RightToReject:





It's not about unnecessary aggression or anything of such, OK. I don't like the idea of anyone distorting facts wittingly or unwittingly. You and I know that in the same Igboland, the poor have always buried their relatives based on the size of their pocket, culture or no culture.

It's the same thing when some myopic people from or outside the Igboland, or bigoted hateful people from outside the Igbo land, strive hard to tell whosoever cares to listen that anyone who wants to marry an Igbo woman must pay and spend millions, whereas evidence abounds everywhere that people from within and outside marry Igbo women based on the size of their pockets or how they present themselves culture or no culture.

Culture has never been about how the dead people did their things; rather, it has always been about how the living people choose to do their things.

Yes. Rather than coming to Nairaland to vent. He should go back to his in-laws and negotiate what he can afford.

GboyegaD:
The Nigerian situation cannot get any better if we keep trying to hold unto what is not. Some people are given burials that they never had a taste of a tenth of such while they were alive.

OP, my advice once again, do not live to please people. The dead is gone, do what is necessary (support the family with your words of hope even at this trying time) and leave the rest. Dem no dey catch person wey no contribute and should anyone want to talk you down about not contributing, cut off such a person. You are grown enough to recognize tantrums and avoid such.

Chief, this is not about pleasing anyone. This is tradition. If you don't understand, keep quiet. The in-laws burying their father also have financial commitment too but as per traditional rites, they have to do the right thing. There is a difference here.

People open their mouth to talk anyhow but when face with the situation, they will do similar thing.

Karlman:
I called my senior bros yesterday and he listed all that culture demands from me which included Goats and yams and palm wine and beer...three big goats to be precise and each from 35 to 40 k

Bros I understand your situation. Unfortunately, you may need to seek for a short-term loan else them go rubbish you. Your reputation is actually on the line and I understand the expense is sudden and prompt. However, please comply and go ahead.

Bolarineliza202:
A pretty,rich,arrogant and unromantic lady
Versus unattractive,poor,humble and romantic lady.

As a woman, you missed out what men want from women - Submissiveness and Respect. Men, especially those who are doing well financially don't care about a woman's money. A man is not necessarily searching for a romantic lady.

Unfortunately, the OP doesn't know Kogi and Kaduna is middle belt and not North.

I don't think you need to ask a woman such question especially a single woman. If you're interested in her, say it and mean it.

A woman will make room for you if she is interested in you else you will inform you of her relationship status. This also includes married women. However, as a man, if she agrees to be in a relationship with you, then you must set ground rules

Your wife is baiting you. There is certainly no need to bring in your past situation when she is aware of it and still agreed to marry you.

Lay the ground rules as a man. Caution her to stop it and inform her of the consequences if she decides to continue such pattern.

Women are not men and they act irrationally. They are emotional beings with hormonal imbalance that creates lots of confusion in their head. You must be firm with women and not flexible else they will blame you for their shortcomings, unhappiness, family issues, and literally anything that make them insecure.

I also want to include this advice to men. Don't focus on making a woman happy. Happiness is from within. Focus on you and your goals and your wife will fall in line appropriately.

I don't know what these people do with these monsters and call them pets

WUdec:


Evian Water (1.5L) costs 1,101 Naira in the UK. Eva water (1.5L) costs 250-300 Naira in Nigeria.

If the person living in the UK comes to Nigeria and decides to buy 24 bottles of Eva water for his family meal for a day, does it mean he is showing off or trying to put himself on a pedestal?

If you haven't spent or earned a certain amount of money in your life, you'd always see that figure as astronomical until the day you actually get it. Then you'd look at the bigger picture and want bigger numbers.

If you ain't ever seen 1m and its hard for you to spend in a day, not everybody is in your shoes.

So they ain't lying, they are spitting facts. Work hard and don't doubt another man's pocket because you doubt yours.

Not all pockets have holes in 'em.

