponsible. Some still engage in immoral conduct. Others are afraid of commitment or taking on extra responsibility, whilst some cannot making decisions for themselves. The same applies to men above 40 yet to be married.

LaudableXX:
There are too many slangs that get tossed about in the public domain, yet they have very little meaning. One of them is the one you quoted, saying “a fool at 40, is a fool forever”. A lot of things could have happened in a man's life, till he got to the age of 40. Every single human being is different, and no two people develop at the same pace. Different destinies, different events and different outcomes characterise a person's life. For those who have not learnt this truth, and seek to pattern their lives according to the type lived by others, or in tune with someone else's misguided notions, then they have themselves to blame.

The idiom - a fool at 40, is a fool forever, indicates everything I stated in my previous comment. A man at 40 should be able to sort his affairs out. Life is a choice. Your circumstances may be different, but the decision to change it depends on YOU.

Getting married at 25, 30, or 35 is not a guarantee that your marriage would be happy, successful or even productive. Every man has his own life to live, or his own journey to map out. So castigating a man who is not married at 40 is myopic, especially when you do not know his life story or the events that have transpired to keep him single. Marriage does not make anybody responsible, neither is a married man a prototype of responsibility.

We are not talking about successful marriage, but getting married and even making your marriage a success still depends on YOU putting in time and commitment to ensure success. If both partners have a success objective for their marriage, you begin to see the work and commitment they both put in the marriage and definitely such marriage will turn out successful. However, if one party is selfish or is not committed, then the marriage crashes. Your ability to pick out a successful partner still depends on YOU. Do your DUE DILIGENCE PROPERLY before you get married.

You talk as if a lady of 30 years is the one who will marry herself. Is marriage a commodity that can be bought in the market? I fail to see the connection between why a lady who is unmarried at 30 should be blamed for being single! Is she going to propose to herself? Or did anyone dash her a potential husband, and she rejected it? I have been in a position to counsel people on this issue, and the lack of understanding exhibited by people who know nothing about the lives of single men and women, is astounding - yet they proceed to blame them for being single.

A lady who wants to get married knows what to do. She must identify her objective with her partner and if such partner does not share such objective then what are you still doing with such person? From day one, highlight your objective. I have had women walk out on me because I told them I wasn’t ready for marriage yet. Should such lady continue to be with me? Is that not stupidity.

Success means different things to different people. To some people the ability to live a peaceful life with contentment is success. To others, a flashy car or a big mansion or billions in the bank is success, even if they have to lie, cheat, steal and kill to acquire such vanity. So equating success with marriage, is shallow. Especially when the definition of success varies from one person to the next!

Success is achieving your objective. First, you must have one, then have a plan to achieve it, implement the plan; having controls in place Incase of any changes and when the objective is achieved, you can consider such objective a success. So what is your objective? Don’t tell me. It’s for you to rationalize it.

There are too many irresponsible married men in our society, that it is no longer a surprise that many homes are dysfunctional. Putting a label or an age, on the time or age a man or woman should have gotten married, is nothing but sheer crass ignorance. Let everyone live his own life as he deems fit, without hurting the next person. There are different strokes, for different folks. Marriage does not guarantee happiness. Only illogical dreamers still believe that fairytale. You can only make yourself happy, from within.

True - we have many irresponsible men and women worldwide. People who want to continue cheating the system and feel they have the right to do so. They are the ones telling us doing irresponsible stuff is cool. If we are all responsible adults, no one would bother about cheating or even quarreling with their spouse. Marriage is responsibility to one self, to your partner, to your family (if you have kids) and commitment to that oath of responsibility you took on the altar or to yourself. Marriage should not guarantee you happiness. You are responsible for your own happiness. Do you get happy on your job all the time? I doubt that because there are some days you don’t feel like working, but you go to work because you owe your employers, customers, staff members/colleague, a duty of care. Same is with marriage. If you want to be happy in your marriage, you have to do things in your marriage that makes you happy and likewise your family. Stop looking for someone else to make you happy - that’s silly.

I need to retract my previous statement of last comment and address some salient point you raised above. See my response to each paragraph above.

LaudableXX:
You were making sense, until you chipped in your last sentence. And that statement totally messed up the points you were trying to make. Is marriage now a commodity displayed on a shelf inside a supermarket, that you can easily walk in to buy? Or is it like a pack of chips in a restaurant, that you can easily place an order for, and have it microwaved and delivered in 10 minutes?

