If she has covid or serious illness, she will not remember her phone or even think of posting. She posted because she wanted people to read her last statement. "My daddy came to see me". I thought she was her orphan.

Probably - her sugar daddy

This thread is part of the numerous mistakes men make in selecting their wives.

I have written a thread on how to pick a wife. For those still confused, go and read it. Picking a wife is one of the most important decision a man can ever make.

Be guarded.

Mercychen:
It's all shades of wrong. He's bringing discord in the marriage by cooking his meals separately.

What your uncle is doing can only mean two things. it's either he feels the wife cannot cook very well or he doesn't trust her; like she's going to poison him and that is a very bad impression he's giving about her.

Why marry and not eat your wife's food for five years?
Are they having any misunderstanding?
There must be an unresolved issue somewhere none of them is telling you and your Mom.

That your uncle is wicked. He's just punishing the woman.
If I'll advise her, let her Stop bothering about him. He's not worth it.

Learn to hear from the other side before arriving at a conclusion. This is one topic one gets limited to express opinions because first, it's hearsay from one source. Second, the full context is not known.

toprealman:

Rubbish! CNN will continue very well without him. When you have a system, let it work for you.
Yes he is good.....so?

Ratings are going down. He was their star man. Young people rarely watch cable news and older people are tired of CNN lies

This guy was CNN money maker and had the most watched show on CNN despite CNN falling ratings. I don't know if CNN would survive this because overall its ratings ain't doing well and the people are moving away from watching CNN due to its leftist propaganda and constant lies portrayed by the Cable News.

Bye Bye CNN - Fake News Station.

jimcaddy:
All these revenge on men by these women isn't necessary. For the fact that it didn't work out with all the men you've been with doesn't make all men bad. But I think you are also a reason why you attract who you attract.. Tonto should check herself. Her kid is still growing, he doesn't need all this drama.

This is how women operate. A lot of guys are unaware they are in a relationship with traumatic women. These women rather than heal themselves would jump into a relationship as quick as possible. There are also cases of women dating multiple men at the same time. Also, young men don't question these women to ascertain compatibility.

Guys not all women, regardless of what you think or feel, is compatible. Many are traumatic walking machine that will bring nothing but chaos to you. Engage in the practice of asking prospective girlfriends questions such as how many relationships they have been in. If the relationship is more than 2, ask them if they have gone for therapy. If the question is no, do not enter into a relationship with such women for your own good.

Don't be the next nairaland headline. Avoid traumatic women.

The entitlement of this old single mother is way out of proportion. She is still playing young folks game at her age. I guess mid-life crisis is taking a new turn. She always want to make the headline just to get attention even if such attention discredit her.

I hope prospective admirers and wannabes boyfriends are fully aware of their outcomes if they decide to elope with her romantically. You have been warned. Don't come on social media to scream. You can also take a look at your predecessors and your outcome will similar to theirs or even worse.

frozen70:


There must be a reason for her actions

Once a woman doesn't get satisfied with her man, there is tendencies of misbehaving

What a shame. Justifying silliness. If the woman is unsatisfied, let her leave her marriage. At least she is free to conduct her affairs as a single woman.

flokii:
@OP stop slapping or beating your wife.. it's very wrong.

Most women are like that to their mother-in-laws which actually is a misery cos they are meant to appreciate them as their own mothers.

Sit her down and ask if she wants the marriage dissolved, I'm sure she'll change. No let her wake up one day and poison your food o, you don go be that, na sorry go be your case.

I would rather say his mother should know her place. She had her family and won't allow her son have his own family.

This is victim mentality of women. The ladies on this forum screaming foul would end up last this in the latter phase of their lives. They live their lives through their children.

His mother is afraid of abandonment and loneliness and in this fear creating havoc in her son's marriage. The son claims to be a matured man but a matured man will understand his family comes first and your mother has had her family. Many Africans continue to be bonded to the families of their past instead of moving on.

Legendoo:


It's the adults. Have you noticed how they encourage them?

Everything is about how they feel. Cultural Marxism at it's finest, and no iota of accountability whatsoever. Just living like hillbillies from the 70s .

Those addicted to mpuri also told us to shut up and now have to deal with the consequences. See how they had no choice other than to flog them as Nigeria has no facilities to save people when things go wrong.

A wise person would analyse himself and the society they come from before imposing alien counter cultural norms on themselves.

Woke Ramota from abule egba has forgotten she's Nigerian and now living in western lala land lol.

Let them continue, we'll have the last laugh.

Great to see adults like you still exist. Kudos.

It is a shame my brother. Your comment is spot on. If a few of us had not picked up her ignorant comments, she would have pushed a false narrative. Guess what! Her clique of lowlives would protray it as stigmatization and continous oppression of Nigerian women. That is the narrative she wanted to paint with this thread.