Chief there are some people you don't respond to. You just keep it moving.

omoyankee3:
So ordinary visit is that expensive. What if a person decides to relocate to naija permanently?

To maintain the lifestyle you have abroad you need N4m - N5m monthly

TUGOCHUKWU:
A friend of my just came back from Dubai and he spent over 2m for few months in nigeria.doh na Abuja d idiot go lodge

I wonder why you guys think N2m is expensive. If it is for you. It might not be for another. Can we stop reviewing people based on our lenses. If you cannot afford it don't insult someone who can.

cliqtips:
Incase you are based abroad and you need a husband to join you over there, That's me you are loving for.
I'm AS, 0+, I can cook, I can sweep, I'm caring, loving, I can pray and I can knack too.

We will also give birth to cute children you know grin grin.

Send me a PM if you come across this hun, we would start from there.


my wife might be in your neighborhood or on your SM TL.

Don't be desperate.

pansophist:


If I want to spend one million naira in a day, it's possible. The issue here is me making it seems like it's Nigeria's fault for making me spend such, instead of my financial recklessness. Looking at your numbers, if you can afford it, more power to you. But see that money, if you divide it by three, I'll still enjoy myself in naija pass you sef. No joke.

What happened to Airbnb and eating at places like tasty fried chicken or a good street restaurant or cook even? Why pay 120k for a night when that amount can rent a place for a week at least on Airbnb. Even there are cheaper hotels. I was in enugu in February and didn't spend more than 10k per night in a good hotel with ac, breakfast and every. Why waste money?

My point remains. The problem is not Nigeria or Buhari, it is you who choose to spend and dine an expensive lifestyle. Nothing wrong with it, but don't complain or blame naija. I use God beg you.

Again like I said it is dependent on the lifestyle the individual is accustomed to. I can understand our individual experiences would be different and I don't doubt you enjoying your stay for less the amount I spent. However, enjoyment is relative. What you enjoy may not be what I find enticing.

When I visit Nigeria I restrict myself to two cities (Lagos and Abuja). In Lagos, I restrict myself to the Island and will never visit the mainland except I'm going to the airport. I can understand Enugu would be cheaper, I get it but I won't visit Enugu. I don't find the city appealing and I have been there on several occasions.

I will not do Airbnb because I consider my safety top priority. I will also not stay in a hotel lower than a 4 star because I love to enjoy my comfort and know the services offered to me will be unquestionable. I also don't eat in the fast-food restaurants you mentioned including those here. I only get coffee from fast-food restaurants. Even when I lived in Nigeria, I don't patronized such places. I don't look down on people who do because it maybe down to preference or affordability.

Would someone spend less to have a good time in Nigeria, yes. Have the prices of food and commodities gone up in Nigeria, yes. If I actually reveal how much I spent, your jaw would drop. You may disbelief me and that's fine. I choose not to because everyone's experience cannot be the same. I may prefer to stay at the George and you may prefer to stay at an Inn, but that doesn't exclude the fact that we both visited Nigeria.

Have a good one.

Davidganna10:
The amount of lies flying in here is pulsating, most of you are just throwing in figures carelessly 2.5million(4,5k) $15k, $10k. a family of 3 can live comfortably in every county, neighborhood, downtowns in the world and I mean everyone. Central London uk, Manhattan, new York, USA, San Francisco, CA, USA, you name it.

Except you came back for a burial ceremony, chieftaincy title, e.t.c or you have a business, or building projects gulping those sums. If it is casual visit you guys are not saying the truth. Geez!

You are reviewing the comment of people using your own lens

pansophist:
Guys, alot of this guys are lying. Over 2.5M in a month? That's like spending about 100k everyday. Really? Why una de lie like this? I don't know where this guys find the money sef, lots of Nigerians abroad are broke. Real time. No joke. Make una de lie small small abeg.

I understand that you intend to make folks back home miserable, your sense of worth is predicated on how much other puts you on a pedestals, and them having the consciousness that you're doing fine, but it is wrong. It means you're a shitty person.