A lot of factors come into play, before marriage can happen. There is no spiritual or divine law that governs a particular age, at which a man or a woman should get married. Even man-made codified laws, that place a marriageable adult's age at 18 or 21, are only doing so out of expediency. What mental maturity and common sense does an 18-21 year old have, to deal with the rigours or challenges of marriage?

A lot of people are NOT married for a variety of reasons. Age is not an indicator of maturity. Leave people alone to get married, at whatever age they feel suits them best, or at whatever age they feel they are mentally, spiritually and financially ready to take on the responsibility of marriage. It is no one's business.

A lot of people who go into marriage out of peer pressure, or because they are terrified of some unseen clock counting down, end up being miserable in such unions. Simply because they did not get married for the right reasons. The high divorce rates in our societies today, bears witness to this fact. Making blanket statements like "what are you waiting for," reeks of cluelessness and shallowness.

Nice contribution. The kind of people that deserve my time.

Does this word mean anything to you - “a fool at 40, is a fool forever”.

At 40, a man should be able to sort out his affair and life. What has he been doing with 40 years of his life for Pete sake. Marriage does not require so much money, it requires proper planning. I even married late. Give me back my youth age and I won’t make that mistake again. So why waste 40 years of your life?

My father used to tell me every second matters and as each second passes, you can’t get it back even the seconds I’m using to respond to you. So you must effectively plan your life because we live on limited time. Time is actually more precious than money. So what is a man at 40 looking or waiting for to start a family if he is serious about marriage and what is a lady at 30 doing with 30 years of her life and her eggs which is of limited quantity?

Please let’s stop beating about the bush. The difference between a successful individual and another is their ability to plan and manage time. If you are organized, things would certainly go well for you. Like I have previously stated, I wasted my younger adult age pretending I was having fun. I regret them to these day as I have to work extremely hard to cover up. So why would a man at 40 wait so long to understand responsibility and commitment, and a woman too. At 40, a man should be consolidating on his gains as he approaches middle-age where things become more clearer, why start a family at that age - phewww and then struggle with raising a family at middle age and the quarrels that comes with knowing and living with a stranger(often associated with newly weds).

Please if you belong to that category - waste no time and organize yourself and if you are not in that category, don’t wait. Get organize and start your family. Dissociate from friends who think that way - they are never do wells. If you meet elderly ones, they would tell you the same and the reason why is that because they are more experienced.

Parents mount pressure because they know better. Many may not be able to provide valid reasons for their pressure but it gets harder starting a family as you get older than your youth and please don’t subscribe to baby mamas or daddies - that’s the highest level of irresponsibility. The truth is bitter and hard to swallow.

This is my last comment on this and I won’t say anymore. It’s your life, live it as you please. I have got work to do before it gets noon here.

vivie01:
So who's talking about right or wrong way of passing message here? Birds of a feather.

I don’t understand you question. I am married and My wife was 25 when I married her. I can assure you that in my irresponsible days, I dated a lot and even lost body counts and my preferrence were older ladies as many as desperate and are willingly to keep you happy. To give you an idea, I dated so much that my landlord, during my bachelorhood was angry with me due to
my frivolities. I can say to some certain degree, I know women. I am not bragging about it because these are tales I cannot tell my own son or advise him to indulge in.

However, I had to advise myself and decided to settle down and I picked a younger lady who cared about me and who I love. I did not consider the older folks even though many of them pretended that they love me. I didn’t want the baggage and the risk of me waiting and praying for a child. There is always a story or stories behind that old face as experience has taught me.

I have a family now that I care about and owe a responsibility to. Marriage changed me. Marriage made me more focus on my life choices. Marriage made me identify what my priorities in life are. Marriage showed me who I owe a duty of care to. Marriage made me consider my professional life and career choices and marriage continues to make me evaluate my decisions and ensure they are the best for my family. Prior to marriage, I lived an irresponsible life. There was no club on the Island that you won’t find me on fridays. I was a serial heartbreaker and playboy. Even though, I had a huge responsibility in the office and people reporting to me, my social life was irresponsible and sometimes reflect on my job. When I decided to do a body count, it exceeded the hundreds and I had to stop due to shame and those were people I could remember.

I am taking my time to share this because there is nothing to gain being single if you truly want to get married. I can confidently tell you that.

So a man who is 40 and not married is grossly irresponsible. Same for a woman who is above 30. Irresponsibility does not mean being immoral, but you inability to be committed indicates irresponsibility and lack of values.