Woke Ramota (very funny expression, I had to borrow it) has not seen Murtala Muhammad International Airport in a long while, but wants to dictate how things should be.

Thank you for also speaking up. There are lots of young kids on this platform that deserve to know the truth.

Loreettaa:

They'll say you're judgemental.

I could tell the OP is young, unmarried, uncultured, ignorant and not exposed when she was trying to justify her poor lifestyle choice. She excitely said she doesn't mind getting married to a smoker too. These are silly views made by inexperienced individuals.

She didn't not contemplate the impact of such unhealthy lifestyle on her children, the social cost, the health cost, and financial implications such lifestyle would have on her family. These are the kind of girls that think marriage life is happy times, restaurants groping, vacations, clubbing, and shopping.

I know some smoking couples suffering their irresponsible lifestyle choices. Some of them are no longer together. Others blaming each other for their miserable lives. While a few detesting their wives openly and in public for smoking and even calling them prostitutes.

Wrecxman:


I think you missed the point of this post until your last line...

The question here was why women who smoke are denigrated while almost nothing is said about their male counterparts who do the same.

He highlighted the ignorance of the OP citing society don't frown at women who smoke in the west. It clearly shows the OP has never traveled or lived in the west. It is harshly frown at. Smoking is not a cool habit in the west. It is an expensive dirty habit that even affect the chances of having quality people around you.

I completely forgot the expensive health insurance premium smokers are subjected to and the subtly discrimination such as not being allowed to smoke in social places or even in front of kids.

Legendoo:


That's why it's heavily taxed in the west to discourage it.

No government wants to pick up the slack for your irresponsible behaviour.

This new generation who grew up watching western TV will even tell those who are actually living there that they're backwards lol .

Talk about naivety and under exposure.


They are yet to learn that actions have consequences. Some mistakes can't be corrected and consequences will come full circle in the future.

We have a responsibility as adults to help steer this youngins who grew up on the internet and help them discern reality from what the read and see on social media. Especially regarding imitating the west.

Exactly - they have no idea. These ignorant Nigerians are not aware that some smokers go for therapy too.

Your last sentence is extremely important. Hollywood and Social Media are both doing a great disservice to many Nigerians who have no idea of how the world truly operates, but continue to imitate extreme behaviors.

HeyCorleone:


Lol you people and your fake standards.

“It’s irresponsible for a woman to smoke”. Why? No reason at all. It’s just irresponsible. Regular profiling.

It is irresponsible for anyone to smoke. It impacts negatively on one's health. It is a dirty lifestyle choice. It is addictive and also an expensive habit (if you calculate the amount spent on tobacco from day one). It is for those who lack control or discipline.

Juxtapose these characteristics to a woman who is expected to nuture, care for children, teach, transmit, and transfer culture. What do you think will be the outcome - a world of smokers, irresponsible, and impulsive humans.

TheNoble007:


At the bolded, don't be deceived. The stigmatization is also great here as well... You are better off to quit smoking if not because of moral sake, then at least for your health sake. You can never know the impact until your later years, and the vast majority of people who smoke, later go into drugs with time. Now compare the nemesis living in Nigeria.

Earlier this year, I underwent a regular medical checkup and my white doctor was so amazed when she saw my chest X-ray. This is possible as I don't smoke and do not inhale.

I do not know you. Albeit, I want you to live long and enjoy the fruit of your labour.



Shalom.

Thanks for your comment. I get to read so many ignorant comments and threads on nairaland comparing Nigeria with the West. Many of the individuals have never traveled before or reside in the west. They only get a window view of the west via Hollywood and they think that's how the west operates.

To the OP, smoking is a detestable behavior everywhere in the world. Smokers are not allowed to smoke in public spaces and are usually confined outdoors even during winter. Such lifestyle choice is frowned at by the larger society in the West. Don't let Hollywood deceive you. It is an addictive behaviour that attracts addicts and like minds to you. This is not gender related, but women who smoke get the long stick of the cane.

Smoking indicates the lack of control, insecurities, and impulsiveness. It is a dirty behaviour. The larger percent of western women who engage in this classless lifestyle choice are usually low-lives, prostitutes, homeless, and addicts. You can pick your lifestyle choice but you cannot determine how people would react towards you.

Your choice!

PS: To those who continue to make comparison between Nigeria and the West and their only experience is via Hollywood and tales from tourists, please snap out of it and get a life.

okoroemeka:
to be sincere i stopped reading the post when he said his wife slaps him and he does nothing,I remembered the only fight I ever had with my wife,my business partner called me to come let's go and check a promising business deal,my wife took my car keys and insisted that I am not going anywhere and started abusing me that we are going to chase babes,hmmm!the car I bought with my money and a woman i paid her bride price,it turned into a fight and i beat the living daylights out of her,later she has to apologise with one big broiler,3 tubers of yam and one carton of beer,it has been 15 years since that fight and she has not raised her voice too loud again,if you dare slap me in my house I used my money to build be ready for serious problem

You can't try this abroad. You would end up in jail and your wife will end up in another man's bed.