Yes that's possible.

A 4 star - 5 star hotel room (standard) if you beg and negotiate very well is from N65,000 - N120,000. That's just for one night. Though it comes with breakfast.

An average price for lunch in good restaurants and Lounges could cost from N5,000.00 - N15,000.00 and dependent on what you eat, your drink and the number of people with you. So you could spend N35,000.00 for lunch and dinner. If you add other activities, your total cost per day could be within N100,000 and over.

I spent more than N2.5m so I don't doubt that and like I said it is based on the individual.

I'm not going to call that help. I think you are being disingenuous. You were Facilitating the process of sleeping with her. You could have been blunt and straight to the point.

She did not respond to your initial communication because you had nothing to offer her at that point. That was a warning sign or redflag. She called you at the least expected time and you fell for it. Again, you should have proposition an offer. I guess you would learn from your little experience.

avrilwisedata:
My brother, I taya o. Maybe because they feel it's Nigeria their country, everything should be free for them coming back from the abroad. Calculate these millions to dollars and compare with your time there for the same time frame. Una just dey cast aspersions on the country whereas una dey make money in foreign currencies abroad. Lol

Not exactly. The rate of inflation has quadruple within 3 years in Nigeria. When family and friends complain, we really don't understand till your feet is on the ground. Also, I think we are used to a certain Nigerian standard. I was actually surprised the cost of bread had gone up and even the size of Akara has reduced. The complaint I got was beans is expensive.

I visited Nigeria recently. What I can say the cost of living has skyrocketed and prices of commodities are now 3x the cost when I left. I don't stay with anyone because of avoiding increasing their expenses, I choose to stay in hotels and the prices are now ridiculous and more expensive than hotels of the same grade abroad.

Buffet in these hotels (I stayed in 5 hotels, 4 in Lagos and 1 in Abuja) are now expensive. Buffet used to be N5,000.00 in Orientals and 4Points, 6,000.00 in Intercontinental but now N13,500.00 on average in these hotels and locations. Plus I had guests and the drinks are ridiculous to the point I would suggest you just purchase your own alcohol. 1 shot of Hennessy was N6,000.00.

I also had to used Smile wifi modern and paid N30,000.00. This lasted me throughout my visit. I had no problem with this. I was also impressed I could use the same modern in Lagos and Abuja and when I'm in my hotel rooms, I used their wifi.

Since I had no vehicle and don't stay with people, I relied heavily on Uber and Bolt. Some drivers were really nice and had to wait for me for each of my rendezvous. I spent quite a bit here but I cannot complain. However, I noticed the cost of Bolt in Abuja is 3x less than the cost in Lagos for the same Kilometer. The drivers said it's because of Lagos traffic and truly Lagos traffic was something else. Though, the lekki toll gate was non-functional.

Finally, the cost of company was my other concern. Naija used to be some much fun without considering the price. However, I noticed the cost of company per night has gone through the roof. Also, the desperation is immeasurable. I can't say much about clubbing activities. I didn't club much but patronized lounges. I had no concerns with that too because I believe it's dependent on your consumption level. To conclude, despite the high cost, I had a good time in naija and I don't mind visiting soon. Probably, my learning points from my next visit would guide me. However, with the cost of dollars shooting to N600.00, it maybe irrelevant. I also feel it is irrelevant indicating my total cost. While it was quite expensive, I believe its dependent on the lifestyle you are accustom or one you intend to experience in Nigeria and it would never be the same incomparison with another tourist.

J2381:
Na WA oh. Even with all the controversy, Negativity and pettiness, she's still getting endorsement deals. Chai!

Staged. The company doesn't have a physical address. It also provides vague services.

J2381:
Na WA oh. Even with all the controversy, Negativity and pettiness, she's still getting endorsement deals. Chai!