MrBrownJay1:
ARRANT NONSENSE!
marriage does NOT make a man being responsible (as the majority in Nigeria will gladly cheat if the opportunity presented itself)... in Africa, marriage is synonymous with happiness, and nothing more. if you ask the majority of people WHY they want to get married, many would give you answer that, although may be "right" to them, it is clear BS.
if you want to get married because your holy book demands that you do in order to be happy, then i am sorry to say, its BS! same with people marrying because that is what society demands of you. then most of you would have the audacityto come and blame whatever other nonsense when (not if) these marriages miserably fail... come on!



again, look at Nigeria and open your eyes... even though society looks down on baby mamas, MANY are going into it. you can only look at how many celebrities have them to understand that its a way of life that you better accept, unless you wanna fool yourself that it is NOT happening.
today, with the rate of how many women out there are single and desperate to have a man they call their own, it is damn easy to NOT get married and still have a babe for years (and if that babe prefers to marry a donkey, then let her join the miserable people's queue)



BWAAAAAAH look at you talking about pressure, yet you are the one to demand that people over a certain age should be married or be called irresponsible. have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe, with the way women are desperate for a man, men dont NEED to get married at all? give me a good reason why a successful men should get married, if he doesnt want to? what is marriage gonna change about his way of life and/or success in life? is marrying the GF that cooks/cleans/and fukcs him every night gonna change anything? doesnt this same babe who does that unmarried know that there will be 1000 babes begging to be with this successful man, if she doesnt act RIGHT? so again, why should a successful man get married, if he doesnt desire to do so?

abeg, think about it while i go watch the 2nd half of that thrilling match here ouais!

If you look up to people you call celebrities as role model, people who consistent users of hard drugs and engage in immoral behaviors, then you don’t deserve my valuable time or my response because it exposes you as a child in nascent stage or an adult who is unable to anticipate wrong from right.

Good day!

vivie01:
Good comment! That guy's comment was very gross and savage to the core! Lots of psychopaths and mentally deranged roaming NL these days.

@IamD18, "30 and above are expired and should consider suicide as option" really boy? #SMH#

It’s not the right way to pass your message, but the message is clear.

Attention seeking freak with personality disorder

anigold:
if being 25 was the only recipe for getting good life partners then why do we still have millions of single under 26 ladies at Shiloh every year.. marriage is a very complex institution.

Nothing complex about marriage. If people who act responsibly, we won’t have marital issues. You still find irresponsible people having extra martial affairs even when married. Marriage is what you want it to be. But there is no excuse not to be married or for the guy who said having children out of wedlock is cool, that’s the height of irresponsibility.

What we find now is people who are irresponsible wanting society to accept them for who they are and the choices they make. Please they should go and fix up their lives.

26 is not a bad age to get married. However, at 40, for a man or 30 for a woman, what are you still looking for?

RiyadhGoddess:
Thank you sir. When I realize I have an issue, I will seek solution but for now, I have none.


All the best at your work.

You do have a problem and your inability to identify and address it is shocking. You are 31 and do you know that the risk for you having children is higher than that of a 25 years old and as you aged it gets more expensive for you to have children. The number of eggs you have has an inverse relationship with your age. As you grow old, your eggs reduces and the chances for your having children decreases.

Second, as you aged gracefully, your attractiveness in the romance market reduces. You cannot pick and choose your partner like a lady of 25 who still have time ahead. Also, you attract desperate men to your life because they know you are old.

Please go and work on yourself and if the man you are with is not considering settling down, please seek to address such concern.

MrBrownJay1:
ARRANT NONSENSE!
marriage isnt/shouldnt be a reason to value someone, thats is the exact same SOCIETY BS. many today dont NEED/WANT to get married because they already have baby mamas (or baby daddies) and what not?! why buy the damn cow when you can get the milk for free.

the above message is the reason why so many useless people will desperately go and get married to donkeys out there... and with the rate of divorce (and stories of murder within marriage), no wonder many prefer to stay single and play "away games".

You need to re-examine your cognitive ability to reason. Who are the many people that prefer baby mamas or baby daddies or the children are products of gross irresponsibllity. Marriage certainly increases your perception in any society as it shows that you can handle family responsibility. As we are very aware that many employers terminate the employment of staff engage in gross immorality such as extra-marital affairs or conducts not acceptable by society. Trump, one of the most powerful men in the world, is under serious scrunity as a result of his sexcapades with a porn star and many are calling for his resignation. Bill Clinton was impeached by the House of congress because he engaged in sexual immorality with an intern during his presidential tenure. Some employers would not promote you to higher responsibility such as CEO if you are not married because it is assumed you are afraid of commitment.