I think youngies of these days must understand life is transactional. Such amount of money would entice any lady who is broke and even the pretentious ones.

In this era of social media, many women are now hooked into the materialistic adventures of life. The moment you mention the money they already conditioned their mind on how and what to spend it on.

With a one night stand and N500,000 reward on the table, even married women and your favorite celebs would be scrambling to be first in line. Hence, not just the money alone, the conditions inherent to the deal matters.

Cashsteady:
Seriously Nigerian girls are just plain useless and this is the truth... They are just nothing but broke useless hoes who only cares about money... Reason why white girls are far better. You hardly see a white girl dating a guy because of the money.. even if a rich nigga is trying to bribe them, they tell you no straight up and even tell you to Bleep off with your money. Reason why most of them cheats over there is probably because they found a bigger dick than their partners they don't cheat for the money..


Yahoo boys of 18 years old dey tear pussy of a married lady of 30 years . Why? Because of the money!

Na only Nigeria girl you' go dey text she no go reply but once you say send aza fast fast she don reply.

This their money mentally is so annoying tbf ... No real girl in Nigeria all are just after fucking money..


Niggas you better make money and secure a better life for yourself outside this country, marry better oyinbo girl rather all this useless liabilities Called Nigerian girls.

And you think the white women don't like money too? Your post is for someone who has not traveled outside the country.

Angela62:
Not until I gave birth to my son and started raising them, before I understood the kinds of challenges the male child faces. Society is built on the false premise that women have challenges only, and men are the cause if it. So therefore, male child are ignored. Before I use to tout anything female, but now, I can see that it's not a good approach because both gender suffer.

But I ask myself, after developing and elevating women, will they date and marry themselves? Isn't the same men that society ignored and don't want to invest upon will be their future husband, Co workers, pastors and much more? You can't tell me you love women and want to help them, why refusing to help men, same men that the majority of female happiness comes from. The earlier we open our eyes to the bigger picture, the better for all of us.

I'm glad you have a turnaround but it took you having male kids to have the rethink and that's selfish. If you had only female kids, you would have continued in your line of thinking.

A lot of women are like you especially young women. They hate men for no other reason but for merely existing as men. They champion causes to ridicule men and portray men as the architect of their problems. However, they have never thought of a society without men or a society with WEAK men.

Like you rightly said, each gender has their own specific challenges and it would be fair to treat everyone right.

Shalom

The mom is right. You gave them breaking news. You gave people topic to discuss. I thought she has a partner already and I don't think people are really interested in her relationship even if it's heterosexual. People only comment when you bring your relationship to the public

She is done. Seems like premeditated murder. Now I wonder what those NGOs were up to

Klass99:
Some of you married people will not make heaven o!

A wife maltreats a maid, the husband stands by, stays silent and does nothing!

All in the name of I don't want problem or for peace to reign! May the universe align to punish all of you.

Nonsense and ingredients.

Sometimes because of the slimy nature of women. He rebukes his wife, she accused him of sleeping with her. If she kills the maid, both him and the wife would go to jail.

On the other hand, women are hypocrites. They would violate, dehumanize their maids but scream "Man beater" and domestic violence if their husband slap them

SmartProf:
First and foremost, nobody here will 'share in your pain'..we can only advise you, but if the pain persist, then it means you and that pain of yours will need to sign a memorandum of Understanding.

You seem to be more interested in frivolous 'red flags' than being in charge of your home as a responsible leader who should address real issues with firmness. You married your wife and if things aren't the way it should be, if you can't mend it, then quit it. Your 13 years in marriage seems like you are marking 13 years in jail.

Lastly, I think the minimum qualification for marriage should be revised else we'll keep reading nonesense from people who can't manage teddies talkless of a family.

Spoken like a real man. Take charge of your home and if the wife doesn't fall in line, quit the marriage. Men you marry women and not the other way round.

enirock:
Make I park here dey entertain myself as I never marry.
I don already know watin I go do if my wife say e no wan do. Make I just dey enjoy the comments.

Like say when una dey take vows of marriage no be unconditional love una promise each other...

I will suggest you like her know before taking her to the altar

ThickSharon123:



If I do decide to get married and if my man is very very endowed. It's him that would get tired, because it would be every night.

Just put on my sexy lingerie and perfume
In the room, then wait for him, while I twerk my hips and invite him to lick me up... Then give him all the styles that's in my head that night.