Staged

Tonto is sick and needs a therapist. This is not an insult. She needs medical attention. It's quite sad and disturbing. Not quite long she was heaping praises on this man, next minute she is chasing him all over Nigeria and insulting him.

She keeps attracting notoriety to herself. I think relationship isn't for her. She doesn't know how to attract good men, keep and maintain a relationship. SHE IS TOXIC AND SHOULD BE AVOIDED AT ALL COST. This includes those paying for sexual encounters with her.

Terrier99:


He won't win but Tonto will see Hell.
Churchill's head is very strong. Remember what we use to say about karma, that guy is her karma. She will be taught a bitter lesson.

It's not about winning. It's about curtailing the abuse of power by the DSS. The DSS is harassing him and he decided to approach the court.

I think Tonto has met her match. I like Kpogogriri (I hope I spelt his name properly) approach in handling this matter. The DSS has no business getting involved in this situation. The consistent tactics of harassing, threatening and monitoring him is unconstitutional and an infringement on his human right.


On the other hand, if he has committed a crime, investigate is and arrest him. I also thought the Nigerian Police is responsible for investigating such matters regardless of where the petitioner lay the complaints. It clearly appears that Tonto is exploiting her connection to violate her ex-boyfriend human rights, just like many Nigerians do.

To conclude, as this matter unfolds, Tonto is burying her reputation. Only a mad man with all these unfolding events will consider her as a mate, talk more of a girlfriend and wife.

Chief you're in a toxic marriage. If the genders were interchanged and the story was posted here on Nairaland, these misandrists would advise your wife to leave you and claim you are toxic.

Unfortunately your wife has emasculated you and now controls you. Oga, you have been lied to by feminist movement group that they best way to treat a woman is to stay peaceful. I am married and I will tell you - they are liars and they aim to control and suppress men.

Your wife and you have invested over a decade in your marriage and have 3 children. Chief, if you are unaware of your manhood, let me be the first to tell you that your wife's value has diminished. No serious man will consider her seriously other than to have sex with her. Also, you are too predictable for her and in all honesty, she truly regrets marrying you - forget the lies being told she spoke out of anger. She only expressed the truth when the opportunity presented itself.

Finally, you can choose to be emasculated and suffer in your marriage or be a man and put your wife where she belongs - a help mate and not your leader.

I find his remarks idiotic because as an artiste, your album is your discography - your body of work. If he chooses not to compile his work in the form of an album, that's his lazy problem.

The CBN must understand they created a racketeering industry from the shortages of FOREX. As a result a lot of companies and individuals are racking in huge profits.

Whether there is a centralized currency exchange board such as abokifx or not, it would not stop the devaluation of the naira if there is scarcity of FOREX.

Harrynight:


Should we tell her why Real Men Are ACTUALLY Scared of HER or we should mind our business??

I think we use words inappropriately and I don't mean you in particular. The word "scared" is used wrongly. She would have used "avoid". Scared and Avoid are not the same thing. I don't think men are scared of Toke. Men just avoid her because she is a nutcase. Men are not scared or avoid beautiful women. Infact, beautiful women are the ones who get married quickly. She needs to reexamine herself and her nutwig mentality

Blakjewelry:
Omo pepper don scarce for Canada too, buharanomic

Not exactly. The weather is getting cold in Canada at the moment and it will be winter soon. These farm produce becomes either expensive or unavailable during the winter. Hence, I guess why they are rushing to stock up. However, I still don't understand the unnecessary rush.

He is getting ready to like Shitty

saphiere:
I tare my sister.
The reason why I can't live with people or seek for their help. They will always remind you the favour they did for you.

Sure and it is normal because they lifted you and now is your turn to return the favor especially when they could do with the assistance.

If they had ignored your plea for assistance, the road to success would be long and wary. People should try to appreciate the efforts others have made for them.

ONE WORD - ATTITUDE

OP don't let anyone shame you based on your preference. I will also add that you're a smart and intelligent young man to think this way. At your age, you are wiser than your mate and won't regret your choice.