Some people in the West do not marry or marry late because the government has brought its law to family affairs whereby the women seemed to have the advantage. However, in Nigeria, the cost to get married is relatively cheap in comparison with other society. Hence, what is the excuse. Even LGBT fought right through to the Supreme Court to have their right to marriage acceptable to the society at large. Now, I repeat again what is your excuse for not getting married or what is the excuse for any Nigerian lady above 30 not to get married. I see none other than self denial and the inability to address their issue.

Any man who is above 40 or a woman who is above 30 and not married is grossly irresponsible. The point on people getting married to the wrong partner is not society’s fault, but the lack of due diligence and not pressure. Why put yourself under pressure when you can effectively plan your life and decided when and whom you want to get married to.

Is she slamming the doctors for telling her about of her medical conditions? I’m happy she is enjoying life.

Whilst we are busy arguing who is real and who is fake, remember that salvation is a personal race. Your pastor is also in that race. I know many of them act like they have finished the race - Na lie. They are also participants just like you and all man and everybody will
answer their own name.

A lot of people have mistaken prosperity to salvation. Riches do not take you to heaven even Jesus said in the Bible it would be easier for a thread to pass through a needle hold than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God. If your pastor is rich, it doesn’t translate to the fact that he serves the true God or he is genuine. Let’s not
confuse materialism for spirituality.

I do not want to criticize any church leader, but a lot of them have deviate from the true teachings of Jesus and are now pursuing material things and empire building.

Who is the mother and who is the child?

This form of deceit is dangerous. That’s why a lot of Nigerians, especially poor ones, would rush to the church seeking miracles rather than go to the hospital. I have seen many lose their lives because of this. Yet these wicked church leaders jet outside the shores of Nigeria to seek top notch health services.

I give you another example - these wicked church leaders tell you God is your security and continue to encourage you to reside in unsecured locations, yet they patronized the Nigerian Police and recruit the finest Mopol officers to serve as the personal bodyguard.

When will Nigerian Christians wake up from their slumber?

sammirano:
Here we go again, why call him a mad man for saying the truth. Yoruba will not do this. Use your senses for once na

That’s his opinion and not the truth. He has the right to air or express his opinion and at the same time, he should be prepared for the criticism that come with it. In my own opinion, I wonder if he would have maintained this view if he had not benefited from Tinubu.

This is one is worse than FFK

PrecisionFx:
Nope.

Stripper is not same as a prostitute.
Stripper is not an alternative to prostitute.

If you pay a stripper $20 to give you a BJ - what do you still call her - stripper

JhyMedex:
I find mysef siding wit u on this one..

Howeva for most ladies dt r 30 n not married..the reason was not dt dey took deir tym adding value to their lives..
most of dem at dt age still want to depend on a man 4 most tins.
They often lack d maturity n wisdom dt comes wit age....

If a friend of mine tries to marry a gal of dt age..
i'll advice he checks out her history quite thoroughly...

u 30 meaning uve bn dating for atleast 8yrs..n in dt period no man has found u tolerable enof to marry?..
I bet dere's sth sour abt such a situation..

Gals start dating from 15 and most start being active sexually from 19. That’s 11 years of active relationship and the failure to keep a man. A woman at 30 that’s not married or not in a relationship is deficient in either values, upbringing, or physical looks etc

victorian:
We want matured men cos they have less stress, they are financially stable and not squatting . Then they treat women better in terms of material things and emotions. there is nothing like we are splitting house rent into two. Infact its a win win win situation

And he's got his rent covered already in a three bedroom flat or duplex .

That's what I call a man!

Are you actually getting married to escape poverty? What has paying rent got to do with being a man. Misplaced priorities!

The guy seem to have some point - why pick a 30 year old woman with a higher risk of not having kids over a 20 something old lady. A lady who is not married or not in a serious relationship at 30 needs intervention.

I married my wife when she was 25 and I was in my early 30s. During my dating/sporting period, I observed older women are desperate, have serious issues and more complex. Except the man had problem, please pick a younger woman for a wife.

This is not a Nigerian Officer I think.

Wasky101:
Wetin be this one again

E reach to ask