You are not married yet and not a mother which changes your hormonal balance, body structure and focus. Sometimes your husband may not even be interested in having sex with you.

jay89:
Before I get married I always view some of my friends that are married who are flirting outside as people that are not responsible. But now I understand. When my wife put to bed, we did not have sex for like 3 months +. When we start having sex the flow was not like before she got pregnant and put to bed. Omo their was this night my wife was not in the mood but she decide to give in, it was one of the worst sexual experience I have in my life. Since then once my wife is not in the mood I decide not to bother her again. Hmmmm the side chick I'm criticising my friends years back I'm into it now. Last last konji na bastard.

Your eyes don open. You're welcome.

Angrymode:
OP, are you saying sex should only happen when a woman wants it?

What is this world turning into these days? Must everything go the way of women?

Allow men to marry multiple wives so that when you are not in the mood perhaps another might be - NO.

I'm not saying men shouldn't be considerate to women's feelings and mood but women should also be considerate to the needs of their men.

Another solution to this problem is for women to accept sidechicks for their men who are willing to always help satisfy their men whenever they want.

Our ancestors knew this and kept their wives on rotation. However, these women want to control men and weak men encourage these feminist to control them.

For suckered men - women don't like weak men.

justli:
If you want to be a feminist and keep with the "men are scum" narrative, by all means refrain from getting married.

"Marital duty" is a thing and an obligation for that matter. If your husband irritates and turn you off, my dear that's your personal problem find a way out because the poor man deserves sexual satisfaction.

I like to see how youd feel if you're on the side of the conversation and you husband rejects you everyday, months on end because, in his excuse , he is not in the mood.

Some of you have carried this western lifestyle too far, and the thing you don't realise is that this westerners, themselves have lost it and are struggling to find their identity.

The words of the bible is a compass that holds through regardless of civilization. Use it as your guide.

Oh they are pushing the boundary and they will continue to push it. I live in the west and one major concern is liberal and progressive propaganda which have created weaker men and women despise weak men.

As you can see feminist are pushing for agenda that give rise to produce weak men they hate and won't elope with. Yet you see suckered men agreeing to confused propaganda that generates chaos.

A wife or traditional woman would not agreed to the nonsense publication because she understands men better and knows what marital obligations means. She also understands the risk of not fulfilling them because another traditional woman will occupying her space without a blink of an eye.

Currently in the west, the most single women are the ones with feminist ideology. These women who grow up and regret their past can't keep men. Also western men are no longer queuing up to marry western women. Let the silly Nigerian feminist pursue their agenda - the end game is there waiting....

Maryjane001:
Nobody owes the other sex. It is an obligation both parties must be willing to engage in. A spouse can reconsider and pause things if the other half is sick or stressed out.

Personally, as long as I and my partner spice up our sex life regularly, I 'd look forward to it every time except when things are not so alright.

I understand your writeup, but just want to highlight the contradiction. The word "Obligation" which you include mean - the act or course of action, or commitment an individual is morally or legally bound to do.

To translate - it means something an individual MUST do. So when you say nobody owes each other sex and it is an obligation both parties must engage in - that's the contradiction.

Another feminist publication to absolve women of marital obligations. Marriage is responsibility and I know responsibility and accountability to a woman is cryptonite.

Women, there are days you don't feel like working but you drag yourself to work because you have an obligation. The same is with marriage.

Now, let's flip it - you want your husband to understand your sexual mood and will only have sex with him when you're in the heat of it. This is EXTREMELY selfish and inconsiderate in light of the fact that a man's sexual need is 4 -12 times higher than a woman's.

While it is understandable that a woman's libido is lower, consideration must be established that a man's libido is higher. If he is to express such understanding to only have sex with a woman when she wants it. Then such understanding should be extended to the man that he can have sex when he wants, but probably not with the wife.

Aha! The feminist movement will scream "I don't want a cheater". "I WILL DIVORCE HIM". Can these women see the irony, the selfishness, and despicable silliness. You cannot take care of your husband's sexual needs - agreed. Then let him take care of it. Stop pressuring men to become women. We are not women.

Men, if your wife is refusing to fulfill her part of her marital obligation and this includes satisfying you sexually, divorce her. If you do try to go get it outside, she will divorce you or be irritated by your mere presence. Such women are not ready for marriage. Let them remain single and die alone.

You probably should not judge her based on her upbringing. However, people usually don't give what they never had. If she has never seen or was raised in her structured family and observable marriage structure, she will never give you that because she has never seen it, doesn't know what it looks like, does not possess the skills and is not in training to learn.

Many people go into marriages hoping things works out. No, it doesn't work that way. Marriage is like a job employment, if you don't possess the skills, you will have nothing to give. If you are not willingly to learn as fast as possible, you make some many errors that can't be corrected.

Unfortunately, this is an important decision that only you can make. Its up to you.

Fahdiga:
It is a crime to be rich in Nigeria

Yes if your riches appear to be from illegal source.

If EFCC have a case, they will let us know